by Milind Bokil
‘Which girl are you talking of?’
‘Sakhardande. Look at the way her breasts are popping out!’
‘She must have found someone to fondle her,’ Surya said. ‘It is damn easy for girls to find someone. It is us who are unlucky.’
Surya needed just a small cue to get started. He went and sat by the window looking out. Phawdya came in as usual, running up the stairs.
Surya was hoping to see Sakhardande, but she did not turn up. Soon Gumaste from class eleven passed by. She had recently joined school. Most of the girls wore a saree and blouse, but some wore trousers and a shirt. Gumaste is on the fatter side and wears the shirt one size too small; it hugs her plump body. Surya had to make a comment.
‘Bhaji lo…bhaji…’ he shouted the moment she came closer and then added, ‘Pumpkins….Buy some pumpkins!’
We all burst out laughing. Two other girls accompanying Gumaste looked up. They would not have seen us as Surya had ducked by then. When they were right below the building Surya shouted again, ‘Bring the pumpkins! We have some customers here!’
Sukdi and Bakre followed. I had promised not to tease Sukdi hence kept quiet, but Surya was in the mood and shouted, modulating his voice a bit, ‘Hey, Mahesh!’
Sukdi is normally alert but was probably unprepared and looked up, falling for Surya’s falsetto voice.
‘Mahesh is not here!’ Surya continued. ‘He is in the market!’
Sukdi left in a huff, gesticulating in the air as she spoke to Bakre. Chitre was quiet till now but seemed eager to participate. The road was crowded and we could see groups of school children walking by.
Bendre ma’am came in. She was wearing a figure-hugging blue saree with a matching blouse. She sported sunglasses and walked straight on without looking around. We had no option but to keep quiet. Phawdya whispered,
‘Look at the way she walks!’
‘She won’t change, bhenchod,’ Surya muttered.
‘One bloody nuisance for us,’ Chitre commented. ‘Miss Sunanda Bendre!’
‘Somebody should kidnap her and take her to the jungle,’ Surya cursed.
‘Who will kidnap her?’ I asked. ‘No one will, even if she requests!’
‘Right,’ Phawdya agreed. ‘It is our misfortune.’
Havaldar from our class followed Bendre. She was accompanied by Deosthale. We would normally leave such girls to themselves, but Surya was in form and shouted, ‘Hey, Pandu Havaldar!’
We ducked quickly though we were sure the girls would continue walking down the road without looking up. But we saw them talking to Bendre ma’am who had stopped hearing Surya’s voice. The girls went and said something to her and they all looked in the direction of the building.
‘Surya, we are going to be roasted, saale,’ Phawdya said, looking out of the window. ‘Bendre is talking to Havaldar.’
Surya peeped out to see them chatting.
‘Get ready to scoot,’ Chitre said, casually.
But luckily they continued walking towards school. Bendre did not know it was us playing the prank, but it would not take her long to figure that out. All she needed to do was to ask anyone in class and they would have squealed on us. It was clear that she would investigate.
‘Surya, be careful,’ I warned. ‘If Bendre comes to know, we are dead.’
‘What can she do, Ichibhana?’ Surya asked. ‘This is not school.’
It was evident that he was scared, but he was not going to admit to it. Phawdya and I sat down tired. Chitre almost lay down.
‘Joshi, your heartthrob!’ Surya said, looking out.
‘Who?’ I blurted out. I should have kept my mouth shut.
‘Who else but Shirodkar!’ Surya said.
I got the shock of my life. I quickly glanced at Chitre. He was busy packing his bag. Phawdya seemed to be watching me closely. I wondered how Surya had got wind of it. He was capable of blurting out whatever came to his mind but the fact he took Shirodkar’s name came as a rude shock.
‘What do you mean, my heartthrob?’ I said. ‘What are you blabbering?’
‘Saale, don’t we know?’
Phawdya started laughing and Chitre joined in. I wondered whether they really knew or were trying to shoot in the dark.
‘Joshi, tell me honestly,’ Surya asked. ‘Are you not pining for her?’
I was tempted to admit to my feelings and end the debate forever. In any case, if the class knew of it, there was no way I could stop others from knowing it. But there was an element of doubt that they were trying their luck and did not have any concrete proof. In which case, confessing here would fetch nothing. But I had to say something. I could not keep quiet. Surya had raised a doubt and it needed to be addressed. My mind raced against time, looking for the appropriate reply.
‘Yes,’ I replied, without showing any anxiety. ‘I am chasing Shirodkar—and Dongre, Mirikar, Rege, Deodhar, Kulkarni, Sarwate and even Rairikar. What do you have to say now?’
That shut him up. But he was upto some mischief and the moment Shirodkar passed by, he let out a cat call.
‘Hey, Joshi!’ he shouted, cupping his mouth.
Fuck! I cursed him under my breath. But I was helpless. I prayed she would not look up. She was not Sukdi, who was used to such cat calls. It would be a deadly arsenal in Surya’s hands if she looked up. My prayers were answered. She walked by without reacting.
‘Saali! Does not respond,’ Surya said, disappointed.
The classes began as usual, but my mind was elsewhere. If the whole school knew of my affair, it would be a disaster. Shirodkar would not like it at all. She would lose all respect for me if she came to know that I too was there in the building. She may even assume that I had provoked my friends to tease her. I would be a dead duck then.
A cold sweat broke out. She never glanced at me even once that day. Quite obviously—no girl would like the fact that she was being teased in such a manner. I needed to clarify that it was Surya’s prank and that she should not give credence to such calls. But the question still remained—how did Surya come to know of it?
I caught up with Chitre at the water tap.
‘Saale, Chitre. You told Surya, isn’t it?’
‘What?’
‘What what? That I am chasing Shirodkar.’
‘Why should I tell him that?’
‘Tell me the truth. Are you betraying me?’
‘Come on, yaar. I did not tell him. Don’t be foolish.’
‘Listen, Chitre,’ I began. ‘Let us be honest with each other. Else, I will tell Surya about you and Kevda. Then you see!’
‘Arre, I really did not tell him. Believe me!’
‘Then how come he suddenly decided to tease me?’
‘That Misal had blurted out once—that you had joined the tuition classes to be with Shirodkar. That got him thinking and he deduced rightly.’
I was silent. The connection had to be established some day. Juvekar must have told Mande and she would have told Misal. I was aware of this risk.
‘Is she really yours?’ Chitre asked.
I wasn’t sure to what extent I should confide. To be fair, he had been honest about his feelings for Kevda. I was in a dilemma. I had to choose between the devil and the deep sea.
‘What is the point in my having any feelings?’ I said. I let it open ended. There was no point in telling him about our secret meetings.
He did not ask further. He was smart enough to guess.
‘How do we reign in Surya?’ he asked.
‘We need to do something.’ I said. ‘He blurts out whatever comes to his mind.’
‘I had warned you earlier,’ he said. ‘There is no point in hanging around with him. We need to stop going to that building.’
‘We will tell him he should not tease his friends.’
‘That would only reinforce his belief further. At least now, he is not so sure.’
‘Then?’
‘Wait. I will tell Phawdya. We will tell him if Surya plays such cheap pranks
, we will not be a party to it.’
I don’t know what Chitre told Phawdya but he asked me not to go to the adda for the next few days. He also asked me to ignore Surya in school and not speak to him. I agreed. Phawdya must have counselled Surya. He came over and said,
‘Why don’t you guys come over to the building these days, eh?’
‘We can’t. Saale, you are resorting to mischief now!’ Chitre said.
‘You are out to screw your friends,’ I added.
‘Why do you tease the girls?’ Phawdya joined in.
That quietened him. He then pleaded saying, ‘no, no, it is not really so.’ We had been given a lot of homework that week in Maths and English and the offenders were to get a letter of explanation from their parents. Surya desperately needed our help. He remembered the day Bendre ma’am had stopped near the building and was worried she might investigate. He promised not to tease the girls henceforth. As an added assurance, he went and threatened Misal against spreading rumours.
Pethkar ma’am was absent and the girls requested Rajguru sir, who was taking the off period, to allow us to play the word game with movie titles. I had not got a chance to give the book to Shirodkar as promised. Sir was not agreeable at first—there was a lot of pressure to complete the syllabus before the final exams. ‘Take out your books and read them,’ he said. ‘These are the Principal’s instructions.’ The boys were fine as they could continue with their stupid pranks. Santu and Harishchandra were already preparing to sneak out of the door. But the birdies stuck to their demands.
‘Sir, let us play the word game. Pleeeaaaase…. they cajoled, surrounding him. ‘Just for this period.’
Rajguru sir does not know how to turn down a request. Had it been some other teacher, he would have started teaching right away and the birdies would have shut up. But Rajguru sir could not do that. Surve had started reading, ‘Kala Pahaad’ while Patil and fatso Shembekar cried out, ‘ground, Sir, ground.’ They repeated their demands a few times, but in the end the birdies won.
They eagerly took the chalk piece and wrote the first word on the blackboard,
‘Phu…ti.’
That was lame. Ghasu Gokhale took one look and answered, ‘Phool Ban Gaye Moti.’ Then Teredesai tried ‘Aaye Din Bahaar Ke,’ which did not take Sukdi more than a minute to decipher. Same was the case with Mirikar’s Hare Ram Hare Krishna, and Bibikar’s Mera Gaon Mera Desh. Sarwate wrote ‘si’. She fumbled trying to count the number of words when Surve looked up from his reading and said, ‘Don’t bother; it is Seeta Aur Geeta.’ Sarwate threw the chalk piece away in disgust and stomped back to her desk.
I had decided not to be a part of this tomfoolery and sat silent. I had told Surya and Phawdya that I was not playing the game. Sir had guessed Santu’s idea of easing out of the class and went and stood near him, resting his hand on his shoulder. That put cold water on Santya and Harishchandra’s plans.
Teredesai’s ‘Ek Phool Chaar Kante’ did not last more than a few seconds when Shirodkar stood up and wrote ‘aa….m’ with four blanks in between.
I had made up my mind not to participate. Let Shirodkar win. I had guessed the movie Anand Ashram but kept my mouth shut. Fatso Shembekar looked at me for help, but I turned my gaze away to stare at the playground. The eighth standard boys were out there and pitching in their stumps. It would be good to watch them play cricket. Teredesai looked at me saying, ‘Joshi, come on!’
‘I am not participating,’ I said, continuing to look out of the window.
The boys were silent when one of the birdies chirped, ‘Why don’t you accept that you don’t know?’
I was tempted to say the answer, but seeing Shirodkar standing there, with a smile on her lips, decided to continue staring out of the door.
‘Sir, they lose, they lose,’ the birdies chirped.
‘Wait a moment, Sir. We may get it,’ Bibikar said.
‘We cannot wait for so long. Loser! Loser!’ they chorused.
The boys turned to look at me. I continued staring out.
‘Ichibhana, we will lose,’ Surya pleaded, poking me with his pen.
‘Let it be,’ I said. ‘I know, but I am not participating.’
The boys tried for some time and had to give up. They lost that point. Shirodkar had glanced at me once while writing on the board. I wanted to smile but I checked myself.
It was the girls’ turn again. There was a lot of clamour amongst them as to who would volunteer. Sarwate wanted to, when Dongre said, ‘Hey, wait! You would write something lame. Let her write.’
Shirodkar went to her bench, glanced at her notebook and then returned to the board and wrote, ‘Ki…ra.’
I observed her. For a moment, I was confident that I would get the answer quickly. My mind was racing but the name eluded me. I knew all the names from the book, but this seemed to be new.
My mind went blank—totally blank. I could not think of anything.
The boys in the front benches were stumped. The class was silent. Ghasu Gokhale asked, raising a doubt, ‘Is there a movie like this?’
‘Looks like she’s trying to create a new name, Sir.’ Teredesai said.
Sir turned to look at the board. Had it been Zende sir or Manjrekar sir, they would have tried to guess the answer.
‘It must be right if she has written it on the board,’ Sir surmised.
‘There is no movie by this name,’ Bibikar said. ‘Is that not so, Surve?’
Surve looked up and seeing the letters on the board, put his head down and continued to read. Shembekar looked at me and raised his eyebrows. But I refused to answer.
‘Loser! Loser!’ The birdies were now singing in chorus. The boys were restless. These girls are capable of shouting in the most irritating voice.
‘Joshi, come on!’ Teredesai said.
I ignored his comment and continued to look out of the door. The wheels in my mind were turning, but there was no movement. It was like those tyres were caught up in mud.
‘He does not know,’ Mirikar said.
‘Joshi, come on. Show them,’ Surya said. ‘Don’t be so adamant. We will lose otherwise.’
I could not afford to tell at this stage that I did not know. It would have meant a loss of face. I continued to look out.
‘Loser! Loser!’ The chirping continued.
‘Joshi, why don’t you just say the answer?’ Bibikar cajoled.
‘I am not playing, yaar,’ I explained.
‘Then play, saale,’ Phawdya said. Sir heard him.
‘Who is this using foul language?’ Sir said, looking in his direction. ‘Can’t you guys speak without using expletives?’
‘Sir, they have lost,’ the birdies continued.
‘Wait, Sir. We are thinking,’ Shembekar said. He conferred with Bibikar and Teredesai.
‘Hey, you can’t leave your seats, okay?’ Sir said.
I glanced at Shirodkar. She ignored me as if she had not seen me. A faint smile played on her lips. She seemed to be challenging me. She must have caught hold of some other book with rare movie titles.
‘Sir, they should declare now,’ Dongre shouted. ‘No one is allowed so much time.’
‘Loser! Loser!’ the birdies were back. ‘Tell them the answer.’
‘Kitne Pass Kitne Door,’ Shirodkar said. I mentally slapped my forehead with my hand. It wasn’t difficult, come to think of it. Sir smiled and put a mark against our team.
‘Let me try now,’ Sarwate volunteered.
‘Shut up!’ the girls jumped on her. ‘Let her write. We need to win with a huge margin today.’
Shirodkar consulted her notebook and returned to write. My chest was pounding now. This was unexpected.It was one thing to sit back and not participate despite knowing the answer and another not to know. I was at a loss!
She wrote,
‘Aa….ya.’
The room was silent again. It was clear she had managed to get hold of some book. I had not given my book to her. Her book seemed to have names of mov
ies we had never heard of.
The boys were silent and the girls realized we were stumped. They normally don’t need a reason to celebrate and now we had handed them one on a platter. They teased us to death. We had no choice but to listen to their taunts.
Teredesai looked at me, then Bibikar and finally, Ghasu Gokhale. They could not tolerate the insults. I continued with my act of looking out of the door. Fatso Shembekar caught my eye and said, ‘Joshi, why don’t you play? Stop acting pricey.’
‘Ichibhana, Joshi! Enough! Speak up now!’ Surya added.
They thought I was trying to avoid playing not knowing that I was stumped. My mind raced hard. I had a feeling I knew the name, but it was eluding me at the moment.
‘What, Joshi sahib?’ Sir asked, smiling. ‘Looks like your brain is not working today.’
No one responded to his comment but Bibikar said, in a voice loud and clear, ‘We know why Joshi is not playing.’
It created ripples across the classroom. The boys gave a knowing smile and the birdies giggled, ‘Aiyaa, really?’ I wished the earth would swallow me up and that I would disappear. My body had hot flushes. I glanced at the board to see Shirodkar pursing her lips. Her face was flushed red. But she did not seem angry. There was a twinkle in her eyes. She stood for a while and then walked back to her place.
I was angry at Bibikar. I glared at him and made a face indicating, ‘Wait, I will take care of you!’ But he was least bothered. He laughed, looking at other boys. They too joined in the laughter.
‘We will hammer Bibikar once the class is over,’ I told Surya.
‘Why? Just because he pointed out the truth?’ Surya retorted. ‘Saale, you are not playing because she’s your sweetheart. Don’t we know?’
‘Sir, they have lost. Put a point against them,’ Sarwate shouted.
Sir looked at us. The boys were dejected knowing they would lose a point. My mind continued to race. It was imperative that I find the answer. That was the only way to silence the boys.
‘Hey, Shirodkar. Go and write and answer on the board,’Dongre urged.
‘That’s it! Loser! Loser!’ the birdies chorused.