Toni was open-mouthed. She looked around as the steward leaped to attention and greeted her. “Good evening, Miss Chapman. Would you care to sit here just for take-off? Then you’ll be able to move to a more comfortable seat.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “It all looks very comfortable.”
I cheered inside. She was every inch a Countess. I dropped into the seat beside her.
“Seattle,” I answered her unspoken question. “Two hours.”
“And are you telling me why we’re going to Seattle?” I could hear her smile and her delight in the tone of her voice.
I pretended to think for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. You’ll just have to wait and see.” I reached across for her seat belt and watched her buckle up, before doing the same. The pilot came through and touched his cap to me.
“Ready for take off when you are, sir.”
I nodded at him. “Any time, Captain.” Then she reached for my hand and gripped it tightly. I turned to her.
“Are you all right flying?” I was surprised.
“Yes, of course, silly.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I just wanted to say thank you.”
I squeezed her hand back. “You’re very welcome, Toni.”
We had a wonderful flight. Toni explored the jet, exclaiming with delight at the cabins, each with their own bathrooms, the dining room, and lounge.
“I’d never have guessed all this was on board.”
I laughed. “Come and eat. We’ve got a light snack before we get there. Dinner isn’t until quite late.”
She gave me a calculating look, then did as I suggested without making comment.
* * *
It wasn’t until we were in the limo, making for the hotel that she finally asked where we were going.
“To the hotel.” I said uninformatively. “It’s easier if everything comes to us there, rather than being seen going from one place to the other.”
She looked puzzled. “And we mustn’t be seen — why?”
“Oh, we can be seen all right.” I grinned. “And I expect we will be, tomorrow. But what we’re doing tonight is a secret, just for us.”
Her face cleared. “I thought you might be ashamed of being seen with me,” she murmured, looking down.
My heart stopped. I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. I had wanted to hide us being together, of course, because she wasn’t mine, she was Edward’s. But I couldn’t tell her that. Now, I didn’t care. Somehow I’d make it right with my father, and I’d keep her. I could find another girl for Edward, send her straight off to Switzerland. Then it would be Toni and me.
I squeezed her hand. “I’ll never be ashamed of being with you.” A platitude. She deserved better than that.
Then we were there, and the hotel manager received us respectfully, and ushered us through. Lawrence vanished into the office.
Toni looked around, then at me. “You’ve got to tell me now.” Her expression was curious. I wasn’t surprised. We were in a small, luxurious, private cinema.
I grinned. “You told me last week you like the James Bond movies. I’ve arranged a private screening of the new one.” I made a face and leaned back as she flew into my arms with a loud squeal.
“Oh, wow! You’re the best! But how can you have? It’s not even had its world premiere yet.”
I grinned at her enthusiasm. “I know. But I have. And you’d better have some questions for Daniel Craig and Sam Mendes afterwards. They’re joining us for pre-dinner drinks.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.” I enjoyed watching her recover her poise.
“Oh, well. I suppose they couldn’t be persuaded to stay for dinner too.” Her lips twitched, though she tried to seem serious.
I smiled lazily. “Not quite right, I didn’t invite them. I wanted you to myself for dinner.” She gave me a pointed look, and I shrugged. “If the conversation over drinks is okay, you may invite them to stay for dinner. The staff won’t take long to add a couple of places to the table.”
“Just like that,” she said as she shook her head.
“Just like that,” I agreed. Then I took her hand. “Let’s sit down.”
After we’d been furnished with every possible need by the hostess, I nodded to the manager, and the room darkened. I felt over and took her hand. I was going to enjoy her next to me.
She was a delight to sit next to. Entranced by the film, fully involved in it, she gasped and flinched in all the right places. I found I was watching her more than the screen though.
Now I’d admitted to myself I loved her, I wondered what would happen next. I couldn’t quite summon up the nerve to tell her yet, but I thought she loved me back. I loved her body, the way she became aroused by my control of her, and I had to shift slightly in my seat to ease the pressure of my hardness in my pants as I thought of her naked body under my hands.
Already I knew she was different than other girls. I’d always tired of them by now, their possessiveness, the way they tried to change me, the way they demanded more and more material things.
Toni hadn’t asked for anything. She’d accepted the help I’d arranged for her app but she was still determined to make a success of it herself. I loved her for that too. I couldn’t understand why I felt this gnawing anxiety around my feelings, though. A fear of losing her. I didn’t take in much of the film, and at the end, when she sighed with satisfaction and sat back, I hoped I wouldn’t make a fool of myself over drinks by not remembering the plot line.
In the private lounge, the two men waited for us. They greeted her respectfully, and I sensed her wonder at being noticed by two such well-known figures.
She was acceptably star-struck by them, but also restrained with it, and I swelled with pride at her. I sat back and let her lead the conversation. I was pleased that I’d won the fight over her elocution lessons. Her voice was better and she didn’t lose the tone when she was excited. Craig and Mendes didn’t blink at her being there, and they made her feel great, which was why I had got them.
She looked over at me after a while, and to my astonishment when she turned back to speak to them, she dismissed them.
“I’m so glad that you talked to us. I really appreciate it. You’ve a great film there, and I’ll enjoy watching it again. Thank you.” She looked over at me. “I believe we have to go now. It was such a pleasure to meet you.”
They took the hint and said their goodbyes.
I turned to her. “I thought you’d invite them to stay for dinner.”
“Yes, I know. But you don’t want that. I could tell.” She smiled. “So I didn’t.”
I was interested. “How could you tell?”
“Never mind,” she said and she shook her head, and I realized that we were becoming attuned to each other. I grinned and took her through to the dining room, trying to push away the strange looming sense of loss. Nothing would go wrong. I had the means to make sure of that.
I watched her as she took a long time to decide what she wanted to eat. I tried not to smile. She was like a kid in a candy store, whatever she chose it meant saying no to something else. Eventually, she decided on the grilled sea bass, and when the maitre d’ turned to me, I ordered the steak and salad and he bowed away.
“Don’t they ask you how you’d like your steak?” Toni seemed puzzled.
“Lawrence’ll tell them how I like it.” I didn’t think how that sounded, but she looked shocked.
“So why isn’t he eating here? With us?”
I tried to rescue the situation. “Toni, if he’s in here with us, he has to spend the whole time trying to anticipate what I need. As it is, he’s on call, yes, but he can relax otherwise.”
“Oh.” She didn’t sound very mollified, but let it slide although I could tell she wasn’t really satisfied with my answer.
We began discussing work and the chess app launch. Then I let the subject move on to her own work. Warmed by the excitement of the evening and the wine, she began to ope
n up a bit.
“It’s a compatibility app. You download it and the first six entries are free, and after that it’s only a dollar a month, so nobody worries about paying up.” She moved the salt cellar a fraction.
“You enter the way you react and feel to what someone has done from a list of choices, and then it works out your personality type and the more you enter, the more it fine-tunes what you’re like, and tells you who you’re compatible with.” She looked over at me. “And of course, if you unsubscribe, then you lose all your data, so you get scared to unsubscribe in case it finds your perfect partner.”
I nodded. It wasn’t a bad idea, commercially. But it would be the devil of a programming problem. “So what happens if they enter none to the reactions it offers?”
She smiled. “It sends you to a box where you describe it in words, and then the app psychologist chooses the right reaction.”
I raised an eyebrow. “So you’d have the cost of an army of psychologists?”
She scowled. “No. Don’t be silly. I’d start with one, and then if we need more, it’s because we’ve a lot of subs so we can afford it. Paul says it’d work with …” She stared over at me.
“I knew you wouldn’t be interested. I know it’ll work. You think it’s just feeble and you’re only doing it to placate me. Well, I’m going to surprise you. Paul says it’s not long before it’s ready and then you’ll see.” She lowered her head, and viciously speared a bit of fish onto her fork.
“Toni, I’m not thinking that at all. Really I’m not.” I tried to think of a way to placate her. “Look, we’re doing everything we can to make it a success, aren’t we? My own first apps were hopeless, didn’t take off at all. It all takes time. And you’ve got that time. The way to succeed in this business is to keep trying.”
Her eyes were dark pools as she stared at me. “I shouldn’t have told you. Paul believes in me, you don’t.”
Her words were calculated to hurt and to anger me. They worked, but I wasn’t going to show it. I’d been trained from childhood not to show hurt or anger unless I wanted to. She wouldn’t know.
“Let’s not argue. It’s been a good evening, I want us to enjoy our meal.” I smiled over at her and turned the conversation over to the Bond movie.
Inside, I was seething. Maybe Paul needed to be pulled off the work. Maybe I should get his internship transferred — Japan might work.
We got to the end of dinner.
“Tomorrow, shopping.” I kept my tone light. “Have you ever been to Fifth Avenue?”
She stared over at me and said, “I’m sorry, could we do that another day? I just want to go home.”
“But it’s quite late, and the room’s all ready upstairs.”
She shook her head. “I’d rather go home. Can we do that?”
I was puzzled. “What’s the problem, Toni? I’m sure we can work through it here.”
She shook her head again. “Surely you can arrange it. I really, really want to go home. And we could have our coffee on the plane.”
She was right, of course. But I didn’t fancy it being another three hours before we got to bed. Still, the sooner the better, if we really had to go. I leaned back, and the waiter was beside me in a flash.
“Get Lawrence, please. My personal secretary.”
It was only a moment before he was beside me. “We’re going home tonight, Lawrence. As soon as possible. Could you organize it, please?”
“Of course, sir. I’ll let you know when the car’s here.” On his way out of the room, I saw him speak to the waiter, and shortly afterwards coffee was served.
“I thought we’d have coffee on the plane.” Toni still seemed a little on edge.
“We can do that as well, but we have to wait while Lawrence organizes the plane from standby to readiness and gets our bags repacked.” I wanted her to realize that she’d inconvenienced people by asking for a change in plan. Then I felt ashamed of myself. I’d done it often enough, and after all, my staff were exceptionally well-paid to be accommodating. I glanced over at her again, and realized she looked very pale.
“Are you all right, Toni? You don’t look so well.”
She straightened up. “I’m fine, thank you.” She didn’t look at me. And I looked away, proud of the way she wouldn’t use feeling ill or pretending to as the reason she wanted to get home.
She thanked the hotel staff well enough, and soon we were back in the air and on the way home.
Toni
I leaned back in the seat with my eyes closed. It was a way to get time to myself for a while so I could think. James sat quietly beside me. I could sense his solid presence, comforting and just there. I asked myself again what was the matter. I’d just had the sort of evening any girl would die for. I’d enjoyed it too, right up until the point where I’d had this shock, this sudden knowledge.
He didn’t actually care. The smooth, suave exterior, the gentlemanly manner, the polite listening. It was only as far as he wanted to go. People only mattered to him when things were going his way, doing his wishes, making his life comfortable.
I wondered idly if he’d ever cleaned a bathroom or made a bed in his life. But I didn’t need to wonder, I’d put money on the answer being no. And all this living the life of luxury, I’d thought I could get used to it. But I felt alienated, stripped from my past, from people. I was being made a plaything, a suitable wife for a man that I’d thought I was getting to know.
I wondered how Sam was doing. And Pete and even Marco. I wondered if they ever thought about me, if my time there had made a difference. I squeezed my eyes shut even harder, to try and stop the prickling feel of tears. They mustn’t show. Mustn’t.
His hand covered mine. Warm and comforting. But I should snatch mine away. I didn’t want to, and guiltily let myself feel as if he cared.
“James?” I didn’t open my eyes.
“Yes, Toni?” I felt his breath warm on my cheek. He must be leaning close.
“Do we know how Sam’s getting on? You were going to get him on a vet program or something?”
There was a moment’s silence. “I haven’t asked lately, Toni. But I got Lawrence onto it when I was going to ask you to leave the diner and I know he’ll be keeping an eye on how Sam’s getting on.”
His hand left mine, and I sat up and looked around. I missed James’ presence next to me, and I was angry with myself about that.
He was over on the other side of the cabin, having dropped into the seat next to Lawrence, and they were talking together. I watched them curiously. They seemed more like friends than employer and employee, although I’d never seen Lawrence anything but respectful.
Then he handed James an iPad that he’d been using, and James brought it over to me.
“Here you are.” He gave it to me. “Here’s the email trail from the non-profit that Sam chose to go to. They update Lawrence every week and Sam adds his bit, and a photo sometimes.”
I sat up straighter, and began scrolling through the emails. They were from someone called Bill, who was apparently Sam’s key worker, and there was a photo of him and Sam in a cafeteria, laughing together. I examined it. I could barely recognize Sam, he looked open, relaxed and happy.
Swallowing, I read through a few of the emails. It seemed that Sam had moved into the community of vets and was getting the opportunity to refashion his life the way he wanted to and at his own pace. I had to blink a few times. Then I came across an email which thanked James for his generous support, and that the extra funding would be used to extend the facility to enable the charity to support another ten veterans. It confirmed that Sam had whatever support he needed for the rest of his life, and that someone would always keep in touch with him.
“Thank you.” I gave the iPad back to James and sat back again, closing my eyes. I had to think. Did he care? Or was there just so much money around that he’d done that without even thinking, just to get me to agree to his demands? Could I stay with a man who didn’t really care about anyone exc
ept himself?
Desolately, I realized that I’d have to. I didn’t really think he’d cancel Sam’s program if I left, but I knew I couldn’t live without him, and when I thought that, I was angry with myself. I’d sworn to be successful in my own right, never to be dependent. And here I was falling for a man and wanting to stay with him even if he didn’t care about me.
* * *
James sat quietly by me the whole time. He didn’t say a word to me, except when he held my wrap for me when we’d landed, and helped me into the car. The city was almost silent as we drove home, and I was so glad when I was finally climbing the stairs to my room. But as I got to the door, his arm came across me, stopping me from going through.
“You need a good night’s rest, Toni. But I don’t think you should sleep alone.” His voice was controlled, concerned. “I would like us to share a bed tonight. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter. Just to sleep.” He rested his bent head against mine. “I think you need a night-long hug.”
I blinked. Why couldn’t I tell if his concern was real? Why was I suddenly questioning everything? I shook my head, undecided.
“I wish I knew what I’d done that was so wrong, Toni. Then I could try and make things right again.” He sounded so genuine I nearly gave in. No. I had to think.
“It’s not your fault.” I didn’t know why I said that. “No. I have to think.” And I went into my room and shut the door. I leaned back against it, wondering if I had the energy to make it across to the bed. Then, without any conscious thought, I went toward the connecting door to his room. I leaned against it, so close to knocking and going in, the thought of sleeping in the safety of his arms almost overwhelming.
If I hadn’t been leaning against the door, I wouldn’t have heard him. But I was. I heard a string of muffled curses and the smash of glass. I wondered if he’d thrown it. Slowly, I turned away and lay on the bed. It should have been a wonderful day. Why had I let myself ruin it?
Pawn of the Billionaire Page 13