by Lori King
I shook my big body, felt my flesh move over my muscles and bones, and excitement moved through me. I needed this like I needed to breathe.
And then I couldn’t wait anymore. I took off toward the thick line of trees that surrounded my home. I climbed the incline, running wild, scenting every little thing around me.
I felt the air thin at the increased altitude, but I didn’t stop moving higher. The trees thinned out the higher I went. I finally stopped and just looked around. I could see part of the timberline from this vantage point. I turned my big head from left to right, taking in the small, picturesque town of Stales.
A low rumble left me at the sound of a twig snapping off to my side. I turned and saw two squirrels fighting over a fallen acorn. About ten yards from where I stood, I scented a rabbit, and farther down the mountain, I smelled something else … something that had my heart racing.
Brittin.
On instinct, I moved toward where I smelled her scent. She wasn’t in trouble, and the closer I got, the more her wonderful sugary aroma filled my head.
When I finally reached her, I saw she was just standing in a clearing. There was a small brook running in front of her, and she tossed a few pebbles into it. I should have just left her in her thoughts, but a twig under my paw broke in half. She spun around and our eyes locked.
I knew the moment she realized it was me, and as much as that pleased me, I also scented her distance.
“Law.” She said my name softly. “I’d ask you to shift back to your human form so we could talk, but then you’d be naked.”
Her voice sounded so fucking good to me.
“But I wanted to talk anyway. This is a long time in coming.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I huffed out and moved closer. She didn’t retreat but she knew she had nothing to be afraid of. I’d kill myself before I ever let her feel pain.
You already caused her pain.
I growled low at my thoughts.
Fucking hell, I wanted to touch her, wanted to rub my body against hers and get my smell all over her flesh.
But she was right. We needed to talk, because what I said was not going to be just pushed aside. What I had to say was going to change a lot of things.
4
Brittin
Several days later
* * *
I looked in the rearview mirror for what seemed liked the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. I don’t know why I thought I’d see Law behind me. We’d decided to meet at a small diner—one we’d been to several times while were together.
Not the first place I would have chosen, but this is where Law wanted to come, so I was just going with it.
I breathed in and out slowly, trying to think of how this night would play out. I might have told him we needed to talk, but the truth was I had no idea what in the fuck to say to him.
But if I’m going to stay in Stales, it’s inevitable we’ll run into each other. It’s undeniable that we need to speak.
And the truth is I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice, to thank him for helping Blaine. I want to tell him these last two years have been pretty damn hard, that it was a mistake.
I closed my eyes, thinking about all the stuff I’d wanted to say to him over the years. I’d wanted to curse at him.
I pulled into the parking lot of the diner, cut the engine, and willed my heart to slow. Law would be able to sense my erratic emotions, and although I shouldn’t care after all this time, I did care … a lot.
A cougar shifter and his human wife owned the restaurant. It had gone through a few management phases, but the newest owners were friendly, and the ones Law and I had gotten to know well over the years.
After only waiting there for about five minutes, I saw a flash of headlights and knew it was Law. He pulled his beast of an SUV up beside my car, and for a moment all I did was sit there and stare at him. He didn’t look over, but from where I sat, I could see his jaw was clenched tightly, and his hands were wrapped around the steering wheel in a death grip.
Just thinking about Law made me feel sensitive in all of my erogenous zones. I breathed out slowly once more and saw him tightening and loosening his hands on the steering wheel. Over and over again, he did this. His jaw looked clenched, like he might be grinding his teeth, and I had serious doubts this might be a civil discussion. I saw his chest rise and fall as if he were exhaling forcefully, but I wasn’t going to turn away from this, not now.
I grabbed the door handle, about to open it, but Law was out of his SUV in the next instant. I got out of my car, not wanting the whole awkwardness of what was sure to transpire to rise even more when he opened my door.
And he would, because as alpha as Law was, he was also a gentleman. I met him at the front of the vehicles, and we stood there, not speaking, just staring at each other.
“Hey,” he said, finally breaking the silence.
“Hi.” For as weird as this should have been, it felt pretty good to be in front of him again, to smell the scent of masculinity and wilderness that surrounded him, and to feel his heat seep into me.
He offered me a smile, and although I still sensed something was off about him, I smiled in return.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Good, and you?” You’re lying. You’ve been pretending this whole time.
“I’m good.” His voice was so low and deep, but I heard the undertone of a lie in there.
“Shall we?” he finally said after another second of silence.
I nodded, and we walked side by side toward the restaurant, with Law holding the door open for me. When I thanked him and walked inside, I swore I saw him lean down, and heard the gentle inhalation of him smelling my hair.
Memories surfaced, and I smiled at them, feeling warmth and pleasure.
I didn’t want to leave him, not now, and I hadn’t back then.
* * *
Law
I stayed one step behind Brittin, although I was barely hanging on as it was; my bear was right at the surface, wanting to claim her. I wanted to say fuck this all and demand she be mine. But that was how our issues had started; I was too damn stubborn, wanting things my way all the time.
But I love her, and we belong together.
When the waitress led us to a table, I couldn’t stop myself from watching her ass. Fuck, she had a glorious ass. And the way it moved under the tight material of her pants had my cock hardening. But, then again, everything about her was so damn attractive I could hardly control myself around her.
I had never been able to.
I wanted to adjust my dick behind my fly, but I wasn’t about to draw attention to the fucker.
As soon as I’d seen her step out of the car, I’d scented the knowledge that she knew something was off with me. But I had a lot of shit to talk about with her tonight, and I didn’t know how things would play out.
I was on edge, and I would be until I heard what she had to say.
My bear had wanted out more and more with each passing moment, and it hadn’t gotten any easier since I saw her in the woods. The asshole had been persistent and strong when I’d first seen her at the station, but now my grizzly was even more temperamental.
I could say this wasn’t about domination, but that would be a lie. My animal was still a bastard in that regard, but my human side had changed, and understood what I needed to do to make things right.
It was just a damn shame it had taken this long for me to get my head out of my ass.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit my bear wanted out, wanted to pin Brittin to the side of a building, against my car, or better yet, take her back to my place and fuck her raw. I wanted to mark her all over again, give her those twin puncture marks so all other males would know she was mine. I wanted my cum and scent to fill her body so the warning was all over her.
My cock jerked again, and I clenched my hands into fists. Fuck, I wanted her, like right now, but I was going to need to get my shit together
and actually confide in her, admit to her I had been a fucking asshole back then.
Before she reached the table, I moved quickly and pulled the chair out for her. She seemed a bit taken aback at first, but I liked that I’d caught her off guard. I’d always been a gentleman with Brittin, because she’d been my female and mine alone. If I didn’t treat her right, then some other asshole could take her away.
But I clenched my teeth at that thought. I hadn’t treated her right. My alpha tendencies had made me blind, had me losing the most important thing in the world to me.
I pushed all those thoughts away and focused on the here and now.
“Thanks, Law.”
Fuck, I loved hearing her say my name. She ducked her head and that wonderful sweet smell that was all her filled my nose and made me even harder. I pushed the chair in, but not before I lowered my head just an inch, inhaled deeply, and nearly groaned at her scent.
She turned her head slightly. I saw the way her pulse jumped right below her ear, and I pulled back to look right into her eyes. For a second, neither of us moved, but that was okay because I liked this chemistry moving between us right now.
Her scent was ingrained in my brain, in my very cells, and there was no place on the fucking planet that she could be that I wouldn’t find her.
5
Law
I took my seat across from her, and I could see as well as sense she was nervous. The waitress came by, and I focused on that for a second, but it was damn hard pulling my attention away from Brittin.
“Good evening.” The waitress was a young, pretty woman, but no one compared to my Brittin. She kept eyeing me, and I wanted to tell the waitress there was no fucking similarity to the gorgeousness that was sitting across from me.
The scent of our waitress’s interest in me was an instant turn off, and my mood became a little more standoffish.
Brittin ordered a Coke—non-alcoholic, as she didn’t drink. I rarely drank myself, so I ordered a glass of water. Once we were alone again, the silence stretched, but I kept my eyes trained right on her.
We were seated in the corner, and I admit I liked the intimate setting.
“This is weird, Law,” she finally said, her eyes trained on her lap.
“Hey,” I said softly, and waited to continue speaking until she looked at me. “You know me, so there isn’t anything to feel weird about.” I leaned back in my chair as the waitress brought our drinks. Once our order was placed and we were left alone again, I contemplated eating before bringing up what I had to say.
But getting this out of the way was probably best.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“So did I,” she said, but then the silence stretched on again. “It was bound to happen after … everything, I guess.”
I nodded once.
“But I’ll let you start this off, because you and I both know I can put my foot in my mouth.”
I chuckled after she spoke. She’d always thought that about herself, but the truth was she didn’t say things off the rail. She was very articulate and genuine, and when she said something, I knew she meant it.
“Is that really why you want me to go first?”
She didn’t speak for a second, but finally, she shook her head. “No. I guess I’m stalling. I also don’t know what to say, Law.” She pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth, and I was transfixed at the sight. I wanted to be the one to do that, to lick at the slight sting I’d surely cause.
I ran a hand over my hair, knowing I should just say what I was going to, and not prolong this. If she wanted nothing more to do with me, I didn’t know how in the hell I was going to deal with that.
“I know I was a fucking idiot back in the day, Brittin.” I looked her in the eyes. “But I want to talk about all of that.”
She looked a little shocked at first. Had she not thought I’d want to talk about this?
She shook her head for a second, looked down at the table, and then back at me. “We are seriously going here, Law?”
I scented her anger rising.
“I want to talk about this, Brittin.”
“After nearly two years of me being away, you just now want to talk about this?” She made this little snort like she was annoyed with me. “You didn’t try contacting me before now—”
“You told me to stay away,” I growled, trying to stay calm and keep my voice lowered. “I was an asshole, a dumb bastard for thinking I could tell you how to live with me.” I shook my head, wanting her to know the truth. “It didn’t take me all this time to know how badly I’d fucked up. I knew I did the moment you left me.” I scrubbed a hand over my face, saying these words for the first time. I had thought them plenty of times, but actually admitting them to someone else, especially Brittin, was not something I’d ever done.
“Law—”
“Let me get this out, Brittin.” I exhaled, wanting to say so much. I knew this wasn’t the best place or time to say any of this bullshit, but I needed her to know. “I know with the shit going on with Blaine you don’t need this right now, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left.” I leaned forward, wanting badly to reach out and touch her. “I haven’t stopped loving you, Brittin, and I never will.”
She still said nothing, but her shock was clear in her expression.
“So many times I drove up to where you were, wanting to see you, to ask you to come back to Stales, but your words played through my head, and I turned around.” Fuck, was this even making a dent in her armor? “I haven’t been with anyone else since you, Brittin. There isn’t anyone else for me but you.”
A moment of silence passed.
“And tell me how this would have gone if I hadn’t come back to Stales, Law.” She was pissed. I could smell it coming from her like smoke from an extinguished fire. “Explain to me how any of this would have worked if Blaine hadn’t gone off the deep end?” She had her hands clenched tightly on top of the table. “This isn’t how I saw this night going. There is a lot I wanted to say to you, mainly that I’m so thankful you helped Blaine out.”
I sat up straighter and narrowed my eyes. “Brittin—”
She shook her head. “But this…” She closed her eyes and breathed out. “I can’t deal with this right now. If I hadn’t come back, and you didn’t have this opportunity to try and say all of this, what then?”
I gripped the table, curled my nails into the cloth-covered wood, and had to force myself not to crush the weak material beneath my hold.
“This was a bad idea,” she whispered a second before she got up. She looked at me for a moment, the struggle in her expression real and cutting me deep.
Fuck, this wasn’t how I hoped this evening would play out. I didn’t want my words to cause this kind of reaction with her.
Well, what in the fuck did you think would happen, asshole?
She turned and started heading out, and I got up, tossed a few twenties on the table, and followed her out. She was mumbling something under her breath, and with my shifter hearing, I could make out she was cursing herself.
Why in the hell was she doing that?
“You’re so damn stupid for wanting what you do,” she muttered low, and I picked up my pace. She was hauling ass, and the scent of her wanting to escape was strong in the air.
She got to her car, and I reached out, gripped her gently but firmly around the upper arm, and turned her around. I was desperate for her to understand where I was coming from, desperate for her to see I was dead serious.
“Don’t, Law,” she whispered, but there was no force behind her words.
“I fucked up—”
“It’s too late. Too much time has passed.” She glanced down, and I smelled the emotion and sadness in her eyes. “I can’t have a life where I can’t be myself. I can’t be with someone that wants only one thing from me.” She looked at me again. “We lead different lives now, Law.”
I shook my head before she was finished speaking.
“You�
��re the Sheriff of Stales, and I’m the girl who ran from this relationship, but had to come back because of my broken brother.” She closed her eyes, and I saw a lone tear slip free. I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and ran my finger along her cheek, brushing that droplet of her sadness away.
She made this small sound, one of need and of surprise. We stared into each other’s eyes for long seconds, and before I could stop myself, because I could even tell myself I should give her space, that maybe I was pushing her, I leaned in and kissed her.
I expected her to push me away, hell, even slap me, but I surprised when she leaned in and kissed me back. My bear broke free, pushing for dominance. I cupped the back of Brittin’s head, pulled her impossibly closer, and kissed her like I was dying and she was what kept me alive.
She had her hands on my shoulders, her nails digging into my flesh. I groaned against her mouth, and when she gasped, her lips parting, I dipped my tongue inside. God, this felt good. I hadn’t been with anyone else since her, not even a kiss. This was pure fucking heaven, and I never wanted it to end.
But as her moans increased and my cock got harder, I sensed the subtle change in her. She pushed away slightly, and as fucking hard as it was, I did move back a step.
“We should stop or…” She didn’t finish her sentence. I looked into her eyes, scented truth coming from her.
She wanted this, but was trying to be strong about it.
Brittin still had her hands on my shoulders despite the fact I’d moved back, and when I saw her pupils dilate, I stepped closer. I dipped my head and scraped my teeth along her skin, then ran my tongue over the sting I knew I’d created. I didn’t hold in my groan of pleasure when I smelled her blossoming arousal.
“We shouldn’t stop, because this feels right,” I said gruffly, honestly. “Tell me this doesn’t fucking feel good, Brittin.” I looked into her eyes for a second. “Tell me you don’t want this, baby.”