by D. C. Renee
And then I turned back and I saw their lips moving. They were still a little stiff, but that was progress.
“When was your last date?” Brent asked.
“Now,” I teased.
“I’m serious, Kim. When was the last time you went on a real date?”
“Uh, I don’t remember. It’s been a while.”
“Why?”
“Why haven’t I been on a date in a while?” I asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. Ask the tons of guys who never asked me, I guess.” I laughed it off.
“But you are you,” he pointed out, and I chuckled in response.
“Yes, Brent. That is an astute observation. I am me. I can see that education you are getting is really paying off.”
“Stop being difficult. You are smart and beautiful and easygoing and nice. Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
“I haven’t since Will,” I answered honestly.
“Why?”
“Because he hurt me, and I didn’t want to be hurt again. I was stupid and naïve and look where trusting a cute guy who charmed me got me.”
“Not all guys are like that.”
“I know, but we’re in college. How many of the campus population aren’t like that, really not like that? Or like you and Travis, just wanting to have fun.”
“I guess. But if you tell anyone I said this, I’ll deny it. I think if a guy like me found the right girl, we wouldn’t want to have fun anymore. We’d want to be with that one girl,” he told me.
“I kind of believe that too, but you’d have to allow yourself to get to know a girl for more than one night in order to even get to that point,” I responded.
“I guess you’re right. It just doesn’t seem logical with you. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”
“Thanks, Brent,” I said and reached over to put my hand on his. He looked down at my hand, and I swore he swallowed hard but didn’t move his hand. “I appreciate you always being there for me and trying to make me feel good about myself. But I’m a big girl and I’m fine. When the right guy comes along, he’ll know what to do to get me to open up again. I have to believe that, or I’ll be stuck in a rut. So don’t worry about me.”
“I-” Brent was cut off by a loud laugh, and we both turned to see Abby’s head thrown back and Travis smiling.
“Well, I’ll be damned. You might win this after all,” Brent said; whatever he was going to say before was forgotten. I wondered what he’d wanted to say, but the moment was gone and it didn’t matter.
The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Well, except for Brent and me getting a little drunk, er, a lot drunk, and laughing at every little stupid thing from the bread looking like a cloud, yes, a damn cloud, to Travis and Abby talking and getting along. Something about Travis being a normal human being was seriously funny when we were drunk. I knew I should have been paying a lot more attention to Travis to make sure he was doing okay. But he looked to be holding his own, and my clouded mind didn’t really care at the moment. I was having a grand old time myself. I was going to hate it the next day, but for now, it was awesome. Hanging out with Brent was fun, and after a while, I even forgot it wasn’t a real date because it felt so good to be able to let go like that. And he was sweet and nice, super hot, and smelled like heaven. He even paid for me and escorted me by my arm, making sure I got home safely. It was really nice. I leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek at my door. In my drunken stupor, I probably would have gone for his lips, but I was sane enough to realize that was a no-go. I also had it ingrained in my mind so deeply not to kiss on the first date—leave them wanting more—that even if it were real, it wouldn’t have happened. Thank God for small favors. But even with a cheek peck, I saw Brent touch his cheek as if it was the most reverent thing in the world. Kind of made me feel good until I fell into bed and passed out.
chapter twenty-two
“You looked pretty cozy,” I whispered after I met up with Brent and Travis the next day.
“Why are you whispering?” Travis asked.
“Shh, not so loud,” I responded, lowering my sunglasses and then quickly regretting my decision.
“What’s wrong with her?” Travis asked Brent.
“She might have had a little too much to drink last night.”
“I’d say,” I snorted and then had to clutch my head. “Damn. Brent, I hate you. I blame you.”
“What? Why? What did I do?” he asked.
“You let me drink too much.”
“It’s not like I was all that coherent enough to prevent you from drinking,” he replied.
“Then why the hell don’t you look like you were run over by a freight train, too?”
“Because I weigh like double what you do,” he pointed out.
“Ugh! I hate guys.”
“No, you love us,” Travis chimed in.
“Yeah, yeah, only you two. And Brent is currently on my shit list.”
“You’re kind of cute when you’re all grumpy like this.” Brent laughed.
“You may have just been bumped back to the okay list.”
“Just okay?”
“Yep,” I said and popped the “p.” “Damn, I need to remember my head hurts. Okay, back to the matter at hand.” I turned to Travis. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Are you serious? How was the date? You guys looked okay after a few minutes of weirdness.”
“Well, yeah, I guess. It was weird at first. I didn’t know anything about her, and it’s not as if I was trying to get her back to my place. And the fact that the bet was riding on it was at the front of my mind. And I didn’t have you to tell me how to start.”
“So then how did it start?”
“It was actually thanks to Abby. She pretty much stated the obvious.”
“Which was?”
“That it was starting to be awkward and a shitty first date.”
“No way!”
“Yes, way.” He laughed. “Who says that anymore? Anyway, she actually slapped her hand over her mouth after that as if she couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud. But it totally broke the tension.”
“Good!” I clapped, completely forgetting my headache or, really, just not caring. This was great news.
“So what did you guys talk about?”
“A lot of stuff, but nothing really all that important.”
“Like?” I asked.
“What in the hell is this? An interrogation?” Travis questioned.
“I’m a girl! I want details.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not a girl. I don’t do details.”
“Ugh! Just give me the highlights at least. Please, pretty please,” I begged and batted my eyelashes.
“That shit doesn’t work on me.” He chuckled.
I kept batting my eyelashes. “Fine.” And he said it didn’t work on him. Ha!
“School, family, movies, I guess the usual ‘get to know you’ type topics.”
“Perfect! And?”
“And …”
“Do not keep me in suspense,” I practically yelled.
“Well …”
“Dammit, Trav, spill!”
“She said she had a good time and when I asked if she’d go out with me again, she said yes.”
“YES!” I yelled, squealed, and jumped up and down. The pounding in my head didn’t matter. “We won! We won!” I chanted and then jumped into Travis’ arms. He was laughing as he wrapped his arms around me and stumbled from the force of my jump.
“Settle down there, sparky.” He chuckled.
I let him go. “I get Jimmy Choos! I get Jimmy Choos!”
“Like you wouldn’t have bought them regardless,” Brent added. He didn’t look all that upset at losing.
“As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have. As much as I want them, I technically don’t need to spend that much on a pair of shoes, but this is my excuse.”
“Not a gold digger, eh?” Brent smirked.
> “Nope! Just a happy camper.”
“We aren’t in the 90s. No one says things like that anymore,” Travis said.
“I do!” I cried, deliriously happy.
“And that’s why we’re your friends,” he retorted, but there was a smile on his face.
“So that means you’re helping me with my bike,” Travis beamed at Brent.
“I would have helped you anyway.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Whatever.”
“Ha, sore loser.” I giggled and poked Brent in the chest. He finally cracked another smile and grabbed my hand before I pushed my finger into his chest again.
“No more poking. I’m happy you’re getting your shoes. Really, I am. Just can’t say I’m not disappointed Trav isn’t training me. But you guys won. Never thought it was going to happen, but fair is fair, I guess.”
“Hell yeah, it is. And what do you mean you never thought it was going to happen?” Travis added.
“So, Trav, when is your next date?” I asked, just remembering about Abby.
“What do you mean?”
“When is your next date? You said you asked her if she’d go out with you.”
“Yeah, Kim, I asked to win this bet.”
“But, but … now she’ll wait for a second date,” I whined, feeling bad for her. It wasn’t because I actually wanted Travis to date her; it was just empathy.
“Nah, I know you’ll kick my ass if I don’t let her know there won’t be a second date, and I will.”
“But you said you liked her,” I retorted.
“When did I say that?” he asked.
“You implied it. Besides, you had fun yesterday. I know you did. I saw it.” I didn’t know why this was so important to me. Maybe it was the fact that if he were dating someone else, then I wouldn’t keep lusting after him. Maybe it was because I felt bad for Abby because, essentially, she was just like me. Or maybe I just wanted to push Travis for whatever reason. I didn’t know, but as I said the words, I realized I was waiting for him to go out with her again.
“Yeah, I had fun. So I admit dating isn’t all that bad, Kim. Happy? See, you won a little something else, too. Lesson learned.”
“So go out with her again!”
“Why?”
“Because you liked her.”
“Obviously not enough. Kim, just drop it, okay? I’m not going on another date. Leave it.”
“But-”
“Not gonna happen, so don’t waste your breath.”
“Ugh! Fine, whatever, but I’m dragging you both with me to pick out shoes.” If he thought I was dropping it, then he had another thing coming. But I was smart enough to know the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere right then. So I did give it up but only temporarily. And then I literally dragged two grumbling boys to help me pick out my winning shoes. Yay!
chapter twenty-three
I found every opportunity I could over the next few days to pester Travis about Abby. I said things like, “Oh, I bet Abby would like this place,” to which he replied, “I bet she would.” Or, “Oh, Trav, look at these pretty flowers. If only you had someone to give them to. I wonder who,” to which he gave some kind of snort and shook his head. I had a few more extremely witty and very subtle comments. Oh, who was I kidding; I was blaring it from the rooftops that Travis should date Abby again. But every time I told him, he brushed me off, or wouldn’t listen, or just reminded me that he wasn’t interested.
I ended up volunteering to go for a run with Travis a few days later. Yes, I freaking volunteered; that was how badly I wanted Travis to date Abby. I woke up early. Gah! And I tried desperately to run. I kept up with Travis for almost a whole mile. Damn! I was getting good. But with about a quarter of a mile left, my not-so-energetic side kicked in and I found myself bending over trying to catch my breath and holding my side.
It had taken Travis a few more feet before he realized I wasn’t next to him, and he jogged back laughing.
“Seriously?” He kept laughing.
“It’s this stupid cramp.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure that’s what made you stop.” He smirked.
“Oh, you, shut up,” I snapped and took the opportunity to look up at him through my eyelashes while I was still bent over. He hadn’t even broken a sweat yet, but his hair was sticking up from the wind, his face shone with the early morning light, and the smile on his face was genuine amusement. He was truly amazing to look at.
“Tell me why you won’t go out with Abby again,” I blurted out.
“God, Kim, just drop it already,” he whined.
“I can’t!” I stood up straighter and looked him in the eye.
“For the love of God, why not?” he asked, clearly frustrated.
“Don’t you for a second think I haven’t noticed that you’ve stopped partying so much. And don’t think I didn’t realize that you haven’t been hooking up with girls for quite some time now. You haven’t even flirted with anyone legitimately for weeks. And this whole bet thing doesn’t count. You barely look at girls. Maybe a glance of appreciation, but I don’t see you eye fucking anyone anymore.” I had noticed that some time before, and I totally liked it, but I honestly didn’t think Travis even realized he had been doing that.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m saying you’re not living up to your man-whoring ways.”
“I don’t do it around you out of respect for you,” he retorted.
“I call bullshit!” I screamed.
“And how the hell would you know what I do when I’m not around you? How the hell would you know if I had some girl up against my bedroom wall last night while she screamed my name as I thrust into her?” He wasn’t yelling, but his voice was raised, and the husky tone actually turned me on a bit.
“Damn you, Trav! That’s fucking bullshit and you and I both know it.”
“It’s-” he started to protest, but I cut him off.
“You’ve changed. Just admit it. Those things don’t interest you right now. Maybe they will again later on—who the fuck knows, but who cares? You aren’t a player right now.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“Why aren’t you banging anything with legs, huh? Why aren’t you in bed with last night’s conquest, huh? I’ll tell you why,” I said without letting him respond. “Because you don’t want that. This bet was about more than just some fun. It got to you. All my stupid lessons got to you. You don’t want a meaningless fuck. You want the real thing. I can see it. Don’t think I don’t know you. You liked flirting with girls without taking them back to your place and forgetting them later. You liked hanging out with someone who was interested in more than what you look like naked. Tell me I’m right.”
“You don’t know shit about me.” His tone said he didn’t like this conversation. Well, too bad. He needed an eye opener – something that friends did for each other, and if the shoe fit …
“I know you are fighting this for some stupid ass reason. You liked Abby—you admitted it yourself. You liked your date with her. She’s nice, and you guys were laughing and having a good time. What in the hell happened? Why won’t you go out with her?”
“Kim, this was all fun and games. Maybe you were a little annoying in your pursuit to try to get me to date Abby, but now this is starting to piss me off.”
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to be happy? Why don’t you want to allow yourself to see where things go with her? It’s not as if you are making a lifelong commitment. Why not just hang out with her and see? You deserve to have someone who wants you for more than just bragging rights.”
“I don’t want to fucking date Abby!” Travis screamed at me and turned, ready to storm off. If there were people around, they would have been getting some free entertainment.
Shit! Maybe I had gone too far. But everything I had told him was true. He had stopped being a player. I had seen a slow change in him for a few weeks, and now, he
was like a different person. I couldn’t figure him out. I knew he liked hanging out with her. Why the hell didn’t he want to keep it going? Maybe he thought he didn’t deserve her? Because he was a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy? Maybe he was right and he just didn’t do that kind of thing around me? No, that was still bullshit. He was different. And if he was insecure and couldn’t see what I saw, I was going to make him. But, first, maybe I should apologize. So I reached him and pulled his arm, forcing him to turn to me.
“Trav, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. I just want you to be happy,” I whispered. He was staring into my eyes. Actually, he was boring a hole into my eyes with his own. They were filled with a myriad of emotions, most I couldn’t pinpoint, but I could see pain. Damn, I didn’t want to hurt him, even though I didn’t know what I did that would cause any pain in the first place. I hadn’t released his arm, and he hadn’t spoken, just kept looking at me.
“I just want you to be with someone who knows or at least wants to know the real you. You deserve that.” He still didn’t speak, and the tension was starting to build. I couldn’t look into his eyes anymore, so I lowered my own. They stopped on his chest, and I could see the rise and fall that meant he was breathing heavily. Crap, I really messed up. But damn if I knew what I had done. I wanted to know what he was thinking, so I started to lift my gaze and I paused briefly at his lips. What? I couldn’t help it. They were luscious, and I was a red-blooded female. When I finally looked him back in the eye, there was a new emotion there—a mix of longing and lust.
I think he mumbled, “Fuck it,” right before his lips crashed into mine. The force of his lips and the fact they were touching mine was shocking at first. I knew I stiffened. But I’d be lying if I said his lips didn’t feel amazing brushing mine, and somehow, I relaxed into his arms that had found their way around me. One minute we were talking—well, I was talking—and the next, I was in heaven. He didn’t stop his assault. No, this wasn’t a sweet kiss; this was full of passion and built-up desire. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, and I parted my lips in surprise. He took this opportunity to coax my lips open as he brushed his tongue lightly along the part. I opened instinctively, and our tongues melted into one. God, at that moment, I felt more wanted and more fire than I had in forever. I knew I moaned into his mouth, his taste and touch reverberating through my entire being. This was the best first kiss ever. Fuck, I didn’t want it to stop. And I could tell Travis didn’t either. And that was what snapped me out of it. This was Travis. This was Travis. He was one of my best friends. He was a player, er, former player. I was just trying to set him up with someone else. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t lose him. And this was definitely going to cause some awkward scenarios between us. I could already see our friendship crashing and burning. I pulled back, even though it pained me to do so.