by J. Naomi Ay
Chapter 9
Jim
“Spaceman!”
“Admiral?” I said. “What’s the matter now?”
“There is a strange woman in my quarters.”
“Yes, Admiral.” I paused the movie which was still in the opening credits. Taking Tim’s arm, I guided him back to his cabin. “I agree Shelly is very strange, but she is in her quarters. Yours are two doors down on the left.”
The Admiral looked confused which actually, was normal for him.
“Are you certain?”
“Yes, sir. Positive."
The cabin door swished open to reveal Tim's bathrobe draped across the messed-up bed. Obviously, he had been sleeping, and awoken disoriented.
“See, sir?” I pointed. “Everything is in order, and your uniform is laid out. Next time, if I may be so bold to suggest, you ought to put it on before you walk out in the hall.”
Tim looked down at his bare legs and his naked stomach, as I knelt down and held out the pair of boxers.
“You’re correct, Spaceman,” he muttered. “I am improperly attired.” Steadying himself by placing his hands on my shoulders, he stepped inside and allowed me to pull them up.
“It’s alright, Admiral. No one at Spaceforce Command needs to know about it.”
I stood up and snapped to attention, my back ramrod straight while offering him a salute.
"At ease, Spaceman," he ordered, saluting me back before shuffling off to the bed. "Go get yourself some shut eye. Tomorrow will be a busy day. What is our ETA to...to..."
"Spacebase 22, sir. Sixteen hours and twenty-seven minutes."
“Good. I expect to be woken up in time to complete all my reports and logs before docking." He lay back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Yes, Admiral. I'll make certain of that."
"And, tell my adjunct, Commander de Kudisha, that I want her to attend the meetings with me."
"Yes, sir. I will. I'm sure she’ll be there in spirit even if she's not physically present."
"What?" Tim barked, pulling himself half way up.
"Nothing, sir. Goodnight."
"Hold on, Spaceman. What about the strange woman in the cabin down the hall? Do you think I alarmed her?”
“No, sir. I don't think she saw anything she hasn’t seen before.”
“I don’t know about that, son,” Tim chuckled, lying back down. “The way she screamed you would have thought I’d gone in there naked.”
“Go figure,” I chuckled too and tucked the blanket around him. "Goodnight, Gramps."
I kissed the old guy's forehead. If nothing else, he made my life interesting. I was lucky he was still around.
Flicking off the light, I quietly closed the door. The Admiral’s breathing had already become deep and steady, occasionally interrupted by a snore.
Next door, the cabin was assigned to Napu. Across the hall were Gwen and Shelly, while I was left with the lounge. This spaceplane was an older model with only four guest cabins, a tiny galley and a couple of heads. However, it was all mine, and I owned it outright. My name, Duke of Kalika-hahr was scrawled across the wings.
After that deadly accident on Spacebase 41-B, I vowed never to fly commercial again, so with part of my inheritance, I had purchased this old tub. A little bit of exterior skin work, a new sleeper sofa in the salon, a couple of engine overhauls, and this baby flew like new. I had named her Jimmy’s Chariot, and Gwen had cracked a Champagne bottle on her the first time we were aboard. Now, we were on our way to Spacebase 22, which was the first time we were taking her beyond the Rozarian star.
"Has he settled back down?" Gwen asked, emerging from her cabin. She was dressed in her bathrobe and her hair was piled on top of her head in a knot.
"Yeah. He's fine," I replied, inadvertently staring at Napu's door. Gwen looked at it also as if the door could talk.
"Go on," she said. "It's his job."
"It's off hours."
"He doesn't have off hours. He needs to know."
"Alright," I conceded, and hesitantly, approached. “Napu?” I softly rapped. “Napu, are you awake?”
The light was on. A thin yellow glow shone from beneath the door, and I could hear his voice chanting inside.
"Napu?" I called again. "May I speak with you a moment?"
“Yes, Master Jimmy,” the Luminerian replied. "I will be right there."
Gwen and I waited in the hall for another minute or two until the door swung open and Napu stood before us.
"Oh God!" Gwen cried. "What happened to you?"
"Dude!" I gasped, and averted my eyes, as Napu was covered in his sticky, smelly, greenish blood. "Where you attacked by something?"
"No, Master Jimmy," Napu insisted, apparently not as bothered by this as we. "Today is the Day of Blood. The Great Master Rosso has commanded us to bleed for our sins, so I have been busy piercing myself with nails."
"Oh good heavens," Gwen gasped.
"This is all in your book? That must have been a chapter I didn't read. Tell me, do you have days when you extract your organs or eat each other's hearts? Is there a festival where you all run around and cut off your spouse's head?"
"No, Master Jimmy," he replied, my joking not ruffling his calm demeanor. "Do you?"
"Napu." Gwen glared at me and then, smiled at him, although it looked more like a squinting sort of wince. "In the future, would you kindly tell us when you're going to have a day like this? You've got to admit, it's a bit of shock for us to see you all...all cut up."
"Of course, Mistress Gwen. Now, of what do you wish to speak? I don't mean to be rude but I must continue my punishment until the day has passed."
"And, there's a full hour yet until midnight," I remarked. "You could poke at least another couple hundred holes in that time."
"Yes, Master Jimmy."
"Jim, please," Gwen hissed. "Let's talk about the Admiral. Napu, Tim was just up wandering around. I know it's your private time, but could you please keep an ear out and an eye open for him? He scared the dickens out of Shelly by bursting in on her while stark naked."
"It's a wonder Thad and Larry were ever born."
"Jim!"
"Yes, Mistress Gwen. I will pay attention." He bowed from the waist, blood dripping from about a thousand orifices to the floor. Gwen and I both edged away. "And, I will clean this up, too," Napu promised.
"Thank you."
Gwen grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. We went into her cabin and shut the door.
"Man, those people are whacked," I said, sitting down on her bed. "I hate to say it, but I'm glad we brought Tim and Shelly along."
"Yeah," Gwen agreed, collapsing next to me and taking my hand. "I would have worried the whole time leaving them with Napu."
"Me too. Well, I'm going to get back to my movie. You try to get some sleep."
"I will." Gwen kissed my cheek. "You get some too."
An hour or so later, I was dozing on the couch. The movie was boring and predictable, so I shut it off after the first twenty minutes. The Admiral was sleeping like a baby, and Gwen and Shelly's cabin was dark, when Napu emerged from his room to waddle past me.
Considering how an hour earlier he had been bleeding from a bunch of holes, I was mildly surprised when no green blood leaked from him as he passed by. In fact, he didn't seem at all damaged as he stood knocking on the cockpit door. Why he was doing that, I had no clue.
Todd, a former frat brother of mine, and our pilot, opened up, letting Napu inside, while I rolled over on my make-shift bed and went back to sleep.
In the morning when I awoke, a full six and one half hours later, I discovered Todd on the floor next to me. Napu was at the helm, calmly driving. The Admiral was eating corn flakes and watching the vid, while Shelly and Gwen were still sleeping. At least, I hoped they were, as neither had emerged yet from their cabins.
"Hey, Napu," I said after racing to the bridge. "What the hell are you doing driving my plane
?"
"Good morning, Master Jimmy," he replied and rose from his seat to bow. "I am taking you and your family to meet my master."
"I thought I was your master, or at least, the Admiral was," I said, while looking the coordinates on the tri-dimensional projected chart.
Unfortunately, I had never learned to fly, and had only a vague understanding of navigation. However, I knew enough to ascertain that we weren't going to Spacebase 22. "Where are we going, Napu?"
"Rosso has requested I bring you to him."
The Luminerian turned back to the console to press some buttons. The ship veered a little. We changed vectors and sped up, or slowed down. Like I said, I had no clue what we were doing.
"I don't want to meet Rosso. I've got a meeting with the Imperial Princes on Spacebase 22."
"I am very sorry, Master Jimmy. Now, I must obey my lord. The Imperial Princes shall have to wait until you return."
"That's ridiculous." I tried to punch the guy. As luck would have it, he had three arms while I had only two. No matter what I did, he calmly blocked my swings, while steering my plane. "I'm going to kill you!" I screamed.
Trying to strike again, I swung wildly until the Luminerian knocked me back against the wall. I fell down with a resounding thump that eerily echoed through the hull.
"What's going on in here?" Gwen shrieked, arriving to my rescue. "Jimmy, what are you doing down there and why is Napu driving?"
Before I could answer, both Shelly and Tim rushed through the door.
"Move out of my way, you old fart," Shelly snapped.
"Thad, that crazy old woman is here."
"It's Jimmy, Admiral," I sighed, “And, we've been hijacked."
"Hijacked?" Shelly and Gwen both gasped.
"Hijacked?" Tim muttered. "You can't hijack an Allied Spaceforce Starship. Get Engineering on the horn this instant."
"This isn’t a starship, you idiot," Shelly snapped. "We’re travelling in Jimmy’s old spaceplane. Open your eyes and look around you, Tim."
"Now, Gran," Gwen said. "Be patient with him."
"Why should I?" Shelly demanded. "He’s not patient with me."
"Stop it!" I shouted from the floor. I wasn’t hurt. Well, I had scraped my arm a little on the way down but not enough to impair me. I just didn’t feel like getting up. "Napu, where exactly are we going?"
"I told you, Master Jimmy," the Luminerian replied. "I am taking you to Master Rosso. He has requested that I bring you to him, as he has important business to discuss. I do not know anything further regarding what it is about, although I am certain he will explain it all when we arrive in the Black Eye Galaxy."
Chapter 10
Janet
"So, Jerry and I used to drive over to that state park near your place on the coast there in Takira-hahr. 'Jerry', I'd say. 'Someday you're going to buy me my own place on the beach.' 'Yeah? With whose inheritance?' He'd respond. But, then, you know what? He did. Granted, it wasn't a fancy estate on a million acres with our own mountain or ten miles of private sandy beach, but it was nice. I liked it. It suited me fine. Well, actually, the bathrooms and kitchen seriously needed updating, and there was a crack in my bedroom ceiling that seemed to grow larger each time it rained, but I still liked it."
Ron didn’t respond. Actually, he hadn’t said a whole helluva a lot on this trip. He just sat there smoking his cigs, and listening to the music on the speeder’s sound system. I wasn’t bothered by this though. I had worked with him for years, and I knew he could be a moody guy.
Frankly, I’d rather have this pensive silence than him blowing up stuff or ruining the weather.
“Where did you say we are going?” I asked, staring down at the ocean.
After leaving the Jersey coast, we had hung a right, and followed the eastern seaboard for a while. Now, below us, there was nothing but a few scattered islands, and bright blue water that reminded me of Darius II, and not a whole lot else.
“I didn’t say,” he replied.
“Oh, that’s right. You didn’t. You didn't say anything at all. I've been doing all the talking. How about if I shut up now, and you tell me how come I'm so fortunate to go on this adventure with you?"
"You do not wish to be surprised, Janet?"
He blew a smoke ring in the air, and then, waving his finger at the controls, adjusted the music track. Something weird started playing.
Actually, everything he was listening to was totally bizarre. Some of it could have been strings, accompanied by bagpipes, and whistles. There were vocals, I think, if you could call all the screaming singing.
If I were to imagine music in Hell, I'd suspect it would sound just like this. It reminded me of some old rock band I used to listen to when I was a kid. It had been called Satan's Minions, or something like that. I could almost see them performing this same piece on stage, a bunch of guys in white face and black coats, red horns on their heads, and their tongues hanging out, as they smashed guitars. They used to prance around while all us girls screamed. Why I ever listened to that crap, I couldn't fathom now.
"I never knew you liked this kind of stuff," I remarked, also not fathoming why Ron, the Ron, the Emperor and everything else would actually listen to this. "You are full of surprises today, aren't you?"
"Indeed," he smirked. "Surprises are good, are they not?"
"It depends. I don't like the kind of surprises where you find out your husband's spaceplane just exploded, or the planet you were going to go to for vacation was nuked and is now glowing."
He frowned and shrugged, sort of, giving me the impression that I was the oddball for not liking this kind of stuff.
"Some surprises are great," I continued. "This whole adventure is a surprise. Hell, you are a surprise. You want to try explaining why you're here, Ron? And, why is it you don't look like you've aged?"
"You would not like to see how I look at my present age. 'Tis better I appear in this manner for you now."
"How about me? Can you make me look like I'm thirty again? Forty is okay, too. Fifty, not so much."
The speeder started descending, which gave him an excuse not to respond. Not that he ever needed an excuse. He did exactly what he wanted including ignore me even when I was sitting right next to him. He was always like that, and it used to bug me big time back in the day.
I remembered a few times when I was stuck with four exam rooms filled with patients, who Ron was too busy to see. Instead of doing his job, he might have up and decided that he had to go form tornadoes or cause earthquakes, or lock the door and do the dirty with Captain Perfect Bitch. Why I ever liked that job, it was getting hard to remember.
We headed down to one of those little islands, Bahamas, Caribbean, Bermuda, I couldn't tell where we were. In any case, I started to get irritated, more so than I usually was, and wondered if I really wanted to be here with him.
A few days on a tropical beach with Dr. Ron and a Mai Tai had sounded nice. On the other hand, recalling all those times I had to stall for him, make excuses, and take abuse from patients because he wasn't doing his job, brought back a lot of memories, and not necessarily good ones.
If there was one thing Captain Perfect and I could agree on was this guy was a totally insensitive dickhead. Not all the time, mind you, but a good ninety percent of it at least. But, he was hot. Even after all this time, the dude was smoking, and not just from his cigarette. However, something was definitely wrong with this picture, and I was starting to get a little nervous.
"I was thinking I might need to head home," I said casually, glancing out the window as we circled a long runway.
I noted the row of palm trees blowing in the ocean breeze, as the sunlight glinted on the windshield, blinding me with a harsh yellow glare.
"I think I might have left the oven on in the kitchen back in Jersey. I know for sure I left a load of laundry in the washer. If I don't get back fairly quickly, it'll mold, and one of my favorite sweaters is in there. See, my neighbor knit it for me special. I can't let it
rot."
Again, he didn't say a word. Maybe, he had lost his sense of humor although I wasn't certain I had been joking. I imagined being married to Captain Perfect Bitch for the last century probably did that to him. Jerry, on the other hand, gave me a real appreciation for life. He was such a sensitive guy, completely in tune to life and death issues.
As we landed and approached a large building, I got very nostalgic for my dearly departed husband. Jerry was a schmuck, but he was my schmuck, and I missed him, especially right about now.
“Let’s go,” Ron said, opening the door.
“You know what, hon?” I announced. “I’ve changed my mind. In fact, my ankle is really aching. I’m not sure, but I think I was released from the hospital too soon. You wouldn’t mind taking me back there, and postponing this vacation for another time?”
Ron gazed at me through his dark glasses. Then, his lips spread into a wide smile, and his teeth flashed at me. How come after all these years, after I had endured three root canals, and a series of implants, he still had all his original teeth and they were just as white?
“You will do as I say, Janet,” he said, leaving no doubt that he wasn’t in favor of returning me to Jersey. “Get out of the car, and wait for me in the building. Do not leave despite what you may see or hear.”
“Why?”
He didn’t answer, so I opened the door, and unfolded my legs, noting that I was probably too old, and out of shape to be riding in a Porsche.
“Ron,” I started to say, but he didn't look at me.
In fact, he seemed like he was gazing off into space, like his mind was somewhere else. I figured this was either due to Captain Perfect Bitch paging him to come home, or there was a disturbance in the Force, and the Jedis were rallying their defenses against his empire.
In any case, I got out, and limped over to the building, as surprisingly my ankle was back to hurting again. As I admitted myself into a waiting room where the aircon made it colder than Pluto, the Porsche start up again, and immediately flew away.
Being the type of person that I was, when someone told me to stay put, I left as quickly as I could. Of course, being out here in the middle of nowhere didn’t help. In fact, it made the situation difficult to say the least. I was forced to limp on my bad leg through a Bahamanian jungle, where the temperature was ninety degrees with about a hundred and forty percent humidity. By the time I got to what resembled a town, I was feverish, dehydrated, and completely soaked. On top of that, my ankle was about the size of a watermelon, and I don't mean the personal kind that doesn't have any seeds.