by D. C. Renee
“Don’t worry, Kim, I got this,” Brent said with a wink as we separated.
Lauren grabbed my arm and pulled me down some hallway as soon as Brent was out of earshot. “How are you so blind?” she practically hissed.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You seriously think he doesn’t like you?”
“I know he doesn’t,” I responded.
“We need to get your head checked. No guy would come and play rescue-date for a girl he doesn’t like.”
“He did it for Travis.”
“And did he stare at you like a blind man seeing light for the first time for Travis too?” she asked mockingly.
“Shh, people can hear you.”
“So?” she retorted. “Stop trying to change the subject. Brent likes you. It’s pretty freaking obvious. And you have liked him since before you guys even became friends.”
“What? No,” I scoffed.
“Oh, yeah?” she asked smugly. “Then why did I know about him even before you guys got close? ‘If it wasn’t for Brent, I wouldn’t understand this crap.’ ‘Off to study with Brent.’ ‘I have to share a joke Brent told me today in class.’” She said all these sentences with a high-pitched voice as if she was mimicking me.
“That’s because we studied a lot together,” I told her.
“Whatever, Kim,” she said. “You have a choice to make here. Travis or Brent.”
“Wait, what?” I screeched. “Brent is off the table,” I told her.
“He’s not, but fine, let’s pretend that he is. But what if he wasn’t?”
“I’m with Travis,” I told her.
“That wasn’t an answer.”
“That’s the only answer you’re getting from me tonight, so shut it, and let’s go check in.”
She dropped it for the moment, but I knew that was only because we had to get a move on.
We ended up mingling a little with the other girls before it was time for the auction. I was so freaking happy for Lauren when the bidding wouldn’t stop. She really needed that confidence booster after Brian. And I was pleasantly surprised at the number of guys bidding for me. But as promised, Brent won me. I knew it was only for his best friend, but it sent a little thrill through me to know I’d be his date for the night.
After the auction, all the ladies were supposed to dance with the men who won them.
“May I have this dance?” Brent asked and made a swoop of his arm as he bowed a little. I giggled and placed my hand in his.
The music started, and although I didn’t recognize the song, I knew it was a slow song. Brent wrapped one arm around my waist and held the other in his hand.
“Thank you for doing this,” I told him as we swayed together. “I know you did it for Travis’ sanity, but it means a lot to me that you were there for me tonight,” I said.
“It wasn’t just for Travis,” Brent admitted. “We haven’t been spending a lot of time together lately, and I missed you. This was for me, too.”
“I missed you, too,” I told him, and his face lit up with a smile as his hand let go of mine and snaked its way onto my waist. My hands found his shoulders, and we rocked back and forth to the music.
I don’t know if it was the lyrics singing, “I’ll be there for you,” or if it was the way Brent’s eyes were captivating mine, or if it was just the mood in the room, but I found myself only seeing Brent, only feeling him. Everyone else faded away as I stared into his eyes. They really were quite striking, deep pools of emotion. I wanted to read them, understand the depth behind them, but I didn’t know how. I just kept looking, feeling his body move effortlessly with mine as he pulled me closer and I rested my head on his chest. I breathed in his scent, and I was lost in the moment.
The spell he’d cast over me was broken almost as quickly as it started. “Song’s over, lovebirds,” Lauren said to my right. “You can stop dancing like you’re making love now.” She tapped me on the ass and then walked away with her date, leaving me in Brent’s arms.
I had pulled back to look at him, but he made no effort to release me. If I didn’t know better, I’d think maybe Lauren was on to something.
“Thank you,” I whispered because I felt like something needed to be said.
“I’ll always be there for you, Kim,” Brent echoed the words of the song we’d just danced to as he lifted his hand from my waist and brushed a strand of my hair away from my face.
I hadn’t even realized how close our faces were, how our lips were just inches apart—ready to touch, to taste, to melt into one—until Brent pulled back suddenly.
“I can’t do this to Travis,” he muttered and then walked away. I stood there for a moment longer, trying to figure out what in the hell just happened.
Lauren walked back over, my saving grace. “Still think he doesn’t like you?” she asked teasingly. “Like I said, Kim. You have a choice.”
“I’m with Travis,” I repeated the same words from before.
“Tell that to your heart,” she responded. I didn’t have an answer. “Come on,” she said after a beat, taking pity on me. “Cool off time in the bathroom,” she told me as she dragged me to the restroom and ordered me to splash some cold water on my face.
“We have a couple of more hours here. Put your big girl panties on, smile that wonderful smile of yours, and pretend like nothing happened. Have fun with your friend Brent, and then we’ll go home and you can spend all night thinking it through.”
“I need to go take care of Travis after this.”
“Then you can spend all of tomorrow thinking this through,” she responded. Notice I didn’t tell her there was nothing to think about?
But she was right about having to spend the rest of the evening doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing – having fun with my friend.
We walked out of the bathroom, and I found Brent waiting for me. Lauren squeezed my arm and headed off.
“Kim, I’m sorry,” he started, but I cut him off.
“Sorry for what?” I asked with the best fake smile I could manage. “Oh no, you are not ditching me,” I told him as if it had just occurred to me that he might be trying to tell me he was heading out.
“Huh?” he asked, clearly confused by the short exchange.
“You’re my date tonight, Brent, so that means you are staying until this is over,” I told him, and although it didn’t help completely, I knew my nonchalance attitude had relieved some of his tension.
I can’t say the rest of the evening wasn’t tense, but it wasn’t all that bad. We laughed, talked, joked, and danced some more, but we stayed away from the slow songs.
When it was over and Brent had walked us home, I changed and headed to Travis’ place with a can of chicken noodle soup and some Nyquil.
To say Travis was happy to see me was an understatement. We didn’t do anything seeing as he was sick like a dog, but we fell asleep in each others’ arms. The problem? I kept imagining I was still in Brent’s arms. Instead, I was with Travis – Brent’s best friend.
chapter thirty
Travis was pretty sick for the next couple of days. Naturally, being the good girlfriend I was, I stayed with him, which meant … you guessed it … I got sick. Travis wanted to repay the favor and stay with me while I got better, but I convinced him that I’d just get him sick again, then he’d get me sick, and the cycle would continue.
I know he felt pretty bad about not being there for me, but in all honesty, I needed some time away from him. Some people liked having someone take care of them when they were sick. I wasn’t one of those people. My whole face felt like it was swollen, I couldn’t breathe easily, and my throat thought it was made of coarse sandpaper. I just wanted to be left alone. Also, when I was with Travis, I tried – and was pretty successful – at pushing any and all thoughts of Brent aside. It was only when I had some “me” time, like when Travis slept or even took a nap, that I thought about Brent, or more specifically, what Lauren had said about Brent’s feel
ings for me.
Now that Travis was all better, all I could think about was feeling like crap and Brent – not together of course. And I might have thought about the fact that the sex gods still hated me. Although, maybe it was a good thing that Travis and I had yet to seal the deal considering my feelings were all over the place and it was unfair to him, Brent, or me. Well … the “unfair to me” part might have been a stretch. I’m pretty sure my girlie parts were saying their lack of use was the unfair part.
“So? What did you decide?” Lauren asked the minute I was back home for more than a couple of minutes.
“Not now,” I whined. “Can’t you see I’m dying?” I asked.
“Oh puh-lease. You have a little cold. Blow your nose and you’ll be fine. So? Brent or Travis? Or maybe a Brent and Travis sandwich?” she asked and wiggled her eyebrows.
I laughed, then I pictured said sandwich, then I threw a pillow over my head and groaned.
Lauren lifted the pillow from my face, pressed her hand to my forehead and announced I didn’t have a fever, which apparently meant she could torture me some more. “If both guys walked up to you right now and asked you to choose, which one would it be?”
“How is that a fair question?” I asked.
“It’s not, but answer it anyway.”
“I can’t answer it, though,” I admitted.
“Why the hell not?” she scoffed. “I can answer that question for you just fine.”
“You don’t even know Travis,” I responded a little louder than I intended to. It didn’t take a genius to know who Lauren had been rooting for. I wasn’t even sure why.
“I didn’t know Brent either until recently, and I still knew he was it for you.”
“You don’t even know if he likes me,” I retorted.
“Really?” she asked and raised her eyebrows, staring at me as if I was crazy.
“I’m with Travis,” I said.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be,” she responded.
“I really like him, Lauren,” I told her. It was true, after all. He was gorgeous to look at, sure, but that wasn’t even why I liked him. He was so sweet; he treated me like I was worth something special. He looked at me like I was a gift to him. His slightly possessive streak made me feel more loved than when he used those words on me, like he was truly afraid of losing me. I had never had someone like that before. And yet … I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I loved him. I mean, I did … just not in that way. “And he loves me,” I added.
“I’m sure he does,” she said sincerely. “You don’t understand what a catch you are. Will really did a number on you, but any guy would be lucky to just have a moment of your time, let alone the honor of loving you. But if he truly loves you, then he’ll want you to be happy, even if it’s not with him.”
“But I am happy with him,” I told her, and I meant it.
“I’m not saying you’re not, but would you be happier with Brent?”
“I … I don’t know,” I admitted, and it hurt to say the words out loud.
“And besides, as his friend, don’t you think he deserves to have someone love him the way he loves you?” she asked, and I nodded in response because I did agree with that.
“So let’s say I break up with him. He’ll be hurt, I might lose him as a friend, and I still can’t be with Brent even if he wanted me.”
“Why not?” she asked like it was the oddest thing I’d ever said.
“Because he’s Travis’ best friend!” I cried. “Forget the fact that it would be incredibly awkward between us all. Forget the fact that even if Brent wanted a relationship with me, which we still don’t know if he does, that he probably wouldn’t pursue anything with me on account of Travis and the “bro code.” But I’m not a “jump from one guy to another” type of girl.”
“It’s not jumping from one guy to another if you’re choosing the one you’re supposed to be with.”
“Your logic is flawed,” I told her.
“And this itty bitty cold is apparently affecting your brain cells. Yeah, sure, it might be strange at first. I won’t deny that. But you can’t live your life around what makes other people uncomfortable. You have to do what’s right for you. And Brent? Kim, he’s right for you.”
“And what about hurting Travis? I really care about him.”
“You think he’d rather you be with him just because you ‘really care about him’?” She said the last part with air quotes.
“Maybe not, but I’m pretty sure he’d rather I not dump him and go after his best friend.”
“So then don’t go attacking Brent right away. Give it some time if you must. When things cool down, I’m sure the universe will align itself, and you two will be in ‘happily ever after’ land together. But at least don’t lead Travis on in the meantime. Let him go so he can get over you and move on.” She paused for only a quick breath before continuing. “Okay, that’s it. That’s all I’ll say for now. Now go take some meds because you look horrible,” she said with a wink. “Love you, Kim. I’m off to class, but call me if you need me,” she said and kissed my cheek before heading out.
Maybe Lauren was right. As much as I liked Travis, and as absolutely happy I was with him, I was constantly feeling guilty about having feelings for Brent. Maybe the right thing to do would be to break up with him?
I’m really not sure how I did it, but I managed to avoid having an internal conversation with myself for the remainder of my sick time. I focused on trying to do schoolwork, while really not being in the mood, and getting better.
After a couple of days and a ton of absolutely adorable text messages from Travis telling me how much he missed me, how he hoped I was feeling better, and how he was seconds away from disobeying my ‘no interaction while I was sick’ rule, I was ready to catch up on my missing school days.
I was heading out the door in true Kim fashion. This meant I was totally oblivious to the world. I’m talking tunnel vision. Like if there was a car vehicle headed straight at me ready to crash into me and send my body flying a dozen feet in the air, I wouldn’t notice it until it was too late. That being said, when I heard, “Kim,” being yelled really loudly somewhere to my left, I yelped – more like screamed really – then dropped everything I was carrying and clutched my chest like I was trying to hold it in place.
“Jesus, Kim, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Brent said as he ran over to me. “I was just trying to get your attention.” He laughed.
“Freaking A, warn a girl next time,” I told him as I calmed my racing heart.
“Technically, I was.” He chuckled. “I called your name like ten times before the last one freaked you out.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled but smiled at the same time. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I was coming to bring you my notes from class,” he told me.
“Oh shit, my stuff,” I said as I realized I had yet to pick up my notebook and pen.
“Here, let me help,” Brent said as we both bent down to grab my things.
In true movie fashion, our hands collided. In true rom-com style, I felt his heart beating in sync with mine as our hands touched, the warmth of his skin heating my own. In true chick-flick style, we had “a moment.” Neither of us moved our hands, but our heads came up. It was like looking in a mirror as I stared into his eyes. All the emotions I felt were written in his features, but I wasn’t even sure which emotions I was feeling. There were too many of them all at once.
I just knew I had an overwhelming desire to lean in and find out what his lips tasted like. I’m pretty sure I licked my own because I saw his eyes dart to my mouth. His lips parted and his breath hitched. I forgot to breathe.
I think I really might have leaned in, or maybe he did because I realized I was balancing on the balls of my feet and his face was suddenly closer. A little more. Just a little more.
“I was hoping I hadn’t missed you.” Ice. Cold. Water. Like an entire bucket was thrown over my head at the sound of Travis’ voi
ce. And guilt. Overwhelming guilt as I jumped shot up as if Brent’s touch had scolded me.
I could tell it took Brent a moment to compose himself as well, but as he grabbed my notebook and pen and stood up slower, he was handling it better than I was.
“What’s going on here?” Travis asked as he walked up to us, looking back and forth between Brent and me.
The weird look he shot Brent didn’t go unnoticed by me, but either Brent didn’t see it or he wasn’t affected by it. “I was just bringing Kim some notes from class. I scared her when I called her name and down went her things.” He said it like “oh, you know her” was supposed to be tacked onto that sentence. Then he chuckled, but it wasn’t lighthearted like his laughter usually was. The moment was tense. At least for me. I’m sure Travis and Brent felt it too, but I found a way to push my unease aside.
“That’s what you get for sneaking up on unsuspecting girls,” I teased, trying to ease the awkwardness. “You’re lucky I don’t carry pepper spray.”
“You’d probably somehow manage to spray yourself,” Brent responded with a genuine chuckle.
“Probably,” I admitted with a laugh. “What are you doing here?” I asked Travis.
“I missed you, so I wanted to see you before you headed to class, but my training ran late. It was a long shot catching you, but I guess I should thank Brent for keeping you here.” I wholeheartedly couldn’t tell if he was being sincere about that last part or if there was some bitterness mixed in. Brent and I weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Sure, my feelings for him were not of the wholesome nature, but it’s not like Travis knew that, so I chose to believe he had meant what he’d said.
Either way, we were all silent for a moment. I looked down at my watch and yelped in surprise at how much time had passed. I had already skipped classes the previous two days. I couldn’t afford to skip anymore. “Oh crap, I gotta run.”
“Walk you to class?” Travis asked.
“Sorry, Trav, but I literally have to run.”