by A. S. Teague
What I said was true—I had come to terms with the fact that I’d put my life on hold to rescue Abby. But there are still times when the old feelings of bitterness creep back in. And this is becoming more and more frequent the longer she stays gone.
Frowning, Breccan asks, “Okay, so that’s why you were taking care of Connor before. But he wasn’t sick back then, right?”
I shake my head.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought. So, now that his health isn’t great, shouldn’t she be around more?”
His question is exactly what I’ve been asking myself since this whole ordeal began. I don’t have an answer though.
I glance at my shoes. “I haven’t asked her, but I can only assume that she can’t handle it. When our parents died, she disappeared for, like, a month. It’s how she copes, I think.”
Gently, he links his fingers between mine. “But what about how you cope? Who’s there for you?”
Emotion clogs my throat.
Is he offering to be there for me?
Confused by how comforted I am by him in a matter of a couple weeks, I realize I am desperate for his answer to be yes.
“Want to get dinner?” I blurt out, not ready to completely open up to him. I need a diversion before my mouth betrays me and I tell him more than I want.
His face goes blank, and he pulls his hand from mine. A strange sense of loss comes over me when I lose the physical connection, and I begin to backtrack.
“Uh. I mean. Well…” I stumble over my words and become more and more flustered.
“Yeah, dinner sounds good.” He puts me out of my misery. “I know this awesome pizza place. Connor’s gonna love it. They cook the—”
“No. Uhm. I meant without Connor. Just you and me.”
Surprise registers on his face, but he doesn’t say anything for what feels like an eternity. “Oh! You mean, like, a date?” he asks hesitantly.
“Yeah. Usually, when two people go out to dinner alone, that’s what it’s called. You have been on one before, right?” I tease. Meanwhile, my inside are being eaten by nerves.
Please say yes. Please say yes.
Or no would even be fine at this point.
Just say something!
His knee begins bouncing up and down before he clears his throat. “Actually, no. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a real date before.”
I laugh before realizing he’s serious.
My mouth falls open. “Seriously? Never? What do you do then? I’ve seen you with women in the tabloids.”
His cuts his gaze towards Haley, and I instantly regret my question.
“Never mind. Just forget I said anything.”
I begin making up excuses as to why we have to leave if he says no. While it would totally bum Connor out to cut his day with the swimsuit model short, there’s no way I could continue to sit here with Breccan if—when—he turns me down.
Pulling at the collar of his shirt, he finally gives me an answer. “Yeah.” He grins at me. “Dinner sounds great, actually. When’s Abby supposed to be home?”
I fight the urge to jump from my chair in victory and barely manage not to squeal. Biting my bottom lip, I pull my phone out to check Abby’s itinerary and nearly die with excitement when I see that she’s due back tonight.
I glance up and notice that he’s watching me, his eyes glued to my teeth chewing on my bottom lip. As my tongue darts out to dampen my lips, his nostrils flare, and for a moment, it feels as though all the oxygen has been sucked from the room.
Riding the high of knowing I’ve turned him on, I reply breathily, “Looks like she’s scheduled to land later tonight, actually.” Reluctantly, I look away from his face to check the calendar.
She doesn’t have another assignment for at least two weeks. I relay this to him and make a mental note to e-mail Abby and threaten her life if she takes anything last minute.
“What about tomorrow night?” he asks, surprising me.
Nodding entirely too quickly, I say, “Okay. That works for me. I’ll let Abby know so she doesn’t make any plans.” My mind is reeling. I just asked him out. And he said yes!
“I’ll pick you up in Daphne, then.”
I giggle at the silly nickname for his car.
“How does six sound?”
It sounds like I’ve got a freaking date with Breccan Carlisle!
“Perfect.” I smile.
It wasn’t a lie when I told Sidney that I’ve never been on a date before. Even in high school, I never went out with just one girl. It was always Tripp, Reb, and me going out in a group setting. I’d never met a girl I was interested in for more than just a night in bed. So, when Sid asked me out, I made a complete ass of myself, sputtering and tripping over words.
I couldn’t tell her that I hadn’t called because I was nervous. That kiss at the game was incredible and I was jonesin’ for more, but knowing myself pretty damn well after twenty-six years, I knew I’d somehow end up screwing it up by taking her to bed. I wanted more than just a quick fuck with her.
I found myself drawn to Sidney the person, not just Sidney the pussy. Though I was definitely excited at the prospect of getting to know that too. But, more than that, I was intrigued by how she didn’t seem interested in my fame. She didn’t seem to care about the things I could do for her and Connor. It had been a long time since a woman wanted to have a conversation with me. Hell, my own mother didn’t care enough to call and talk.
It isn’t long after I told Tripp about my date that my doorbell rings only a second before Rebecca waltzes in, a huge smile on her face.
“My boy’s in loooooove,” she sings, her arms thrown out to the side.
Laughter erupts from the couch, and I level Tripp with a murderous glare.
“Jesus, Tripp. What did you tell her?” Glaring, I add, “Why did you tell her?” I’m not surprised that Tripp channeled his inner gossip girl and immediately called his sister.
Still chuckling, he threw his hands up in surrender. “Look, dude. You’re the one who’s losing his mind. I just called in for backup.”
Wrapping her arms around my waist, Rebecca peers up. “I think this is great. Tell me all about her.” She releases me and moves to plop down next to her traitor brother. Then she pulls a bottle of wine and a red plastic cup out of her purse.
“Holy shit, Reb. Did you really come with purse wine at”—I glance over at the clock—“Fuck, it’s only eleven fifteen.”
Shrugging, she pops an eyebrow at Tripp while carefully pouring her cup to the brim. “Oh my god, Tripp, you’re right. He has lost his mind.” She looks back at me and tips her head in question. “Since when have you ever frowned upon day-drinking? It’s like you’ve been replaced with a pod person. First, a date. Now, giving me a hard time over a little wine.” She takes a sip of wine before putting her cup on my coffee table and tucking her legs underneath her. “Spill it, Brec.”
Huffing, I decide that the best course of action to get her to shut up is to tell her what she wants to know. I saunter over to the other end of my sectional and flop down. Resting my arm over the back of it, I turn my attention back to Tripp.
“You’re going to pay for this,” I threaten.
If his continued laughter is any indication, he doesn’t care.
“Fine, Rebecca the nosy. What do you want to know?”
Answering exactly as expected, she exaggerates a breathy, “Everything. Tell me everything.”
I spend the next half hour filling them both in on everything that has transpired since the original Make-A-Wish meeting over a month ago. To my surprise, neither of them interrupts me, and when I finally finish, they exchange knowing glances before Rebecca speaks up.
Her eyes wide, she exclaims, “Oh my god. Brec! You are in love.”
Scoffing, I wave her off. “You’ve lost your damn mind, Reb. I’m not in love with Sidney. I barely know her.” I stop talking when she shakes her head at me.
“No. Not with Sidney. At least, not yet. You’
re in love with the kid.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I think about what she’s just said.
Am I in love with the kid?
It’s true that he’s a cool dude. From the time I met him, I knew he was special. And I did keep thinking of reasons to hang out with him. Telling myself that I was just doing it to help out, I open my mouth to deny it, but the words don’t come.
Instead, I hear myself say, “So? He’s a great kid.”
Oh shit! I’ve seriously fallen for a dying kid.
“I got a date to get ready for,” I say, shoving off the couch, desperate to escape this conversation. “You two stick around, but I’m done with the interrogation.” I stalk out of the room with the intention of going to take a shower while Rebecca and Tripp whisper to each other behind me. “Y’all sound like two old ladies in there!” I shout just before I close the bathroom door to the sound of their laughter.
I pull up to Sidney’s house a few minutes before six, and nerves suddenly strike me again.
Get it together you fucking pussy.
After wiping my sweaty palms on my slacks, I fold out of the car and head for the front door. I knock, and what feels like an hour, the door finally opens.
Connor greets me, a stern look on his face. “Breccan.” He formally sticks his hand out.
Confused, I reach out and shake it. “Uh, hey, kid. What’s up?”
Not letting my hand go, he looks at my face and states, “You’re taking my aunt out tonight.”
I’m still standing in the doorway and things are beginning to get really awkward. Connor still hasn’t loosened his grip on my hand, and his face is unreadable. I start to sweat and realize that this is probably the reason I never did the prom thing in high school. His scrutiny feels like the stare of a father who’s just met his daughter’s first love.
“Uh, yeah. I am. That okay?” I ask, at a loss for what else to say.
Finally releasing my hand, he steps back and gestures for me to come inside. Once he’s closed the door behind us, he turns back in my direction and clears his throat. His eyes flash before he drops his voice.
“Don’t make her cry.”
My head snaps back at his quiet demand. “What?”
His face grows more malevolent with every syllable. “Don’t. Make. Her. Cry.”
I start to tell him to drop the attitude only to stop when I finally realize he’s worried about his aunt getting hurt. So I place a hand on his shoulder and give it a firm squeeze. Looking him dead in the eye, I don’t say anything. Just because there are no words doesn’t mean a promise can’t be made—and accepted. After a couple of moments, his face splits into a huge grin and he calls up the stairs.
“Aunt Sid! Brec’s here for you!” He turns back to me, still smiling, and then disappears into the living room, leaving me to wait for Sidney alone.
I catch her movement out of the corner of my eye. Looking up, I’m blindsided by the woman making her way down the stairs.
Sidney’s wearing a red dress that stops mid-thigh. It’s cut high in the front, but as she turns to make her way down the stairs, I’m treated to the view of it dipping low in the back, nearly all the way down to her perfect ass. Her hair is down in soft waves, and my fingers itch to run through her locks. She’s wearing strappy, silver heels that lace up to her ankles. Briefly closing my eyes, I envision her long legs wrapped around my shoulders while she digs those heels into my back.
I promised Connor I wouldn’t make her cry, but I said nothing about making her moan.
I open my eyes again so as not to miss the show of her coming down the stairs.
She’s wearing more makeup than I’ve seen her in before, but even with the mascara and blush, it’s subtle. My mouth is dry when she finally gets to the last step, and I scramble for the right words to say to her. Never in my life have I seen a woman more beautiful than the one standing in front of me.
She pauses in front of me and, peeking up through thick eyelashes, whispers, “You look really handsome.”
My chest puffs up at her compliment, and I lean forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek. Moving my lips over to her ear, I finally find my voice. “You are stunning. I’ve never seen anyone as perfect as you.”
I meant every word. Not accustomed to feeling this kind of reaction to a woman, I become awkward. It’s a new feeling for me, and honestly, it’s unnerving.
Clearing my throat, I hold an arm out. “Shall we?”
She giggles. “We shall.” Looking over her shoulder, she gives a watching Connor an air kiss.
I glance up and find him beaming with pride. After tossing a quick wave in his direction, I usher Sidney out the door.
After allowing her get a few paces ahead of me, I stop and take in the way her ass sways as she walks to my car. The sight requires me to make a few quick adjustments and then hurry to open the door for her.
Even though Tripp aggravated the shit out of me earlier, he was useful. Before leaving, he gave me a few pointers as to what I should do on this date. I don’t make it a habit of admitting my inexperience to anyone, but Tripp is different.
Opening the doors for her were at the top of his list.
Mission accomplished.
Once we are on our way, Sidney turns towards me and eagerly asks, “So, where are we going?”
“Fogo de Chão. Ever been?” I smile proudly.
I spent an hour researching romantic restaurants the night before and finally came up with the Brazilian steakhouse in Buckhead. Since it wasn’t exactly a quiet atmosphere, I reserved an entire room for the two of us.
Judging by the smile on Rebecca’s face, I made a good choice.
Realizing she hasn’t responded, I glance over at her. Sidney’s face is marred by panic.
“Uh, is that okay?” I ask hesitantly.
She stalls for a minute then says, “Well…”
I raise my eyebrows. “Well?”
Turning to face me, she begins twirling her hair around her fingers. I noticed her doing it before whenever she was nervous.
“I’m a vegetarian,” she finally answers.
Fuck.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been there, but I vaguely remember a huge salad bar.
Maybe she’ll just eat that? But what if the sight of meat grosses her out? What if my eating meat turns her off? Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
My mind scrambles to come up with a solution, but Sidney makes a noise that snaps me out of my panic. Turning to look at her, I see that she’s laughing.
Amidst her hysterics, she manages to choke out, “Oh, god. I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. We can go somewhere else. I didn’t know you didn’t eat meat. I should have asked before I made plans.” The last thing I want is for her to feel bad. “What about sushi? Do you like sushi? Do vegetarians eat fish?” My stomach turns at the thought of eating raw fish, but I’m willing to choke some down if it’s something she actually likes.
She’s still laughing when she corrects me. “No. I’m sorry. It wasn’t funny. I mean…it was. Your face. Seriously. I’m sorry.”
I widen my eyes at her. “Uh, what? I don’t know what the hell is going on.”
Her laughter finally fades, and she reaches out to squeeze my leg. “I’m sorry. I was kidding. I’m not a vegetarian. Actually, steak is my favorite. I was just joking. Your face though. I’ll be honest. It was kind of worth it to see the look of panic on your face. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to go to Fogo.”
Relief washes over me, and I can’t even find it in me to be irritated with her. I love a sense of humor, and I’m sure my face was off-the-charts ridiculous.
It isn’t long before we arrive at the restaurant and I begrudgingly hand my keys over to the valet. If my stern lecture to the pimply faced teen embarrasses Sidney, she doesn’t say anything. We’re escorted to the private room, and I’m pleased to see that the flowers I requested are front and center on the table.
She spins around the room, her fac
e lighting up when she realizes we have the entire space to ourselves. My confidence soars.
After walking over to the table, she closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale of the flowers. “A mixed bouquet. My favorite,” she murmurs to herself.
I make a mental note to call the florist and find out what exactly is mixed in there so I can duplicate it—repeatedly.
She leans away from the flowers, and her lips tip up in a breathtaking smile. Her eyes remain closed, and I can’t help but wonder how I ended up in this very moment.
When I was growing up, my dad constantly ran around on my mom. I never once heard him tell her she was beautiful or smart. He wasn’t abusive; he was just distant. My mother knew of my father’s transgressions, but she never did anything about it. She threw herself into charity work, working out at the gym, and appointments on her plastic surgeon’s operating table. They were both too wrapped up in their own lives to give a shit about me. They sure as hell never took the time to tell me that the way they lived wasn’t normal.
It wasn’t until I met Tripp and Reb’s parents that I realized that mine were fucked. Literally and figuratively. The Tolers were the most loving, down-to-earth, generous people I had ever met. The charities my mother worked with didn’t hold a candle to the Tolers.
But even seeing Mr. Toler lavish his wife with affection didn’t change the way I thought relationships worked. I was already too damaged by the upbringing my parents had so kindly given me.
Knowing I could never live the lies my parents did but thinking I would never be good enough for the kind of love the Tolers had, I had long since decided that meaningless one-night stands were all I had to look forward to. And I was okay with that. It’s hard to complain about getting sex any place and time you wanted.
But standing here, watching Sidney take joy in a “mixed bouquet” of flowers, is making me second-guess everything I thought I knew about my lifestyle. Maybe I can have what Tripp’s parents have. But, more than that, maybe that’s exactly what I want.