by Sara Marks
“Kitty will be great,” Marie said. “I think she just wants someone to look up to.”
“I can keep her focused and train her to take on membership next year,” Jane offered.
“You guys think we’ll have enough experience leading the sorority to be president and membership VP next year?” Marie asked.
“Of course,” Lizbeth said. “If you can get through this crisis, you can get through anything!”
February
Things began to calm down at the Phi Alpha Pi house in February. Without Mrs. C in the house, there was an odd peace in Lizbeth’s life. The sorority sisters, knowing what had happened with Lydia and Mrs. C, all stepped up to help do their part. Lizbeth often came back to the house just in time for dinner to see her sisters helping the staff set up and clean up the meal. One afternoon she found, in the study room, a chore chart for the sisters in residence. Each was responsible for managing a different aspect of the house, things Mrs. C had previously dealt with. Lizbeth was amused to hear bickering over who would make sure the gardener had everything he needed to take care of the grounds. It made her take a second look at him, a very attractive young man studying landscape architecture and earning money on the side by maintaining the house grounds.
Lizbeth didn’t think about contacting Wil again until she, Jane, Marie, and Kitty all went out for lunch one afternoon for an officers’ meeting. As they spoke about Jorge’s arrest, Lizbeth wondered if Wil and his family were going to get justice for Ginny. She realized she didn’t have his phone number. Ginny and Becca had done all the work organizing the time they spent together in New York City.
“What should we do about Caroline?” Marie asked.
They were going through the list of members who had not been seen since the end of the break.
“I saw Caroline over the break,” Jane said as they sat at lunch.
“I did too,” Lizbeth said.
“In New York?” Jane asked.
“Yes, I think she finally gave up pretending to like me.”
“She was horrible to me. She acted as if seeing me was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She couldn’t get away fast enough.”
“I saw Charlie too,” Lizbeth said.
“Oh, I’m over him now.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You don’t want to know what we talked about?”
“Well, you can tell me that.”
“He wanted to know how you are.”
“What did you say?”
“That he should ask you. Then he wandered around the museum like a child with ADD.”
“He is very curious about the world. It was refreshing because most guys aren’t. What did Caroline say to you?” Jane asked.
“She seemed surprised to see me with Wil.”
“I would have been as well,” Marie said.
Lizbeth looked at Marie and realized that neither Marie nor Kitty knew things had changed with Wil.
“Yes, well, she ignored me and focused on him. I don’t think Wil likes her much anymore,” Lizbeth said.
“I don’t think he ever really did once he realized most girls, even the aggressive ones, aren’t as bitchy as Caroline,” Jane said.
Lizbeth, Marie, and Kitty all looked at Jane in shock.
“Jane, did you just call someone a bitch?” Kitty asked.
“I did.”
“I feel like my little girl is all grown up,” Lizbeth said with a laugh.
“I could say the same about you realizing you are not as perfect as you think you are and letting yourself fall in love,” Jane said.
“I am not in love.”
“Oh, no? Tell me this, if Wil declared his love and kissed you now, would you react the same way?”
“Well, no--I mean, slapping him was excessive and I understand him better now.”
Lizbeth looked at Marie and Kitty, who were still very confused. Lizbeth filled them in.
“See, you love him. The way you talk about him is different now. I suspect you spent a lot of time over the break wanting him to kiss you again,” Jane said.
Lizbeth knew Jane was right. The more she let the idea sit in her head, the more she wanted to cry.
“I don’t think it matters anymore. I haven’t seen him since I left New York.”
“You will find him when it matters,” Kitty said.
“Or, you could ask Becca to get his phone number from his sister,” Marie said.
***
It was late February when Lydia decided to come back to campus to get her things. Lizbeth asked her to spend some time at the house to see the sisters. They had been sending Lydia cards and care packages. She agreed to have dinner with them after her room was cleaned out. Lizbeth and Jane worked with the other sisters to clean up their meeting room for the dinner Lydia agreed to have with her sorority sisters. They felt that Lydia would feel more at ease there than in the dining room.
“Be gentle,” Jane reminded them.
“Can we ask her what happened?” Kitty asked.
All the sisters turned to Lizbeth and gave her their complete attention. Lizbeth couldn’t remember the last time all eyes had been on her. She thought about her answer before she responded.
“Between the trauma and the legal case, I think we should let her tell us what she wants us to know,” Lizbeth finally said.
The kitchen staff had made mac & cheese and fried chicken for dinner. The dinner was exactly what Lizbeth, Jane, and Marie had hoped it would be. Lydia had spent most of the day alone in her old room. When she got down to the meeting room, Lizbeth noticed how small and broken Lydia looked. Gone was the lively girl who always had a bounce in her step and a twinkle in her eye. She walked slowly. She didn’t seem to want to be physically close to people. Her smile seemed forced. The sorority sisters behaved as best they could. A few tried to hug Lydia, but didn’t press when there was resistance. Only Lizbeth got an actual hug.
They sat and ate, telling Lydia about the TV shows they were watching, the movies they had seen, the books they had read, and the music they were listening to. Nobody talked about their holiday breaks, what events and parties Lydia was missing on campus, or the elephant in the room, Mrs. C’s absence.
“Lizbeth, can we talk alone?” Lydia asked privately as they all cleaned up from dinner.
“Sure,” Lizbeth said.
The pair walked outside alone and sat on the back porch. It was a chilly night and there was a space heater on to keep the porch warm. Lizbeth had put on one of her lighter jackets, but Lydia was wearing a large, heavy cardigan. Lizbeth made sure to close the glass doors behind her. Their back porch was used all year, since they had the space heaters.
“I can’t thank you for what you did to help me,” Lydia said with tears in her eyes.
Neither Lydia nor Lizbeth had sat down in the colorful Adirondack chairs they kept on the porch. Instead, Lydia wrapped her arms around Lizbeth in another hug.
“I don’t know how much I really did, but you’re welcome for whatever I was able to do,” Lizbeth said once they had sat down.
“When I called you only acted, you didn’t blame. My parents... they think this is my fault. I expected that judgement from you too, but you never did.”
“I should’ve told you what Jorge was like. I didn’t want to share something I thought was private about someone I didn’t really know.”
“I understand why and you did try very hard to keep me from going on the trip. I wish I’d listened to you.”
“You can’t change the past. You need to focus on how you can get through this.”
Lizbeth heard Lydia laugh quietly.
“You sound like my therapist. She says the same thing,” Lydia said.
“She’s right. You just need to find the way that works for you.”
“With that in mind, I’ve thought long and hard about telling you something. I promised him I wouldn’t say anything about what happened after I called you. I didn’t realize what had been going on outside of my little bubble. I’ve thought a lot about it and my therapist agrees that you need to know.”
Lizbeth was curious and confused.
“Okay, I promise not to tell anyone if that’s what you want,” Lizbeth said.
“No, this isn’t about what happened to me. I’m not ready to talk about that yet. It’s about who helped me escape. It was Wil Darcy. He was there, with his uncle and a private detective they hired. They personally helped the police in Mexico.”
Lizbeth was taken aback.
“Why are you telling me?” she asked.
“I think we all misjudged him, but I think you need to reconsider it more than anyone.”
Lizbeth took a moment to think about this. Wil had been on her mind a lot lately, but she was too busy to reach out and find him. At least, that’s the excuse she told herself.
“How did he help you?” Lizbeth finally asked.
“Wait, before I tell you, are you dating him?”
Lizbeth paused before replying to this.
“No, but I think I’m in love with him,” she said quietly.
“Does he know this?”
“No.”
“You should tell him.”
“Why?”
Lydia looked at her, but Lizbeth had to remember that Lydia didn’t know anything about what had happened over Thanksgiving or the winter break.
“He said he knew Jorge’s habits and favorite places. Wil’s private detective had been trying to find him for a while and I think he was the main reason Jorge was eventually caught. The casino was one of his favorites.” Lydia said.
Lizbeth was confused.
“Did Wil say why he did helped find Jorge?”
“Because he knew what Jorge was like and said nothing to us even though he knew Jorge was hanging around. He told me that Jorge stole his sister’s identity,” Lydia said. “Actually, he had Ginny talk to me on Skype. I like her.”
“I met her over winter break.”
Lizbeth sighed and the pair sat in silence for a little while. Lizbeth was overwhelmed with emotions. She was trying, and failing, to process what Lydia was telling her.
“He made me promise not to tell you,” Lydia said.
“Why?”
“He doesn’t want you to think you owe him. He worships the ground you walk on. He said he wants to fix his mistakes so you know he’s your equal.”
Lizbeth felt the tears fill her eyes and one roll down her cheek. Lydia pulled a pack of tissues out of her sweater pocket and handed one to Lizbeth. Lizbeth wiped away her tears and blew her nose.
“You know, he is kind of a male version of you,” Lydia said.
Lizbeth had to laugh. She seemed to be the only one who saw their differences.
“Male, introvert-me with social anxiety.”
“It was like being with you. I’ve seen you deal with crises. You put aside all anger and judgement and get shit done. Once, last year, I complained and called you a bitch about something. Marie reminded me that bitches get shit done. Wil was like that. I felt like he disliked me and I don’t think this improved his opinion, but it didn’t matter. He took care of me, got me help, and didn’t once tell me it was all my fault or lecture me on how I could have avoided this crisis.”
Lizbeth felt like she was about to cry again, so she changed the subject, ignoring her own advice to her sorority sisters.
“Can I ask you what Mrs. C did in all of this?”
Lydia sighed and took a while to answer. Lizbeth didn’t push.
“I didn’t think she was malicious until they told me that the money was really the sororities. She thought she was helping me get the husband I wanted. That’s all she thought about. Did they really fire her?” Lydia asked.
“There were other issues with her.”
“Was she really overstepping her bounds with us?”
“Well, yes, but she was playing games with the money before Thanksgiving. I wish we had decided to speak to the national office about her after Halloween. Then she would’ve been fired before this started. She disappeared after you called me,” Lizbeth said.
“She wrote me an email and literally called me a slut.”
Lizbeth sat there shocked at how Mrs. C had turned on Lydia so quickly.
“That was unfair, considering that she was encouraging everyone to find husbands and probably sleeping with Jorge herself,” Lizbeth said.
Lydia’s reaction seemed to be a mix of surprise and disgust.
“What are you going to do now?” Lizbeth asked.
“I think I’m going to take the semester off from school and focus on recovering. I can take classes at the local community college until I feel ready to, you know, finish the degree, get a job and get away from my parents. They’re never going to be able to help me and this just made me see that clearly.”
“You know you’re welcome to come visit me, wherever I end up.”
“I know,” Lydia said with a small smile.
March
March on campus that year was beautiful. The weather was oddly but consistently warm enough for the flowers to bloom early in the month. The world turned green one day and suddenly everyone wanted to be outside, enjoying the warm weather. The porch space heaters were put away and the windows were opened to let in the cool night air. The sorority sisters ate meals and studied outside to make the most of the good weather.
Lizbeth’s mood remained wintery. She was focused on so many different things: her thesis, the Paris trip for spring break, graduation, graduate school. She used it all as an excuse to avoid finding Wil and talking to him. She spent most of her time in the sorority house study room or the library, typing away on her laptop and doing research.
“Okay, so, big news,” Kitty said at a Sunday officer’s meeting.
“We won the lottery?” Marie asked.
“No, the guys at Alpha Pi said Wil and Charlie have been showing up to stuff again and will be at the dinner tomorrow.”
Every year the brothers of the fraternity and sisters of Phi Alpha Pi had an annual end-of-year dinner together. It was probably the only formal event the fraternity had. The sisters did all the work to plan it, but they were far more accustomed to planning these types of events. They did it this way to make sure outgoing seniors and officers were celebrated. It was held at the sorority house, and Jane and Kitty had been busy decorating the dining room to make sure it looked classy. They had been meeting with a couple of the fraternity brothers to plan the event.
“How did that come up?” Marie asked when neither Lizbeth nor Jane said anything.
“Oh, I asked if they had seen them. Charlie was fun to have around and Wil was... his own source of entertainment.”
Lizbeth watched Marie roll her eyes.
“We won’t be making fun of Wil,” Lizbeth said. “He doesn’t deserve our derision.”
Her sisters gave her odd looks, but Lizbeth didn’t offer any other information. She had decided not to tell them Lydia’s story.
***
Lizbeth spent the day before the Alpha Pi/Phi Alpha Pi dinner trying on different dresses.
“I’ve never seen you put this much effort into anything related to clothes,” Jane said as Lizbeth tried on a fourth dress.
“I’m the current president, a graduating senior, and want to look pretty.”
“Also, Wil Darcy will be there and you’re anxious about seeing him for the first time since New York.”
Lizbeth rolled her eyes and changed into a fifth dress. She eventually settled on a simple navy dress. Since Lizbeth wasn’t responsible for anything at the dinner, she was looking forward to simply enjoying herself. Ma
rie and Kitty had taken charge and were working very well together. They were a good team, and Lizbeth felt confident that she was leaving the chapter in good hands.
“Lizbeth in a dress!” Kitty said when Lizbeth and Jane came into the dining room. “Wil Darcy look out!”
“This isn’t for him.”
“BULLSHIT!” Marie yelled from across the room.
She was rearranging furniture, trying to squeeze a few more seats into each table to accommodate the large group. Lizbeth could feel a blush spread across her face, so she fussed over little details on a table in an attempt to get rid of her nervous energy.
“You may not have spent all semester ranting about him like you did in the fall, but we all know you’re completely into him,” Kitty said with a smile.
“How are you so calm?” Lizbeth asked Jane.
“I told you, I’m over Charlie.”
“I think that’s bullshit too.”
“Caroline’s already here,” Jane said. “I’m sure she’s working to keep both men away from us.”
Lizbeth was shocked at Jane’s attitude. She didn’t know how to react to this version of Jane.
The dinner was predictable. It was a ceremony that had gone unchanged for generations. They honored the seniors, and gifts were given to those graduating and to officers. Lizbeth gave each of the officers a bangle bracelet with the sorority’s Greek letters on it. The sorority members gave all the officers official sorority pens and business card holders. The seniors were given regalia to wear at graduation. The entire sisterhood had worked together on a quilt for Lizbeth. It was made up of squares of different T-shirts from the sorority. Lizbeth knew something like this was coming. There were usually extra T-shirts in storage after events. Lizbeth recognized a few from memorable events from the past four years. In the center the sorority’s Greek letters had been embroidered onto the quilt. Lizbeth knew Jane had probably done the bulk of that work.