My heart thundered in my chest as I stared into his gaze, the heat in them singeing me. “Then quit.”
He shook his head, his lips twitching with another smile. “Can’t do that.”
I popped out a hip as he worked my very last nerve. “Why the hell not?”
Ashton stepped into my space, bringing his intoxicating scent with him. He stopped with just a couple inches separating us, my breasts brushing against his button-down shirt with every one of my labored breaths.
“Millie,” he said, his voice so deep it sent chills down my spine. “You’re in danger right now. There’s no way in hell I’m trusting anyone else to keep you safe.”
He reached out and grasped my chin, tilting my face so he could stare into my eyes. “When this is all over, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
He let his hand fall and took a step back. “But until then, I can’t go there. I won’t go there. Your safety is my only focus. My number one priority. I won’t let whatever this is between us get in the way of that.” Ashton took another step back, and then another. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
I didn’t answer as I watched him turn around and walk out of my apartment. The moment the door closed, I let out a deep breath and looked around.
How had I lived here for eighty years and in only one day, it felt empty without Ashton?
His excuses and explanations swirled through my head, confusing me and frustrating me equally. Finally, I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breath.
It’s okay.
I’m okay.
This didn’t break me.
In fact, it only encouraged me.
I knew Ashton wanted me as much as I wanted him. Just like I knew his excuses were bullshit.
A plan formed in my head and my lips curled into a smile as it solidified. I was going to show Ashton exactly what he was missing out on and see how long it took him to cave. I had a feeling I’d be needing a new bodyguard soon.
Chapter 8
Ashton
“McGraw.”
“How are things going?” Alexander’s voice came through the speaker of my phone, just as brusque as usual.
I stuffed the cell between my shoulder and ear as I cleaned up after myself in the kitchen. I’d brought some pots and pans to leave here for a while so I could cook something that wasn’t as chewy as a dog treat.
“Uneventful,” I finally said.
Alexander blew out a deep breath. “That’s good. We still have people trying to flush out the guy behind all this, but it’s slow going.”
Which was the last thing I wanted to hear.
Walking away from Millie the night before had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. The look in her emerald eyes almost made me give in right then and there. But her safety was more important. It had to be.
Loud music blared from down the hall and I knew she was up.
“What the fuck is that?” Hausle asked.
I frowned. “You can hear that?”
“I’m a vampire.”
I chuckled. “Oh yeah. I guess Millie is up for the night.”
“Okay, I’ll let you go. Let me know if anything comes up on your end.”
“And you keep me informed of what’s going on with your guys.”
“That’s not happening, McGraw.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because you’re not a vampire. Because you’re not a Parliament guard. Because you’re already far too fucking involved.”
“If I’m already involved, I might as well be kept in the loop.”
“I’ll talk to you later,” he said and hung up.
I shoved my cell back in my pocket as I stored my leftovers for lunch tomorrow. It was annoying to be kept in the dark like this. I had skills that he could be putting to use. Just because I wasn’t a vampire didn’t mean I couldn’t help.
The music got louder and I could make out the heavy metal guitar and the sultry drumbeat coming from her room. Moments later, I heard her heels clacking down the hallway.
“Hey, Millie,” I said, my back still to her.
I should turn around.
I needed to turn around.
But I had way more control over my libido with my back to her. I knew once I saw her, it would be just as hard to keep my hands to myself as it had been the night before.
And the night before, I’d almost fucking caved.
“Hey, Ashton. How was today?”
I gritted my teeth and spun around to her, regretting it instantly.
Millie was in jeans so tight they looked like they’d been painted onto her curves. On top, she was wearing a shirt so small it barely covered her breasts, leaving so much creamy skin visible my hands shook.
I stood there staring like an idiot for way too long and she finally giggled.
“Ashton?”
I blinked the haze out of my eyes and stood up straight again. “Yeah?”
Her bright gaze met mine as her lips twitched with a smile. “How did things go today?” she asked again, slower this time.
I shook my head and looked back down at my leftovers. It was a much safer view. “Oh. Uh. Things were fine. No one came by or anything. I just got off the phone with Hausle though.”
She walked closer, bringing her expensive perfume with her and clouding my head again. “What did he have to say?”
I pressed on the closed lid of my Tupperware, even though I already knew it was secured tightly. But I was having trouble concentrating on anything else but her, and I needed to keep my hands busy before they found their way to her hips.
“He just said they’re still working on taking down the main guy.”
She nodded slowly as she jumped up onto the counter and crossed her long legs. “That’s good at least.”
I peeked up at her, wondering if she was actually as excited as I was about the prospect of this assignment ending. Because I’d never wanted to lose a job more in my life.
I stuffed my container of food into a grocery bag and finally met her eyes again. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair, then.”
She smiled with a shrug. “You’re not bothering me.”
No.
But if I stayed here another minute, there was a very good chance I’d rip that tiny top off her and bury my face in her chest, and I couldn’t do that.
Wouldn’t do that.
I cleared my throat. “Right. Well, have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll walk you to the door,” she said. Millie hopped off the counter, making her breasts bounce, and now I knew she wasn’t wearing a bra. Which instantly made my dick hard.
I cleared my throat again. “Okay,” I said, my voice hoarse.
Her perfume never left me as I walked toward the front door, her heels clicking behind me.
“You know you can leave your food here, right?”
I didn’t dare turn around. I couldn’t risk it yet. “This is dinner tonight.”
“Okay, well if you ever need to leave stuff here you’re welcome to. Obviously, I don’t use the kitchen,” she said with a giggle.
That sound made my dick ache.
I finally reached the door and blew out a breath of relief. I cautiously turned to her and found Millie closer than I’d expected. Close enough for me to see every shade of green in her eyes. Close enough for me to smell the shampoo in her copper hair.
I grit my teeth and fisted my hands. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
She nodded. “Have a good night!” she called from the doorway as I hurried down the hall.
Hopefully, she didn’t notice how fast I was moving, but I couldn’t stop. I needed to get out of her presence and away from her scent as soon as possible. I just wasn’t strong enough to be that close to her and keep my damn hands to myself.
Just as I reached the elevator, the doors opened, and a man stepped off. I gave him a nod as we passed each other and then watched him head down the hall as I waited.
&nbs
p; He passed apartment after apartment until he finally stopped at one.
My insides twisted painfully as I watched him knock on Millie’s door. Before she could open it, the elevator closed and started descending to the ground floor.
I clenched and unclenched my fists as I tried to take deep breaths and convince myself not to go back up there.
A hundred excuses flitted through my head and I shot each of them down.
I couldn’t go back there.
I couldn’t find out why that man was going to her apartment. I had enough theories to keep me up all night, but I didn’t want any of them confirmed.
When I turned her down, I’d had no idea she’d find someone else. Especially this quickly.
She was all I could think about. All I wanted. I couldn’t imagine calling any of the women I knew to warm my bed for the night when there was only one woman I really wanted there.
It was okay, though.
She didn’t need to be anything more than an assignment. She didn’t need to plague my thoughts and haunt my dreams.
I’d do my job, keep her safe, and then I’d move on like I had every other time.
Millie didn’t have to mean anything more.
I just had to convince myself of that.
***
I started packing the moment I heard her music start up–reggaeton this time. If today was going to be anything like yesterday, I needed to get out of here as soon as possible.
I’d just finished getting my shit together when there was a knock on the door. I palmed the gun on my hip as I walked over to check the peephole. The guy I saw knocking on her door yesterday was out there, and I felt my blood pressure soar.
I unlocked the deadbolt and cracked it open. “Can I help you?”
The guy frowned. “I’m here to see Millie.”
I opened my mouth even though I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but I never got the chance. Millie herself came hurrying over, bringing her intoxicating scent with her.
“Oh, hi Jason! Come in,” she said as she pushed past me to open the door wider.
Jason looked at me warily, and I was pretty sure I knew why.
My jaw was aching with how hard I was gritting my teeth, and my knuckles were turning white as I fisted them at my sides. My eyes jumped to Millie for the first time, and I instantly wished I hadn’t.
She was dressed in tight leather pants and an itty-bitty top that was only attached by a couple strings around her back. One tug on the end and she’d be naked from the waist up.
What the fuck was going on?
“Everything go okay today, Ashton?” Millie asked.
I shook my head and met her eyes. “Yes. Everything was fine.”
What wasn’t fine was the asshole she’d just let in her apartment for the second day in a row. Those words were on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back.
I couldn’t be sure my concerns were based on her safety and not my hurt ego. My first instinct was to tell her to make him leave. That I didn’t want them alone in here without me around, but that was ridiculous.
She was a grown woman. A vampire woman. She could more than take care of herself after the sun set. She didn’t need me once the sky turned dark, which meant I needed to go. My job was done for the day and the longer I stood in their presence, the more I wanted to knock this guy the fuck out.
Even now, his beady eyes were riveted on her ass, and I wanted to punch him. I cleared my throat and his gaze jumped to mine. At least the bastard had the decency to look embarrassed I’d caught him staring.
“Okay,” Millie said, interrupting my violent thoughts. “Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” She smiled, and even though I was ready to fucking break something, it still had the power to soften me.
I nodded once, my jaw so tight I could barely speak. “Yes. I’ll be here.”
She nodded before looping her arm around Jason’s elbow and leading him further into her apartment. I stood there watching them leave for a moment, my insides at war.
One part of me wanted to rip her away from him and toss that asshole out the door.
The other part knew I had no right to do that. But that part wasn’t as loud as the first part, and that was a problem.
I yanked my gaze away from her and stormed out the door, using the last of my self-control to quietly close it behind me instead of slamming it like I wanted to. I had no right to be angry because I’d done this to myself.
Had I expected her to wait for me? Why would she do that? She owed me nothing. I was just a guy she fucked once who got hired to watch over her. Nothing more.
So then, why did leaving them alone in that apartment twist my gut so painfully? Why did this feel like a betrayal when it wasn’t?
I took the stairs, needing to get this energy out of my system before I exploded. Each step was faster than the last as I raced to the ground floor. Once there, I burst out of the stairwell into the garage and stormed over to my car. I didn’t unclench my fists until I was a block away from her building.
I started navigating back to my place but realized I didn’t want to go home. Sitting in my empty apartment with nothing to do but watch cooking shows wouldn’t be enough to distract me from the shit in my head.
But a fucking drink might.
I found street parking and walked to my favorite bar in Manhattan. It was old and run-down, and only the locals knew about it, which just made it better. I ordered a beer as I took a seat at the bar and found a screen to watch.
“I’ll have a whiskey neat. A double.”
I glanced to my right and found a woman around my age with dark wavy hair and a scowl on her face. I finished my beer and waved to the bartender. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
The woman chuckled. “One of those days for you too?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
It hadn’t been anywhere near the worst day of my life, but maybe one of the most frustrating. I’d tied my own damn hands, and I fucking hated it.
“Did you find your boyfriend fucking your best friend today too?” she asked as she took a gulp of her drink and winced.
I shook my head. “Nah. Nothing like that.” I took a sip of my own liquor and breathed through the fire coursing down my throat. “But that’s fucked up.”
She nodded as she drained her glass and signaled for another. “Yeah. But I’ve still got the password to his Netflix account and her favorite pair of Louboutins in my closet, so fuck them both.”
“Lou, what?”
She shook her head with a smile. “Never mind.”
I stared at her for a moment, trying to really see her.
But I couldn’t.
All I could see were the comparisons.
Her eyes were brown, nothing like Millie’s jewel-tone gaze. And her ponytail was dirty blonde, unlike the ginger hair that I still wanted to run my fingers through. This woman’s nose was a little wider, her eyes set further apart than Millie’s.
But she was pretty, I guess. She just wasn’t Millie.
“What’s your name?”
I shook my head and met her eyes again. “Ashton.”
She held out a hand that I shook. “Jenni.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said before taking another sip of my drink.
We fell into an easy conversation after that. Jenni was funny and vibrant and I wondered what kind of moron would cheat on a woman like her.
“Listen, I don’t ever do shit like this, but today’s different.” I turned to look at her, noticing how pink her cheeks had gotten. “Do you want to get out of here and maybe forget why we’re drinking for a little while?”
I froze with my glass halfway to my mouth as I considered her words.
What would it hurt?
It wasn’t like I was waiting for someone else. Or that someone else was waiting for me. I was single and so was she. So why not?
I finished my drink and set it on the bar. “What did you have in mind?”
She smiled
as she traced a finger along the edge of her glass. “We should probably go to your place. My ex might still be at mine.”
That sounded like a fucked-up situation I wanted no part in, but I just nodded and paid my bill. I had an opportunity to get Millie out of my head, even just for a few minutes, and I was going to take it.
Because the thoughts swirling around up there were gnarled and angry, and they had no right to be.
She wasn’t mine.
She could do whatever she wanted.
And so the fuck could I.
I threw a twenty down for her tab too and grabbed her hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
She hopped off the stool and hurried behind me as I left the bar and hailed a cab. Jenni sat on the opposite end of the backseat with her face pointed away from me as we rode back to my place.
And if I thought my head was fucked up before, it was nothing compared to now.
I felt dirty already. And wrong. Like I wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Like I’d regret it if I did.
It felt like I was betraying Millie, even though that was ridiculous. She clearly had no problem with moving on from me. Why shouldn’t I do the same?
But if I wasn’t doing anything wrong, why did I have the feeling it would hurt her if she found out, anyway?
My mind twisted and turned as the driver got us closer to my place. But the moment he stopped the car, I knew what I had to do.
I turned to Jenni with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this.”
She met my eyes, hers full of resignation. “It’s okay. I don’t think I could do it either.” She looked back out the window. “I’ll just go home and face the music. I just hope they’re done by now.”
Pity for this woman slithered through my system and I opened my mouth without thinking. “You can still stay here tonight if you want. I’ll take the couch.”
She turned to me, her eyes lit. “Are you serious?”
I nodded and climbed out of the cab. “Absolutely. Come on.”
She crawled out after me as I paid the driver. I didn’t grab her hand this time as I led her into my building and up to my apartment. Thankfully, I always kept it pretty clean because I definitely hadn’t been expecting company.
Blood Feud Page 7