by Amy Brent
I was going to have to do that on my own, which meant a great deal of research had to be done before my internet was inevitably disconnected.
I felt my heart drop to my toes. Christmas was in a week, and it would be the first time I didn’t spend it with my family. It would be the first time I woke up without a tree or lights blinking in the background. It would be the first time I never opened a present or had one of my mother’s homemade cinnamon rolls. I would be the first time I wouldn’t enjoy an evening cup of coffee with my father while he bored me with the details of his business even while he was on vacation.
It would be the first time Luke and I wouldn’t secretly exchange gifts late at night, so Mom and Dad wouldn’t be there to see the support he was providing for my dance studio.
Every single year he got me a gift card to a dance consignment shop, and every year I would go shopping and store the things I bought. At first, I thought about getting a storage unit and putting everything there, but Luke convinced me to keep the items in one of his storage units he had back in New York. He would give me the gift card before he took me shopping, then he’d fly back with those items and store them for me so they would be in pristine condition for when I opened my shop.
And in return, I would buy him these rather expensive bowties with matching cufflinks. My father thought matching cufflinks were tacky, but Luke absolutely loved them. The brighter, the better, so that was always his Christmas gift. We would trade them under the light of the Christmas tree after Mom and Dad stumbled upstairs and went to bed.
But that wouldn’t happen this year, and it brought tears to my eyes.
I knew I needed to start researching, but I needed to talk with someone first. I needed my best friend. She needed to know I didn’t have my phone in case she was getting angry if she was trying to call. Now that my new business was on the fast track, I needed her help getting all this research done, finalizing my business plan and figuring out what loans I would be eligible for. We could have fun looking for places to open my dance studio. I’d need help setting up the consignment shop. And all these things Kelly was so much better at than I was.
I needed to go see Kelly before Tyler got back.
If he was coming back.
I got up and got dressed and headed to my car. I cranked up the car and cringed at the gas I was using, but I still made my way to her apartment. The entire time I drove there, all I could think about was my night with Tyler. I wanted to believe he would come back, I really did. Hopefully, when I returned to the apartment he would be there. But, we only fucked. We didn’t talk anything out or come to any conclusions. I didn’t know if he was staying or still leaving or where he would be going if he was leaving. We didn’t talk about what this meant for me or where I would be going from here.
We didn’t answer any of the questions we needed to. We simply lost ourselves in each other’s bodies.
And yes, it was a wonderful distraction. And yes, it felt fucking fabulous. But, this was real, and this was happening, and it impacted us in ways I don’t think either of us realized. I cared about him greatly. That much was certain when I opened my eyes and felt like crying when I saw he wasn’t there.
But, how did he feel about me?
Was I acting like a stupid little girl?
I got to Kelly’s house and didn’t even have to knock on the door before she threw it open. She wrapped me in her arms and yanked me into her apartment, and I laid my head on her shoulder while her lips ran away with her mind.
“Holy fuck, where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you, and you haven’t been picking up. Are you alright? Did something happen with Tyler? Luke hasn’t been answering my calls either and I was so worried.”
All I could do was cry. My sounds and shaking shoulders silenced my best friend, and she held me in the fluorescent lighting of her apartment while I cried. I felt drained. Used. Wasted away. I felt alone and exhausted. Like I was running in the dark and constantly breaking my toes as I shoved them into obstacles I couldn’t see.
“Holy hell, Amber. What’s going on?”
“I don’t even know where to start,” I sobbed.
“Then start at the beginning.” The rhythmic rocking back and forth she was doing with her body helped me to calm down. We headed to her couch once I collected myself, and her hand squeezed mine tight while her eyes bored into me. She was anxious and worried, but I had to take time to gather my thoughts. It was all so much, and it was all so intertwined.
“My phone’s been cut off, it’s why you can’t get ahold of me,” I said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I registered a business name for my dance studio over the weekend,” I said.
“Why would your parents cut you off like that?” she asked.
“Because I made them a promise when I was seventeen that if I was going to major in dance, then I’d have to come back and work off the education they would be paying for that they didn’t agree with,” I said.
“So, when you registered your dance business name, what?”
“They took that as me throwing my promise in their face. Kelly, they had me fucking followed by a private investigator.”
“Say that last part one more time,” she said.
“It’s ridiculous, right? I had to keep asking them just to make sure I’d heard them right!”
“They hired a PI to dig into you?” she asked.
“From what they made it sound like, they’ve always had a PI. They said they had one track me for a little while when I first went to college to make sure I’d be alright.”
“Holy shit, do they know about Tyler?”
“Not to my knowledge, no. But, that entire thing is a whole other story,” I said.
“What happened there?” she asked. “I mean, at the club he was pretty intense.”
“So, you remember that? Him getting up on stage?”
“And proclaiming his undying love for you? Hell yeah, I remember it. It was so romantic even though he swallowed back his vomit after,” she said.
“Gross.”
“What’s going on there?” she asked.
“Luke and he got into a massive fight, I think. I’m not sure of all the details, but I believe they’re splitting the company or something? Except he was about to leave town, I’m not sure. All I know is I saw him at a gas station with a rental car yesterday, I asked him to come back to my apartment, we fucked like rabbits, then when I woke up he was gone.”
“Gone. Without a note or anything?” she asked.
“I mean, there was a note. Saying he’d be back. But, what if he doesn’t come back, Kelly? I don’t have a phone to call him, and I don’t have money for gas to go find him.”
“Wait, your parents cut off your credit cards, too?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“How in the world are you going to pay rent? And your car? And your insurance?” she asked “Your part-time job doesn’t allow for all that. They haven’t promoted you yet.”
“I know all this, Kelly, and they don’t care. At least, they don’t seem like they do. They’re trying to smoke me out thinking I’ll come running back to them. But, half-pay at the company wouldn’t do any of that, either,” I said.
“Half pay?”
“Yeah, that was the agreement. I’d work for half-pay, and the other half would go back to my parents to pay off my education. I’d work like that until I paid them off for it. All fifty-thousand dollars.”
“Amber, this is bullshit, and you know it. What the fuck are they thinking? You’re their daughter!”
“You wouldn’t know it by how they’re acting,” I said.
Just then, a knock came at Kelly’s door. She got up from the couch and went over to her peephole and took a deep breath before she looked at me. She looked like she was debating something. Whoever was behind that door would change what was going on in here. But, before she could make up her mind, a voice sounded behind it.
“Kelly, I know y
ou’re in there. Open up.”
Luke.
That was fucking Luke.
“Open the door,” I said.
The door opened, and Luke poked his head in. He saw me sitting on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief, but Kelly blocked him from coming in.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Luke?” I asked.
“I was coming to find you,” he said.
“Fuck that nonsense. You’re strolling around my best friend’s apartment, but I can’t even hang out with Tyler? What kind of bullshit is that? Picked up Mom and Dad’s double-standards, I see.”
“For one, Kelly and I only made out a couple of times. You and Tyler seem to be under the assumption we’re fucking, but we’re not,” he said.
“Wait, you think I’m screwing your brother?” Kelly asked.
“You two ventured off into the bathroom the last time we were at the club for, like, an hour. What the hell was I supposed to think? I listen to the way you go on and on about him at my lunches. You mean to tell me I wasn’t supposed to think the two of you were screwing?” I asked.
“Wait, what?” Luke asked.
“Later. Listen, we aren’t screwing around. Kissing, yeah. Some necking? Sure. But, not sex. Definitely not sex. You know me better than that, Amber.”
“I don’t know anyone anymore, Kelly,” I said.
“Besides, after that night at the club, we realized we really weren’t right for one another anyway. It was fun, but there wasn’t a spark,” Luke said.
“Yeah. Your brother’s hot and all, but neither of us are ready to, you know, do the damn thing,” Kelly said.
“Gross,” I murmured. “How did you know I was here?”
“There are only a few places you go when you’re this upset. Kelly’s is the first place I thought of. When I pulled up and saw your car, I figured I’d come up and see if you were here,” Luke said.
“That and I texted him when you first came in,” Kelly said.
“How the hell did you manage that?” I asked.
“You were crying pretty hard. It was easy to slip by you.”
“That’s the only reason I’m here. Can I please come in?” Luke asked.
Kelly finally let him in, and he sat beside me on the couch. He took my hand within his, and tears began to drip down my face again. I missed this. Having my brother so close to me. It killed me whenever we were fighting, but he couldn't treat me like a child anymore.
“Luke.”
“I’m sorry, Amber.”
He had my attention.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m sorry. For everything. You’re not a child anymore. You’re not the lanky little sister I had to protect in school. You’re a woman with dreams and plans, and it’s hard for me to see that sometimes when I look at you,” Luke said.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?” I asked.
“And you were right,” he said.
“Holy shit, you really aren’t my brother. What monster clone thing is this?” I asked.
“Amber, I’m serious,” he said. “You hit the nail on the head when you called me out. About there being another girl back in New York City. There is. Well, there was. Rebecca was her name. We were on and off, not serious. I kept having some commitment issues or some other bullshit like that, and I started ignoring her when Kelly and I started hanging out. It wasn’t right, but every time I saw Tyler look at you the way he did, it reminded me of what I was doing to her, and I lost it. I thought Tyler would do the same thing to you that I was doing to her.”
“Are you alright?” I asked.
“This isn’t about me right now, it’s about you. I need you to know that I see how different Tyler is when he’s with you. It’s not like when I’m with Rebecca or when Kelly and I were doing our thing.”
“Not by a longshot,” Kelly said, grinning.
“He does care for you. He thinks about you all the time, and I know he enjoys spending time with you. And honestly? I’ve never seen another person more perfect for you. He can put up with your shit without taking your bullshit. Hell, he’ll match your shit before he calls you out on it. I see the way you look at him, the way you gravitate toward one another. And if you want to be with him, then you should.”
“Wait. You’re serious,” I said.
“As a heart attack. When he came to talk to me this morning, I saw it. Right there on his face,” he said.
“He came to talk with you this morning?” I asked.
“Yep. Came in on his white horse defending your honor and everything,” Luke said, chuckling.
“And if I want to be with your best friend, you’re okay with that?” I asked.
“Yep.”
“Do you by any chance know where he is?” I asked.
“Honestly? No. He came by to see me this morning, then he left. I figured he went back to the apartment where you were or something.”
“Shit. I woke up this morning and he was gone.”
I bit down on my lip before Luke let out a chuckle.
“I know you two were together last night. You left an impressive hickey on his neck.”
“Oh, shit,” I groaned.
“There’s a good chance he’s gone back to your apartment looking for you, but there could also be another million places in this city he went,” Luke said.
“Where do I start?” I asked.
“We start by calling him,” Luke said.
“I don’t have a phone,” I said.
“Which I’m going to ream Mom and Dad for later. For now, we’ll use mine.”
Chapter 27
Tyler
I sat on the edge of Amber’s bed and waited. I had no idea where she could’ve gone, but I told her I was going to come back. I left her a note letting her know I wasn’t leaving town, so the only thing I could do was wait. I hoped she hadn’t woken up angry. And hopefully, she had gotten enough rest last night.
I tried to write the note so she would understand I was serious about her.
I heard the door open and went charging into the living room. Amber was coming through the door, and she seemed to look a little more relieved than yesterday. She turned and caught my eye before she crossed the room. There was a sparkle in her eye that I hadn’t seen last night. I could tell she had not been entirely herself even as we had fucked each other silly throughout the rooms of her apartment. There wasn’t that same spunky light in her eyes I was used to.
The light I had fallen in love with.
But now, it was there. Now, it was growing. Now, I could see glimpses of the Amber I’d come to know and adore.
And I wanted to know where she had been.
“You came back,” she said.
“Of course, I did. I left you a note that I would. Where did you go?” I asked.
“I went to Kelly’s. Why weren’t you here when I woke up?”
“I went to talk to Luke.”
“Luke showed up at Kelly’s,” she said.
“Why the hell was he at Kelly’s?” I asked.
“Looking for me.”
“Want me to make you some coffee?” I asked.
“Holy hell, I’d love some.”
She went and sat down on her couch while I made both of us cups of coffee. I still needed to tell her I was going to go talk to her parents tomorrow. I knew she probably wouldn’t mind me talking to Luke, but I had a feeling she would balk at me going to see Ron and Darlene. But, I had to fix this mess. By the look in her eye, it seems things worked out with her brother. But that was only a third of that I’d set out to do.
“Cream and sugar?” I asked.
“Just sugar,” she said. “Yeah, he showed up at Kelly’s looking for me, and we talked. He told me you went to talk with him this morning.”
“I did,” I said, handing her the coffee. “He was being an idiot, and he needed to know that.”
“And you talked with him about us,” she said.
Not a question. A statement.
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“Yes, I did. I told him how I felt about you,” I said.
“And how do you feel?”
I looked into her eyes while she held her coffee in her lap. I studied her features, the anxiousness rising in her eyes and the way her grip strengthened on her coffee cup. I watched hesitation roll across her face, second-guessing whether she should have asked the question or not. In that very moment, I knew I loved her. The vulnerability she felt with me and the way she threw herself out there. She was reckless in ways I was addicted to and strong in ways I wasn’t. She had passions that ruled her life, and she would endure anything to get them.
Including being cut off from her family.
“I love you, Amber,” I said.
I watched her put her coffee cup down before she crawled into my lap. She tucked her head up underneath my chin, snuggling into my body as I chuckled into her hair. I could feel her relaxing into me, melting into my body in ways I hadn’t experienced. She pushed herself deeper and deeper, wanting me to shield her and tuck her away from the world.
And I was more than willing to do it. For her.