by Ali Parker
“I don’t know...” I didn’t really know what to say to that. I couldn’t bring myself to admit what I might be feeling out loud. I was still too confused. It was too new. Also, a tiny part of me was afraid that if I said it out loud, I’d jinx it.
Thankfully, Angie seemed content to let it go for the moment. Understanding softened her eyes as she reached out to pat my hand. “Anyway, I came because I thought if you’d talked to Noah, you’d have some new designs ready. I’ve been telling the girls at my office all about the ones I’ve seen, and I’d love some more teasers for them.”
“You’re marketing my designs already?” My chin tucked closer to my chest, and my jaw came close to dropping. “Seriously? You’ve only seen my designs once. How are you already marketing them?”
She lifted one shoulder. “I’m good at my job. So, do you have any new ones? I thought you might, considering that Noah asked you to get things together for him to look at.”
“I do.” I jerked my head toward the back. “They’re in the office. I was using Addie’s desk earlier. She’s out running errands today. Want to come see them?”
“Don’t you have to man the front?” She got to her feet, following me when I started heading for the office.
“No, it’s okay. We’ll hear if someone comes in. It’ll only take a few minutes for you to look at my new stuff. There aren’t so many brand-new ones.”
“Are you sure?” She hesitated next to the door leading to the back. “I can wait here if you want to bring them out.”
“There are scraps of my things lying around all over the desk. Besides, I’d like to get your opinion of a few different types of material I’m considering. It will take me longer to gather it all up and bring it out than it will for you to take a quick peek in the office.”
She shrugged. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. We’re not exactly bombarded with customers today, and there’s that bell on the counter they can ring if they come in. Addie told me people just used to call for her before I started here, so the customers know the drill. Now there’s even a bell to ring.”
“Good point.”
We walked to the office, leaving the door open so we’d hear the bell if it rung. I went over to Addie’s desk and turned my sketchbook around so Angie would be able to see the designs without having to squeeze in next to me in the tight space behind the desk.
She took a seat, scooting forward until she was sitting on the edge of the chair before she pulled the book closer to examine the dress on the page open in front of her. “This is interesting. I really like the back, but I’m not sure about that neckline. Where did you get the idea?”
“From one of the horrible women at the event I went to with Noah last weekend.” The style and opulence of the hotel, as well as the old-timey clothing some of the guests wore, had gotten me thinking. “Is it too high in the front?”
She traced her finger across her chest, pursing her lips in thought. “I don’t know. I guess it could work for a more demure look.” Lifting her eyes from the design, she frowned at me. “You never told me the women were horrible. What happened?”
I sighed. Remembering the way they talked about their husbands still made me uncomfortable. “Nothing really happened. I just didn’t like the way they seemed to be with their husbands because they were rich and not because they were in love with them.”
They definitely weren’t in love with their husbands in the same way I was with Noah, but I chose to keep that to myself for now. “I felt like they wouldn’t have been with them if they didn’t have money. It was really sad, actually.”
“So what?” Angie smirked, sarcasm dripping from her tone. “You’re not with Noah for the money? I don’t believe it. Why ever else would you be with him?”
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “Yeah, of course, I’m only using him for his money. I mean, why else would I be with him?”
I couldn’t even get the words out without laughing. They were just too ridiculous.
As I was laughing, I could have sworn I heard my name. I suppressed the giggles to listen more closely. A soft squeak followed by what sounded like the swish of clothing came from outside the door.
I cocked my head, trying to listen to determine if I’d imagined it. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Angie turned the page to look at some more of the new designs. Her laughter had subsided now too. “I didn’t hear anything, but this is gorgeous. Another design inspired by the money-grubbing ladies that I know you’re not a part of?”
I nodded, but I was still trying to listen for more sounds of a customer. “They were awful, but they’re old money, and their clothing shows it somehow. I didn’t hear the bell, but let me go check if there’s a customer waiting. I swear I heard someone.”
“Sure, I’ll be here.” She picked up a piece of the material I was considering and rubbed it between her fingers. “I think this will work perfectly, by the way. I need to get going back to work soon, but I’ll wait for you to finish before I do.”
“Thanks.” Squeezing through the tight gap between the mini-fridge and the desk, I made my way to the front counter.
There was no one there and no new delivery on the counter. Addie had some customers she was so familiar with that if she wasn’t in the front, they’d leave their garments out front with a note.
When I’d first heard the noise, I’d assumed if the bell hadn’t rung then it had to have been one of them dropping something off. It didn’t look like it had been, though.
Checking the rails closest to the door leading to the back, I wondered if someone had perhaps left their delivery hanging there. It didn’t look like there was anything new there either.
I must have imagined it. I shook my head at myself and went back to the office. “Nope. It looks like my imagination was being overactive. I should probably go back to the front anyway, though. Did you get through them all yet?”
“Yes, they’re gorgeous. I’m still not sure about that neckline, but other than that, I think you’re a genius.” She smiled as she got to her feet and walked with me to the front. “Let me know how it went the second you talk to Noah. I know you’re not with him for his money, but if he loans it to you, I just know you’re going to make magic with those designs.”
“You really think so?”
Stopping halfway to the door, she shot me a look with a huge grin on her face. “I don’t think so, I know so. Now go get him, tiger. I need those designs to come to life.”
Chapter 33
Noah
Stupid. Stupider. Noah. I probably had to let someone in the grammar industry know that the superlative form for stupid had changed to my name. What the fuck had I been thinking?
No one reunited with one of their best friends from childhood, who happened to be an ex-girlfriend, over a decade later and expected to pick up where they’d left off. Especially not considering how we’d left it off or what had happened after.
It had been downright idiotic of me to accept that Maggie was the same person she used to be and that our relationship could be as pure as it had been. The historical impurities in it were on me. I took responsibility for those. But now?
Except for that first day when I’d acted like an arrogant ass, I’d given my budding relationship with Maggie everything I had. I’d let her in and been totally honest and open with her.
Sure, we still hadn’t talked about the past, but I really hadn’t thought it was necessary. Maggie didn’t act like she was holding a grudge about it, and it hadn’t come up.
Slamming my front door behind me, I walked into my house and marched to the kitchen. A quick rummage around my fridge revealed one beer, which I uncapped and left the top lying on the counter when I headed outside.
The weather was too cold now to sit out on the deck comfortably, but I didn’t know what the hell else to do with myself. Being inside felt stifling, like the air itself refused to be breathed.
Cool air stung my nostrils wh
en I inhaled deeply, taking a seat on one of the loungers next to my covered pool. My grass, vibrant green in the summer months, had turned a pale shade of brown.
Good. The color in summer is too much like Maggie’s eyes anyway.
I snorted out loud and gave my head a firm shake. I had to stop thinking about her. It was going to take my brain some time to rewire itself not to associate everything with Maggie, but I’d get there.
Thinking back to the conference I’d been to just before she’d come back to town, I wondered if I should call up the twins to come distract me. They didn’t live too far away, and I was sure they’d be up for a repeat performance of that weekend, but the mere thought of them had my balls shriveling up.
I didn’t want to be with anyone other than Maggie. In time, I was sure that would change. It would have to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to give serious consideration to making the call.
What was that old adage? The best way to get over someone is to get on someone else.
I’d always wondered about that one, but as I sat there sipping my beer, I realized just how ridiculous it was. Although they probably don’t mean on the same day as the breakup.
That was the other thing. This didn’t even really count as a breakup. Maggie and I had never discussed what was going on between us, so why did it feel like my heart had been ripped apart by razor-sharp claws?
Relishing the burn of the bubbles when I took a long sip of my beer, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the soft cushion of the lounger. Neither the beer nor a few deep breaths eased the pain in my chest.
This is why I don’t do relationships. Romantic or otherwise, relationships ended up hurting me. The only people I could count on were those in my immediate family. It was sad that I could count them on one hand and still have fingers left, but at least three was better than none.
From now on, I’d just have to remember that. I groaned when I went to take another sip of my beer, only to discover it was empty. Damn it. That went down fast.
As I set it down on the glass-topped table beside me, my phone pinged in my pocket and rang a second later.
There wasn’t really anyone I was in the mood to speak to right now, but I had a rule about checking my phone. Just in case someone in my family needed me, I had to at least fish it out and see who was calling.
Maggie.
Fuck. Of course, it would be her.
Pressing down hard on the button at the side of my phone, I silenced the call and tossed the phone down next to the empty beer. The ringing stopped with another ping, and I glared at my phone until the screen went dark again.
Dropping my head back down, I remembered that we’d actually had plans for dinner. Yeah, like that’s still happening.
Anger hammered at the inside of my chest and spread warmth to my neck. If she thought she was getting even one more dinner out of me, she was sorely mistaken.
There was a moment when I thought about not even bothering to cancel. Why should I after how badly she’d hurt me? But then I remembered that I’d invited Lydia too.
Leaving Maggie to sit alone in the restaurant until she realized she’d been stood up and felt just a tiny bite of the pain I was in was one thing, but I couldn’t do that to her daughter. Just because her mother had ripped my heart out didn’t mean that I could or should do anything that might impact or influence her in any way.
Despite what Maggie might think of me, I’m not a monster. Heaving out a breath, I sat up and grabbed my phone to text her.
Me: Dinner is off. I have to work.
There. See? I canceled. I do have some decency. Unlike Maggie.
I was in the process of silencing my phone so I wouldn’t have to hear when and if her reply came through when it did. Fuck.
Maggie: Oh no! Okay, I understand :-) How about tomorrow? I finished the portfolio you asked for. I think you’re going to like what you see.
And there it was. The money thing again. I’d been blind to have missed it before. Memory lane and my dick had stolen every last shred of common sense and, apparently, even my sight from me.
At least I’d gotten it back before anything really happened. God, a few hours ago, I’d have been willing to give that girl the world on a silver fucking platter. She’d have taken it and then probably whacked me over the head with the thing as soon as I turned my back.
Yup. Stupid. Stupider. Noah. It was going to become a thing. Or it would have, if I had planned on telling anybody what had happened. This particular buck was going to stop with my family, though.
I didn’t need anyone else finding out how I’d been hit right in the vulnerable. Shit, if I thought about how the vultures had circled before when I’d shown them just a hint of vulnerability, I couldn’t even imagine what would happen if they found out about this.
People from high school had tried to play on my feelings before. No doubt they’d reappear with reinforcements if they knew someone from that time of my life had managed to wriggle their way in.
Christ. The pitches I’d had to endure. One guy I used to play football with had tried to sell me on an app that replicated the mating calls of foxes perfectly.
Lord only knew why anyone would need it, but I sure didn’t. When I’d turned him down, he’d sent out a blast on social media, calling me every name in the book. I’d ignored it for the most part, but it hurt that someone I used to think of as buddy would write me off just because I wouldn’t loan him four million dollars to develop his app.
Another former classmate had tried to convince me that her child belonged to me. She sued me for child support to the tune of sixty thousand dollars a month. Unfortunately, there were two things that ultimately sank her case: I’d never slept with her, and at the time her child was conceived, I’d been across the country attending a graduate program and hadn’t been home for a year.
Small technicalities like that had gotten me out of countless situations where people had tried to get money out of me. What Maggie had done, however, had still somehow completely blindsided me.
Urg. I’m going to drive myself crazy, sitting here alone. Lifting my wrist to the check the time, I saw that Jordan would be home soon. I needed to talk to my brother. He was the only one usually capable of restoring my sanity when I’d taken a hit like this. Not that it had ever been this direct or painful before, but I was hoping that talking to him would still help.
Jordan was home when I got there, opening the door with a smile that dropped as soon as he saw the expression I was wearing. “What happened?”
“Maggie happened,” I grunted, walking past him and into the house. “You still have some beers around here somewhere?”
He shut the door behind me. “I think there are some in the fridge outside. What do you mean ‘Maggie happened’? What did she do?”
I took off to the back door, calling to him over my shoulder. “Remember when you said she was going to leave once she’d gotten what she wanted from me?”
“You mean the joke I made over dinner the other night?” I heard confusion in his voice, but I didn’t stop to look around.
“Well, it might have been a joke then, but you were right.” I reached the door, shoved it open, and walked outside. Sure enough, there were three beers on the top shelf of the fridge. I grabbed two. “Since it’s a Friday afternoon and all, we should make a beer run later.”
Jordan appeared behind me and took one of the beers. There was a frown as deep as a canyon on his forehead. “Slow down, would you? Let’s go inside, sit next to the fire, and talk like normal people. If we need more beer, I’ll go get some.”
“We’re definitely going to need more beer,” I muttered, following him inside after he rolled his eyes at me.
“I’m assuming this is your wallowing day?”
“My wallowing day?”
He chuckled. “You always give yourself one day to drink and wallow in whatever happened before you recover.”
“This time, it might take more than one day.” The
stupid organ in my chest burned when I thought about Maggie, and since my brain still hadn’t managed to rewire itself in the few hours it’d been, I thought about her at least four times a minute. “This time, it really hurts, Jordan.”
As we walked into the living room, he turned to show me his frown again. “Just tell me what happened, okay?”
I collapsed on the couch before taking a sip of my beer and then pressing the heels of my hands down hard over my eyes. “She was using me for my money. It didn’t mean anything to her, other than a payday.”
“What?”
I nodded. “I heard her saying it to someone in so many words.”
There was a brief pause. “Did you confront her about it?”
“No, I heard everything I needed to.” The words she’d used had been crystal clear. There was no room for me to have misinterpreted them.
Jordan hesitated for a long minute. “I know what you heard, but is this just going to be a repeat of high school, Noah?”
“What does it matter?” I bit out. She’d gotten me back fair and square already. “I don’t need this in my life, Jordan. It was fine just the way it was before Maggie came back, and it will be again. That fucking chapter ought to have stayed closed.”
Chapter 34
Maggie
“How long until dinner with Noah, Mommy?” Lydia stared up at me with her big green eyes shining in excitement.
My tongue darted out to lick my lips. I had to tell her he’d canceled, but I didn’t want to let her in on the bad feeling I had about it in my gut. “We’re not going anymore, sweetheart. He has to work tonight.”
“But I had my dress picked out.” There was the briefest flash of hurt in her eyes. It made me want to stab Noah in the balls with a blunt butter knife, but it was gone so soon that I knew it was more disappointment over not getting to wear her dress than actual hurt.