Colonel Fitzwilliam's Dilemma

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by Wendy Soliman


  “Your aunt will ring a peal over me if I attempt to do so. The thought of a tedious lecture about the responsibility I bear for the Pemberley heir will be enough to keep me in line.”

  “Then for once I have reason to be obliged to my aunt, provided you do not treat her lecture as a challenge and disregard it.” Will’s expression darkened. “I beg you not to make me worry about you, my love.”

  Lizzy reached up and kissed his lips. “You have just said the only thing that will make me obey you. You start to understand my character and know precisely how to treat me.”

  “Thank you. Now I must go. I will see you at luncheon.”

  Lizzy watched her husband leave, lay back and closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the masculine aroma that lingered on his pillow and which was so uniquely him. It was ridiculous really. They had been married long enough that she ought to be over her initial infatuation with him. Goodness only knew being mistress of Pemberley ensured she had plenty with which to occupy her time. Lizzy hugged Will’s pillow to her breast, making a mental note to ask Jane if she still felt obsessed with her Mr. Bingley and missed him the moment he left the room.

  Laughing at her foolishness, Lizzy rang the bell. Jessie brought up her breakfast tray and then helped her wash and dress. Lizzy went down but none of her guests were anywhere to be seen. She glanced out of her sitting room window and noticed Anne de Bourgh sitting alone in the herb garden, a sketch pad on her lap. Anxious to speak with her alone and equally anxious to avoid Lady Catherine, Lizzy slipped out a side door and joined her.

  “I hope I am not disturbing you.”

  “Not in the least, Mrs. Darcy.”

  “Oh please call me Lizzy. We are related now, after all. And I hope I may address you as Anne.”

  “I would like that. So few people do. They are too afraid of what my mother will say if they presume to be familiar. Besides, I have never had any close friends.”

  “Well I am not afraid of your mother and so Anne it is. And you now have a friend in me if you will allow it.”

  “With the greatest of pleasure.”

  “That’s settled then.” Lizzy smiled. “What are you drawing?”

  “I was trying to capture a likeness of those herbs growing against that fountain, but I think I am being too ambitious.”

  “Let me see.”

  Lizzy examined Anne’s sketch. It was rudimentary, but still better than anything Lizzy could have achieved.

  “What do you think? There is no necessity to be kind. I know I have a long way to go before I will not be ashamed of my efforts.” Anne said. “If that ever happens.”

  “I am no expert, but there is a certain rustic charm in your image. I am sure Mr. Asquith will be able to tell you what to do to improve it, but you wouldn’t thank me for offering you advice. I cannot draw to save my life.”

  Anne appeared surprised by the admission. “I thought there was nothing you could not do.”

  “Did you really?” Lizzy blinked. “What a very strange image you have of me, but it is hardly deserved. I am not nearly as accomplished as you appear to think. I am very outspoken I suppose, which people often mistake for confidence. It is just that I never have been able to hold my tongue, especially if I think someone else has spoken out of turn or has been unjust. That trait has landed me in all manner of trouble.” Lizzy emitted an embarrassed little laugh. “But it is hardly my fault if I always have firm opinions upon every conceivable subject.”

  “Whereas I never have anything to say that people wish to hear.”

  “That once might have been true, about you’re not speaking, I mean. But since your health has improved, I can see a vast difference in you.” Lizzy smiled. “I believe Mr. Asquith must take some credit for that.”

  Anne blushed. “Yes. I was terrified of him when Mama first engaged him as my tutor. I never would have expected her to do such an unorthodox thing.”

  “I must say it surprised us too.”

  “He was very kind right from the start and very patient. Most surprisingly of all, he did not treat me like an invalid.” Anne paused, lost in reflection, her sketch abandoned. “People had been treating me as though I was a weakling for so long that I suppose I had started to believe I was. But Mr. Asquith made no allowances for my supposed infirmities and I gradually started to feel…well, normal I suppose.”

  “Then he is to be congratulated, because I see a completely different side to you.”

  “Thank you, but I am still very dull and uninteresting.”

  “No you are not.” Lizzy patted her hand. “Never think that way.”

  “Mr. Asquith has taught me to aspire to things I had always supposed were beyond me, but now I…well, perhaps that wasn’t such a good thing. If one does not have expectations then one cannot be disappointed when they are not realised.”

  “Because you cannot have your heart’s desire?”

  Anne’s head shot up. “Whatever do you mean?”

  Lizzy smiled. “Mr. Asquith is very elegant, very charming. Were you to have formed an attachment towards him I can quite understand how it would have happened.”

  “Is it that obvious?” Anne shot Lizzy a startled look. “Mama would dismiss him on the spot if she had the slightest notion. I am here because…well I am not supposed to know but I’m not quite the numbskull Mama supposes me to be.”

  Lizzy’s heart went out to the poor girl. “I am sure your mother only has your best interests at heart.”

  “Yes, I dare say.”

  “You must not feel pressured to do things you would prefer not to.”

  “I am not you, Lizzy. Besides, I have always known what is expected of me.”

  Lizzy didn’t quite know how to respond, but seeing Mr. Asquith approaching, their intimate conversation had to end anyway, which was probably just as well.

  “We are friends now Anne,” Lizzy said, standing. “Please feel free to talk to me about anything at any time.”

  “Thank you. That means a great deal to me.” Anne paused. “As I said before, I have never had a friend to confide in and I am only now beginning to realise what I have missed.”

  Lizzy returned to the house thinking that was one of the saddest, most poignant statements she had ever heard. Having grown up surrounded by four sisters, not having a confidant would have been unthinkable. Poor Anne. Born into all that money and privilege and yet she was lonely and completely lacking in self-confidence.

  ***

  Jane and Mr. Bingley arrived in the middle of the afternoon. Lizzy and Will greeted them with informality and great affection. Jane looked tired and drawn.

  “I should not have asked you to come,” Lizzy said, feeling guilty as the sisters embraced. “The journey was too much for you.”

  “You are as bad as Charles. It is only ten miles. Besides, I am curious to meet Lady Catherine.”

  “She terrifies me,” Kitty said, taking her turn to hug Jane. “I don’t know how Lizzy finds the courage to stand up to her.”

  “It is that or allow her to dictate, which is unthinkable.”

  “Who is that gentleman?” Jane asked, glancing through the drawing room window and seeing Mr. Asquith assisting Lady Catherine and Anne from the carriage that had taken them into the village.

  “A very good question,” Lizzy replied. “And one I would like to know the answer to myself.”

  ***

  Joshua spent the day with Darcy, which gave him a legitimate excuse to avoid squiring his cousin Anne. Seeing Darcy at his most efficient, handling the management of his estate with skill and intelligence, reminded Joshua that a similar future was his for the taking. All that was required of him was to marry his cousin. Common sense told him to grasp the opportunity with both hands and thank Lady Catherine for her benevolence.

  So why did he hesitate?

  Darcy made no mention of the possible union, but it was as though he was trying to show Joshua what he could expect if he decided to go ahead. He would be a fool not to, he th
ought, sitting astride his horse and surveying Darcy’s land which stretched as far as the eye could see. So too did the land attaching to Rosings.

  Joshua could see changes for the better in his cousin. She was no longer a timid church mouse, and occasionally offered up an opinion of her own when there was the least likelihood of its being heard. She made no effort to single Joshua out and her response when he had addressed a remark to her the previous evening had been stilted, almost indifferent. It was evident the prospect of their union held no more joy for Anne than it did for Joshua. It had not previously occurred to him that she might be as averse to the idea as he was, having assumed she would do as she was told by her mother because she always had in the past.

  Joshua slid his arms into the coat his man held out for him and stood still as Cox brushed imaginary specks from the shoulders. His next move ought to be to speak privately and candidly with Anne, discover precisely how she felt about her mother’s proposal and then decide how best to proceed. Anne looked a great deal better than she usually did and no longer hid beneath several layers of shawls for fear of catching a chill. She had altered in subtle ways and as Joshua tripped lightly down the stairs he determined to discover who or what had wrought such changes in her. He was equally determined that Anne would speak honestly about her feelings. He understood Lady Catherine’s determination to see the Rosings estate pass into capable hands but those hands would not be Joshua’s if they came at the expense of her daughter’s happiness. He did not love Anne de Bourgh but he did feel a duty of care towards her and would not force her into a loveless marriage against her will.

  Darcy, Bingley, and Asquith were already in the drawing room. Joshua was received warmly by his host and accepted a glass of whisky from him with a nod of thanks. Turner and Halstead followed on his heels and were provided with refreshment also.

  “Our neighbours are joining us for dinner this evening,” Darcy told them. “Lord and Lady Briar and Lady Briar’s sister, Mrs. Sheffield. Did you happen to know Mrs. Sheffield’s late husband, Asquith? I believe he made his fortune in Jamaica.”

  “The name is not familiar,” Asquith replied, shaking his head. “but then a lot of Englishmen have interests in Jamaica. I am acquainted with only a few of them.”

  “Yes of course, but sometimes these coincidences happen.”

  Joshua’s instincts told him Asquith had not answered Darcy’s question honestly but what possible reason would he have to lie about it? Not that it mattered to Joshua. He had problems of his own to wrestle with and dismissed the matter from his mind.

  “How are you enjoying your new estate, Bingley?” Joshua asked instead.

  “Very much indeed,” Bingley replied with great enthusiasm. “It is exactly right for us in all respects. I shall enjoy sharing it with my family, although my sisters seem quite determined to remain in London for the present time, which I own surprises me.”

  “They probably want to give you time to adjust to married life,” Darcy said hastily. “After all, they were always with you in Hertfordshire, as was Mrs. Bennet.”

  Bingley pulled a wry face. “That is certainly true.”

  Joshua said nothing, but knew the real reason why Bingley was denied his sisters’ company. Miss Bingley had recruited Wickham to help her undermine Eliza’s position during a house party at Pemberley a few weeks previously. Supposing Darcy to have made a mistake in marrying Eliza, which she believed he himself had come to regret, she had also convinced herself that she was the true object of Darcy’s affections. It was Darcy’s contention she was quite mad, an opinion which was supported by the best medical brains in the business.

  Darcy’s price for not informing Bingley of his sister’s treachery was that she undergo treatment for her condition. Mrs. Hurst had taken it upon herself to ensure that happened. Miss Bingley would never be invited to Pemberley again of course, so how that could be avoided if she returned to the north and resided with her brother was a problem Joshua didn’t envy Darcy having to wrestle with. There could be no doubt that Bingley, if he discovered the truth, would be devastated. Joshua knew Eliza was especially keen for it not to come to light, at least until after her sister’s confinement.

  The ladies joined them, and the conversation became more general. Even before the neighbours arrived, they were a lively party. Lady Catherine attempted to dominate proceedings, but was generally ignored as proper deference was shown to Mrs. Darcy. Joshua considered joining his cousin but she was engaged in animated conversation with Asquith, causing Joshua to wonder if that gentleman could be the cause of the changes in Anne’s demeanour. Indeed, looking up at him as she was at that moment, eyes sparkling, cheeks slightly flushed, she appeared almost pretty.

  Joshua noticed Lady Catherine watching them, a slight frown marring her brow. He moved to join Anne and her tutor and engaged the pair in polite conversation. If that was the way the wind blew then Joshua would not stand in his cousin’s way, provided of course Asquith wasn’t just a fortune hunter. He would make it his business to find out a great deal more about his circumstances and satisfy himself on that score.

  Still unsure why he felt so relieved to have possibly talked himself out of a comfortable future, the answer became obvious when the door opened and Simpson announced Lord and Lady Briar and Mrs. Sheffield. His eyes were drawn to Mrs. Sheffield as a moth to a flame, and the breath left his body in an audible whoosh. It felt as if his entire life had been leading up to this moment, and his disinclination to marry his cousin now made perfect sense.

  The lady who captured his complete attention was extremely beautiful, with a profusion of dark blonde curls, and an adorable air of vulnerability that made Joshua yearn to protect her, even though he was unsure if there was anything she needed to be protected from. Her face was dominated by large, exceedingly blue eyes that showed intelligence and strength of character. Although no longer in mourning, she was modestly gowned in grey silk which clung to her svelte form and sent Joshua’s mind spiralling in all sorts of inappropriate directions.

  Joshua Fitzwilliam waited patiently for the introductions to be performed.

  Chapter Six

  As a general rule, Anne found crowded drawing rooms rather daunting. Either she was dismissed as an irrelevance or people insisted upon talking at her incessantly, ingratiating themselves for reasons of personal advancement. No one seemed interested in her for her own sake and she could think of nothing amusing or interesting to say when people insisted upon singling her out. How very dull they must think her.

  This evening, she felt very differently. Everyone appeared relaxed and comfortable with one another, not a sycophantic social climber in sight. One of the advantages of being invisible in a crowd, she soon discovered, was that she could look at Mr. Asquith for as long as she wished, admiring his elegant person and pleasing manners without anyone noticing her growing obsession with that gentleman.

  “Are you enjoying the change of scenery, Miss de Bourgh?” As though sensing her watching him, Mr. Asquith approached her and instigated a conversation. Mesmerised, she watched his long fingers curling around the stem of his glass, much as she enjoyed watching them curl around the sides of a book when he read aloud to them, wishing they could be embracing her hand instead. Ye gods, what was happening to her? “Your relatives appear relaxed this evening.”

  “Oh…er, yes. I was just now thinking the same thing.” She summoned up a smile, conscious of her mother observing them closely from across the room. She was simultaneously quizzing Georgiana about something, but that did not prevent her from also glaring at Anne. She must take better care not to allow her true feelings to show. Lizzy had already noticed but if Mama had done so surely she would have said something? Still it would be better not to give her any reason to suspect. Her days with Mr. Asquith were numbered, she knew that very well and she was determined to make the most of every last one of them before they were separated for good. “It is a long time since I was last at Pemberley. I had forgotten how much I lik
e it here. Mr. Darcy seems so much less severe since his marriage.”

  “From what little I know of Mrs. Darcy, it is my opinion he could not have chosen a more suitable wife.” Mr. Asquith fixed her with a probing glance. “I am so very glad he found her.”

  What could he mean by that statement, Anne wondered. Was he aware that her mother had hoped to see her married to Mr. Darcy? Could it really be? Her heart swelled with hope, even though such hope was…well, hopeless. “Yes, as am I.”

  “The countryside is very different from Kent.”

  “Yes, indeed. The peaks are rugged yet quite starkly beautiful.”

  Anne’s heart lurched when she noticed Colonel Fitzwilliam approaching them even though it was unreasonable to suppose she could keep Mr. Asquith to herself for long. She assumed Mama had already spoken with him and he was here to press his suit. Why would he not be? Rosings was a rich prize, well worth a little effort on his part. Anne was surprised and a little ashamed at the uncharitable turn her thoughts had taken. Were it not for Mr. Asquith, she supposed she would not have minded marriage to her cousin too much. He would most likely treat her with kindness. He did not possess Mr. Darcy’s taciturn disposition and had on one or two occasions during his annual visits to Rosings actually made Anne laugh.

  Even so, the thought of committing herself to such a man—to any man other than Mr. Asquith—appalled her. She had fallen deeply and passionately in love with a man her mother would never permit her to marry.

  “Rain is expected tomorrow,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said, “and Mrs. Darcy is proposing amateur dramatics to keep us all entertained.”

  “A play?” Anne frowned. “If you are suggesting I should take part Colonel, I am not sure I could—”

  “I have been asked to organise something but it looks as though we will not have enough willing players. Can I persuade you to take pity on me, Miss de Bourgh, and help to make up the numbers?” Mr. Asquith flashed a charming smile that caused Anne to go weak at the knees and sent colour flooding to her cheeks. When he looked at her in that particular manner, making it seem as if only she could save the day, it was impossible to deny him anything. “It would be a sorry way for me to repay Mrs. Darcy’s hospitality if I cannot even interest sufficient players, and so I must throw myself upon your mercy.”

 

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