No, he told himself. That was being unfair to her. She’d never acted as if she was only kind to him because he was a banker. He knew she cared about Natalie, and he’d come to think she might care about him. But perhaps that was only wishful thinking on his part. Perhaps she simply was not impressed with the man he was.
She was used to being around real people instead of the kind he’d introduced her to at the gala. Most of them were superficial, going about their days with only one thing in mind: to be entertained, to have a good time. Why, most of the people he’d associated with since Rose’s death had too much time on their hands, and they didn’t use it for much good.
He wanted something different for himself and his daughter. Perhaps he’d read too much into Meagan’s refusal tonight. The girls had interrupted them before he could find out why she was turning him down. Meagan had looked weary. Maybe that was all it was. She worked very hard, and if the conversation at the supper table had been any indication, her business was growing. Perhaps she was just tired and had a lot of work to do.
Nate leaned back in his office chair and took a sip of cocoa. It was still very warm and comforting. He took another sip and began to feel better. He wasn’t going to give up on Meagan—not now—and not until he had no other choice.
fifteen
Meagan barely managed to make small talk with her mother and sisters after Nate and Natalie left. She didn’t want them to see how upset she was. She flipped through one of her newest magazines while she kept them company in the parlor. That way she didn’t have to look up every time they asked her a question and she answered or made a comment.
“Mr. Brooks seemed in a hurry to leave tonight, didn’t he, Meagan?” Becca looked up while she and Sarah played a game of checkers in the family parlor. “Natalie asked if we could play a game of checkers, but he barely let her finish her cookie before they took off.”
“Maybe he had work to do at home, dear,” her mother answered.
“He didn’t look too happy about leaving,” Sarah said. “Did you make him angry, Meagan?”
Her sister’s question took her by surprise, and Meagan inhaled sharply. Did I? Well, if so, it was no more so than he’d made me. The more Meagan thought about their conversation the more upset she became, and she was glad her mother spoke, saving her from having to answer her sister.
“Meagan make Mr. Brooks angry?” Their mother chuckled. “Now, Sarah, you know better. Your sister goes out of her way not to anger anyone.”
“I know. But he looked …” She shrugged. “I don’t know. He just didn’t look as happy when he left as when he came in for supper.”
“Hmm,” Mama said. “I’m sure he’s fine, dear. He probably just wanted to get Natalie home and ready for bed. And that’s just what you girls need to be doing now. Don’t you have some studying to do?”
“I do have a test at the end of the week,” Sarah admitted.
“Well, go on, then. I’ll be up to say good night soon.”
Meagan was relieved the conversation about Nate had ended. Just hearing his name made her want to cry. She released a sigh and turned to leave the parlor. “I think I’ll go straighten up the shop, Mama.”
“Have a cup of tea with me first, dear,” her mother said. “You haven’t had much time to relax lately.”
“That sounds good.” Meagan followed her mother into the kitchen.
Once they sat down at the table with their tea, her mother said, “Tell me what’s bothering you, dear. You’ve looked so sad this evening.”
“Oh, Mama.” Meagan sighed and shook her head. “It will do no good to discuss it.”
“It’s as I suspect, then. It’s matters of the heart you are dealing with.”
She should have known she couldn’t keep anything from her mother. At her gentle words, Meagan began to talk about it all. “Nate asked me to go to dinner with him tomorrow evening, and I turned him down.”
“But why, dear? I know you care for the man.”
“And so does Abigail Connors. She is determined to have him, Mama. And from what she tells me, she’s practically engaged to him. She’s let me know in no uncertain terms that she plans to marry the man.”
“But that could just be her dream, dear.”
“Mama, she sees him all the time. If she didn’t believe it, then why would she say it?”
“Perhaps she said it to keep you from accepting a dinner invitation from him?”
Oh, how badly Meagan wanted to grasp at the hope her mother was handing her. But she was too afraid to. Yet there was a flicker …. “Mama, do you think that could be true?”
“I think it could be, yes. But I could be wrong. You are right to protect your heart, dear. But while doing that, you need to realize that not all things are as they seem.”
“I’ve been hoping that she was just trying to upset me. But Mama, she is his sister-in-law and Natalie’s aunt. She will always be part of his family, a tie that I do not have.”
“I understand that. Still, true love is very strong. I do not get the impression that Mr. Brooks is smitten with Abigail Connors. And I can’t think that he would ask you to dinner if that were so. But I don’t have all the answers except the most important one.”
“What is that, Mama?”
“You know yourself what it is, my Meggie. Take it all to the Lord, and trust in Him to work it out.”
Meagan nodded. “I will, Mama. I’m going to straighten up the shop and then turn in. Thank you for listening to me.”
“I’m always here for you, dear.”
Meagan kissed the top of her mother’s head. “I know you are. And I don’t know what any of us would do without you.”
She started to rinse her cup and saucer, but her mother shooed her out of the kitchen. “I’ll do this. You go take care of the shop, and spend a little time with the Lord.”
Meagan did just that, praying as she worked. She didn’t know what the Lord’s plan for her and Nate was. Hearing Abigail go on about her and Nate and the places they’d gone and the future she hoped for—it was hard not to believe her. Yet … there was a look in Nate’s eyes tonight that had made Meagan want to cry. He seemed disappointed that she refused his invitation. Perhaps he was. But even if he was, that didn’t mean he wasn’t planning a future with Abigail. Meagan simply did not know what was going on, and she prayed that the Lord would help her through the pain if there was no future for them.
Nate and Natalie had supper at the Connors’ home several nights later, and to his happy surprise, Abigail wasn’t there. It was a rare event when she wasn’t at her parents’ house when Nate and Natalie came for dinner.
“Where is Aunt Abby tonight, Grandmother?” Natalie asked when they entered the dining room.
“A friend of hers is having a dinner just for the women they socialize with. Caroline Atwell has become engaged to be married, and it’s a celebration of sorts,” Georgette informed her once they were at the dinner table.
“I’m sure they’ll have a delightful time,” Nate said. He had noticed that the women Abigail was with most of the time just loved to talk about weddings.
“I’m sure Aunt Abby will enjoy helping to plan the wedding,” Natalie said.
Nate was sure of it, too. The only thing she’d like better would be to be planning her own wedding to him. The cook served them Natalie’s favorite meal of chicken and dumplings, with peas and baby onions on the side. Fluffy rolls completed the course.
As the meal progressed, Nate began to relax and enjoy himself. He could only wish Abigail had more outings with her friends on the nights that he and Natalie were invited to her parents’ home for dinner. Then he felt bad at that thought. Abigail had been a great blessing to him right after Rose passed away. It was only in the last few years that he’d realized she wanted to replace her sister in his affections. That was something he was finding very hard to think about at all. Especially as he’d already put Meagan Snow in that position … even if she didn’t return his feelings.
>
Natalie’s laugh brought him out of his depressing thoughts. She did enjoy being around her grandparents.
“Oh, Grandpa, that was funny,” Natalie said. “Will you play checkers with me after dinner? I’m getting much better at them.”
“Of course I will. Soon we’ll have to teach you to play chess,” Jacob said.
“I’d love to learn chess!” Natalie said. “But I want to beat you and Papa at checkers before I do.”
The cook came in to clear the table and serve bread pudding and coffee.
“Oh, thank you,” Natalie said as her dessert was placed in front of her. “Everything has been delicious! Thank you for making my favorites!”
“You’re welcome,” the Connorses’ cook said. “Your grandmother asked me to make them especially for you, Miss Natalie.”
“Thank you, Grandmother. It’s probably a good thing Aunt Abby wasn’t here tonight. You know how she feels about dumplings!”
“You are welcome, dear. And yes, I do know how your aunt Abigail feels about them. She doesn’t like them very much, does she?”
Natalie giggled. “No, she sure doesn’t.”
“But you know what?”
Natalie shook her head. “What, Grandmother?”
“She would have had to fill up on peas and onions, because I was going to serve it anyway. The best thing about her being otherwise engaged this evening is that we haven’t had to hear her complain about the meal.”
Everyone got a chuckle out of that, even the cook who was placing Nate’s dessert in front of him. Georgette was exactly right. Abigail would have complained all evening. That his in-laws loved Natalie very much was always apparent, and tonight was no exception.
“You may call it a night, Mrs. Jackson. Natalie will help with the cleanup.”
“Thank you, ma’am. Everything is washed and put up except what’s on the table.”
“Thank you.” Georgette smiled at the woman. “Have a nice evening.”
“I will. Good night.”
Nate and Jacob retired to the study while Natalie and her grandmother cleared the table after dessert. “It’s always a pleasure to have you and Natalie over, Nate. It brings a little life into this house.”
“It’s been a most enjoyable evening, Jacob. Natalie loves coming over.” He did, too, most of the time. It was only Abigail’s company that put him on edge at times. But he was thankful for Jacob and Georgette. “I’m blessed that you and Georgette have always been so kind to me and welcomed me as much as you do Natalie.”
“Nate, you are like a son to us. You are the father of our only granddaughter. You’ll always be part of this family. But you need a life outside of us, too. You need to remarry, son. You need to for your sake and Natalie’s.”
He could honestly answer Jacob. “I’ve been thinking about it.” The only problem was, Nate couldn’t help but feel that Jacob was hinting for him to marry Abigail. He couldn’t blame the man. He wanted his daughter to be happy, too. And he wanted to keep his granddaughter close to the family. Nate understood all of that. He just wasn’t sure he could give Jacob and Abigail what they wanted. He wasn’t sure at all. The only woman he wanted as a wife was Meagan Snow, and if he couldn’t get her to go to dinner with him, he didn’t know how it was going to be possible to ask her to become his wife. He could think about getting married all he wanted, but at the moment, it didn’t look like marriage would ever be to the woman he’d come to love.
Later, after they’d returned home and Natalie was ready for bed, Nate went up to tuck her in. They both knelt beside her bed as she said her prayers.
“Dear Father, thank You for this day and for everyone I love. Especially Papa. Thank You for my grandparents and for Aunt Abby, too. Please forgive me for the things I did wrong today and help me to do better tomorrow. Thank You for everything—especially for Jesus. Amen.”
Nate was always touched by her simple prayers, and he had a feeling that the Lord was, too. Natalie scrambled up into her bed and pulled the covers up around her neck.
“Did you have a good time at your grandparents’ tonight?” Nate asked as he brushed his lips across her brow.
“I did. I love playing checkers with Grandfather. I’m glad he doesn’t let me win. I want to beat him fair and square one day!”
“I’m sure you will. You are getting better all the time.” Nate sat down on the side of the bed and thought a minute before he spoke. “Natalie, dear, would you like for me to marry again one of these days?”
She sat straight up in bed and clapped her hands. “Oh, Papa, yes I would! I would love to have a mama like all of my friends! It would be so nice!”
“Do you think so?”
“Oh, yes! And you wouldn’t be so lonesome when I grow up or when I’m not here.”
Now how did she know I get lonesome? Nate wondered. “Well, I’ll tell you what. I will do some thinking about it, all right?”
“Oh, yes, Papa. Please do think about it!”
She settled back down on her pillow, and Nate kissed her once more before turning down the light and going back down to his study.
He had been thinking about marriage a lot lately. Abigail had been bringing up the subject more often over the last few months, but it was Meagan he envisioned as his bride. But if Meagan didn’t care about him the same way, what was he to do?
Abigail had been right about Natalie. She did need and want a mother. Yet the only woman he wanted to fill that position seemed cool and distant to him. Until the other day, he truly thought Meagan was beginning to care about him, too. Now he wasn’t so sure.
He didn’t want to give up on Meagan yet. Maybe she was just having a bad day when he asked her to dinner. That might be all it was. Natalie had her last fitting set for the next day. Perhaps he would be able to ask Meagan out again. If she turned him down this time, well then, he’d just have to accept that he’d been mistaken about how she might feel toward him and get over her.
But he wasn’t ready to give up tonight. He bowed his head and asked for guidance. “Dear Lord, I’m in a quandary here. I have no idea if Meagan cares for me as I do her, but I need to find out. My daughter wants a mother, and I need a wife. I want it to be Meagan. But if that is not Your will, please help me to accept what is and go on. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray. Amen.”
sixteen
Meagan greeted Natalie and Nate when they came in the shop on Saturday morning, feeling both sad and relieved that this was Natalie’s last fitting for a while. Much as she loved this child—and her papa—it had become painful to see them both when she knew they would never be hers.
“Good afternoon, Natalie. Are you ready to try on your new dress?”
“Oh, yes, I am!” Natalie hurried behind the changing screen. “I can’t wait to wear it to church.”
Meagan’s mother came in with a pot of coffee and tray of cookies just then. She’d known the Brookses were coming, and Meagan had asked her to bring in some cookies for the child.
“Good morning, Nate. Would you like some coffee while Natalie is trying on her outfit?”
“Good morning, Mrs. Snow. I’d love a cup. It is such a beautiful spring day out. I think I’ll take Natalie over to Basin Park after lunch. They sprayed the streets this morning to keep down the dust, so even if a breeze comes up, it should be pleasant out. A concert band is performing today, and I’ve heard they are very good.”
“It’s been awhile since I’ve gone over there, but it is a nice day for it. I’m sure Natalie will enjoy it.”
While her mother was entertaining Nate, Meagan helped Natalie change out of her walking dress and into her new lightweight wool church dress. Before she sent the child out to show her papa, Natalie motioned for her to bend down.
“Guess what, Miss Meg?” she whispered in her ear.
“I don’t know. What is it?” Meagan whispered back.
Natalie cupped both hands around her mouth as she got close to Meagan’s ear. “My papa is thinking about getting marrie
d again!”
Trying to hide the pain that splintered her chest at the child’s excited whisper, Meagan asked, “Are you happy about that?”
Natalie smiled and nodded. “I’ll have a mommy like all of my friends. And Papa won’t be so sad all the time.”
If Nate was thinking of remarrying, Meagan was certain it was to Abigail. After all, that was all she’d been hearing from the woman for weeks now. She didn’t quite know for whom her heart was breaking—herself or Natalie. The child did need a mother, and it was obvious that she wanted one badly. But even if Meagan hadn’t wanted Nate for herself, she’d be disappointed in his choice of a wife and mother. Abigail was not the woman Meagan could imagine Nate with, and she certainly couldn’t picture the woman being the kind of mother Natalie needed.
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