by D. S. Murphy
His last words nearly tore me from the inside. I swallowed and fought to keep the tears from my eyes. “Dad,” I said. My voice cracked. “It’s not what you think, I promise.”
He sighed. “Then what is it, Alicia?” he asked. “What have you been doing these past few days that’s made you so distant?”
I tried to control my breathing. I couldn’t tell him the truth, but I also couldn’t keep lying to him. I had to distract him with something. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened to me since Brett’s party. Then I remembered what Tamara had told me in the future.
“It’s mom,” I whispered suddenly.
“What?” Dad said, his eyes widening.
I wrung my fingers until my skin reddened. “It’s just… we never talk about her anymore and certain… events… have me wondering.”
Dad looked surprised. He didn’t speak for nearly a minute. “Wondering what?” he asked cautiously.
“Did she really die in a car accident?”
Dad’s expression seemed to darken. “Why would you ask that?”
I sighed. “Brett and I have this project at school and we thought it would be a good idea to do research on the company his dad works at. While I was there, I saw mom’s picture and her bio.” I looked up at my dad. “Why didn’t you tell us she worked at Zamonta?”
Dad turned his back to me and shook his head. “We’re not going to talk about this.”
“What happened there?” I prodded. “Why can’t you talk about it?”
“This conversation is over,” he said, looking around him as if the walls might be listening. “Do you hear me Alicia?”
I folded my arms over my chest and blew out an exasperated breath. After he’d just told me to share my feelings with him, I couldn’t believe he was shutting me out like this. I watched him grab the canister of phylia and head towards the bathroom.
“Dad, no! Stop!” I yelled, running after him and grabbing his arm.
“This is for your own good,” he said, dumping the rest of the phylia in the toilet and flushing the handle. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I saw the phylia swirl around the bowl and then disappear.
***
Chrys rang the doorbell in the morning. When I answered the door she was standing on the porch, holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Ah, you shouldn’t have,” I said, taking them and sniffing in the floral scent.
“These were on the porch when I got here. A secret admirer perhaps?”
I glanced across the lawn towards Eric’s house and thought I saw movement in the window.
“Maybe,” I shrugged. I was silent on the ride to school, trying to organize my thoughts. There was so much to say, I didn’t know where to begin. Chrys pulled into the parking lot and gave me a quick hug.
“I told Cody and Brett to meet as at lunch. Then we can sort everything out.”
I nodded, and followed her into the building. It felt different today. Changed, somehow—though maybe it was me who had changed. Every time there was a loud noise or shriek of laughter, I flinched. I felt naked without a weapon of some kind. Exposed. But there was no danger here. Not yet.
After first period I ran into Eric. He was loitering near my locker. I’d been juggling one crutch and a pile of books. I didn’t realize how awkward I looked until he offered to help carry them to class for me.
“You should have texted me,” he said when we’d reached my next class. “I would have skipped school to take you.”
“Yeah, I probaby should have,” I said.
“I’m glad you’re okay. Want to meet at lunch and discuss?”
“Thanks Eric, but I’m meeting friends for lunch.”
His face darkened but he nodded. I wondered if he’d left the flowers on my porch. Then I remembered I still owed him an answer about the dance. It all seemed so far away right now. My brain was full of time travel and genetic modification. I didn’t have room for corsages and limos.
“Yeah, sure. See you later.” I felt a small twinge of guilt at dismissing Eric, but we’d never really hung out at school any way. And I had bigger problems. I couldn’t worry about everyone else’s feelings all the time. I hurried towards the lunch room and found the others waiting in the table in the back. It was comforting at first. Just the four of us, sharing a secret this large—I felt like it bound us together. But the feeling died when I got close enough to see the look on Brett’s face.
I sat down and there was a moment of silence, before Chrys cleared her throat and took the lead. “Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Alicia is sorry for stealing the phylia and traveling by herself. It was reckless and dangerous. The rest of us are sorry for making Alicia feel so isolated that she thought she couldn’t ask us for help. We all need to work on our communication. Right?”
Brett opened his mouth like he was going to argue, but then he crossed his arms and clenched his jaw. He nodded, and met my eyes for the first time. I hated that he was mad at me, but I also noticed the hurt in his eyes when he saw my face and bruises.
“By the way, as far as anyone else is concerned, you ran off after practice because Courtney was picking on you, and you had a nervous breakdown or something and got taken to the hospital.”
“What? That’s not what happened.”
Chrys held her hand up. “Forget about it. What I want to know is what actually happened at tryouts. It’s like you were talking to someone who wasn’t there. It was freaky as shit. And you hadn’t been smoking phylia, you were awake.”
“It’s only happened twice,” I confessed. “It’s like, an after effect or something. I don’t actually travel to the future, but I get a glimpse of it.”
Cody’s eyes widened. “Like an afterglow. People who take LSD talk about having flashbacks, even when there are no drugs in their system.” He grabbed his phone and searched for something. “Here it is. Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder.”
Brett looked interested. “So you can have flashforwards in this case. Even without smoking.”
“What did you see?” Chrys asked.
“The first time, at the mall when we were in the bookstore. I didn’t see anything. I mean, it was the future and the books were all torn up; it looked like someone had built a book cave and was living in there. But then at the volleyball tryouts…” I shuddered.
“I saw some guys from Zamonta. They were planning an attack on Defiance. I had to warn them.”
“That’s why you left school,” Chrys breathed.
I nodded.
“So what happened?”
“I was too late,” I said.
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Brett said, pushing a hand through his hair. “Zamonta is a research facility. Why would they attack the only other survivors?”
“It’s my fault,” I said. “First it was just a couple of girls. Zamonta had been collecting them. I don’t know why. Tamara thinks it’s so they can keep doing research on them. But, I helped rescue them. At least I helped rescue one. The other was taken.”
My eyes watered and I sniffed to try and keep my voice steady.
“That’s why they attacked Defiance directly. You don’t understand how bad it is. People died. Are dying. And now Tamara is preparing something big, it’s like they’re going to war. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
“You care about them,” Brett said, his eyes widening.
“Yes,” I said quickly. “It’s not like they’re just visions or something. They’re real people. One of them, a girl named Meredith, I asked her to teach me to fight. She’s the one who gave me this,” I gestured at my black eye.
“So… humanity lasted an extra twenty years after the fall of civilization, and now they’re going to destroy themselves,” Cody said. “Super.”
“Basically,” I said. It was a relief to share all of this, but that didn’t actually solve anything. The pit of dread in my stomach only got heavier with the realization that my friends had nothing new
to offer.
“I still don’t understand how Zamonta is involved in any of this. Maybe somebody else just took over the building after everything went to shit. Some bandits or something.”
I bit my lip and he frowned at me.
“What is it?” he asked slowly.
“When I had the vision in the gym, they mentioned Peters by name. They said ‘Peters is paying double this time.’”
Brett leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.
“So what’s the plan?” Cody said.
Chrys pulled up Tamara’s website on her phone.
“Check this out, half the stuff on the list Tamara posted has come true already. She’s got almost a hundred comments, though most of them think it’s a hoax. Did you get more information for her to post at least?”
My eyes widened and I dug my hands into my pockets.
“Let me borrow your phone,” I asked, holding my hand out to Chrys.
“What happened to yours?” she asked.
I showed her my busted screen. “Don’t ask,” I said, as she handed me her phone. My fingers were shaking as I pulled up the Powerball website and looked for the winning numbers. I’d been so distracted over the last few days, I’d forgotten to check the tickets.
“Holy shit,” I said, after double checking the numbers several times.
“What is it?” Chrys asked.
“I think I just became a multi-millionaire.”
***
“Coming to tryouts after class?” Chrys asked. We were in Mr. Harry’s Spanish class, our last class of the day. His lessons always ended early, and he let the class do whatever they wanted for the last twenty minutes.
“Are you kidding?” I asked, nodding to the brace on my ankle.
“Your spikes were amazing, I heard some of the other girls talking about it. Besides, if Courtney didn’t have a stick up her ass, she wouldn’t have sabotaged your tryout and you would have smoked us all.” Chrys sighed and moved closer to me. “Plus, with everything going on, you deserve a break. And, you get to piss off Courtney. Automatic bonus.” She winked and I laughed.
“I’m not even sure I want to be on the team,” I said. “Though I hate letting Courtney think I’m too scared of her to continue tryouts.”
“Speaking of Courtney…” Crys smiled wickedly. “Her and Brett are over.”
“What!?” I nearly choked in surprise.
She nodded and gazed at her fingertips, as if this information wasn’t a big deal. “Yup,” she said. “It’s all over school. Apparently, she was bragging to everyone that she gave you that black eye in tryouts. He told her to shut up, in front of all of her friends.”
“Why are you just telling me this now?”
She lifted one shoulder in an innocent shrug.
“You’ve already got so much on your mind,” she said. “Saving the world, and all. Wasn’t sure if you were still interested in high school gossip.”
I didn’t say anything for a moment. Brett broke up with Courtney? This was big news. For a moment, the dark cloud of inevitability shifted and I felt a thin glimmer of hope.
“Think he’ll ask you to winter formal now?” Crys asked, bouncing with excitement.
“Just because he broke up with Courtney, doesn’t mean he’s going to ask me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why do you keep acting like it’s impossible for a guy like Brett to ask you out?”
“I’m not exactly his type,” I said. I thought about the way he’d touched my hand at Zamonta, and my cheeks burned. But that was before I lied to him about the phylia and tripped on my own. He seemed pretty pissed at me during lunch.
“And what exactly is his type?” Chrys said, crossing her arms. “Mean-spirited bitches that torture other girls just so they feel some semblance of power and popularity?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, shutting down the conversation. “Besides, the dance is on Friday. I doubt he’d ask so last-minute.” The bell rang and I slung my bag over my shoulder.
“Can we just go?”
Crys sighed dramatically and followed me out of the room. Going to tryouts was the last thing I wanted to do, but the news about Brett had me buzzing with energy, and I didn’t feel like going home yet.
All eyes turned on us as we entered the gym. Courtney sneered, but I stood my ground as well as I could, leaning on one crutch for support. One of the girls asked how I was feeling, but Courtney jumped in before I could answer.
“I was beginning to think we wouldn’t meet our quota of lesbian members this year.”
“Let me guess, you need at least one, right?” Crys asked. “Don’t you fill that spot every year?” A few girls smiled, supressing laughter.
Courtney rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows I’m with Brett.”
“You were with Brett,” Crys said. “Past tense.”
Courtney opened her mouth to rebut, but the co-caption, Melanie Lynch, stepped in. “Okay, girls!” she shouted. “That’s enough chitchat. Let’s get to work.” She looked at me. “You can take it easy, Alicia. Just do some passing. Whatever you can manage.”
The second day of tryouts went by faster than the first. Courtney partnered up with me and refused to give me a fair chance again, but I wasn’t as stressed or nervous as I had been yesterday. Even with my sprained ankle, I managed to do fairly well. Melanie swooped in at the last minute and gave me a few proper volleys.
Courtney dismissed the team early to have a “meeting” with her co-captain—probably to chew her out for being somewhat nice to me. Aftwards, Crys and I headed for the parking lot. I laughed at something she said, but stopped short when I saw Brett waiting at the end of the parking lot. He was leaning against Crys’s green van with his hands shoved in his pocket. He ducked his head sheepishly when we approached. He was trying to be casual, but he must have been waiting for hours.
“Hey,” he said. “Got a minute?” His smile lit me up like sunshine.
Crys whistled under her breath. “Your knight awaits,” she whispered. She got in the van and closed the door. The engine hummed to life and I gaped at her through the window.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She leaned out the window and looked at Brett.
“Do you mind taking her home?”
Brett nodded quickly. “Of course.”
Chrys winked at me and sped out of the parking lot. I laughed and glanced up at Brett. He just smiled and shrugged. He led the way to his jeep and opened the door for me. He put my crutches in the back and got in, but didn’t start the car right away. He fidgeted with his keys and cleared his throat, like he had something important to say. But then he started the ignition and drove out of the lot.
“I figure this way you can’t run away,” he said.
I sucked in a breath and looked out of the front window with a slight sense of caution. I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not kidnapping you or anything.”
I laughed nervously. “I didn’t think you were,” I said, unconvincingly.
“I owe you an apology,” he said finally.
I looked at him in surprise.
“Um, I’m the one who stole the phylia and travelled behind your back. Shouldn’t I be apologizing to you?”
“I didn’t give you any choice. After I found out my dad was involved, I didn’t know what to do. I mean, the more I help you, the more I could get my dad in trouble. Plus, if you get caught with drugs from Zamonta, it won’t take long for my dad to figure it out I gave them to you. But I can’t ignore what’s happening, what you’re going through. How hard it must be. I can’t stand seeing you like this, and knowing it’s my fault.” He reached up and stroked my cheek under my black eye. I sucked in a sharp breath at his touch.
“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? I mean, is that why you waited for me?”
Brett’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel. I watched him curiously. He bit his lower li
p and I had to resist leaning over to kiss him while he was driving.
“Brett?” I prompted when we were almost at my house. He gave me a sidelong glance.
“Was there anything else you wanted to tell me?”
“It’s not so much something I want to tell you,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. “It’s something I need to ask you.”
“Alicia…” His eyes flicked between the me and the road. “I’m sure you’ve heard about Courtney and me by the now.”
I shrugged too quickly. “Not really,” I lied.
“Well, we broke up,” he said. “Or, I broke up with her… though that doesn’t really matter.”
“Why?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
He sighed. “The funny thing is, I don’t even know why I was with her,” he said thoughtfully. “She really wasn’t a nice person. I mean, she wasn’t all bad. She had her good moments, when it was just us and no audience, but mostly…” He shook his head. “She wasn’t nice to you, was she?”
I breathed in slowly. “It’s no big deal.”
“It is,” he said firmly. “Well, it is to me at least.” My heart picked up its pace. I suddenly found it hard to breathe. What’s happening right now?
He turned onto my street, but slowed his speed so the car barely moved. “I never liked the way she treated you,” he said. “And whenever I was with her I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He looked at me so intensely I had to look away. “It wasn’t fair to her, and I also knew that’s the reason she acted that way toward you. She somehow knew that I…” He cleared his throat, “That I liked you.”