by J. Naomi Ay
Inexplicably, I grew jealous, which was a completely irrational thing to be. At this point, my chances with her were virtually non-existent. It sounded like the queue was even longer than it had been in our youth. Not only was the absent Senya a formidable obstruction, but now there was a Rosso, a Luka, along with a Mika, all ahead of me.
On the other hand, only I, Dave Northgate, might be able to save her life. Only I, Dave Northgate could rescue her from this ship.
"Leave me alone," Katie snapped, and unholstering a gun, she drew it up, and shoved it between the strange man's ribs.
“Are you trying to kill me again?” Luka asked, now pulling her against him, locking her tightly in his embrace.
Her hand, and the gun dropped to her side, as he held her chin, and kissed her deeply on the lips. Initially, she seemed unhappy, even struggled a little bit, before apparently, changing her mind, and deciding she liked it.
While I watched them snogging like teenagers at a carwash, envy spread like a cancer in my chest. I wanted to reach for the gun, and shoot that devil myself. But, of course, I didn't do that. Dave Northgate would never instigate a fight.
I almost wished Katie's husband would appear. Certainly, it would be interesting to see those two men battle. In the meantime, I would bravely take Katie’s hand, and pull her out of the way.
“Luka!” Katie gasped, now forcefully pushing him away.
Quickly, I turned around ready to assist, only to find him laughing, and reaching for her again.
“You do remember me!" He exclaimed. "I knew you would. It will all come back to you now.”
“I don’t know about that.” Katie wiped her lips, as if to remove any germs he might have left, her eyes shifting warily from him to me.
“It will,” he insisted, running his hand along her cheek. “You shall recall everything from before, if you only open your mind.”
“I’m tired,” Katie announced. "I really need to get some rest. Would you show us to our cabins, please? I want to be alone."
“Alone? No, you shall stay with me.”
“Luka,” she whispered, huskily. “I need to think. I want to try to remember how it was before. Tell me, which cabin has my bed? I'm going to go lie down, and reflect on all that has happened. When I understand what it means, I'll let you know. Please, let me do this for a little while."
Then, she reached up and kissed his lips, and for another long moment, they were snogging again, while I hummed, and pretended to look out the window.
Luka happily put an arm around Katie's waist, and led her to a door.
“What about me?” I interrupted. "Where am I to go?"
“You? What are you, but her faithful companion? Tell me, darling, where would you like your puppy to sleep? Shall he lie by your door on a mat, or shall I send him back to the chair from whence he came?"
“Let him have a bed, too,” Katie murmured, leaning into Luka as she spoke. “Give him a cabin down the hall where he won’t disturb me.”
She lowered her eyes, and smiled slightly. She pursed her red lips in a way that still made my spine melt. “In the event, I have a visitor tonight, we don’t want anyone to let Mika know.”
“No, of course not. You, go over there.” Luka pointed at the aft section of the plane. “There is a cabin on the left which is yours. Now, leave the lady be, or you shall find yourself floating out in space.”
“Certainly," I replied, and happily trotted away, ready, willing, and able to come when my captain called.
Chapter 17
Jim
“Napu, dude,” I said, sitting down next to him. At least, I think I was somewhere near him. I couldn’t tell exactly because the ship was incredibly dark. And, cold. Man, it was freezing cold. If I had my choice of one or the other, I would have taken dark over cold any day, especially because I hadn’t bothered to bring a coat. “Listen, Napu, friend.”
“Yes, Master Jimmy?”
“Do you know which box will turn everything back on?”
“Yes, Master Jimmy.”
“If I untie you, and take you downstairs, will you turn on the box, and not try to hijack the plane?”
“No, Master Jimmy. My Lord Rosso has said…”
“I already heard that,” I interrupted. “But, he takes every other Tuesday off, so you can’t ask his permission to change the plans.”
“Napu?” Gwen asked from somewhere across the room. Her voice was unsteady, and it sounded like her teeth were chattering. “We’re all going to die if you don’t help us.”
“Do not fear death, Mistress Gwen. Death is only the transition time between our lives.”
“Is that what your Lord Rosso thinks?” I snapped, rising to my feet. I, then realized, I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I sat back down. “What if we don’t want to change lives? What if we’re perfectly happy being here in this one? What does your Lord Rosso say about that, huh?”
“My Lord says time has to happen in the way it is supposed to be. We must all…”
“What?” Shelly shrieked from somewhere near the back of the plane. “What did you say, Napu?”
“We must…”
“No! I want to know what you just said before. Time has to happen…”
“Yes, Mistress. In the way it is supposed to be.”
“Oh good heavens!” Shelly cried, stumbling forward.
“Ow!”
“Sorry, Gwen.”
“Gran, don’t trip!”
“Where is he?” Shelly demanded. “Where is Napu? I want to know who in the hell this Rosso is. Have you seen him? What does he look like? Does he have silver eyes?"
“Leave it, Shelly,” I said, catching her as she fell over my foot. “What are you getting all excited about?”
“He’s quoting something Ron always used to say.”
“Maybe Rosso copied Ron,” Gwen suggested. "It's not like his opinions were a big secret. Everything the Emperor ever uttered was on the news."
“Or maybe, the man is one and the same,” Napu suggested.
“What?”
Now, I was totally confused. I would have asked more, but the ship began to shake.
“What’s going on?” Gwen cried.
“Uh, Jim?” It was Todd calling from the bridge. “You know anything about space slugs, Duke bro, frat friend?”
“No.” I crawled in his direction.
“Well, I think we’ve just been swallowed by one.”
"How do you know?" Gwen asked.
"Well, the slug's mouth opened, and we went inside."
To the slug’s credit, it got much lighter in the cabin, and it also warmed up quickly, which was kind of nice. It did stink like intestinal fluids, which wasn’t exactly a pleasant smell. The forward cockpit windows were covered in slime, a gooey, yellow mucus-like stuff. In fact, the entire plane was probably soaking in it, so it was a good thing I never bothered to have it repainted.
“What do we do now?” Gwen fretted, joining us on the bridge.
“Napu,” I yelled through the door. “Do you know anything about escaping from a space slug?”
“I do,” the Luminerian replied. “However, I will not tell you until you release me."
“No way,” Todd declared. “I don't know about you guys, but I’d rather be digested by an intergalactic garden pest, than end up in the Black Eye Galaxy as slaves to some whacked-out wannabe deity.”
“Wow,” Gwen gasped. “Todd, that was the longest sentence I’ve ever heard you utter.”
“Thank you, Gwenie,” Todd smiled broadly, “Now that the lights are on, can you do me a favor and check the fridge for a beer?”
“We’re going to have to untie Napu,” Shelly announced. “I haven’t lived this long just to be eaten by a slug. Furthermore, this smell is making me sick. It’s worse than living with Tim.”
“Go talk to Napu, Jimmy,” Gwen suggested. “See if you can convince him not to attack us again. Maybe we can come to some kind of understanding. If it has to do with his religi
on or civil rights, we can certainly take it up with the Imperial Princes.”
“Yeah, triple limbed humanoids are suffering from discrimination,” Todd scoffed. “Dual limbs get the best parts in all the movies.” He shifted his position, and scratched his bicep for Gwen’s benefit. “Check out these dual limbs, baby. They’re mighty fine.”
“You’re so annoying, Todd,” Gwen snapped, but not with the usual fire in her voice. "I don't know why Jim ever hired you to fly his plane."
"It's because he owed me big from back in our college days. I kept him from missing his finals after a night of too much beer."
"That was really nice of you." Now, Gwen sat down in the empty co-pilot’s seat. "What was your major?"
Oh God, I thought. My sister is falling for that jerk.
“Sociology,” Todd replied, while I walked away. He flunked out, but I didn't want to tell her.
“Napu.” I sat down on the floor next to all three of the Luminerian’s legs. “Why are you doing this to us? I thought you liked us. Is it something we did or said? If I offered you a raise, would that help? Would you like me to present your grievances to the Imperial Princes? Maybe, there's something we can do to aid your home planet?"
"My home planet was destroyed," Napu said evenly. "I am from Lumineria III, the one which recently suffered from nuclear destruction."
"Oh, I'm sorry, man. That sucks the big one. Did you have family there?"
"I did, but I did not know them. I was one of triplets, but my life was given over to Rosso immediately after I was born. Now you see why I owe everything to him. He is not just my lord, but a father to me. He has asked me to deliver you to his presence, and so I must."
"Alright, well, no one is going to be delivered anywhere if we all become slug poop. How about if I make you a deal, and we agree to take this step by step. I'll untie you, and you get us out of this slug. You turn on the engines, and the power, and everything else. After that, we'll sit down for a chat and figure out exactly what Rosso wants and needs. You never know, he might be happy with a teleconference instead of a face to face meeting."
"I don't think so, Master Jimmy," Napu replied. "However, I will agree not to attack you until we are safely extracted from this space creature."
"That's a start," I conceded, and was about to unbuckle Gwen's horse head belt when the temperature in the cabin rose so much I could barely breath.
"What in the hell is going on in here?" The Admiral stormed into our midst. Again, his uniform was someplace other than on his body.
"Oh, Tim, please!" Shelly groaned. "Nobody wants to see that. For heaven's sake, cover it up!"
"Where is my yeoman, that triple-limbed fellow, Napu?" Tim demanded.
"Over here, Master Admiral." Napu waved a hand from the floor.
"Get to your feet, and stand at attention. Prepare to take notes. I've got a memo to dictate. Thad, why is it so bloody hot in your ship?"
"It's Jim, Gramps, and it's hot because we're inside a slug."
"Well, turn on the engines. Slugs dislike their intestines hot."
"The power is out, Tim," Shelly snapped. "Look around. The lights are off. If you want the engines back on, go downstairs, and turn on the black box yourself."
"You are a nag, and a poor recruit, woman," Tim replied, marching immediately to the ladder, which he proceeded to climb down, and activate the boxes.
"The engines are on!" Gwen squealed from the bridge.
"Turn up the aircon," I yelled to Todd. "We’re all dying back here from the heat."
"What about me?" Napu inquired as all the motors began to hum. Within seconds, we were back to freezing instead of sweating.
"You stay on the floor. Our deal is off. We'll figure out what to do when we find out where we are." As I said this, the slug began to belch.
"Hold on!" Todd yelled. "We're going for a ride."
I grabbed a rail, and held on for my sweet life. A moment later, we were thrust out into open space. We rocked and bounced a little, but once again, we were surrounded by stars. The cabin stabilized while the engines pleasantly hummed.
"Not a bad little plane after all," I remarked. "Is everyone alright?"
"Yes," Gwen responded from the bridge, and then, with a giggle, “But, I fell on Todd’s lap.”
"I hate space travel," Shelly snapped from the galley.
"Thad? Do you know where my uniform is?" The Admiral called from down below.
"Whoa! Look up ahead," Todd remarked. "That slug shot us incredibly far."
Jumping from the floor, I ran to the window, where a synthetic moon was floating just outside. Above it, a flashing red sign read, 'Welcome to Spacebase 22. Commercial and private vessels, please use SpaceBay B. Harbormaster Contact on Channel 16.'
"How about that!" I announced, extraordinarily pleased. "We're exactly where we needed to be, and we didn't even use up any fuel."
"How about that," Shelly agreed, staring at Napu. "Maybe, this was exactly how time was supposed to happen."
"Indeed, Mistress Shelly," the Luminerian replied. "It appears we have done as my lord has commanded."
"What do you mean? He told you to divert us to the Black Eye Galaxy."
"Yes, Master Jimmy, but he never intended for us to end up there. He ordered me to steal the plane so we would be eaten by the slug, and then expelled to arrive at exactly this place and time."
"What?"
I couldn't follow the logic of stealing the plane to go somewhere just to end up somewhere else, which actually happened to be the place we needed to go. However, I didn't care, as now we were descending into the spacebase's docking bay.
"I'm going to treat everyone to dinner,” I announced grandiosely.
"That's nice, Jimmy," Gwen remarked. "Todd, too?"
"Sure. I just saved all that money on fuel. Let's go blow it on beer and synthetic steaks."
"I want to meet Rosso," Shelly announced. “You’re going to take me to him, Napu.”
“He’s not necessarily here, Mistress. He merely wished for us to be.”
“Come on, buddy.” I knelt down and began to untie the Luminerian’s bindings. “You’re the hero in this, despite that idiotic act you tried. Are you up for a tenderloin?”
“No, Master. I do not eat the meat of the genetically modified, synthetic calf. It is prohibited in the Book of Rosso because…”
“I know, I know. You’re lucky he lets you breathe the air, or is that something you can only on Wednesday when football season is over?”
“Sorry?”
“Forget it.”
The plane bumped, and then rolled a bit. The airlocks hissed, and the door seals released.
“We’re here!” Gwen jubilantly cried. “Oh, Todd, you did an excellent job.”
“Spaceman!” The Admiral bellowed. “I could use some assistance here putting on my shorts.”
“Hold on, sir!” I yelled back, fiddling with that horsehead buckle that contained Napu’s arms.
“I’ve got it,” Shelly muttered. “I’m coming, Tim. Hold your horses before you hurt yourself. When we meet up with Ron again, I’m going to make sure he fixes your brain.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my brain, old woman.”
The door to Tim’s cabin swished open, and Shelly went inside.
“There’s nothing wrong with your dick either,” she remarked. “Except that it’s been about twenty years since either of them worked.”
“You can ask your Dr. Ron to fix that too,” Tim chuckled, and then, thankfully, the door swished shut.
“We’re here,” I announced, as Napu stood up and stretched. “The question is, now what are we supposed to do.”
Chapter 18
Tuman
“What the hell happened here?” Hannah gasped as we stood before the gates of the Imperial Palace. “It looks like the entire campus was bombed.”
“I don’t know.” I gazed through the gold bars with the lethal spikes at the top. “Are you certain we are in the righ
t place?”
“Yes,” she snapped, and slapped at my arm. “Get your head together, Tuman. How much Barkuti did you smoke on the way here?”
“I don’t know,” I said again for in truth, I didn’t know, as my head was still swimming amongst the stars.
Up there with the clouds, I had seen my grandfather. He and his brother were both watching me, their faces sour, and filled with scorn, although I didn't know why.
“You are a disgrace to Karupatani,” my grandfather had declared, “And, to all the High Priests who have come before you.”
“It’s not too late, son,” my uncle held out his arms, “Right your ways, and your sins will be atoned. Return to the Holy Books, and the mysteries therein. The people crave your insight in this."
“Tuman!” Hannah nudged me. “Wake up. Look, here comes a guard.”
“Sorry, folks,” he announced. “Palace tours are closed.”
“We’re not here for a tour,” Hannah replied sharply. “Do you recognize me? I am Hannah, Prince Shika’s first wife. I need to see him for an urgent matter.”
The guard eyed her skeptically, and tried to see beneath her face scarf.
“And you, sir?” He asked. “Are you acquainted with the Imperial Prince too?”
“Am I acquainted?” I repeated, suddenly finding this query quite funny. “I have known Shika since the first time he pushed me into the river. I would have drowned by his hand were it not for his Imperial mother’s brave efforts. Since then, he has been as close to me as a brother. I could tell you stories of our adventures when we were just kids that would…”
“Please, Tuman!” Hannah knocked me in the ribs.
“The Imperial Prince is unavailable.” The guard turned his back to us, and made to walk away.
“What about Rent?” Hannah called, her hands clasping the golden gates. “May we speak to Prince Revak? Please, sir. It’s an issue of extreme importance.”
“Rent’s not here either.” The guard shook his head, and although his back was to us, I suspected he was smiling.
“Who else?” Hannah muttered. “There must be someone else still here. How about Kinar? Is there a chance, I could speak to Lord Kinar? His son, Kiman was a friend of mine. I know them both very well. Please, sir. Could you possibly just ring Kinar?”