by Danny Hogan
‘Leave ’em alone, they’re only little girls you bastards,’ somebody shouted.
‘Some fancy shooting, all right,’ came another voice from above.
I saw the custodian of the general store eye us as he swept his front steps. A tired and fearful looking lady came by us hauling two kids, one in each hand, all ungainly down the street. It felt like the town was waiting for something but we walked on.
We recouped our mule from the stableman, who was neither friendly nor unfriendly, and I realised then that, for some reason, I had a great dislike of the sight of this spavined legged, bug bitten creature that carried our bags. Not Alice though. She doted on the fucker and was cooing at him and calling him Mr. Chocolate as he nuzzled her. What a dumb name that was. Mr. Chocolate? The fucking thing was grey and looked about as sweet as a crap sandwich.
I noticed the way the other guys in the livery stopped their work to look at Alice, as if her every movement held some kind of secret mystery that would unlock eternal happiness.
Oh yeah, I thought, as I discreetly pulled the front of my duster open allowing a glimpse of my cleavage with its sheen of sweat. That took the attention away from the princess all right.
Then a sign caught my eye, hanging up above a hayloft: Bastrop supports Houston’s proposition to sterilize the feeble of mind. I pulled my duster shut.
‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’
Alice nodded and began to pull the mule along with us.
When I came out some locals had gathered around the man I shot and they were muttering with the guards. I could see them looking at us. They stopped talking and then recommenced in quieter tones.
We headed off Main Street and out of town and headed east, entering the brush-filled desert with the merciless sun in our faces. I felt cooked already.
‘I hope the next place we stop at is more of a party town,’ I said.
‘Yeah, that place was kind of weird, wasn’t it?’
‘Sure was.’
***
The evening began to shoo away the sun. We were dog-tired and there was still no sign of the next settlement. I was not feeling good nor happy and Alice, evidentially, was in the same humour.
‘We should be coming up to Giddings real soon, really we should.’
‘OK, if you say so,’ I said, huffing and puffing and sweating like a 300 pound whore working a midday shift.
She suddenly stopped in her tracks, bringing the mule to a clattering halt: ‘I saw something move over there.’
‘Probably a prairie rat or something. Can we please not stop... t’aint safe here and it’s too damned hot.’
‘No, shhh.’ Alice touched me on the shoulder and squatted a tad and pointed out across twenty-miles of lifeless prairie. ‘There, look.’
I shoved her forward hard. She hit the deck face first and landed with a painful sound of the air being knocked out of her lungs, ‘Stay down,’ I snarled, and pulled my carbine from its sheath.
18
Over the brush ridges, I saw those telltale jerky movements and my heart sank. Alice started to kick out a noise. I had hurt her bad, throwing her to the floor as I did. She was bleeding out of her mouth and nose and I was feeling like a bitch.
‘Sssh, I am sorry,’ I said, putting my hand gently on her shoulder, ‘but… look, don’t freak out OK but it’s lanky’uns.’
I knew that before I actually saw the first elongated, slack-jawed, black fanged, black-eyed face, framed by strands of lank greasy hair, appear above the ridge just yonder. A long ungainly body, ribs and breastbone clearly showing through pasty, white sagging skin, covered with crust and scars followed the face. Its limbs were twice the length of what’s natural and as thin as broom handles. The elbow, wrists and knees were like baseballs. It emitted this fucking horrible squeal like a woman in the teeth of agony and terror and, around it, three others just like it emerged.
OK, I know they ain’t the undead and I knows they can be killed, but my god, it doesn’t make coming up against them any less terrifying. I was somewhat glad that the sight of them took Alice’s mind off the injury I gave her and she stopped whimpering.
‘They’re a lot fucking stronger than they look, and much tougher.’
‘Oh god.’
‘Don’t scream, they might not have seen us.’ Pointless of me to say really. Our fat, delicious looking mule was probably what attracted them in the first place and now, Mr. Chocolate was calling for them to come and get it with his stupid braying. I put my face in the dirt and wished I was elsewhere.
‘If they manage to scratch or bite you, you’ve had it OK. They harbour deadly germs in their mouths and under their fingernails and, out here, you’ll be done in by infection.’
As quick as I could I loaded up the Marlin from my bandoleer with those hollow points, packed with my own recipe. I put it aside and did the same with Comeuppance just as the four wretches lumbered right towards us, like big white spiders. I looked over and saw that Alice had drawn her Glock. That would have to do for now.
I drew a bead on the lead lanky’uns chest. I knew I could not risk a headshot, due to the speed they moved. My heart thundered in my ears and I was fairly pouring with sweat. As soon as I could see the reds of its eyes I felt the Marlin kick into my shoulder as I pulled the trigger. It was a marvellous shot and the lanky’un hit the dust face first, like a slain horse kicking up great plumes of sand as its gangly limbs clattered across the ground, bringing the savage to a halt.
It looked like my heroics inspired competition in Alice as she emptied four bullets into the trunk of another one. Unfortunately, it only served to slow it down and make it mean-angry. The fast bastards were nearly on us. My carbine unleashed billowing clouds of smoke as I pulled the lever and squeezed the trigger again, sending my second quarry reeling backward into eternity. The noises they made were nasty and haunting and I could see Alice was palsied by fright. The two living, one injured, t’other as yet unharmed, spotted the weak one of us and descended upon her.
For the little luck it might provide the fat mule did its best to bolt off down the road. That caught the attention of one of the uninjured lanky’uns, who near bowled me over as it sped off after him, shrieking and stinking as it went. I got my balance and saw with fear and horror that the other lanky’un, the one with a chest full of lead, was upon Alice now and had her hand in its nasty mouth. Dear god. I had about two seconds grace before the thing would turn her into pulled pork.
This was about the most hopeless situation I could remember finding myself in but….I will tell you this, hand on heart, I ain’t good for much at all. I can cook a meal fair enough and, when a nice tune kicks up, I have been known to dance in a way that’d attract the fellas like bees around honey. That was about it except, of course, for killing. And, in these wretched times, where a girl’s only chance is her old .44, it ain’t a bad thing to be good at. And it was times like this that I amazed even myself.
My immediate concern was the savage on Alice, who had its back to me. Removing my Bowie from my belt I cleaved the knife into the back of its knee with as much anger and strength as I could muster. With a strangled howl the creature let go of Alice’s hand and fell back on its haunches as I withdrew the knife, one of its legs rendered useless and its body right next me. With all the mustard I could summon I thumped my Bowie, hilt deep, into the slavering, screaming monster’s heart. That shut it up, mercifully.
With my left hand, palm out, I drew Comeuppance from off of my left hip and levelled it at the devil that was hightailing it after our mule. Compensating my aim, shooting left handed as I was, I blasted the giant critter in the back. It collapsed to its knees with its long arms flung out voicing a horrible noise. I then took aim and blew the back of its head through its face with a big red mist. Holy shit, I must have looked beautiful right then, for sure.
The dead lanky’un fell from my blade and I looked over to Alice. She appeared on the brink of losing her mind as she clutched her bit hand. I grabbed h
er tightly by the wrist and she let out a pained cry.
I dragged her over to the fretful looking mule that had only just managed to get its fat ass not more than an arms reach away from the dead lanky’un. I pulled a bottle of whiskey from my sack and uncapped it with my mouth.
‘I’ll hold my blade out you pour this here whisky all over it. Quickly damn it.’
I could see her shaking like a beaten hound as she did what I bid her with her good hand. I wiped the blade clean on my shorts. I remember thinking how obscene they looked just then, which was not a usual notion for me at all.
I looked around on the ground for anything. Alice bit her lip and whimpered as I did so. I guess she knew what was coming but it was too late. I had no choice but it damned hurt my heart. I found what I was searching for. Shaking a bit myself, I picked up the twig and plugged Alice’s pretty mouth with it.
I got a good tight grip on the handle of my knife. I was going to have to make this quick and the strength I was trying to gather had to be three fold greater than what I used on that foul lanky’un.
I didn’t know what to say, I just looked Alice in the eyes. She looked back at me all sad but stoic. She nodded and I nodded back. With all the power in me I brought the blade down upon her wrist.
19
Well I had to keep telling myself that I weren’t out here to make friends but it didn’t make me feel any better. I can’t remember clearly the details of what happened so I guess I blocked it out.
My first clear memory was staunching and dressing Alice’s wrist, which was now a stump missing its hand. I felt sick to the stomach. Bear in mind I once cut a fella’s arms and legs off, sewed him up and made him wriggle around squawking with horror, for my own entertainment. But he was a really, really bad man and he’d done worse to others.
Alice just sat with her back to me for a long while. We were losing light and we were deep in lanky’un country by all accounts. I don’t think I had it in me to deal with any more excitement that day. I had had to think fast and, even though I did the very best thing I could possibly have done, save her life in fact, something deep in my heart wanted me to atone.
I plugged my mouth with chew and walked up behind her; with every step I took I just felt plain bad. I mean really, really bad.
I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders and by god did I feel relieved when she rested her head on my own.
‘Look, Alice I’m really sorry…’
‘What are you talking about Jezebel? You saved my life about twice over,’ her voice sounded strange, kind of weak and far off. ‘And my god you were amazing. So graceful.’
Oh yeah, that sure was true.
‘How you feeling? Sick like ill sick?’
‘No Jezebel, don’t worry, just hand cut off sick.’ She looked real tired like she was going to fall asleep.
‘Do you reckon the mule will hold you if you sat astride it? You really don’t look like you weigh a thing.’
She nodded and I helped her stand up. We walked over to that fat fuck in each other’s arms and I moved some of the bags around to make room for her and helped her up onto the dumb beast. So concerned was I about Alice and what I had done, I took the mule’s tether without complaining and began to lead the way on the road towards Giddings. Seriously, there I was doing all the work and not even grumbling to myself. I am righteous, I suppose.
The sun was coming down on us and I was getting nervous. It came as both a good and bad thing that Giddings turned out to be not ten minutes from where we were attacked by them lanky’uns.
Good because we did not have to go far to reach civilization. Bad because someone had come along recently and forcibly removed the civilization from it.
There was not a single homestead that wasn’t smouldering and blackened and bodies littered the streets, twisted in agony and in various states of undress. This was the work of normal humans and it filled me with anger.
‘Goddammit,’ I snarled. I really needed shelter so that Alice could rest up but there was precious little left standing. Not to mention that this havoc was done recent and whoever done it could still be around.
My stomach did twinge though when we came upon a headless child in the street. Small chubby limbs outstretched, looking like a broken doll, the entrails coming from it told me it weren’t. I looked at the ground.
Just off the main street I could see a two storey abode that was more or less still standing and, tugging the mule, headed through the body strewn street towards it. The smell of recent death was heavy.
I tethered that fat mule up outside the abode and helped Alice down off the beast. She slumped into my arms, half-asleep already. I put her on her feet and waited until she got her bearings. I helped her through the open doorway of the ruin and up a flight of unstable feeling wooden stairs.
Upstairs we found ourselves in a room that appeared to have been ransacked, stripped of all its features and furnishings. It was as bare as could be and there were big old holes in the wall. Some showed wooden struts under dusty old plaster and others the sunset sprawling its way across the sacked town outside. The roof was half gone, but there was enough left to provide a fair amount of shelter.
I helped Alice sit down on the floor and went down the rickety old stairs to unpack the shit we needed from the mule. I took up Alice’s bedding first and set her up a bed real nice and neat for her like I’d seen her do in Austin.
‘Come on get in it, you need rest,’ I whispered, gently. ‘I’ll go get our food and water.’
I went down the steps again and unpacked as much as I could carry: food, water and my own bedding, and carried them up the stairs with me. Fully loaded as I was the stairs creaked weakly under me and I got a bit nervous thinking that any minute I’d fall through them.
Upstairs Alice was now tucked in her bed with her eyes closed. I poured out some water into a little tin cup and brought it to her lips. I fed her some fruit and nuts from my hand like you would a bird.
‘Thank you,’ she said, awful weak.
I stroked her head to offer a little comfort and see if she weren’t running a fever. Then I figured it would be a good idea to unload everything from the mule, just to give the fat bastard a break.
Downstairs I pulled the remaining bags from his stinking back and dumped them on the floor while I mopped off some of that righteous sweat from my brow with my bandanna. I looked around and noticed one of them there bodies on the ground just by me. I went over to have a look at it; see if it might answer me some questions on who’d been naughty around there. I rolled the corpse over with my foot.
‘Shit.’
I really wished I hadn’t been so curious. Saying that the body told me everything I needed to know about her attackers and who they were is putting it awful mild. His handiwork was plain to see.
20
Sprawled as she was, with her clothes in tatters, she’d obviously been beaten and raped. Her mouth was a gaping hole missing teeth, I noticed that her fingers were all cut off and she had been scalped. If that didn’t tell me who was behind this the next thing I saw was about to spell it out, quite literally.
One half of her face was bruised quite bad but you could make out she had been quite pretty. The other half was horrible. It was literally swollen twice its normal size and the skin was all red and crispy black, with thin white stripes of fat poking through. There was a flat black indentation pressed in the middle of this horrible mess, and I could make out, quite clearly, that this indentation formed a stylised ‘E’.
I did not have to go around and check each discarded souls’ face in Giddings that night; I knew, one hundred percent, that they also wore that foul brand. It was the brand everyone in the Southwest knew belonged to Old Man Elliot.
I plugged my lip with tobacco and looked around for a bit. Things were too quiet if you know what I mean; a bit like Garfield. That had me wondering if that town had not suffered the same fate as this one.
I looked at that stupid mule. I
t was such an obvious attraction, giving away our location to the world, but there was not a damn thing I could do with it. I untied him and went to move him away from the abode at least. Except, I couldn’t. The bastard animal stood its ground, try as I might. I might as well have attempted to budge the abode away from the beast. All I managed to do was work up a good old sweat that, as the air cooled, made my clothes feel real close and nasty.
The light was just about gone by then and I could see the beady eyes of the brute, all shining, eyeing me in the encroaching dark. I was about ready to draw my pistol and put the dumb thing out of its misery, I was that mad. I thought about loosing a bullet into the air just to put some fright into it and maybe get it to budge on its own accord but I realised, if I did that, I might as well spend my time rounding up some carrier pigeons and sending out fancy little invites to every lanky’un and looter in a twenty mile radius.
I spat a big glob of chew juice between his eyes and his answer to that was just to move his head lazily to the side.
Getting tired, I took as much gear as I could upstairs, made my own bed and ate a bit of jerky. I was sat there chewing at the tasty, tough meat when it occurred to me that I had not washed in around three days and I was starting to feel really nasty and all marinated in my own juices. I hankered after a good wash and some clean clothes. Perhaps I could throw on my new dress… and I was desperate for some entertainment, by golly. I could do with a decent meal, my stomach grumbled in agreement, and maybe find a worthy buck for me to ride.
This whole going to Houston to take down Old Man Elliot and his posse thing seemed awful stupid around about then. Especially as the old fuck could be right outside. The damage to this town was not more than a day old I reckoned. And I’d heard tell how these dark agents of the government – Old Man Elliot; George Tarbuck and his crew; Lowrent McGovern and Hank Shandi from out of Arizona – would take a selection of folks from one of their targeted areas and spend a good day or two getting all kinds of entertainment out of them until they got bored and moved on to the next bit of land that the government in Houston wanted. I had managed to keep the young upstarts out of my part of Austin, but I was yet to come across any of the big boys like Old Man Elliot.