“Oh, no,” Anna cried again. “He said he was going to visit me here.” Anxiety crept into her voice. “I don’t want to see him. I can’t bear the shame of looking at him. Please tell him he can’t see me, Pa. Please.”
“I’ll tell him,” Paul said.
#
The next morning, Carter closed the barn gate after feeding the horses and turned to see Paul walking at a quick clip down the path toward him. Carter could tell something was wrong from the way Paul walked, but he was still unprepared for what happened. Paul came at him without slowing and punched him hard on the left side of his face.
Carter staggered back. “What in the fucking hell?” he cursed, holding his face and scrambling to find his feet.
Paul jabbed two fingers into his chest and shoved him, nearly sending him to the ground.
“That’s for breaking my little girl’s heart. I have a question for you and a few things to say, and then you’ll be rid of me.”
Carter found his bearings and moved his hand to under his nose, which was bleeding.
“Do you still want to marry Anna, or have you changed your mind?”
“What? I want to marry her! God fucking dammit, Paul,” he spat. “Of course I haven’t changed my mind. I want—”
Paul held up his hand. “I know, I know. You want to court her. Of all the tomfoolery I’ve heard in my time, that wins the blue ribbon. Do you even know Anna? She is the most plainspoken and practical woman God put on this green earth. She needs a man who proclaims his feelings for her and makes good on them, not games and a stupid ritual! Are you a man, Carter? Or are you scared? Maybe that’s the real reason you sent her away.” Paul shoved him again.
Carter attempted to argue, but Paul held a finger to his bloodied face and continued. “Let me tell you something. Anna thinks you don’t want her and that you want another man to court her. What you said to make her think that, I don’t know, but that’s what she thinks. She begged me not to allow you near her. It chafes me to go against her, but I will allow you to see her once. Once! You hear me?” Paul gave him a final shove.
“You have one chance to make things right before I honor her wish. How long you choose to leave her brokenhearted is up to you, but you’re not to set foot on my property unless it’s to beg her forgiveness and ask for her hand. And you’d better pray she hasn’t written you off by the time you find the poor excuse for brains you have rattling around your head.”
With that, Paul turned and strode away, leaving Carter staring after him, still holding a hand under his bloody nose.
Carter felt dizzy. He stumbled toward his cabin, but before he made it, a wave of nausea came over him. He wasn’t sure what caused it—the physical pain or the knowledge that he’d somehow made Anna believe he wanted her with another man. The very thought made him ill. He dropped to his knees and heaved into the dirt. The left side of his face exploded in pain from the exertion of vomiting, and he moaned in agony. Paddy opened the door of the cabin and ran to him.
“Pa, are you hurting?” Paddy grabbed Carter’s shirt at the arm and tugged.
“I’m all right, little man. Go and fetch me some water, will you?”
Paddy ran inside and returned lugging a half-full bucket of water with all his might, spilling most of it along the way. Carter cupped water in his hands and rinsed the blood and vomit from his mouth and face. He stood. He tilted the bucket above him and drank the rest of the water. Setting the bucket down, he lifted Paddy into his arms, and Paddy rested his head on Carter’s shoulder.
Carter walked inside and sat down, still holding his son against him.
“Don’t be sad, Pa.” Paddy’s voice trembled. Carter had always kept a stiff upper lip around him, and seeing his father in this state unnerved him.
Carter pulled him away and examined his sweet face. “You look just like your mama, Patrick. I loved your ma, little man, and I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
Paddy nodded. “Yes, Pa.”
“Do you know who else I love?”
“Who?”
“I love Miss Anna.”
“Me too. I love Miss Anna too. I think you should marry her.”
Carter pulled him back in for a hug. “In that case, little man, I will.”
Chapter 13—The Unbraiding of Anna Brown
Carter thanked Grace for watching Paddy as he packed two decorative hair combs and a gold ring he’d bought in town into his vest pocket. He saddled Bella and set out at a canter for the neighboring farm. It had been two days since he’d seen Anna, but it felt like two lifetimes.
Carter saw her before she saw him. She sat at the picnic table out front halfheartedly flipping through a dime novel and twirling one of her predictable braids. When Anna noticed him, she flew to her feet and closed her hands into fists at her sides. Her defensive stance pissed him off. He dismounted and tied Bella to a nearby tree.
He adjusted the stirrups back to their previous length to fit Anna’s height and removed the saddle from Bella’s back. He walked the four strides to the table carrying the saddle in one hand by the pommel and slammed it down on the bench, which made Anna jump.
“You left your horse,” Carter growled in lieu of hello.
He examined her face. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet. Her entire face was swollen. He wondered how many hours she’d spent crying over the last two days. The bruise from Joe’s backhand was visible on her face, and Carter’s anger about the current situation deepened.
She noticed how rough he looked too. “What happened to your face?”
“Don’t worry about it. Sit down,” he said sharply and pointed to the bench across the table from him.
Anna fell onto the seat. She looked up at him wearily, her big green eyes bloodshot and filled with sadness.
Carter felt stabs of remorse for the sorrow he saw in her eyes. It now made perfect sense to him why Paul had given him such a wallop. Seeing her like that was the worst thing in the world. He regretted not chasing her down and setting her straight the moment she ran away. All of her pain could have been avoided if he’d had the presence of mind to stop her.
He sat down across from her. His voice was hard. “Your pa told me you think I want another man to court you. That’s not what I meant. I meant that I want to court you. The thought of you with another man makes me sick, and I mean that in the plainest sense.”
Anna blinked and stared at him vacantly. She looked worse than tired. She looked dazed.
He continued, softening his tone a bit. “I may have made a mistake asking you to leave, but I did what I thought was best for you and for us in the long run.”
Anna looked down at her hands. “Maybe I know what’s best for me. You didn’t bother to ask me!” Her bottom lip quivered, and her voice shook. He wasn’t the only one angry.
“I know, Anna, and that was wrong of me. I hope you will forgive me for that.”
Anna shrugged and continued to stare at her hands.
“I have an important question to ask you, so I’d like if you could look at me.” His voice was stern.
A tear slid down her face and she glared at him with fire in her eyes. “I won’t go back, if that’s what you want to ask, now that I know you regret my employment and do not wish me to be there.”
Carter felt like she’d slapped him. He wanted to shake her. His temper flared and his jaw clenched. “Anna,” he said through his teeth, struggling to keep his voice level. “I do want you there. How could you think otherwise?” He reached out and tried to take her hand. She pulled it away.
“I think otherwise because you said otherwise!” she yelled at him and slammed both palms on the table. Her bottom lip pouted pitifully before she continued. “You said that you shouldn’t have employed me. You have hurt me most viciously and more than Joe ever could. You let that brute make you regret your time with me. You let him ruin everything. I wish I’d let you kill him!”
“No, angel. Don’t say that. He ruined nothing, I assure you.”
Carter was beginning to understand.
“Then why did you say not two days prior that you no longer wanted me to work for you?”
Carter drew a few deep breaths and counted backwards from ten before he rounded the table and sat next to her on the bench, facing out. He felt her body stiffen when his leg brushed her hip. That was her second recoil from his touch, and it displeased him greatly. She needed to be taken in hand and punished. It was foolish for her to ignore the love he’d shown her and make outlandish assumptions from words he spoke under duress.
With some difficulty, he squashed the urge to drag her to the woodshed a few yards away and give her a good paddling. Instead, he took one of her braids in his hand, carefully, as though she were a nervous filly he didn’t want to spook, and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. “I love these silly braids,” he muttered.
She sniffled. He pulled the ribbon at the end and began to unbraid it tress by tress, willing her not to pull away. She remained stiff at his side but didn’t make any attempt to bolt. He finished and left that half of her hair loose down her back.
“I love everything about you,” he continued. He rose to his feet and stood behind her. He unraveled her other braid slowly, still worried she might break away at any moment. While he worked on unbraiding her, he spoke. “I feel I have been forthright about my feelings for you, Anna, but it doesn’t seem you would agree from what you’ve been saying to me. Listen to me now! I love you very much and I want you with me. Nothing will change that.”
“My god,” he breathed when he finished unbraiding. Her hair cascaded in waves down her back. It was even more beautiful than he’d imagined. He gathered some of it into his hands and ran his fingers through it. Her hair’s flowery scent gave him a heady feeling. Carter thought he felt her relax, and some of his anger cooled.
“What happened with Joe terrified me. All the ways it could have been worse were on my mind. I am only a man, Anna, and a man can only lose so much in one life before he is broken. I wouldn’t wish to live another day if I lost you or my son.”
He stroked her hair from head to tip. “I blamed myself for the possibility of it happening. The ways I could have prevented it ran through my mind. I thought out loud. That doesn’t mean I regret a single second you’ve spent with me and Paddy.”
He took one of the decorative combs he’d brought and fastened a piece of her hair to it. She looked ravishing. “Ending your employment and sending you away was not an action of regret.”
For the next part of his speech, he needed to see her face. He took her arm at the elbow and helped her to her feet. She turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.
“It was a step toward our future. I wanted to court you, but courtship is no longer an option. Therefore, I’m asking you today. Will you marry me?”
Anna looked at him with love and misery combined. He reached for her hand, and this time she let him take it. Retrieving the ring from his vest, he slid it onto her finger.
“That’s for you, if you’ll have me as your husband,” he said, and kissed her hand. “Often I worry that you’ll get hurt by this cruel world. The last thing I wanted was to be the one to hurt you. Believe that. I only ever want to love and protect you for as long as I live.”
She closed her eyes and two tears fell from her eyelashes. One of the tears stopped at the corner of her mouth. Carter brushed it aside, grazing her lips with his thumb when he did. Time passed.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. What are you thinking?”
She blinked away the last of her tears. “I’m thinking so many things. My mind won’t stop. I’m ashamed of how much I hated you and didn’t understand your intentions. I’m so sorry, Carter! I felt such pain. I couldn’t think clearly. I hated you these last two days.”
Carter felt himself scowling. “Yes, I know. I’m not exactly in good favor with the Brown family. Your father hasn’t cared for me much either, as you can see,” he said, pointing to his face.
Anna’s eyebrows shot up. “My pa hit you? Oh, Carter! It’s all my fault.”
Carter bit his tongue to prevent himself from agreeing with her and instead reaffirmed his intentions. “I planned to ask for your hand soon. It wasn’t going to be a long courtship, but your pa sped up the process even more because he saw what I didn’t. He saw that you need a promise from me now. Do you understand?”
Anna nodded. “I love you more than anything, Carter. You’re a good man for wanting to court me. I’m sorry I didn’t understand the meaning of your words.”
You will be sorry, Carter thought, his anger still just below the surface. He looked into her eyes for a moment before he cupped the back of her head in his hand, entangling her hair in his fingers. He wrapped his other arm around her waist to pull her toward him. Tilting down, he kissed her. Anna reached around and placed her palms on his back. Their passion grew as they kissed. When he felt Anna growing needy and aroused in his arms, he took a generous fistful of her hair above the neck and pulled her head back, unlocking her lips from his. She whimpered.
“You like that, little girl?” he growled against her neck. He wished he could bend her over the table and take her there, hard and rough like she deserved for doubting his love. He peppered her with kisses from her collarbone up to her ear and bit her earlobe. Anna moaned and he nipped her again. He pulled her hair harder, bringing a gasp to her lips. “I asked you a question!”
“Yes. Yes, I like it,” Anna panted.
“Hmm,” Carter rumbled. He released her hair from his grip and nuzzled down her neck before making his way up to her other ear with kisses.
He growled softly in that ear. “That’s not the question I want answered, young lady. Say you’ll marry me now. Every second you make me wait is another hour I’ll spend tanning your hide.”
Anna waited three long seconds before she said, “I’ll marry you, Carter.”
Carter smiled and folded her into his arms. “You’ll pay for that.”
Chapter 14—Pleasure and Punishment
The next day, Anna and Carter married. The only people at the ceremony were the preacher, Anna’s parents and sisters, Paddy, Ben, and Grace. Anna didn’t wish to have a lavish wedding and wanted to marry right away. As for Carter, he didn’t care what the wedding was like, so long as Anna was the bride.
Ben and Grace offered to watch Paddy overnight, so Carter and Anna rode home alone together in the buggy after the ceremony. Their first night as husband and wife stretched before them, full of unknown pleasures and mysteries. Carter was silent during the journey. He hadn’t had the chance to speak with Anna after the proposal and before they exchanged vows. Following the proposal, Anna’s family joined them in the front yard and celebrated their engagement. Paul gave Carter one of his best cigars as a peace offering, and Margie cooked an extravagant dinner and served him whiskey. Anna drank half of it with his permission and her parents’ displeasure. That morning before the wedding, he wasn’t permitted to see her, as was custom, and so the only words they’d exchanged in the last two days were related to his proposal and their vows. He was able to ignore his disappointment and anger long enough to marry the woman he loved, but during the ride to what was now Anna’s home as well as his, his ire returned.
Anna spoke, her voice shy, “I must say you look very handsome, husband.”
He was wearing his Sunday best and had shaved his face, which Anna had told him before that she liked. He looked to his side and regarded her. On that day, her hair tumbled in curls and waves around her shoulders. She wore a flowered wreath around her head, her best dress, and white gloves.
“Thank you, wife. You’re looking rather lovely yourself.”
They reached the cabin, and Carter pulled the brake. He stepped out of the buggy and held his hand out to her, which she clasped in her gloved hand during her descent.
Carter released her as soon as her feet touched the ground. “Go into the bedroom and wait for me while I see to the horse. Sit on the bed until I meet you ther
e.”
She looked concerned at his tone and searched his eyes. He thought about kissing her to settle her nerves but refrained. She had good reason to be nervous. Anna walked to the house alone.
It was dusk and would soon be dark. After attending to the horse and buggy, Carter entered the cabin and then the bedroom holding a lamp. He found Anna sitting on the edge of the bed as instructed. Her bare feet dangled just above the floor. Her hair wreath, gloves, shoes, and stockings were in a pile in the corner. She folded her hands together and focused a wide-eyed gaze at him. He placed the lamp on the dresser.
“Anna, do you know how a man and his wife make love?”
“Yes,” she said shyly.
Carter sat on the chair next to the bed and removed his boots. Setting them aside, he looked at her. “I’m glad you’re aware. We’ll get to that this evening, but not for some time yet.”
Anna looked disappointed. “Why don’t you want to make love now?”
“Because there is a pressing matter that cannot be delayed. Before you feel my love in the form of pleasure, you must feel my love in the form of punishment. I am very angry with you, and I don’t wish to make love to you while angry.”
Anna’s eyes moistened. It was difficult for him to scold her on her wedding night, when she was already nervous, but he didn’t waver in his resolve. One thing he knew was that she deserved a punishment and he needed to give it to her. Their marriage couldn’t begin by ignoring the outrageous doubt and insecurity she had displayed.
“Why are you so angry with me?” Anna asked, her voice only a notch above a whisper.
“You know why,” he clipped. “Tell me, and think smart before you speak.”
Anna bit her lower lip, then licked it before answering. “Is it because I ran off after you told me I couldn’t work for you?”
“Partly. What else?”
“Because I thought you didn’t love me anymore and that you wanted another man to court me?”
The Unbraiding of Anna Brown (Lone Star Love Book 2) Page 10