DOUBLE STANDARDS
BY
CLAIRE SVENDSEN
Copyright © 2015 Claire Svendsen
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the Author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Your support of author’s rights is appreciated.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, places or events is purely coincidental.
CHAPTER ONE
The ambulance came and took my father away. His lifeless body had been prepped by the paramedics. An oxygen mask strapped to his face. Needles put in his arm. He sort of groaned when they loaded him up and I thought I saw his eyes flutter open for a second but then he was gone again.
“Is he going to be okay?” I kept asking but no one answered.
Missy got in the back with him, Owen on her lap screaming his head off. She told my father that everything was going to be okay. That he would be just fine. But the tears that rolled down her cheeks told me that she didn’t believe it and then they were gone.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Andy said. “It’s probably just a concussion.”
“Probably,” I said.
I walked back to our stalls feeling numb. People I didn’t know kept coming up to me and telling me that they were sure Dad was going to be okay. That he was a strong man and could take a little fall like that. But the crack of the pole as his body hit it still reverberated inside my head. The way his body went limp and sort of crumpled into the ground like a rag doll. I didn’t know what had gone wrong. And despite what everyone said, I didn’t know if he was going to be okay.
It was up to me to take care of Canterbury. No one else wanted to do it. They looked at the horse like he was a traitor. Even Henry just sort of huffed and turned away when he saw me coming with the big chestnut horse in tow. I didn’t know what else to do but look after him. He didn’t really understand what had happened, nosing in my pocket for a treat. I gave him one and patted his neck. He’d been bad but after my father had come off, he stood there like a statue, not leaving his side. Putting his nose down and nudging my father like he was begging him to get back up. Eventually I had to drag him away. Missy had glared at him out of the corner of her eye. She wouldn’t have given him a treat. She probably wouldn’t have taken care of him at all but I felt like he was my only connection to my father. He was the horse that he’d owned before I even lived with them. If I took care of him then maybe it was like I was taking care of my dad.
“Are you ready to go home?” Henry finally asked when he’d loaded up the trailer.
He was driving us back to Fox Run and then he’d come back and get his truck and camper in the morning. I was grateful that he was here. If he hadn’t been then I don’t know what I would have done.
“I guess,” I said.
Because I knew that whatever home was, it certainly wasn’t going to be normal any time soon.
CHAPTER TWO
Having the horses to take care of meant that I didn’t have time to fall apart. You couldn’t think about things when you had to unload and settle in rambunctious horses who were both tired from a long show day and excited to be home.
Bluebird tossed his head as I unloaded him and put him in his stall. I’d already wrapped his legs with standing wraps and liniment after his class so he was good to go. Some of the other horses had been wrapped already too but I dashed about pulling shipping boots off the ones who hadn’t and wrapped their legs as well. Dad was always adamant that horses got a leg treatment after a busy show day and I wasn’t about to let things slip just because he wasn’t there to make sure they were done right. And I was on my own because after Henry had parked the trailer he mumbled something about getting a friend to take him back to pick up his truck and camper because he didn’t want anyone stealing it.
“Here you go,” I said to Canterbury as I tossed him an armful of hay.
He picked up his head and snorted just as I threw the flake in and pieces ended up all on his head.
“Silly boy.” I brushed the hay out of his forelock.
The other horses nickered as they heard the wheelbarrow and I ended up giving everyone hay, including those that hadn’t even been to the show and had already had their dinner because if I didn’t they just would have caused a ruckus and started kicking at their doors. Horses were like little kids. You couldn’t give one of them something without giving them all something.
I spent a little extra time with Hashtag, making sure he was happy.
“I saw Jess today,” I told him, rubbing his head. “She was different. Maybe if she was like that with you then you guys would have got along better and you wouldn’t have been sold. She has a new horse now. His name is Valor but I don’t want you to be jealous because you are much better looking than he is.”
I patted his neck and lay my head against his warm back. He was another horse to take care of and ride. One that I wasn’t even sure that I needed but he was the last horse that my father had bought and brought in for me to ride, not as a lesson horse or a resale project and I was going to make sure that I got him jumping again so that by the time Dad got home from the hospital, he would be proud of me.
I checked on Arion and Four and peeked in on Macaroni who was laying down in his deep bedding, snoring. Then I stood there in the dark barn aisle, wondering if my father was okay. The moon was full and shone brightly through the skylights leaving silvery patches on the floor. I sat down in one of them and then lay back, looking up at the night sky. When you thought about it in the grand scheme of things, our lives were so insignificant compared to the earth and the universe and the galaxy. We were like some tiny speck of dust. Smaller than a speck of dust and when you thought about it like that, one life didn’t really matter very much. One tiny human being snuffed out just like that. But it mattered to me. Dad mattered to me. I’d only just found him after all this time and I wasn’t ready to lose him again. Not so soon.
My cell phone buzzed in my pocket, making me jump out of my skin. I pulled it out and saw that it was Missy calling.
“Hello?” I said, heart pounding in my chest.
CHAPTER THREE
For a moment Missy didn’t answer.
“Is he dead?” I cried.
“No, he’s not dead,” Missy said.
But she sounded like she’d been crying, her voice all gravelly and rough. And just because he wasn’t dead, didn’t mean that it couldn’t still be bad.
“So?” I said.
“So he has a concussion and some broken ribs and he’s busted up his ankle. They are probably going to do surgery on it tomorrow.”
“But he is okay though?” I said, finally able to breathe again. “He knows who you are? He doesn’t have amnesia or a brain injury or a broken back?”
In the back of my mind was every rider’s worst nightmare, a spinal cord injury that could mean permanent paralysis. Everything else you could bounce back from. Not being able to walk again? You’d never bounce back from that.
“He’s fine,” Missy said. “He’s already bossing the nurses around.”
“So what is it then?” I said because I could tell from her voice that something was wrong.
Missy took a deep breath before she continued. “He’s smashed his ankle up pretty good. The surgeon said that he’s not sure if your father will ever ride again.”
“What?” I said. “Because of a broken ankle? That’s r
idiculous. Of course he’ll ride again.”
“That is what your father said.” Missy sighed.
“Surgeons always say that,” I said. “They have to. It’s like the law or something to warn us that if we mess up our bodies then it is our own fault. He’ll ride again. I know he will.”
“You didn’t see the x-rays,” Missy said.
“Haven’t you seen how they piece bones and joints back together with wires and screws?” I said. “He’ll be even better than before by the time they are done with him. Like a robot or something.”
“I hope you are right,” Missy said.
“I know I am,” I replied.
My father was tough. I knew that nothing was going to keep him out of the saddle. He would make it back, I just knew he would.
“I’m going to stay here tonight,” Missy said. “They’ve set up a crib in his room for Owen and I’ll sleep on the recliner. They are taking him in to surgery first thing tomorrow and I want to be here.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ve got everything covered. I’ll cancel lessons and can probably even teach some if you want.”
“Just cancel them for now,” Missy said. “And we’ll talk about the rest tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said. “Bye.”
“Bye,” she replied. “And thanks Emily.”
I wasn’t sure what she was thanking me for. I hadn’t done anything yet and by the time I’d annoyed everyone by cancelling their lessons and made them mad, no one would be thanking me.
I wandered down the barn aisle and found myself standing outside Canterbury’s stall, the horse that had almost ruined my father’s career.
“You’d better hope he can ride again,” I whispered. “Or who knows what will happen to you.”
Canterbury picked up his head, a mouthful of hay hanging out of his mouth. He didn’t even know that he’d done anything wrong but he had and now it was going to affect us all.
CHAPTER FOUR
It was well after midnight by the time I got into bed. I kept thinking about my father in his hospital bed, all hooked up to tubes and wires, which was weird because I hadn’t really thought that much about my mother when she was in the hospital just a few weeks ago. I thought that I probably wouldn’t sleep and would be stuck staring at the ceiling for the whole night but the truth was that I fell asleep pretty soon after my head hit the pillow and hit the snooze button on my alarm five times before finally rolling out of bed in the morning.
I checked my phone but I didn’t have any messages. I assumed that meant that my father had made it through the night okay and was being prepped for his surgery but I didn’t have time to call and ask as I could see the grooms already pulling in and I knew my father would want me to explain to them what had happened.
They weren’t very impressed that I called them all into the office while the horses were banging their tubs and stall doors for their feed.
“I’ll make this quick,” I said, looking at their uneasy stares.
They were a small group, three guys and two girls and I’d always got on well with them but other than Henry, I’d never had a chance to really get to know them. Our relationships were pretty much made up of smiles and grunts as we passed in the barn aisle and now that I was standing in front of them they all looked like they were a lot older and wiser than I was and I felt like a little kid.
“I’m sure Henry has already told you that my father had an accident at the horse show. He is getting surgery on his ankle this morning and then I am sure that he will be home and everything will go back to normal. But until then I guess if you could hold things together, that would be great.”
It wasn’t a very good speech. No one clapped or said that of course they would help out any way they could. They just stared back at me, blank faced and looking slightly annoyed. One of the guys asked Henry something in Spanish and he answered in Spanish too. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. I just hoped that it wasn’t anything horrible about me. After Henry finished talking the guy laughed and then looked at me. Maybe they were talking about me after all.
“Okay,” I said, my face turning red. “That is all. Thank you.”
They left the office and I sat on the chair at the desk, my legs feeling all wobbly. Maybe I could hold things together for a day or two but those grooms were never going to take orders from me. They all thought I was a kid and I might as well have been. I was no substitute for my father and I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be out there riding my horses, not running a barn. I opened the lesson schedule with a sigh and started calling our clients.
CHAPTER FIVE
Cancelling lessons was one thing but having to explain what had happened to my father over and over again was starting to wear me down. Most people understood. Some were curious. They wanted to know why he had fallen off. When would he start teaching lessons again? Would Canterbury be sold? I didn’t have answers for their questions. Some people were angry, like it was my fault that they couldn’t have a lesson.
I tried to explain that Missy might be around to pick up the slack soon and that they could always have a dressage lesson with Miss. Fontain or one with Mr. Rivers the eventing coach. One woman actually hung up on me when I told her that her horse might actually benefit from some dressage and I thought I’d said it in a nice way but maybe my patience was starting to wear a bit thin. I decided that I’d better stop calling people before I scared off all our clients for good.
I pitched in to help with the barn work because cleaning stalls was somehow exhausting yet therapeutic. You could see that you were making progress and when the work was done there was the finished result right in front of you in the form of a nice clean stall. I felt so tired that I could have just laid down in the shavings and taken a nap but I had horses to work.
Bluebird had the day off so he got to go out and play in the big field, which always made him happy and I put Hashtag out as well, after all I wasn’t really in a good place to deal with a mentally damaged horse when I was already feeling pretty mentally damaged myself.
“How about you and I go out and have some fun?” I asked Arion.
He stuck his sweet gray nose through the bars and licked my fingers. I knew that I should have been working Four or even putting my mental state aside and trying to fix Hashtag but I just couldn’t deal with any of that right now. Usually Bluebird was the one I ran to when I needed some head space but he was tired after his big show and I wasn’t about to put my own needs above his just so that I could feel better. And besides, Arion usually came in a close second at cheering me up.
I stood there in the tack room, looking at all the stuff Henry had unloaded from the trailer. The bridles had been hung back up and the saddles were placed on their respective racks. I went to lift mine down and it was like my arms were made of rubber. I had no strength. I couldn’t even lift it.
“How about a bareback ride?” I asked Arion.
He looked at me and nickered softly.
CHAPTER SIX
Thoroughbreds weren’t the most comfortable horses to ride bareback. They had pointy withers and spines that dug right into your private parts but I didn’t care. I led Arion out to the mounting block and then slithered up onto his back. It was warm beneath me and reminded me that despite the bad things that were happening, I was still alive.
We wandered around the loop, saying hello to all the horses out in the paddocks. Arion was very social and liked to stop and talk to the horses that came over to the fence. Lucy stuck her nose over and then squealed when Arion reached out to sniff her. Then she ran away, high tailing it across the field with her pasture mate, Popcorn, in tow.
“Girls,” I told Arion. “They just like to play hard to get.”
He tossed his head and jigged a bit, wanting to follow them but soon settled when we got to the tree line. I didn’t want to go all the way out on the trail in case I was needed but there was a patch of grass in the shade where we just sort of wandered around.
I
asked Arion to hop over a tree branch that had fallen during the last storm and he did so, getting excited and trying to gallop off after. I had to use every muscle I had in my legs and grab mane to make sure I didn’t fall off. I don’t think my father would have been very impressed if I ended up in the hospital too, although we could have always shared a room, which would have cut down on the bill.
I didn’t even like to think about the amount of money his hospital stay was going to cost and I wasn’t even sure if he had insurance or not but what were they going to do? They couldn’t exactly turn him away when he showed up unconscious in an ambulance. He was only just starting to get back on his feet after the suspension hearing and the amount of money he spent trying to clear his name. He’d even started working over at the old farm again, hauling lumber for the barn renovations. He’d said that maybe we’d be able to move in by Christmas. Now all that would have to be put on hold again, which really sucked.
It was starting to get hot and my butt was going numb so we were making our way back to the barn when I saw a trailer coming down the drive.
“Oh no,” I said. “Now what?”
I wondered if maybe I’d missed something on the schedule. A new boarder coming in or someone trailering in for a lesson that I’d forgotten to call and cancel but the trailer looked vaguely familiar, white with a navy blue stripe running down the side and when it came to a stop and the truck door opened, I knew why it looked familiar. It was Tracy’s truck and trailer and Jordan was driving it.
“What are you doing here?” I said, circling Arion around him.
“It’s nice to see you too,” he said, jumping out with a grin.
He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. White. Who wears white around a barn? If I’d worn it the thing would have already been smeared with horse snot and dirt. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a commercial for some kind of sexy cologne only his sexy didn’t work on me. I was more annoyed than anything. I had enough things to take care of without adding a boy to the mix.
Double Standards (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 20) Page 1