by Simon Rich
Dedication
Animals
Gifted
Semester Abroad
Sell Out
Guy Walks into a Bar
Family Business
The Tribal Rite of the Strombergs
Distractions
Played Out
Rip
Elf on the Shelf
Upper East Side Ghosts
Big Break
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Simon Rich
Newsletters
Copyright
Copyright
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2014 by Simon Rich
Cover design and art by Jamie Keenan
Cover copyright © 2014 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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First ebook edition: October 2014
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Portions of this book have appeared, in slightly different form, in Medium.com (“Elf on the Shelf”) and The New Yorker / Condé Nast Publications (“Guy Walks into a Bar,” “Family Business,” “The Tribal Rite of the Strombergs,” and “Sell Out”). “Semester Abroad” was originally published in Funny or Die’s The Occasional © 2013, Funny or Die, Inc. All rights reserved.
ISBN 978-0-316-36863-6
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