Pam composed her face into a pleasant mask. She would cry later but not now.
Danforth made a steeple of his fingers and pursed his lips. “There are other traits to speak of, however. You possess a strong work ethic, a quality lacking in much of today’s youth. Your impeccable social skills, as well as the ability to work successfully with difficult personalities from a number of ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds…” He stopped and frowned. “You’re looking a bit perplexed, Ms. Abernathy.”
“No, I’m fine, Mr. Danforth. Please continue.”
He settled back in his chair. “And despite the occasional lapses”—at this, his lips twitched—“your judgment is quite sound. And you have not only memorized corporate law well past your training as a paralegal but have absorbed its subtle nuances.” He fixed her with a look that made her gut clench. “Why did you not attend law school? I find it curious that someone as bright as you didn’t further your education.”
What the hell did he think? Full scholarships were hard to come by in a lousy economy; also, she couldn’t remain a student forever. Not everyone was a fucking debutante with boundless opportunities. She bit back the retort, though. No way could someone from his privileged background ever understand the struggles of somebody growing up in a single-parent household.
She answered with all the dignity she could muster. “Money, Mr. Danforth. I had to be practical and find a real job as soon as possible. A liberal arts degree from the community college isn’t worth much these days, but it allowed me to expedite the procuring of my paralegal license.”
His face was impassive. “And character, Ms. Abernathy. You possess not a trace of self-pity; however, you’ve shown a great deal of empathy for others. Stacey, for instance.”
Uh-oh.
“You covered for her after she failed to catch those unforgivable errors in the Wilding document,” he stated.
“I did,” she admitted. No point in lying. As if she could.
“And it’s not the first time either. You’ve mopped up a few of her messes, as well as several from your other coworkers.” He banged the desk with a bony fist, making her jump. “I will not have anyone enabling such incompetence, Ms. Abernathy. Do you understand?”
Oh, holy crap. “Y-yes,” she stuttered.
“Nevertheless,” he said, smoothing back a renegade lank of gray hair that had dared to stray from the crown of his balding head. He made her wait a bit, adjusting his cuff links before speaking again. “You managed to redeem yourself with the stellar work you did on the Wilding case after Stacey pulled the disappearing act.”
Ah yes. How could she forget the evening from hell when he practically chained her to his side and worked her like a draft horse? She remembered crawling into bed past midnight, exhausted and shaking, wondering if she’d chosen the right profession after all.
But she knew then as well as now it was the right choice for her. Danforth had pushed her hard, but in the end, his high standards had produced results. Without question, it was the best work she’d ever done. It made her proud every time she thought of it.
He continued, “So the Wilding case convinced me you were ready to move ahead. That, and the fine job you’ve done since we hired you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Danforth. I appreciate it,” she managed.
“You’ve earned my praise, Ms. Abernathy.” Danforth leaned forward, rubbing his chin. “I have a proposal for you. As of tomorrow, you are promoted as my assistant. You will be working only on the cases I handle. You will deal only with me. Report only to me. Lisa will take your place and serve her time dealing with the gaggle of junior attorneys.”
Proposal? It sounded more like an order. Pam knew she was gaping at him but couldn’t help herself. “Your assistant?” she blurted. “I’m not in trouble?”
He glowered at her over beetled brows. “Apparently not. Is there anything you’ve done that would warrant disciplinary action?”
She thought of her pitiful date with Brian. Probably not. Actually, no. Just another overreaction on her part. She shook her head.
He smile-grimaced again. “Good, then. I will inform Human Resources of the shifts in staff. We will discuss my expectations and complete the necessary paperwork tomorrow. You may take the rest of the day off, Ms. Abernathy. Most of the attorneys and paras are in court today, anyway.”
“All right. But Mr. Danforth?”
“Yes?”
She bit her lip. “How about Stacey?”
“She has been demoted and relocated to the Washington offices. Mrs. Brown is fortunate she wasn’t terminated.”
Pam couldn’t hold back a slight shiver. His cold efficiency both horrified and fascinated her. “Thank you, Mr. Danforth. I’ll do my best. And I look forward to working with you.”
His brows rose at that. “I hope you’ll be singing that tune in the weeks to come. I’m a difficult man to work with, Ms. Abernathy. But I have faith in you. You’re a tough one.” This time, his eyes definitely sparkled. “I shall see you tomorrow, then,” he said.
Thinking he wanted her gone, Pam got up to leave. Danforth stopped her.
“Just a moment. About your education. Mimi Warden happens to head a variety of charities and foundations, and the firm started consulting with her in recent months. Danforth, Dobbs, and Shuttleworth now offers scholarships and other monies to promising young people who demonstrate an interest in careers in law but lack the funds for the required education.”
Pam tried not to gawk at him. Since when did any of these highbrow jet-setters ever deign to notice the struggles of the little people?
He paused, a crafty look on his wrinkled face. “There’s nothing to stop us from recommending someone internally, as long as they live in the community from which the company conducts business. No doubt you will pass the LSAT, so I have recommended you for a scholarship. The funds are more than adequate for law school, and I don’t anticipate the board rejecting my petition. Are you interested?”
Yes. No. It was too much. “May I think about it?” she asked.
Danforth nodded. “Take your time. You have much to ponder. See you in the morning.” And with that, she was dismissed.
* * * *
“Sounds like Danforth was right on the money about Stacey,” Jared said over breakfast an hour later. After wandering the streets for fifteen minutes in a mental fog, Pam had called him from a diner located several blocks from her office. While waiting for him to answer, it struck her he’d been the first one she’d contacted to share the good news. Not her mother.
Jared told her to remain in the diner and order him the steak and eggs, plus a side of pancakes, in twenty minutes. When she spotted his solid presence filling the restaurant’s doorway a half hour later, Pam understood why she’d contacted him first. Her mother had sounded pleased enough, but her tepid response couldn’t compare to Jared’s whoops of joy.
Pam paused at his words, a forkful of omelet poised halfway to her mouth. “Seriously? Don’t you think Danforth was rather harsh with Stacey?”
“No,” Jared replied. He placed his fork down and elaborated. “In fact, I think he went rather easy on her. I would’ve fired her on the spot.”
The blunt statement took her by surprise. “But why? So she made a mistake.” Catching his cynical look, she backpedaled. “Okay, okay, so she’s made several. But how about giving her a verbal warning first?”
“How do you know he hadn’t done it already?”
Good point. “I don’t,” she admitted. “The whole thing just seems so…I don’t know…cold.”
Jared shrugged and resumed eating. “It’s a business, Pam. That’s the way the system works. You have to cut out anyone who messes with the bottom line. I admit it’s harsh, but it’s nothing personal.”
“Tell that to Stacey’s family, who are now relocating to Washington on her pay cut,” she retorted, a bit miffed at his callous assessment.
“That sucks, but Danforth isn’t running a charity. When he hired Stacey,
he expected her to get the job done. She didn’t, so he replaced her with someone who could. You.”
So implacable. “Well, what if I screw up? Shall I look forward to the same treatment?” she countered.
Jared shook his head in exasperation. “First of all, I doubt you’d ever screw up so spectacularly. Not with something so important. And even if you did, you’d own up to it rather than letting your coworkers cope with the fallout while you hide out in the ladies’ room.”
The man had a memory like a steel trap. “I really can’t blame her, Jared. Danforth threw a huge tantrum when he found out. I wanted to hide under my desk…it was that bad.”
“But you didn’t.” Jared leaned closer to emphasize his next point. “Instead, you took action. You sought him out and offered assistance rather than resorting to hand-wringing and histrionics. And despite your trepidations, you jumped right into the fray. It takes guts to do that.”
Pam warmed at the compliment. “I guess so, but I still feel sorry for her.” She sighed, then added, “Not to mention guilty for taking her place. I respect Mr. Danforth but, if you ask me, he’s a heartless son of a bitch. I can’t stand it when guys with money and power stomp on those beneath them. Just beat down the little guy.”
“You’re sounding like your mother again,” Jared retorted. “Danforth did what he had to do. Someone has to dole out the consequences—not only to address someone’s irresponsibility or incompetence, but to send a clear message to everyone else. The guys on top have to make hard choices all the time, even if they don’t want to. Worse, they have to deal with people who criticize and second-guess their decisions.”
He was so adamant it crossed Pam’s mind that, somehow, this discussion was not just about Danforth.
Jared continued. “Think for a minute with your head, not your heart. You told me months ago Wilding Corporation was a hugely important client for your firm. If the document had been unchanged, Danforth, Dobbs, and Shuttleworth’s excellent reputation would’ve suffered. Remember, Stacey’s poor performance affected everyone, including you. Would you prefer Danforth keep her around so she could screw up again and make everyone’s jobs all the more difficult?”
“Well, no…” she started.
“Then I suggest you save your pity for someone who deserves it. By the way, isn’t she the one who spread the vicious gossip about your mother being a feminist wing nut?”
“That was never proven. It could have been anyone.”
Jared grunted. “Right. If I recall, she was your sole confidant when you first started at the firm. Who else would’ve known just enough about your mother to be able to twist the facts?”
He was, as usual, on point. The gossip had died down after Pam stopped confiding in Stacey. Apparently, whoever started the rumors had nothing further to add, so the gossip mill turned its attentions toward more fertile pastures.
Well, as pissy as it made her feel, she had to admit his reasoning had merit. “Okay, I concede some of your points. I just wish the firm wasn’t run like some damned boot camp.” Jared’s eyes narrowed, and she sensed a tiny opening. “Right now, you sounded unforgiving, almost militaristic,” she observed. “Did military school cultivate that unbending attitude?”
Jared’s features settled into hard lines, and if his changed aspect hadn’t snagged her attention, the chill in his eyes would have been sufficient. “No,” he ground out. “I learned it while commanding a platoon and battling insurgents.”
Her appetite now gone, Pamela set her knife and fork aside. “What happened over there? Why did someone as gifted as you leave the military?”
His hooded expression didn’t bode well. “This is not the time or place.”
“Then when? And where? No answer, huh? Typical. If you address these questions at all, I’m sure your responses will be as guarded and evasive as ever. Why don’t you ever talk about it? It was an important part of your life at one time.” She knew she was taking a risk by prodding him but couldn’t seem to stop.
“It’s not something I wish to discuss with you,” he replied, his tone conveying utter finality.
She blinked at his choice of words. “Apparently not. So I suppose we’re back to square one,” she replied.
His face darkened. “And what does that mean?”
“Exactly what you think it means. So much for building intimacy, for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I can hear the barriers going back up as we speak. Remember? Those boundaries you griped about just a couple of days ago?”
“It’s not up for discussion,” he snapped. “Drop it.”
“Real nice,” she countered, allowing a full measure of biting sarcasm to drip from each word. “And how hypocritical of you to demand privacy after you pushed me into talking about my father.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” Jared scoffed. “I’m not in the fucking mood to have you or anyone hold my hand during some caring and sharing session. Your mother’s hippie-dippy upbringing is rearing its ugly head again. Back off.”
The biting words caught Pam unawares and lanced through her with surprising force. She peered into Jared’s stormy face, her heart sinking like a stone. He’d never spoken to her so harshly before. Ever.
She stared down at her plate, not wanting him to read the pain in her eyes. How she hated for anyone to see this side of her—the vulnerable core that bled much too easily. The part she kept hidden behind a toughened exterior, the one she disguised with flippant remarks and cutting rejoinders.
Shaken, she tried making sense of the sudden turn. Failing this, she retreated into quiet reflection. For her, daydreams offered a refuge from life’s bitter pills, yet this time, the memory that came to mind was anything but soothing.
It was at her aunt’s rural home in New Hampshire when she first witnessed the brutal indifference of the universe. That hot summer afternoon remained etched in her memory, although she’d just turned seven when it occurred. Having endured a particularly hot day, she sat reading on the porch steps, listening to the lazy hum of insects and the twitter of songbirds. Soon, the splendor of the day called to her, so she set aside her book to enjoy the sights.
She was too busy admiring the pretty, purple wings of a nearby butterfly to notice the approaching storm. Having never seen anything like it before, she stared after the butterfly, entranced at its ethereal beauty. The sky darkened ominously, and a slight breeze whispered a warning, but still she watched the butterfly’s meandering journey within the garden.
One minute it was dancing in the warm breeze, its fragile wings fluttering among her aunt’s flowers; then in an instant it got caught up in the howling winds of the summer squall. The tiny creature struggled valiantly against the forces of nature for a brief time; then it hit the porch screen and dropped to the ground.
Pam tried reviving it, but after twitching a time or two, it died, its gorgeous violet wings wilting within seconds. Heartbroken, she’d buried it in an elaborate ceremony under her aunt’s lavender patch, refusing to invite her rambunctious cousin, Simon, who would’ve teased her without mercy had he known.
What a silly dreamer she’d been. And still was. Instead of playing safe, she had tried getting closer to this enigmatic man she loved, and had nothing but pain to show for her effort. Like that dumb butterfly, she didn’t have the sense to hide from the storm.
Shaking off the unbidden memory, Pam reminded herself the first cut always hurt the worst. That was the reason why she felt gutted by Jared’s comment. What to do? Her first instinct was to retaliate, but she couldn’t seem to form a stinging comeback.
How humbling to realize she, a woman capable of defending herself against her foes, had been disarmed with such devastating ease by the one she loved.
Why? Because his regard meant too much to her.
Never mind. Self-preservation was one of her strong points—no matter what it cost her.
Pam tucked away the secret part of herself and ignored the ache in her heart. Looking for something to do,
she reached for the water glass with a hand that shook a little. She took a sip through numb lips and wondered how things could go downhill so fast.
“Pamela.” Jared’s voice interrupted her quiet introspection. “Look at me.”
She managed to peer into his dark depths. They now held a look of remorse she didn’t want to see, as it only confirmed his awareness of her frailty. “Yes?” she replied, grateful for the dispassionate tone she managed to produce despite her distress.
“I’m sorry for striking out at you. That comment was uncalled for.” He reached across the table, then lifted her hand to his lips.
Pam tried pulling away, but he held fast. When he rubbed her hand against his cheek, she felt something inside her tremble and crack.
But no. She wouldn’t let him get to her again. Not when he could do so much damage. “Just forget it,” she said, snatching her hand back.
“I didn’t mean it, sugar.”
“Of course you did. But never mind. My fault for asking for more when you weren’t ready to give it.” She stood up. “Well, I’m done,” she said in a chirpy voice, snatching up her coat.
Jared followed suit, tossing a couple of twenties on the table. Before she could sidle past him, he grabbed her elbow and steered her toward the exit. Once outside, Pam turned in the direction of the subway station that led toward home.
Jared tugged her back to face him. “Stop it. You’re coming home with me.”
His imperious tone brooked no nonsense and, despite her inner turmoil, Pam stayed put. “What for? I just got some life-changing news. I need to go home and think.”
He lifted his hand for a taxi. “We need to talk. Now.”
“I have nothing left to say,” she responded, refusing to look at him. “And I think you’ve said enough.”
“No, I haven’t.” The slight catch in his voice caught her attention and her head snapped up. Jared reached over and stroked her cheek. “Give me a chance. It’s time I told you a few things.”
Just then, a cab pulled up to the curb, cutting off any reply. Jared ushered her into the taxi before she could protest. Once inside, Pam stared out the window, trying to lose herself in the controlled chaos that was New York.
Her Secret Dom Page 12