“What is it?” J.J. whispered, breaking off their kiss. “What’s wrong?”
“I was saying good-bye.”
Comprehension lit her gaze. “To Maise.”
“Yes.”
“You loved her very much, didn’t you?”
“She was my life,” he said simply. “She was the first woman I ever truly loved.”
“The newspapers got it wrong.”
“They got it wrong,” he confirmed.
Her eyes gathered him up, branded him with a heat he could feel all the way to his marrow. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked.
He could practically taste her compassion. “Lady, I want to make love to you more than anything.”
“I’m not Maise,” she warned.
“And Maise wasn’t you.”
“In that case...” Her smile quivered to life. “I believe you’re wearing too many clothes.”
“There’s a simple solution.” He offered himself up to her kind generosity. “Take them off me.”
The husky demand brought her smile to full ripeness. But for the first time she showed a slight hesitation. He almost laughed out loud. She stood before him in all her natural glory and yet exhibited a virginal shyness about removing his clothing.
“If you want to make love, I’m afraid they have to come off,” he ever-so-gently teased.
Taking a deep breath, she reached for his neckline, tugging at his tie. So deliberate, so careful. Finally unknotting it, she pulled, sliding the silk length from around his collar. She tackled the buttons next. Slow. Dainty. One button at a time, until his shirt fell open. He held out his wrists and she removed the cuff links he’d used as a replacement for River’s. His shirt drifted to the carpet. She paused, sparing a moment to run her hands across his chest, measuring the breadth of his shoulders and strength of his biceps.
He shuddered beneath the delicate touch. “Don’t stop there,” he urged.
She reached for his belt buckle and stilled. It was then his gut instinct kicked in—the one he’d always assured Nawna he didn’t possess. And he knew...knew the truth, even though he’d have thought it impossible. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”
Her laugh shivered between them. “No.”
“Why now?” he demanded. “Why with me?”
Her eyes flickered, clashing with his, full-on. “You’re the first man I trust. The one man who’s right for me. You...complete me, instead of trying to control me.”
It was his own words given back to him. As true for her as they were for him. He ripped the comforter off his bed and spread it in front of the fire. “Lie down,” he urged. Sensing her nervousness, he gave her a kiss of reassurance, offering a brief taste of the passion he struggled so hard to hold in check. “Trust me. When we make love I want it to be special, as well as safe.”
It only took a moment to shed his trousers and retrieve a protective packet from his dresser drawer. Grabbing an armload of pillows, he scattered them around the comforter before lowering himself beside her. He opened his arms to her, relieved when she flew into them. It was then he realized he’d been holding his breath, expecting her to have second thoughts.
“You don’t have to worry,” she said softly. “I won’t ask you to stop.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Reading my thoughts? Is that an example of fairy magic?”
“No. It doesn’t take any magic to know that you’re one of those who fights the good fight.” She stirred within his arms, looking up at him in utter seriousness. “You’d never take advantage of a situation. In fact, I suspect you’d go to the other extreme. If I’d changed my mind, you’d feel honor-bound to stop.”
His mouth twisted. “Death before dishonor?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Especially since you’ve discovered that dishonor is worse than death.”
He clenched his teeth. “Is that really how you see me? A man who’s lost his honor?”
How could she possibly know how he’d felt about Maise’s death? He’d blamed himself a thousand times over for not protecting her better, lived through the guilt and remorse that mistake had wrought. How could she possibly understand? And yet... somehow she did.
“I didn’t say you were dishonorable. But you’ve had your good name stripped from you by people like Ms. Lark.” He couldn’t deny it, and she continued with an empathy that threatened to destroy him. “You’re a man who’s fought too many wars, unwilling to return home for fear he’ll find all he holds dear long gone.”
Her comment cut to the quick. He knew she spoke spiritually, which only made it more painful. She was right. He was afraid to look too deeply at his life, afraid he’d discover nothing at the core but a dark void. “And how would you know that?” His voice grated, raw with pain—a dead giveaway.
She shifted, kneeling within the circle of his arms, her gaze locking with his. The firelight warmed the honey in her eyes and burnished her cheekbones with a vibrant glow. Reaching up, she cupped his face, her touch offering a succor he’d never before possessed. “Because I’ve known dishonor. And because I’m afraid to go home, too. You’re not alone, Raven. I’m with you every step of the way.”
With an anguished groan, he bent to her, drinking in her taste, allowing her sweetness to drive the poison from his soul. Every kiss became a healing balm, every touch a rejuvenation of spirit. And when she’d given all she had, he gave back, worshiping her with all that was in him, doing his utmost to make this a moment she’d remember for the rest of her life.
Gently he eased her backward onto the comforter. Her hair pooled beneath her head like a midnight tide and he sank his hands into the rippling waves of darkness, marveling at the softness. He joined them with a kiss, spreading her lips and easing within, losing himself in a pleasure more intense than any he’d ever known.
Beside him a log crackled and sparks sprayed upward. It was a raging fire trapped behind an iron grate. Raven lifted his head and stared down at J.J. A similar fire raged within him. But the woman in his arms had removed the grate and loosened the flames, allowing them to consume all in their path. Allowing them to consume her, as well.
She was the most perfect woman he’d ever seen, her limbs long and lean, her breasts high and firm, the peachhued tips puckered for his kiss. He caught them between his teeth feeling the tension building in the fluid muscles beneath his hands, a preliminary rippling of passion. He reached for the swell of her hips, slipping the scrap of silk down her legs. And once he’d stripped the last of her clothing away, he kissed a trail of fire upward, anointing her sweetness until she cried for him—cried a song more alluring than a siren’s.
Desire didn’t unfurl, but exploded, generating a heat to rival the fire’s core. He saw the shock in her eyes, swiftly replaced by a desperate need. She bunched the comforter in her fists, opening herself to him in a silent plea. He slid his hands beneath her and angling her hips upward, poised above. In that timeless moment, their gazes meshed. She’d called him a warrior, described him as a man of honor. But there was one thing she hadn’t said. One word she hadn’t used. That omission glowed in her eyes. In that brief instant she surrendered the last bit of herself, hiding nothing from him, forcing him to acknowledge the truth.
When she gave herself to him it was out of love. And when he took her and made her his own, he gave back that love a hundred fold.
Raven handed J.J. a glass of wine before tossing another log on the fire. They’d slept for a short time after they’d made love, but neither wanted to waste the evening on such a prosaic pastime as sleep. Not when there were so many more interesting activities.
“So tell me, fairy lady,” he said. “Why are you so certain you’re the practical one in your family?”
She sat up, wrapping an arm around her bent knee. Her dark hair caped her shoulders in satin. “It’s not a pretty story.”
“I’d like to hear it, anyway.”
She swirled the wine in the glass, staring into its ruby depths. “
There are three of us in my family. Four if you include my father.” Raising her glass to her lips, she took a sip. “Jacq and my younger brother, Cord. And me. Up until ten months ago I worked exclusively for my father’s PR firm, Limelight International—as I’m sure you already know.”
He stilled. “Why do you say that?”
She glanced at him over her shoulder, her mouth tugging to one side. “A man in your situation would have had me investigated the minute I arrived on the scene. I’m sure there’s a background report on me around here somewhere.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Care to deny it.”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. Anyway, if you’ve read the material, you’ll realize that Limelight’s primary concern was the bottom line.”
“Isn’t that true of most businesses?”
“Most, but not all. Unfortunately Dad’s PR firm was rapidly going down the tubes through a series of unfortunate incidents. We needed a big client and we needed one badly. It was an all-or-nothing situation.”
“Did you find your big client?”
“Oh, yes. We found him. A gentleman by the name of Mathias Blackstone.” She slanted him a mocking look. “Ever hear of him?”
Raven swore beneath his breath. “Bad choice.”
“Actually it was an excellent choice. At least in the long run. The bad choices were all on our part.”
“How so?”
“We soon discovered that it wasn’t Limelight that interested Mathias.”
The breath sighed from Raven’s lungs. “Jacq.”
“Got it in one.” J.J. lifted her glass again, taking a deeper swallow this time. “It didn’t take long for Dad to figure out what Mathias wanted. And he decided to get it for him, regardless of the cost.”
“And Jacq?”
JJ.’s laugh scraped out. “Jacq didn’t have a clue. You see, she was like Mom. Sweet natured. A dreamer. Loving and giving. Whereas I... I took after Dad. Business at all cost.”
“You might think that, but—”
She cut him off. “Stop fooling yourself, Raven. I was every bit as ruthless as Dad.” She held up her hand when he would have protested. “Wait. You haven’t heard the best part, yet.”
“Go on,” he prompted warily.
“When Jacq responded with less than acceptable alacrity to Dad’s matchmaking attempts, we were given new orders.”
“Which were?”
“To research our dear sister and find a weakness. Any weakness that we could take advantage of.”
His mouth tightened. “And she had one?”
“Oh, yes.” J.J. laughed at the irony. “We discovered that our dear sister was none other than the famous Jack Rabbitt, a deep dark secret she’d successfully kept from her millions of adoring fans. Here she’d been working all these years, right beneath our collective noses and none of us realized what she’d been up to. Hell, none of us cared. She kept herself closeted away in her little bungalow doing who-knew-what, while we played at being a big, fancy PR firm.”
“What happened when you discovered her identity?”
“Don’t you know? Haven’t you guessed?”
“You threatened to expose her,” he said flatly.
“Right again.” J.J.’s chin quivered and she fought to hide it from him. After all, she wasn’t a sensitive woman, not like Jacq. Remorse and guilt and pain should be beyond her. Too bad they weren’t. “I told my dear sister that if she didn’t make nice with Blackstone, Dad would issue a press release exposing her identity.”
“Told her?” he asked shrewdly. “Or warned her?”
“Does it matter?”
“I think so.”
“Well, you’re wrong. You see, I was the practical one. The pragmatic one. And being practical meant saving my father’s business at any cost. Even if it meant sacrificing my sister right along with my own selfrespect.” Her voice dropped to a husky whisper. “See? I wasn’t kidding when I said I knew all about dishonor.”
He didn’t comment on that. Instead he asked, “Did she agree to be nice to Blackstone?”
“Of course not. Jacq has ethics. On the other hand, my father can’t even spell the word.”
“But it worked out in the end. Jacq married Blackstone. And you went to work for him.”
“Only because I couldn’t continue with Limelight after that incident. I couldn’t bear who I’d become. And Mathias offered me a chance to escape, to redeem myself.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Don’t you understand? I’m not a dreamer, Raven. I just wish I was. I wish I could be like my mother and Jacq. Because they look out at an ordinary, dreary world and make it magical. They take a black-and-white existence and give it color. Jacq made me a fairy, not because I am one, but because I’m not.”
“You’re wrong, sweetheart,” he said gently. “She made you a fairy because she knew that deep inside that’s what you are. She made you a fairy to help you break free from the pragmatic shell that had entrapped you.”
Tears collected in her eyes. “You’re forgetting. Fairies aren’t real.”
“Then let me give you something that is.”
He gathered her close, each caress filled with love and warmth and compassion. Where before she’d been the one to offer a healing touch, this time she turned to him, allowing his tenderness to fill her, to wash away the months of guilt and pain. They came together again, the waves of passion rocking them harder than before, more fiercely. But this time, something had changed. J.J. felt a cleansing of her spirit in the joining, knew a freedom she hadn’t experienced before.
This time, she soared.
And Raven watched, the transformation taking his breath away. So. The fairy had finally escaped. She’d spread her wings and exploded in a dazzling arc toward the stars. In her passion, J.J. had learned how to ride naked on a butterfly. He smiled, knowing she’d fly long and hard and bright. Silently he bent and caught her mouth one last time—a swift, passionate kiss to speed his fairy lady on her way.
She was free. Free at last.
Raven abruptly awoke. Rolling over, he found his daughter hovering nearby. Her expression set off warning bells. “What are you doing, River?” He raised up on one elbow, relieved to discover that J.J. had flipped the comforter over him when she’d gone to shower. Why the hell hadn’t Gem warned him that his daughter was on the move? “What do you have behind your back?”
Guilt blanketed River’s face. Slowly she brought her hands into the open. She held a pair of scissors in one...and a lock of his hair in the other. “Don’t be mad, Daddy.”
“You cut my hair?” he asked in disbelief, lifting a hand to his nape. “Why would you do that?”
J.J. appeared in the doorway to his bedroom, hastily slipping the pearl buttons of her cashmere sweater through the holes. “Was it for the locket, sweetie?” she asked. “Did you want to put some of your dad’s hair in there with mine?”
Eyes downcast, River nodded.
“Is that right?” he demanded of his daughter.
“Yes, Daddy.”
He mulled that over for a moment. “Then why are you wearing your coat?”
Still she wouldn’t look at him. She dug the toe of her shoe into the plush carpet. “I was going outside.”
“Alone? Why would you do that when you know it’s against the rules?” It was clear she didn’t want to answer and his mouth tightened. “Answer me, please.”
“I have to find the dragon,” she whispered.
“What” He wrapped the blanket around his waist and stood. Crossing the room, he stooped beside his daughter. “What dragon?”
Her chin wobbled. “The one in my Jack Rabbitt book.”
He thrust a hand through his hair, making an impatient sound. Tension ridged his shoulders. “How many times do I have to tell you there’s no such thing? It’s all make-believe. There are no fairies, no pixies and there sure as hell aren’t any dragons.”
“Yes, Daddy!” River declared passionately. “There are. I know it.”
J.
J. approached. “Why did you want to find the dragon, honey?” She glanced at Raven. “It must be serious for her to be willing to brave all that snow, not to mention risk punishment for breaking house rules.”
The wobble in River’s chin grew more pronounced. “If I take Nemesis my gifts, he’ll give me a wish.”
Raven swore beneath his breath. “Not another wish. This has gotten totally out of hand.” He switched his gaze to J.J. Where once passion had raged in his dark eyes, now anger glittered there. “This is what I get.for agreeing to this wish nonsense. I should have nipped it in the bud a week ago.”
She didn’t argue the point, which was a smart move. If she’d uttered one word in his daughter’s defense, he’d have lost it, for sure. “Are you talking about the book I gave you?” she asked River.
“Yes. It says that if I give Nemesis seven gifts he’ll give me a wish.”
“That isn’t going to happen,” Raven interrupted.
The tears came then. “Please, Daddy. I need to find the dragon.”
“There’s no such things as dragons,” he said gently. Adamantly.
River shook her head, her breath coming in little hiccuping sobs. “I found all the gifts. Your hair was the last one. I thought of it last night. Now I have to give them to Nemesis. Then I’ll get my wish. I have to, Daddy. Before Justice leaves.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t get what you want by wishing. You have to work for it.”
“Gem said I could!”
“Here we go again,” J.J. muttered. “I told you that computer had a loose circuit.”
Raven ground his teeth. “Now what are you talking about? What did Gem say? Would somebody tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Gem said if I got the gifts and found Nemesis I could get my wish. Daddy, please!”
“Your computer is also the one that told her that birthday wishes always come true,” JJ. informed him, folding her arms across her chest.
“I don’t believe this. I’ve got a fairy pretending to be my daughter’s mother. A daughter cutting off people’s hair to give to dragons. And a computer who thinks birthday wishes come true. Has everyone around here lost their collective minds?”
The Miracle Wife (Harlequin Romance) Page 14