by Alta Hensley
“A surprise, what?” I asked with excitement.
“Get up, and get ready and you’ll see,” Caine answered. He softly ran his fingers through my hair before simply stating, “I love you.”
I tried to get ready as quickly as I could. I absolutely loved surprises. Obviously Caine had something in mind to do today. The weather was lovely outside, so I was able to put on a nice summer dress. Caine loved when I wore dresses, stating it was because he had easier access. I brushed my hair leaving it long like Caine liked as well. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror and felt pretty. Caine had a way of making me feel beautiful. Ever since being with Caine, my self esteem had grown leaps and bounds. He did wonders for my ego. He allowed me to feel confident about my womanly curves, comfortable with my natural beauty. The hips I so often detested now looked voluptuous. Every part of my body now seemed sensual and desirable.
I walked into the kitchen to find Caine finishing up the last details of breakfast. He had made a fruit salad and blueberry muffins. The table was already set and there were flowers in a vase in the center. The sliding glass door was open letting in the warm fresh air, and I could hear the birds chirping outside. Everything seemed so romantic, so special, like a love story.
“My, my, Caine, I never knew you could be so romantic. A girl could get used to this type of treatment,” I lovingly teased as I walked over to kiss him on the cheek.
“You deserve nothing but the best.” He took a step back so he could take a full look at me. “You are the most beautiful woman on this planet! Look at you! I’ve never been so blown away by someone as I am with you,” Caine exclaimed.
I blushed and made my way to the table. Caine followed with the rest of breakfast and sat across from me. He raised a champagne glass filled with mimosa and silently toasted with mine.
I took a bite of the muffin. “Mmmm this is good! You’re quite the baker.”
Caine laughed before he admitted, “It’s from a box.”
“Well I like it anyway. Thank you for going through so much effort. I love you, Caine.”
“I love you, too, Neely.”
We sat and ate in silence for awhile, just enjoying being in each other’s presence and taking in the wonderful morning. The breakfast, the morning and the man was perfect.
Caine was the first to talk. “Crazy party, huh? I could have killed Sara for what she did to you last night.” His eyes seemed to darken with the memories.
“I never liked her, but I never thought she was a psycho. I should have kicked her ass… I mean her butt.” I smiled innocently at Caine’s warning look.
“No you shouldn’t have. Since she runs in the same circle as we do, it’s likely you’ll see her again. I don’t want you fighting with her. I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt,” Caine instructed.
“Who says she would win. Just so you know…”
“Neely…,” Caine warned.
“All right, I’ll steer clear of Ms. Looney,” I conceded.
“Thank you. Besides, I don’t think she’ll be approaching you again after Travis is done with her. I know Travis, and he doesn’t tolerate anything like what happened last night. You think I’m strict? I’m not nearly as tough as Travis.”
“I was shocked he spanked her in front of everyone,” I admitted.
“Well he didn’t spank her in front of everyone, he was getting her attention. No doubt a very severe spanking followed, but he had to stop her craziness,” Caine informed.
“But it was still in front of everyone. I would have been humiliated.”
Caine reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “I wouldn’t spank you in public if you’re worried about that.”
“You wouldn’t?” I questioned.
“No, I wouldn’t. Even though most of our friends know about our lifestyle, I still think it’s private. I would give you a warning look, or I might whisper in your ear as I explained before. Worst case scenario is I take you some place more private, which is what Travis had attempted to do. But I would never cause embarrassment to you. I want you to always trust that,” Caine explained as he rubbed his thumb on the top of my hand.
I nodded my understanding. “Do you think Travis was wrong for doing so to Sara?”
“Not last night. We were at a party where Domestic Discipline is practiced or understood by most. So it wasn’t out of the ordinary. None of us who spank were surprised. She deserved a lot more than just a couple of warning swats. But if they were in public or some other party that no one knew of our beliefs, then yes, he would have been wrong,” Caine answered before finishing the last bite of his breakfast.
“Would you have spanked Sara if Travis hadn’t stepped in?” I asked, afraid of the answer. I hated the idea of Caine spanking anyone but me.
“No. I wouldn’t have. I only spank you now.” He winked and continued, “Maybe Coley, but the spanking is entirely different.”
I let out the breath I was holding; happy to hear Caine wouldn’t spank anyone else. It was silly to put spanking someone else in the same category as cheating, but it was so intimate and personal. I decided I had enough of speaking about Sara and decided to change the subject.
“It seemed Matt and Kendall had something going on last night. Do you think the two of them could become an item?” I asked, redirecting the course of our conversation.
“I suppose,” Caine grunted. He got up and cleared the dishes from the table, obviously unhappy with the idea.
“Is there some reason why that bothers you?” I asked. I was slightly annoyed. Kendall had her problems, but she was a really great person who had a lot to offer. “I know you don’t like Kendall but…”
Caine interrupted with, “It’s not that I don’t like Kendall. I do. I think she’s trouble with a capital T, but I do see the good side of her too.”
“Then why do you seem irritated with the idea of them together?”
Caine came back to the table and sat down. He smiled and reached across the table for my hands. “I just worry it would be a really hard battle for the both of them. Matt would be spanking nonstop with that girl. I worry for his hand,” Caine teased.
“Maybe it’s just what Kendall needs. Someone to give her guidance and structure, along with love,” I whimsically suggested.
“Maybe, I can see Matt cares about her a lot. I think he’s not sure if he can deal with her unstable behavior. I know I sure as hell couldn’t.”
Caine stood up and lifted me out of my chair and hugged me tight to his chest. “All I do know is I am so lucky to have you.” He lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. “Get your shoes on, sweetheart. I have something to show you; your surprise.”
The whole way in the truck I kept pestering Caine to tell me where we were going. He would simply smile and lightly pat my knee, not giving in to my onslaught of questions. We had been driving for quite some time along a beautiful curving road. The trees were surrounding us from all sides. They were creating a tunnel of trees, with the clear blue sky peaking between the leaves. I stared into the dense forest taking the time to reflect. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of love and passion. It seemed so obvious now that Caine and I always loved each other, that we always belonged in each others’ life. Everything I was searching for and craved had been right under my nose the whole time. Was it possible that I had finally found happiness for good?
I was in such deep thought I didn’t realize that Caine pulled over on to the side of the road. I turned to look at Caine, about to ask why he stopped, when I saw that he was staring straight ahead. His jovial mood was replaced with seriousness and even sadness. I followed his gaze to two crosses made out of wood propped up against a tree overlooking a cliff. I instantly realized where we were. He drove me to the spot that his parents had driven off the road and died.
“Caine?” I asked, unsure of what more to say.
He turned to me and stared for a few moments. His eyes showed such sorrow and pain. He gave a small reassuring smile, and came a
round the truck to let me out. He grabbed my hand and led me over to the tree.
“I haven’t been to this spot in a very long time. But I wanted to take you here, so we could be close to them. When I come here, I feel them near.” Caine wrapped his arms around me. “I wanted them to be near us today.”
I stared out into the canyon below and took in the beauty. The view from where the crosses stood was breathtaking. There was something magical about a spot despite that it caused such misery years ago. The trees were so full of life. The small creek far below glistened, and the expanse of open air seemed all powerful.
Caine kissed my neck softly before speaking. “My parents had a love I envied. They seemed so happy and so deeply in love. I have always been comforted knowing that they died together. That their love can continue on in all of eternity. I can feel the love when I stand here.” Caine paused and took a few deep breaths before continuing. “I wanted to feel that same intensity with someone; the same love they had. I searched and struggled to obtain what came so easy for them. I wanted so desperately to have what they shared.”
Caine turned me gently so I was facing him. He lowered his lips, softly pressing them to mine. He pulled away and stared deep into my eyes.
“Neely, I love you. I love you more than I imagined possible. When I’m with you I feel a love even stronger than the one I feel standing before their crosses. I finally have found what I longed for. I found you. You, who had been right in front of me the entire time, I was just too blind to see it. But I see it now. I feel it now,” Caine passionately declared.
Caine stared at me for a few moments and then lowered himself onto one knee. He pulled a ring box from his pocket and placed the ring onto my finger. “Neely, I love you more than anything, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life. Will you marry me?”
I stood in disbelief for a few moments as I looked into Caine’s eyes. He remained kneeling awaiting my answer. “Yes! Of course I’ll marry you! Oh Caine, I love you so much!” I squealed.
Caine stood up and placed the most passionate kiss of my life on my lips. His tongue danced with mine, and our breaths intertwined. He held me so tight and with so much emotion, I could hardly breathe.
“I swear I’ll make you happy. I swear I’ll make you the happiest wife there is,” Caine promised.
I pulled away so I could look at the ring. It was gorgeous! And it was huge! “Caine, the ring is so pretty, and the diamond is gigantic! You really didn’t need to…”
Caine interrupted. “I want there to be no question in anyone’s mind that you are taken. You are mine!”
“Yes, yes! I’m yours, Caine, forever. I promise I will be the best wife I can. I promise I will do everything to make you happy.” I paused to regain my composure. “Thank you for taking me here. It means the world that you would share this place with me.”
Caine kissed me softly on the cheek. “Let’s get going. We have one more stop to make.”
We were driving through a lovely neighborhood when he pulled up at a house. The house was painted a soft yellow with white trim. The manicured lawn had a white picket fence encasing the house. There were perfectly pruned pink and yellow rose bushes under the white shutter windows. The house looked like it came right out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine.
“Who lives here? Who are we visiting?” I asked in confusion.
“I’m not telling you yet. It’s a surprise,” Caine teased as he got out of the truck and walked around to open my door.
“Did I meet whoever lives here last night?” I asked. I was still nervous about meeting all of his friends.
Caine reached for my hand and led me to the front door without answering my question. When he reached the front door, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. Instead of knocking, he inserted the key and opened the door. Before I could protest, he softly pulled me inside. I looked around cautiously and noticed the house was completely empty.
I looked around again at the empty house and asked, “Why are we in a vacant house?”
Caine smiled and took both of my hands into his. “It’s ours. I bought it so we could have a house that is one hundred percent ours. Not my house you moved into, but a brand new house that is only filled with our memories.”
I was speechless. He bought us a house! He bought this picture perfect house for us! I didn’t even know what to say or what to do. I just stood in place, stunned with the realization I was inside my new home.
“I hope you like it, baby. I promise the only decision I make is the house, but you can decorate it however you choose. You can do whatever you want to make it ours. Do you like it?” Caine asked nervously.
I wrapped my arms around Caine’s neck and looked into his eyes. “I love it! I love you! I love everything!”
“Come on, let me show you around,” Caine said as he grabbed me by the hand to lead me through the house.
He walked me through the house showing me all of the rooms. He walked into one room in particular, stopped and faced me with a smile.
“I was thinking about this room for the nursery,” Caine suggested with a huge grin.
I opened my mouth in shock. “What? A nursery, we aren’t even married yet and you are thinking about children!” I teased.
Caine laughed. “When I know what I want, I don’t like to wait,” Caine explained.
I circled around the room taking in the space. “It’ll be perfect. The whole house is perfect!” I gushed.
“I can’t wait to start our life together and make a family,” Caine confessed.
I smiled and put my hands on my hips. “Well you have to marry me first, before any baby-making happens,” I teased lovingly.
Caine approached me and grabbed both of my hands into his. “I agree. Wedding first… but we can practice, right?” he flirted.
Caine lifted me off of my feet and spun me around. “I was thinking we wouldn’t tell anyone our news until we have an engagement party to announce it,” Caine suggested.
“Oh I love that idea! Then we don’t have to worry about who to tell first, or if we forgot anyone.” I agreed.
Caine raised one eyebrow. “Can you keep a secret?” Caine asked suspiciously.
I giggled. “Yes, I promise I can stay quiet until the party.”
Caine smiled. “You better, or you won’t be sitting for a week!” Caine warned, trying not to show his smile.
“I can’t wait to tell everyone! Can we have the party soon?” I begged.
Caine nodded. “This upcoming weekend soon enough?”
“Yes! I love you so much!” I almost shouted.
Caine grabbed my head and softly pulled me into an embrace. I could hear his heart beat against his chest. We stayed like that for awhile. We took the time to just let everything sink in. I closed my eyes and prayed that I could do it right this time. I prayed that I could marry Caine and make him happy, that I could feel this content forever. Caine asked me to have trust in him, and I knew that I just needed to let go and have faith. I needed to trust that he would always keep our love strong, and he would fight for what we have. But in the darkest depths of my mind, I still had doubt.
Chapter Eighteen
Today was the day I had been dreading since returning home. Today was the anniversary of my mother’s death. I did so well, for the most part, dealing with her death. But the anniversary of the day she died ripped the band aid right off and reopened the wound. I tried to stay happy. Caine and I were planning our engagement party and planning a move. I tried to remind myself of how joyful this time should be. But the sadness was like a vise on my heart that kept getting tighter and tighter as each day got closer. Today my heart was broken.
I looked around the cemetery, taking in the nice day. It always amazed me how beautiful a graveyard could be. Lush trees were surrounding the grounds. The grass was always a perfect shade of green, and the manicured flowers always so lovely. My mother’s grave was modest, as she requested. And her grave was neglected. I kneeled do
wn and began to pull the weeds and dispose of the dead flowers that had long ago been placed. She made me promise that I wouldn’t visit her grave. She didn’t want me to mourn staring at a piece of concrete. But seeing the lack of attention to her grave site made me feel guilty.
“I can’t let your grave get like this, mama,” I whispered.
I sat back and stared at her name carved into the monument. “I miss you, mama. I wish you were here.” I paused to wipe the dirt off my hands onto my skirt.
“I’m in love, mama. Can you believe it? I’m in love with Caine. And he loves me too. We’re getting married!”
I felt a pang in my heart thinking about the last two days. Knowing this day was coming, made me distant, sad and moody. Caine tried to help. He tried to have me open up to him. Explain what was going on. For some reason I couldn’t. I didn’t want to discuss it with him. I was shutting down. I felt this was something I could deal with on my own. I didn’t want Caine to see me as weak or over emotional. My attempt at keeping my sadness to myself seemed to be getting in the way. Caine was growing frustrated, and I was simply growing numb.
Caine knew me better than anyone. But even he couldn’t break the wall I put up. He loved me, he held me, and he promised he’d always be there for me. But I couldn’t share my pain. I couldn’t tell him that the anniversary of my mother’s death was near. It would have been so simple to just tell him. Allow him to nurture and care for me. I needed it so bad. So why did I refuse? Why did I let myself sink into a deep hole of darkness, not allowing him to help me out?
Last night was the worst. I came home after work to an empty house. I knew Caine was at the station until late, and I just felt angry. On the kitchen table was a single tulip and a written note that read, I Love You. Call me when you get home.
I should have been happy. I should have loved the romantic gesture. But I didn’t feel anything but the deep depression that had finally taken over me.