“I guess I’d better get out there. There’s always a bunch of people who come in at the last minute. I mean, every week. Like they forget what time we close.” I was babbling like an idiot just to fill the uncomfortable silence. And maybe it was that discomfort that led to me dropping what was left of my sandwich on the floor.
“Whoops,” Marcus laughed.
“I told you. I’m clumsy.” I slid out of the chair to my knees, only he was doing the same thing at the same time. We stopped just short of knocking our heads together.
“That would’ve sucked,” I said.
“Yeah. I’ve got a pretty hard head.” He smiled at me and I realized we were only inches away from each other, kneeling on either side of a tuna sandwich. It was the most ridiculous thing in the world, but there we were.
“I think I can take care of this,” I whispered with a shaky laugh.
“I guess you can.” So why did he not move? Why did he still smile the way he was? Why did he lean closer to me and, dear God, why did I lean in, too?
Before I knew it, his hands were on either side of my face and he was pressing his mouth to mine. I was sure my heart would explode, pounding the way it was. Blood rushed in my ears. Was I going to faint? Maybe I was going to faint. Everything was swimmy and hazy.
His mouth fit so perfectly with mine, and his firm lips moved against my lips like they’d been doing it for years. He let go of my face and rested one hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer. I wanted to melt against him. I wanted to let go of all inhibitions. Fireworks were going off in my head by then, and every nerve in my body was screaming in ecstasy because yes, it was finally happening. And it was just as good as I knew it would be.
His tongue probed along my upper lip, and I opened my mouth to let him inside. The kiss deepened. He buried his free hand in my hair and crushed his mouth to mine. I groaned, fingers digging into his shoulders.
Suddenly, he stopped kissing me. Our mouths parted and my eyes opened and I couldn’t feel anything but breathless surprise—and maybe more than a little regret that things had ended so quickly. If we were anywhere else but at the bank, I would’ve let him take things all the way. The knowledge didn’t surprise me the way it should have. Maybe because it felt so right.
He stared deep into my eyes, until something in his eyes changed. They hardened a little. My heart sank.
“I’d better get back out there before somebody comes looking for me. You know how ugly that could get.” I quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor while he got back in his chair. I hoped he wouldn’t look at me, since I could feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment and heady, breathless desire. What an unfortunate combination.
I didn’t look at him before leaving the room. That was a mistake, plain and simple. So what if it felt like a giant hand was squeezing my heart every time I told myself it was? So what if I wanted to tell him that I was glad it happened? It didn’t matter. Sometimes it was more important to do the right thing than it was to do the thing I wanted more than anything in the world.
Especially when he looked so devastated and angry with himself after that kiss.
Chapter Eleven – Marcus
“What are you doing?” I whispered to myself when she left. There was nobody there to hear me. My guilty conscience was the only witness.
I shouldn’t have let her see how furious even the thought of him made me. Coming on to her, being a fucking jackass just the way I thought he was. Giving her shit about me because she wouldn’t go out with him. Because she had taste and was too smart to fall for his bullshit.
And kissing her. What was I thinking with that? Was I trying to hurt her and maybe lose my job? She was too good to hurt like that, and I didn’t think she was the kind of girl who would kiss me like that without caring what happened between us. She was putty in my hands, groaning, gripping my shoulders like her life depended on it. I had almost been able to hear her heart racing. Or maybe it was my heart. Either way, she was extremely into it. I wondered if she’d be able to go back to the way things were before that.
Then again, she was an adult. We were both adults. There was no reason why we couldn’t handle a simple kiss like adults. Right?
I stared at the monitor but hardly saw anything happening in front of me. All I saw were her wide eyes when we pulled away from each other. She was so innocent and good. Maybe that was what drew me to her. I had never known anybody who really cared about others. She didn’t even ask for anything in return.
My phone rang. Pax. It had been a while since we last spoke—I told myself he must’ve been pretty busy if he was willing to go that long without checking in. The man was the biggest control freak I knew, besides myself. “Hey. What’s going on?” I asked when I picked up the call.
“I was just calling you to ask you the same thing. Wondering how it’s going there. I just checked in with Christa but there’s only so much she can tell me about what you do.”
“Gotcha. Well, I wish there was something more I could tell you. I’ve been through weeks of footage and I don’t see a damn thing that sets any one of them apart from the others.”
“Not anything at all?” He sounded more put-out than I’d heard in a long time.
“Let me guess. You’re getting a bunch of pressure on this.”
“Succinct,” he groaned.
“I don’t see why the pressure’s on us. We can’t always do the cops’ work for them.”
“And I agree with you on that, but I don’t think Ricardo sees it that way. Besides, it’s not totally him. The corporate big wigs are pressuring the Commissioner—I guess they all run around in the same circles or something, I don’t know. They sponsor a bunch of stuff the NYPD does throughout the year and all that. Anyway, they’ve been putting a lot of pressure on the police to come up with answers. And the police are leaning on us since we have access to all the surveillance footage.”
“You know I don’t usually talk like this, but they’re more than welcome to come down here and look through the footage if they think they can find something I missed. I’ve been over it with a fine-tooth comb and I know every little tic and habit of every single person in this bank. But still, there’s nothing setting anybody apart.”
“Not even Lauren Jones?”
“Not even her. Especially not her.”
“Why especially not?”
Bad choice of words. I found myself at a loss to explain what I meant. He didn’t need me to explain, anyway. “Am I going to have to have the same talk with you that I’ve had with some of the other agents?”
“No.”
“You sure about that?”
“What would the point even be?” I asked, which I thought was pretty reasonable. “I mean, you had that talk with them and look at all the good it didn’t do.”
“You’re walking a fine line, as usual.”
“I don’t mean to. I’m only half-serious. Anyway, you’re misreading me. I say especially not her because she’s, like, the bank’s one-woman pep squad. Delivering candy and cookies, watering the desk plants when she notices they’re looking a little dry—even when they’re not on her desk.”
“Thoughtful or obsessive?” he asked.
I chose to ignore that. “She’s the most cheerful, thoughtful, hardworking person in this bank. I say that with complete confidence.”
He sighed. “Christa said the same thing. I’m pretty sure they’d be besties if things worked out differently.”
“See? You know what a solid judge of character Christa is. She can see through bullshit a mile away. What’s that tell you?”
“That she’s desperate for more estrogen in her life. She also made a comment earlier about spending too much time working around men. Maybe I should hire more women?”
I snorted. “I wouldn’t complain.”
“You wouldn’t have anything to complain about either way because you’d be down in your basement, right?” Right. The basement. Funny how I thought I would look forward to gettin
g back there. It hadn’t even been a full week but it felt like a month, maybe longer. And I felt further away from the basement all the time.
“Something like that.”
“Here’s the thing: I’m running short on agents.”
“What?” Talk about an abrupt change of topic.
“There’s almost more work than we can handle here. Every one of my active field agents is out there right now, and I’m considering promoting a few of the lower level guys like Jerrod and Kyle just to be sure I have enough manpower.”
I waited for him to explain why he was telling me that. When he didn’t right away, I prompted him. “What’s this leading to?”
“See, I’m trying to come up with a nice way to explain this to George. He’s currently our lowest-paying client and, frankly, Lauren isn’t in clear danger. Meanwhile, we’ve got a battered wife with a husband who doesn’t believe in abiding by his restraining order, an attempted murder survivor who thinks his business partner is trying to have him killed, a mafia rat about to go into witness protection and a handful of others. See my problem?”
“You want to drop the job?” I had worked with the agency for years, and never once had Pax even suggested turning down work—especially work we were in the middle of.
“I’m starting to run out of options here. I hate to do it. I don’t want to earn a reputation for turning my back on people in need who are willing to pay.”
“Still, there’s such a thing as prioritizing your work.”
“Pretty much. I thought I would give you the heads up. We might be pulling out pretty abruptly.”
Pulling out. What would she think about that? What would happen if I disappeared all of a sudden? Just took the cameras out of her apartment—that could happen while she was at work, even—and never came back? Especially after the stupid move I made by kissing her?
“Marcus?”
“Sorry. Sometimes the signal is a little poor in here.” I held my head in my free hand.
“I told Christa, too. There’s a chance I’m going to have to pull her off the case. She was more upset than I expected.”
“Lauren has that effect on people.”
“Apparently. Sometimes I wonder if that girl’s not a little too good to be true. I mean, just because there’s no proof she did it doesn’t mean she didn’t—because there’s no proof anybody else did. She’s still the only person the cops can prove were in the bank that night.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“I’m just saying. Don’t let yourself get sucked in by her, too.”
I waited a beat before replying. “She hasn’t sucked me in.”
“You might want to think about that before you sound so sure.” I couldn’t wait to get off the phone after that. Mostly because I knew he was right. I only wished he had reminded me of that before I made a possible mistake with her.
There she was, filling in at Monica’s window because of the few last-minute customers who came in just before closing. Smiling, making small talk. The customers smiled, too. I wondered if there was more to her than I wanted to imagine. What had happened to the clear, logical mind I had always given myself credit for? Just because she was beautiful and kind—at least on the surface—didn’t mean she was incapable of doing bad things. It was always the most charming people, usually attractive and smart, who got away with crime because nobody would ever guess they were capable.
The clock was ticking down, and I knew she’d look at me all expectantly when we crossed paths before leaving. I could make things a lot easier and wait behind until she left—but no, because she had to lock up. Then I’d make up an excuse for having to get out of there fast. No sense getting closer to her when we were going to be out of there at any moment.
That plan would’ve worked beautifully, too, if Christa hadn’t poked her head into the room just before I was about to leave. “Pax needs to see me at headquarters right away. Would you mind driving her home and maybe sticking around for a little while until I get back?”
Son of a bitch. “Yeah, sure.” What the hell could Pax want that was so important? Was he already reassigning her? And I thought I felt guilty after kissing her. I didn’t know it could get worse.
That’s how I ended up in the car with Lauren when all I wanted to do was avoid her. Just like I had imagined, she had a sort of expectant look on her face the entire way back to her apartment.
“I’m sure Pax won’t keep Christa for too long,” I mumbled.
“Hmm? Oh. Sure. I’m not worried about it.”
“I’m just saying. I don’t think it’ll be long before she comes back and you guys can do whatever it is you were planning on doing today.”
She snorted. “We hadn’t exactly planned on anything. It’s not like we’re a couple.”
I snorted, too. “You know what I mean.”
She fell silent, and I followed her lead. It wasn’t until I was parking in the garage across from her apartment building that she said, “I’m sure you’re the one who has other things to do. I’m sorry to hold you up like this.” Black hair hung in a waterfall over the side of her face, blocking her from me. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking when I couldn’t see her expression.
“Don’t sweat it.”
“You just sound like you’d rather get a root canal, that’s all.” When she turned to me before getting out of the car, her eyes were troubled. That wide, innocent, surprised look from earlier was gone. “I’m just saying. If what happened earlier is a big problem for you, let’s just forget about it. We’ll pretend it never happened. And it’ll certainly never happen again.”
The finality in her voice should’ve made me feel better. It did just the opposite. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was letting something slip between my fingers. Something good and right and important.
Even so, it was for the best. “I didn’t think it would. I’m sorry—I gave in during a moment of weakness. I mean, you’re a really beautiful girl, and I like you a lot. I’m a professional, though. I should’ve worked harder not to give in.”
“I understand.” She nodded slowly. “And I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be an issue. As far as I’m concerned, it never happened.”
“Great. I can live with that.” I hoped I sounded more convinced than I felt.
Chapter Twelve – Lauren
“Do any of them look familiar?” Ricardo slid the photos closer to me, like that would help. It was Wednesday and he was becoming more desperate for answers all the time.
I did the best I could. “I don’t even know if it was a man or a woman. I don’t remember anything.”
“Just try.” I sensed he wanted to be kind and supportive. I also sensed he wanted to scream at me to get my act together. Nothing he could say to me would be worse than what I said to myself every time I tried to recall that night and couldn’t.
“I’m trying. I really am.” He leaned back in his chair, turning his face away from me. “I’m sorry. I can’t accuse somebody who didn’t do it, you know? I mean, just to make things easier.”
He was quiet for a long time. I felt my soul dying just a little more with every passing second of silence. Finally, he said, “I can only keep the spotlight off you for so long, Lauren. I can’t keep telling my bosses you’re innocent when you have nothing to give me. You’re starting to look like a participant.”
“I’m not.”
“I know you keep saying that, but that doesn’t make it true. I can’t close a case on a pinkie swear. None of the higher-ups want to hear that you don’t remember. None of the higher-ups at the bank want to hear it, either.”
“I realize this. This is why I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in a week-and-a-half. I understand how important this is and I feel terrible over it.”
An incredulous look crossed his face. “This isn’t just something to feel terrible over. Don’t you get it? You’re not just holding up the case. You’re making it harder not to focus the investigation on you.”
; That wasn’t easy to hear. I folded my hands in my lap and looked down at them. “Yeah. I know.”
“And that doesn’t do anything to help jog your memory? Anything at all?”
“Even if it did, what difference would it make? I doubt that whoever it is was walking around wearing a nametag that night.”
“Try to remember who you’re talking to, Miss Jones.” He stood and buttoned his suit jacket. “I’m trying to make this easier on you, but I can’t if you don’t cooperate.” I sat alone for a while after he left the conference room. What a nightmare.
I had to do something. I couldn’t let the world fall apart around me. I was never one to take the bull by the horns—it was easier and safer to let life do its thing while I went along with it. I had plans for my future, of course, but when little everyday things happened I was the sort of person who let it go. Getting cut off in traffic or in line at the supermarket? I’d pretend it didn’t bother me. The one time the guy at the coffee shop gave me the wrong order? I drank it even though I hated every sip. I wasn’t good at standing up for myself.
This was different. This wasn’t a skinny caramel macchiato when I wanted a non-fat mocha. This was my entire life.
I needed somebody to talk to, but Christa was at headquarters—Pax had called her in for some reason or another, and Marcus was supposed to be the agent in charge of me while she was gone. Not like I needed anybody in charge of me. I wasn’t a dangerous person, and I wasn’t in danger. It felt pointless, having somebody watching over me all the time.
I knocked at the door to the security room. He was probably in there. I hoped he was alone.
“Yeah?” I took that as permission to open the door. He had to see me—there was a camera trained on where I stood. When I walked in, he was going through old footage.
“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you.”
“It’s not a bother. I’m your agent today, anyway.” He waited for a while, then looked over at me when I didn’t reply. “What’s up?”
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