by Phil Gabriel
“Oh, Queenie,” I said, “it’s quite safe where it is. I have taken a vow to protect my student. Any harm to her or her family will be returned tenfold. Few would venture the wrath of a pissed-off magician.”
“Even a kitsune thief?” asked the queen. “Many are known for their cleverness and power.”
Staring into her eyes, I said, “I’ve never seen a bobtailed fox before, but I’m sure it would be quite a sight.”
“So,” said the queen, changing the subject yet again, “a feral magician and his ghost apprentice. Quite rare.”
“A free magician,” I emphasized. “There are more of us than you might think.”
“An untamed magician can cause a lot of damage,” said the queen.
“An unenslaved magician can only hurt those who would harm or enslave him,” I said. “How many magicians have you met, my Queen?”
“Five or six, over the years,” she said.
“Did they all have something in common?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “Aside from being male magic users, they were of all types.”
“Aged, weak, bent?” I prompted.
“Oh, of course,” said the queen. “I assume due to the long time needed to perfect their craft.”
“And how old would you say I was?” I asked.
She probed me with those more-than-human eyes. “Mmmmm, more than fifty, less than one hundred years,” she said. Then, after taking a deep breath, she added, “Except for the time you spent in the fae realms, which would make you even older. In any case, remarkably well preserved.”
“Thanks, Your Highness,” I said. “You’re also remarkably well preserved.” The others gasped, but I didn’t give a crap. “Would you be surprised to know I am the oldest magician you’ve ever met?”
“So, the others were...,” she said.
“Withered, drained, prematurely aged,” I filled in. “That is the fate of bound magicians. To be sucked of all magic and life by witches, whose greed knows no bounds. That is why I refuse to be bound.”
The queen took a sip of her tea. “So, you’re not petitioning to become one of my subjects? I can assure you, my binding is light.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled slyly; she was suddenly the most beautiful woman in the world. “Some would call it pleasurable.”
She turned her gaze to the slave collar around Kitty-Sue’s neck. I had bound one of her family; now she wanted to bind me.
“No, Queenie, I don’t want to become an honorary kitsune,” I snapped back. “However,” I said in a calmer voice, “if you swear fealty to me, we can get along.”
Even in her human guise, the queen had a grin that was both feral and mischievous. “It appears we are at an impasse,” she said, peering over her teacup. She tilted her head quizzically, as if I were an amusing puzzle. “Perhaps a demonstration is in order?”
Up until this point, the others at the table had been merely following along, heads swinging back and forth as the queen and I talked. Now, at this threat, Kitty-Sue and her mother looked shocked, Naughty-Sue was bright-eyed with joy at the drama, and Akiko’s countenance was unruffled, although I could tell through our psychic link that she was scared.
A fight here, on the mortal plane, between a kitsune queen and me? That would cause an enormous amount of damage and many deaths. Would this crazy bitch really do it? I mentally kicked myself; there had been at least four ways I could have turned the conversation away from this.
Inspiration struck. “A demonstration. Excellent idea,” I said, stretching my arms in front of me, fingers intertwined, palms facing the queen. Shaking my hands quickly, I plucked a deck of cards from thin air, fanned them out, and shuffled them. “Let’s let fate decide.”
“Take a card,” I said, “any card. High card wins and the loser has to swear fealty to the winner.”
“A card from your hand,” she scoffed, “after your shuffle. Oh my, magician, you are amusing.”
Quicker than I could react, she snatched the deck out of my hands and performed her own shuffle. I watched closely, but it looked like she had a dozen fingers. With a scary smile, the queen slapped the deck down in front of Kitty-Sue’s mom.
“We’ll cut for high card,” she said.
I gave her my own look of disbelief. “Now Queenie,” I said, “it’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t want there ever to be doubt between us as to the fairness of this game.”
The queen crossed her arms and sat back in her seat. Kitty-Sue’s mom looked relieved.
The queen and I locked gazes, neither willing to trust the other. I leaned back, casually bringing my hand closer to Princess Blade.
With a tilt of her head, the queen said, “You could just trust me. I am royalty, after all.”
I smiled at that. “You know, growing up in the mountains of Tennessee, we learned young how city slickers said ‘Fuck you’...” I trailed off.
The entire table gasped at my rude language, but the queen was amused. “And how do city slickers say ‘Fuck you?’” she inquired.
In my best Tennessee drawl, I said, “Trust me.”
The queen was suddenly quiet, her face set in the same small smile, but her eyes grew cold. The air grew tight around me, and for the first time, I could faintly see the outline of her nine tails rising majestically behind her.
The tension rose, and rose, and rose, the air growing tighter every moment. I felt an urge to back down, beg forgiveness, anything to make her calm down.
Looking at Akiko and Kitty-Sue, I realized the only people I cared about in the world were in this room with me and would share my fate. Damn, life had been so much easier when I could be a coward and run from every fight. Instead, I stared at the queen and widened my smile, giving her a look at my new teeth.
Kitty-Sue’s mom touched the deck of cards in front of her with trembling hands. “Perhaps a neutral party could handle the deck?”
I leaned forward in my chair, putting Princess Blade farther away from my grasp, then intertwined my fingers to show I wasn’t going to perform any spells. “An excellent suggestion,” I said. “I will accept a neutral party.”
The queen’s tails faded, showing she wasn’t about to unleash kitsune magic on my mortal ass. However, her look promised retribution.
“Yesss,” she said slowly, “a neutral party. Natsumi-san, perhaps?”
“No kitsune,” I said.
“And no ghosts,” she said flatly, staring at Akiko.
She looked out through her magical veil, noting that several waiters were in attendance. “Would you accept one of the staff?” she asked. “I can assure you they do not know of me.”
I pressed my lips together in thought. “I don’t know...” I muttered. “They’re still Japanese—they might have a preference.”
Naughty-Sue slapped her hand down on the table. “Idiot,” she said. “Of course they’re Japanese. We’re in Japan. A random waiter won’t care one way or the other who we are!”
Reluctantly, I nodded. “OK, I will accept a neutral third party. Let’s get this over with.”
The queen tilted her head, and a waiter hurried over to us. The queen spoke to him in Japanese. I looked at Akiko, and she immediately started with a running translation. “She’s just asking the waiter to help us with a game of chance.”
“Now,” continued Akiko, “she’s asking if he can shuffle the deck and deal two cards, one to the queen and one to you.”
The puzzled waiter nodded his assent and said “Hai” several times before picking up the deck and clumsily shuffling the cards. After several minutes of his fumbling, he was ready to deal the cards.
“Wait a minute, Queenie,” I interjected. “Isn’t nine your lucky number? He shuffled the deck nine times.”
The queen had the slightest self-satisfied grin. “Oh really? I hadn’t kept count. Is this a problem for you?” she said as her grin widened.
At a certain point, you have to let the die fall. I nodded to the dealer, and he dealt two cards, the firs
t to the queen and the second to me, before placing the rest of the deck back on the table.
The queen stared at the cards with those more-than-human eyes, then reached down to flip her card. At the tingle of kitsune magic, I held up one hand. “Please,” I said before she could touch the card, “let the neutral party do the honors.”
The queen drew her hand back slowly, her expression growing colder. However, she nodded at the waiter, who reached down and flipped over her card.
“A queen of hearts,” I said, looking at the card. “Very lucky and very hard to beat. How appropriate for you, my queen.”
My mouth grew dry, and I sipped at my now tepid coffee. Would this game work out? Only one way to find out. I nodded to the waiter to flip my card.
Time seemed to slow down as the waiter reached for my card. Everyone was watching intently as the pasteboard that represented my fate was touched, caught, and flipped over. We were staring at my fate.
Meeting the queen’s gaze levelly, I said, “A king of spades, my queen. Just slightly higher in rank than the queen of hearts.”
The waiter bowed and left, his task done. As he exited the magic bubble, I reached over and picked up Princess Blade. Holding her up in my right hand, I willed her to assume her true form. “Did you know,” I asked as the sword’s ruddy light filled our little room, “the term ‘spade’ refers to the Latin spatha, a sword? What better card for the holder of Princess Blade?”
Of course, she knew. Kitsune are excellent linguists, the better to entice and trick mortals.
Naughty-Sue murmured, “Hihi’irokane,” naming the magical metal that Princess was composed of, and eyed me like a hungry cat looks at a mouse. Princess was, without a doubt, the most powerful Artifact of Power they had ever seen.
“Oh, my,” whispered the queen as the magical flames danced in her eyes. It was the first time I had seen surprise on her composed visage. “How did you get that sword?” she finally asked.
“It was gifted to me by a dying fae prince,” I replied. “I used it to release his spirit, captured by Jorōgumo, from eternal torment.”
“The fae say that their swords can only be gifted by their owner, and the sword itself gets to decide if the new owner is worthy,” said the queen. “You were considered worthy?”
She obviously had a low opinion of magicians. “Well, Queenie,” I answered with a smirk, “the number of contenders was small.”
Surprising me, the queen clapped her hands and smiled a genuine smile. “Well played, magician,” she said. “The best entertainment I have had in years. You have safe conduct in Tokyo, and I will make no attempts on your freedom.”
Kitty-Sue looked at me with one eyebrow raised. Of course, she understood that the queen had stated that she would take no action against me. That left all the other members of their trickster clan to contend with.
Also, the gamble to have her swear fealty to me had transformed into a “safe conduct” pact. Damn, I had really wanted to order the queen around. Still, this was probably the best outcome I could have hoped for.
I willed Princess back into her mundane shape, the flames dimming until she was once again an umbrella.
At an unseen gesture, the waiters arrived to take away our dishes. My dealer pocketed the deck of cards we had used for our contest.
“Thank you for inviting us,” said the queen as she rose from her chair.
I opened my mouth to tell the rude bitch to cough up the cash for our overpriced snacks, but I caught a look of terror in Kitty-Sue’s eyes and a slight headshake. I bit my tongue and smiled with all the venom I could muster.
“It’s been my pleasure,” I said. “I’ve never had a kitsune queen before.” At her shocked look, I added, “As a guest, I mean.”
Kitty-Sue gave me a look that said, “Don’t pull the tail of a kitsune, especially a nine-tailed kitsune.”
A few minutes later, Akiko, Kitty-Sue, and I were alone in the coffee shop, and I was looking at a huge bill. I promised myself the next time I wanted a twenty-dollar cup of coffee, I would come back here. Still, the encounter had ended without a fight, and with a promise of safe passage from the queen of the kitsune, which was more precious than gold.
As we walked out, I turned towards the stairs. “Girls,” I said, “I have to go to the bar upstairs and have a drink. Would you like to join me?”
They said yes, but excused themselves to visit the ladies room when we reached the top of the escalator that led towards the bar. I was puzzled for a moment—as a ghost, Akiko didn’t really need to use restrooms. In the end, I realized that they just wanted to talk without me overhearing.
The waiter who had flipped my cards was behind the bar. At my approach, he pulled a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label from under the bar, placed a gleaming tumbler containing one ice cube on the bar, and poured me a generous shot.
Sliding onto the stool opposite the barman, I hooked Princess on the back of the stool next to mine so she could people-watch. I sipped the sweet nectar, relaxing for the first time today. The bartender tilted his head at me and raised his eyebrows.
“Pour one for yourself, my friend,” I said.
Like the best barmen, he didn’t say much. Just poured himself a generous shot of Johnnie Walker over ice.
As he sipped, I asked, “Did you bring it?”
He glanced at the entrance, where Kitty-Sue and the invisible Akiko were coming in. “It’s OK,” I said. “They’re friends of mine.”
Turning in my stool, I waved to the girls. “Please come join us,” I said. “Drinks are on me.”
Surprise dawned on Kitty-Sue’s face. “Wasn’t he your dealer downstairs?”
“Ah, yes,” I said. “It’s a small world. Ladies, meet my friend, Nakamura-san. Nakamura-san, please meet my very good friends, Kitty-Sue and Akiko-san.”
Nakamura-san bowed to Kitty-Sue and essayed another bow in the direction of the invisible Akiko. At my request, he prepared fancy drinks for the girls, not even hesitating at creating a drink for an invisible girl.
Once we were all served, he produced a lock of gray hair, placing it on a napkin before me. The hairs were braided with care, forming a loop about the size of a hundred-yen coin.
“This is it?” I asked.
“Hai,” he replied.
As I reached into my satchel, Kitty-Sue leaned forward and took a sniff of the hair, then turned her nose in the direction of our bartender.
Inhaling deeply, she nodded in satisfaction before saying to Nakamura-san, “Okaa san?”
Nakamura-san nodded and replied, “Hai, haha.”
Kitty-Sue leaned back in her barstool, showing a lot of leg, and sipped her drink, waiting for this scene to play out.
I nodded to her, touching a finger to my ears, indicating that the other patrons could hear us. With a sly smile and eyes narrowed in concentration, she formed a kitsune bubble around our little group. Not as large, and not as impenetrable as her aunt’s, but still more than sufficient to the task.
I opened my palm to show the object pulled from the inter-dimensional reaches of my satchel. A gold coin, engraved with glyphs. To mortal eyes, it was just a coin. However, Akiko gasped when she saw it, as the coin was eye-searingly bright to magical vision. “So, you do have more!” she exclaimed.
“I always keep a few tricks up my sleeve,” I answered. “I can use your help in this next spell. We need to create a healing focus.”
As I discussed the project with Akiko, Kitty-Sue chatted with Nakamura-san. My style of magic was of little interest to Kitty-Sue, and Nakamura-san couldn’t follow the flows of magic.
In a few minutes, the napkin was littered with mystical symbols that surrounded the coin and the lock of hair. I picked up the lock of hair and set it carefully on the coin. Preparing for the spell, I heard Akiko say “May I?” as she placed her ghost fingers over my own, the better to follow and learn the required gestures. Her touch was surprisingly erotic, sending tingles up my arms. The ghostly scent of her perfume mad
e me aware of her nearness. She was bent down studying the patterns, her breasts straining at the ectoplasmic material of her blouse.
At a murmured “Ahem” from Kitty-Sue, I quickly looked up to see her jealous face. I winked at her, and she couldn’t resist a smile.
Back to the spell, concentration fully on the project, I wove the patterns needed and forced an enormous amount of energy into the hair and gold. It took a minute, but the upper surface of the gold coin seemed to change, turning into a fine mist. This mist rose up about a quarter inch and enveloped the lock of hair. Another application of power and the mist solidified, embedding the lock of hair in the coin.
Nakamura-san had been watching intently, although the flows of magic and Akiko’s assistance were invisible to him. He could see the sublimation of the gold as it enveloped the lock of hair.
Finally finished with the working, I looked up at his anxious eyes, nodding to indicate that the spell had been successful. I reached down to the bar top, breaking the circle, and lifted the coin. With a flourish, I presented the coin on my palm to Nakamura-san.
He accepted the coin with trembling fingers and examined it closely, handling it as if it would pop like a soap bubble. I reached into my satchel to pull out a circular clip and an eighteen-inch-long golden chain. Taking the coin back from Nakamura-san, I secured the clip and chain to the coin. To mundane vision, the chain appeared as something much more valuable than the amulet. Returning the amulet and chain to Nakamura-san, I asked Kitty-Sue to translate, not wanting Nakamura-san’s English comprehension to cause problems.
“Your mother must wear this necklace around her neck for no less than five days. It must touch her skin the entire time, so must be worn even while bathing and sleeping. Her back should straighten in the first two days, with complete elimination of her osteoporosis by the end of five days.
“After that period, she should plan on visiting one of the Hakone onsens. Bathing in the hot springs with the amulet at least once per year will recharge the magic.”