by C. A. Harms
“I asked if you were done yet.” His face was only inches from mine now. I took a chance and shook my head. “Wrong answer.” He turned, still holding my waist and walked toward the house.
“It’s your fault,” I whispered as I hooked my arms around his neck. What was the point of fighting him?
“It’s my fault you stripped naked and swam in the lake?” he asked as he looked straight ahead.
“You make me delirious with your skillful fingers,” I explained. “When you pressed my button of delirium, crazy things happen.”
My insane babbling seemed to catch his attention. As we emerged from the water, he lowered me to my feet but continued to hold me close as he shielded my nakedness with his body.
“Button of delirium?” he asked. I only nodded. “You mind explaining what the hell that is?”
I bit my lip, and instead of answering his question, I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and lowered our hands. I widened my stance and placed his hand between my thighs before thrusting my hips forward. On contact, a moan fell from my lips, and he smirked. Jackson lightly traced his lower lip with his tongue as he took it upon himself to slide his finger through my slick center.
“I planned on fixing everything once I got you inside my place,” he said.
“I didn’t want to wait,” I countered.
“So my touch made you delirious?”
“Every single touch.”
He hooked his other hand around the back of my neck and pulled my lips to his for a soft kiss. “Even this?”
“Yes,” I whispered breathlessly. “Even that.”
“You are something else, darlin’.” He licked along the seam of my lips. “Let’s go inside so I can clean you up and then get you dirty again.”
“I like the sound of that,” I purred.
“You’ll like the feel of it too.” He winked as he stepped back and walked me toward the house. After lowering me to the ground just outside the door, he stripped down to his boxers and tossed them to the side.
I walked toward the bathroom as he followed closely behind, my mind racing with thoughts of just how dirty he planned to get me.
Chapter Sixteen
Jackson
“Do you two ever keep your damn clothes on?” Ryan asked as I climbed up into the cab of his truck.
It had been two weeks since Bailey stripped naked and went for a swim in the lake. Since then, we had a few more occasions where we left piles of clothing scattered around outside. Last night, things started out innocent. We had decided to sit on the deck and have a drink. I, of course, chose a simple bottle of beer, but Bailey insisted on one of those girly-ass margaritas. Things were peaceful until she dumped her strawberry shit all over the deck and her leg.
When she got the hose to clean up her mess, her innocence shifted into that crazy look she sometimes got, and damn if she didn’t turn the hose on me.
Well, one thing led to another, and we had stripped down and had sex right there on the deck, facing the open land that stretched for miles.
“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face.” Ryan punched me in the shoulder, and I looked over at him, wagging my eyebrows. “Seriously, don’t even answer that question. I need to be able to look Bailey in the eyes, and if you tell me how the hell you two keep getting naked in your yard, I can’t do that.” He shivered, and I chuckled as I shifted my eyes forward.
I had a new horse coming in today at eight, and we had to finish cleaning the stall before then. Since it was Saturday morning and my oldest brother was free, I gave him no choice but to help.
Ma had started to surface. We were all a little worried about her for a while. We would find her still in bed at noon or sitting at her kitchen table staring at a blank wall, oblivious to anything around her. But now she was joining us in the mornings for chores, and she even went back to her Tuesday and Thursday luncheons with the ladies from church. But what helped her the most was when Amber and Bailey recruited her to work at the bakery three days a week. I think that made her feel like she had a purpose again.
Ryan and I got so wrapped up in our chores that neither of us noticed when the trailer and truck came to a stop in the driveway. But the woman’s voice caught our attention.
“Hey, Jackson.”
I spun on my heel and almost dropped the shovel I was holding.
Phoebe Fairchild. The girl that looks all kinds of innocent but who is one freaky chick. No, not freaky as in one of those “worships Satan and sacrifices cats” kind of people. She was a full-blown, “rock your socks off,” nympho kind of freak. I should know, considering I had spent months experiencing all things Phoebe. But what I didn’t know was what in the hell she was doing standing in my barn.
I was just about to say something in return when I looked up to see Ryan exit the stall at the end. His eyes grew wide when he saw her and then quickly shifted to me.
“Well, what kind of greeting is that?” she asked before she practically threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around my neck, smashing her tits against my bare chest. I was covered in sweat and dirt, but she didn’t seem to care. Leaning back, she looked up at me, still holding on tight. “It’s been, what, a year and half since we last saw each other?”
I stepped back and felt her reluctance as she released my neck. “Yeah, I’d say that sounds about right.”
We were never truly a couple; we just slept together…a lot. For the better part of a year, we were in her bed or mine, and she showed me things I didn’t know were possible. Things most girls would refuse to do, Phoebe did and did well.
I shook my head to clear those memories and tried to put a little space between us. I pointed toward Ryan, and he held his hands up innocently. But no way was I letting him desert me.
“You remember my brother Ryan,” I said.
She looked back over her shoulder and offered him a seductive smile. “Hey, Ryan, how are you doing?” She was never shy about showing a man she thought he was attractive. Like I said, Phoebe Fairchild was a freaky sex kitten.
“Good, thanks,” he offered quickly before turning to walk back into the stall, leaving me to fend for myself. Asshole.
“So, uh.” I looked over her shoulder. “Whatchya got there?” I nodded toward the driveway, where the huge truck attached to the trailer was parked.
She smiled without taking any time to look at what I was referring to. “That is Cherry, my daddy’s newest money-maker. She will for sure be the hottest ticket on the tracks—well, once you get her race-ready, that is.” She looked my body up and down, and I suddenly knew how a woman felt when a man looked at her like she was his next meal. When Bailey gave me that same look, my body felt like it’d been lit on fire. When Phoebe offered me the same appraising once-over, fuck, I just felt dirty and slightly violated.
“Well, I’ll do my best, Phoebe,” I assured her.
“I remember how skilled you are, how dedicated to giving it your all. You never disappoint, hitting your mark and driving it home each time.”
She hadn’t changed. Not one damn bit. The sexual innuendo oozed from her every word.
I was in trouble and I knew it.
I attempted to distract her another way. “Let’s take a look at Cherry.” I walked past her, making sure I put more than enough distance between us.
When I got to the back of the trailer, I immediately fell in love. Cherry was beautiful. Her coloring was such a dark shade of brown she almost looked black. She also had a few distinct white markings, like the patch of white between her eyes that resembled a diamond, and her right front sock.
“Her muscle tone is exquisite. She has great hips.” I ran my hand over Cherry’s back. She backed up and flipped her head away from me as he turned around slowly, whipping her tail as she stepped to the side of the trailer. “And she has attitude too.”
I looked back to find Phoebe once again watching me closely, except this time she was biting her lip.
I had a bad feeling this was only going to get
messy.
Real damn messy.
Chapter Seventeen
Bailey
“I love it! You look stunning,” I said as Amber spun around, modeling the wedding gown.
Olivia, Tammy, and I had spent the afternoon with Amber as she’d tried on dress after dress, only growing more disappointed with each one.
Until now.
This was definitely the perfect fit. She looked gorgeous, and I instantly envied her. She was planning her wedding after finding the man of her dreams. Olivia and Ryan adored Amber, and I was so happy she had found them. Even though things were not always easy for them, they made it through and came out stronger together.
Olivia’s eyes glistened and she hugged Amber. “My dad isn’t gonna know what to do when he sees you standing at the other end of the aisle. You looking amazing.”
“I agree, my son won’t know what hit him,” Tammy cooed as she trailed her fingers over the beaded waist at the back of Amber’s gown.
My default ringtone flowed from my purse, and I stepped away to take the call. Seeing my father’s name on the screen surprised the hell out of me. He never called me, and he rarely answered my calls when I tried to get in touch. The fact he was now sent chills through my body.
I stepped just outside the dressing room, pressed the answer button, and lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello.” I tried to keep the attitude out of my voice, which was next to impossible.
“She did it. She made the attempt to end it, Bailey.”
His words rushed through me like a freight train. My throat felt like it tightened and I could barely get enough air.
“What?” I asked, hoping I had heard him wrong.
“She took all her sleeping meds, and the cleaning lady found her this morning.”
My blood ran cold, and my head felt as if it was about to explode. “Is she…?” I couldn’t say the rest of the words that burned deep in my chest.
“She still had a pulse, but it was weak. She’s in the ICU at Rush. She took the entire bottle of trazodone. They don’t think she’ll have any long-term effects, but…”
I closed my eyes tightly, willing away the tears.
“Can you come home, Bailey?” His voice was shaky. A whisper, actually, and I had never heard my father sound so anguished. After Gabe’s death, he held it together on the outside for the sake of me and my mother, choosing instead to drown his sorrow in work, alcohol, and Carla.
“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed. “I know I messed up. Hell, I keep messing up, but she tried to kill herself. I can’t sit back and wait for her to try again. I need your help, Bailey. I know I don’t deserve it, but I need it. I can’t do this without you.”
I hung my head and fought back the tears. My chest ached, my throat burned, and I felt the impending meltdown.
“Please, you don’t have to come for me. But please come for her. Help me find that woman we both know she is. I just want to find that woman I fell in love with.”
Tears rolled along my cheeks. “I’ll work things out and check on flights,” I told him and immediately felt nauseous. I was so fearful of going back home, fearful of my past. I knew facing my parents and my mother’s pain would only make my own resurface once again.
My back was to the dressing room when I ended the call. Lowering my hands to my sides, I stared blankly at the racks and racks of wedding gowns, then jumped when a hand squeezed my shoulder. As I spun around, my phone fell from my hand and clanked against the tiled floor.
Amber looked at me with concern. “What’s going on, Bay?”
I shook my head, fighting back the tears, yet the burning in my chest only grew more intense. Just over Amber’s shoulder, I saw Tammy and Olivia staring at me in concern.
“Bailey, please,” Amber whispered as she stepped closer.
A sob escaped me, and my chest shook. “She did it,” I cried. “She tried to kill herself.”
I was immediately engulfed in Amber’s arms, and she held me tight as I sobbed and shook against her.
“She’s in the hospital. He’s finally ready to help her, and he wants me to come home,” I sobbed against her shoulder.
“I’ll go with you. Tammy and Rachel can handle the bakery, and if not, we’ll just close it for a week.”
I shook my head and took in a deep breath before lifting my head to look at her and forcing a smile. “I appreciate it, I really do, but I need to do this on my own.”
“Let’s get out of here,” Amber said as she turned around and walked toward the dressing room. “I just need to get out of this dress.”
“I got it, really. I just need to get a flight and pack,” I said as I began making a mental checklist. “I have to drive out to the ranch and get Jackson’s keys so I can get into his house. I have things I need to get from his place too. Really, I’m okay. I’ll check in with you once I know when my flight is.”
“Are you sure?” She turned around to face me, and I could sense the hesitation in her voice.
“Yes,” I replied. “You need to get this dress, Am. It’s perfect. You look beautiful, and if you don’t finish here, you’ll regret it later. Stay and let them check if they need to make alterations. I’m fine, truly I am.”
I grabbed my phone from the floor and tossed it into my bag. They then formed a circle around me and offered the support I so desperately needed. Facing what was waiting for me back in Chicago was going to be one of the hardest things in my life.
Numbness set in as I exited the bridal store. My mind raced with images of my mother in the hospital and memories of Gabe hanging lifeless from the ceiling. Once again, the tears took over, and when I reached my Jeep, I took a few minutes to allow them to fall freely.
***
I made every attempt to hide the signs of my breakdown as I pulled up to the ranch. A huge trailer and truck were blocking the driveway, so I had to park farther down the road. Walking up a gravel drive in five-inch heels was a tedious task, but I managed.
I knew Jackson was working; he had told me last night that he had a new horse coming in. The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt his day, so I decided I’d just quickly grab his house keys and be off.
As I rounded the barn, I heard a woman’s laughter. I knew that kind of laugh—fake and flirtatious with a capital F.
“I used to love watching you work, Jackson,” she cooed. “You’re so strong and full of power.”
I stopped along the edge of the barn and listened.
“That was a long time ago, Phoebe. Things are different now,” Jackson responded.
“They don’t have to be different. We could pick up where we left off.” My irritation rose as she simpered at him. “I remember how much you enjoyed our time together. All those nights we—”
“I said no,” he snapped. “I’m seeing someone, things are good with her, and I have no intention of changing that.”
“Well, if you change your mind…”
Oh my hell no. Who did this bitch think she was?
I stepped into the doorway of the barn and froze. There she was, all flowing, dark hair and fancy clothes. She was gorgeous, and I instantly felt like I was an outsider.
Chapter Eighteen
Jackson
I was just about to tell Phoebe enough was enough when I heard the scuffle of shoes in the gravel. I looked over her shoulder, and my gaze locked on Bailey. My stomach tightened as I took in her expression. Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying. I rushed to her, placed my hands on her hips, and slouched enough to look her directly in the eyes. “Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“I’m sorry to bother you. I know you’re busy,” she whispered as she looked up over my shoulder.
“Hey,” I said, pulling her attention back to me. “It doesn’t matter. You need me, I’m here. I’ve told you this.” I stood tall and placed my hands on either side of her face. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’d rather not talk about it here.”
“Okay,” I sa
id, ushering her toward the house. “Phoebe, I’ll be back in a while.” I led Bailey away from the barn without waiting for Phoebe’s response.
“Jackson, really, it’s okay. I just need to grab your keys,” she said as I turned her once again to face me.
“Why?” I asked, right before I realized I hadn’t yet given her my spare.
“I have to go to Chicago.” She shrugged, and I put my hands on my hips, waiting for more of an explanation. “My father called. My mother is in the hospital.” Her eyes filled with tears. “She tried to kill herself.”
My chest fucking ached with sadness, as if her tears and pain were my own. This had to be so hard for her on top of dealing with the aftermath of her brother’s death and how distant her father had been ever since. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against my chest, not caring that I was shirtless and sweaty. Bailey immediately coiled her hands around my waist and gripped my lower back.
“When are you leaving?” I asked.
“I don’t know yet. Tonight, I hope. I still have to check flights and pack.”
Her sniffles and strained voice almost broke me. I pulled back just enough to allow some space between us. She tilted her head and looked up at me, tears staining her cheeks.
“I’ll go with you,” I told her without a second thought. When she shook her head, I placed a hand on her cheek to steady her. “I can’t let you handle this alone, sweetheart.”
“Yes, I have to. It’s time to face the past.” Bailey squared her shoulders and stood taller. “I can do this,” she assured me.
“I have no doubt you can, but I want to be there for you.”
“Please let me do this,” she whispered.
I wanted to tell her hell no, that there was no way I would let her deal with this without any support. Then I looked at her, really looked at her, and I knew that was exactly what she needed.
“I’m gonna miss you.” I leaned in and kissed her softly, because I had to feel her lips against mine. “I’ve gotten used to you next to me at night. Even though you steal the covers.”