by Tina Beckett
This is what you wanted. You’ll make captain faster this way.
And that was what really mattered—proving herself.
“I don’t think I’m getting crummy shifts.”
Bunny snorted again. “Commander, with all due respect, you’re getting played with.”
Bunny moved away from the nursing station to check on a patient and, as Erica glanced around the recovery room, she had to agree.
Since her arrival a week ago all she’d been getting was night shifts.
Which seriously sucked, because by the time she’d clocked out she was too exhausted to explore, socialize or make friends in Okinawa. Then again, she was here to work, not to make friends. After her shift, she’d return to her housing on base and collapse.
Maybe she’d unpack. Though she didn’t usually do that until she’d been on-site for at least a month.
No. She’d probably just crash and sleep the day away. Except for the first day she’d arrived and met with Dr. Wilder, she hadn’t seen Okinawa in the daylight.
He’s putting you through your paces.
That was something she was familiar with.
Even though she was a high-ranking officer, she was positive the other surgeons were having fun initiating her, seeing how their commanding officer was doing it.
“Stupid ritual,” she mumbled to herself.
“What was that, Commander?”
Erica snapped the chart closed and stood to attention when she realized Dr. Wilder was standing behind her. “Nothing, sir.”
Thorne cocked an eyebrow, a smile of bemusement on his face. “You’re not up for formal inspection, Commander. At ease.”
Erica opened her chart again and flipped to the page she’d left off at, trying to ignore the fact that Dr. Wilder was standing in front of her. She could feel his gaze on her.
“I heard the whole conversation with Bunny,” he mentioned casually.
“Oh, yes?” Erica didn’t look up.
“I’m scheduling you for the night shift deliberately. You do realize that?”
“I know, Captain Wilder.”
“You know?” There was a hint of confusion in his voice.
Erica sighed; she was never going to finish this chart at this rate. She set down her pen and glanced up at him. “Yes. Of course you are. I’m not a stranger to this treatment.”
“I bet you’re not.” He leaned against the counter. “You think it’s a stupid ritual?”
“I do.” She wasn’t going to sugarcoat anything. She never did.
His eyes widened, surprised. “Why?”
“It’s bullying.”
“You think I’m bullying you?” he asked.
“Of course. I’m new.”
“And it doesn’t bother you?”
“The ritual bothers me. I think it’s not needed, but it’s not going to dissuade me from my job.”
There was a brief flash of disappointment. Like he’d been trying to get her to snap or something. She was made of stronger mettle than that and he’d have to do a damn lot more to sway her. She was here to stay for the long haul, or at least until she made captain—and then the possibilities would be endless.
“Well, then, you won’t mind working the night shift again next week.”
So much for unpacking.
“Of course not.” She shrugged. “Is that all you wanted to talk about, my shift work?”
His gaze narrowed. “You’re very flippant to your commanding officer.”
She wanted to retort something about him being on her operating table five years ago, but she bit her tongue. The last time she’d lost her cool, when she’d forgotten about the delicate and precise hierarchy, she’d lost her commendation. Of course, that had been a totally different situation with a former lover. Captain Wilder wasn’t her lover. He was just a former patient and now her commanding officer.
She was used to this macho behavior. Erica could take whatever he had to throw at her. As long as he didn’t bring up what happened during her first post, but she seriously doubted he knew all the details about it because he would’ve mentioned it by now.
Everyone always did.
“Sorry, sir.” Though she wasn’t. Not in the least.
“It won’t last forever.” He was smirking again.
“Can I be frank, Captain Wilder?”
He shrugged. “By all means.”
“Perhaps we should go somewhere privately to discuss this.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Fine, suit yourself.” The recovery area was usually quiet, but it was even more so now, and it felt like everyone was fixated on her and Captain Wilder. “If this is your way to try and make me crack, you won’t succeed.”
Thorne crossed his arms. “Really? You think this is a means to drive you away?”
“I do and you won’t succeed. If there’s one thing you’ll learn from my file, Captain, it is that I don’t give up. I won’t give up. So I’ll take whatever you have for me, Captain, and I won’t complain. So, if you’re looking to see me break, you won’t. If night shifts are what you want to give me, so be it. I’ve done countless night shifts before. It’s fine. If your plan is to ostracize me, well, then, you won’t succeed unless I’m the only one working and there are no patients. I’m tougher than I appear, Captain Wilder.”
* * *
Thorne was impressed. He didn’t want to be, but he was. She barely saw the light of day, yet she came in and did everything without a complaint. When he’d heard her mumble something about stupidity, he’d been planning to swoop in and make his kill. Push her to the breaking point.
Only she’d risen to the challenge and basically told him to bring it on.
Yes, his goal with the numerous night shifts was to ostracize her, but it wasn’t working. He admired that. He didn’t want to, but he did. She was right. It wouldn’t work unless she was working by herself out in the middle of a desert somewhere. He was so impressed.
So she’ll take whatever I give her.
It was time to throw her off.
“Tell you what. You’re on days as of Saturday. Take tomorrow off and readjust your inner clock. I’ll see you at zero nine hundred hours. Get some sleep. You obviously need it.”
He didn’t give her a chance to respond; he turned and walked away, trying not to let her see his limp, because his leg had been bothering him today, and maybe because of that he’d decided to be a bit soft on her.
No, that wasn’t it. At least, that was what he told himself.
Just as she wouldn’t back down, he wouldn’t either.
Thorne would make sure she left the hospital and that it would be her idea. Even though he kept his distance he was always aware of what she was doing and when he was around her he felt his resolve soften because she impressed him so.
He was drawn to her.
No woman had affected him like this in a long time. Even then he wasn’t sure any woman had had this kind of hold on him.
Don’t think about her that way.
Only he couldn’t help himself. He’d been thinking about her, seeing her face for years.
She haunted him.
Why did I bring her here?
Because he was a masochist. He was taunting himself with something, someone he couldn’t have.
A twinge of pain racked through him. He needed to seek the solace of his office, so no one saw him suffer.
Erica had to go before things got out of hand.
He pushed the elevator button and when it opened he walked in. Thankfully it was empty at this time of night and he could lean against the wall and take some weight off his stump. Even if it was just a moment, he’d take it.
He waited until the doors were almost shut before relaxing, but just as the doors were about to close, they opened and Erica stepped onto the elevator.
Damn it.
He braced himself. “Can I help you, Commander?”
“Excuse me, Captain, but I don’t understand why you’ve suddenly c
hanged your mind about my shifts. Didn’t you understand what I was saying to you?”
“I do understand English,” he snapped.
Go away.
“Why did you suddenly change my shift? Especially so publically. Others will think you’re being easy on me or that I’m a whiner.”
“Weren’t you whining?”
“No. I don’t whine. You don’t have to give me a day shift.”
“I thought that’s what you wanted.”
Erica pushed the emergency stop and the elevator grinded to a halt. “I want you to treat me like any other surgeon, like any other officer. I’m not green behind the ears, or however that saying goes.”
“It’s wet behind the ears,” Thorne corrected her.
“Well, I’m not that.”
No. You’re not.
Thorne resisted the urge to smile and he resisted the urge to pull her in his arms and kiss her. Her brown eyes were dark with what he was sure was barely controlled rage, her cheeks flushed red. She was ticked off and he loved the fire in her.
His desire for Erica was unwelcome. He couldn’t have a romantic attachment.
I don’t deserve it.
Emotions were weakness.
Compassion for his patients, he had that in plenty, but these kinds of feelings were unwelcome. Still, he couldn’t stop them from coming, and as she stood in the elevator berating him he fought with every fiber of his being not to press her up against the elevator wall and show her exactly what he was thinking, that he’d fantasized about her for five years.
“Well?” she demanded and he realized he hadn’t been listening to a word she’d been saying. He’d totally zoned out, which was unlike him. He rarely lost focus, because if you lost focus you were dead.
At least that was what he’d picked up in his years in the Navy SEALs Special Ops and on the numerous dive missions.
Tyler had lost focus and that was why the sniper would have finished him off, if Thorne hadn’t thrown himself in the path. Just like the stupid mistake he’d made when Liam had thrown him out of the way and paid with his life. Thorne had only lost a leg saving Tyler’s life.
Just thinking about that moment made his phantom limb send an electric jolt of pain up through his body and he winced.
“Are you all right?” Erica asked, and she reached out and touched his shoulder.
He brushed her hand away. “I’m fine.” He took a deep breath.
“You look like you’re in pain.”
“I said I was fine!” He straightened up, putting all his weight on his prosthetic and working through the pain. “I won’t give you an easy ride, but I also won’t be so cruel. I realize that my actions are detrimental to your mental health.”
The words “mental health” struck a chord with her. He could tell by the way the blood drained from her face. He knew they would hurt. In her file he’d read that her first commendation had been turned down due to her being unfit emotionally. Though he didn’t have the details as to why, that was unimportant. His barb worked and he regretted it.
“My mental health is fine,” she said quietly.
“Is it?”
She didn’t glance at him as she slapped the emergency button, the elevator starting again. The elevator stopped on the next floor and the doors opened. She stepped out. The confidence, the strength which had been with her only a moment ago, had vanished.
And, though he should be pleased that he’d got to her, he wasn’t. Thorne hated himself for doing that to her.
It’s for the best. She’s dangerous to you.
“Thank you for your time, Captain. I will see you on Saturday at zero nine hundred hours.” The doors closed and she was gone and Thorne was left with a bitter taste in his mouth. His small victory wasn’t so sweet.
CHAPTER THREE
“AHA!” ERICA PULLED out her sneakers from the box. “It’s been a long time.”
Great. You’re talking to sneakers now.
Maybe she was overtired. As she glanced around the room at all the boxes she realized how disorganized her life had become.
It wasn’t many boxes, but she didn’t really like living in a state of chaos. She’d gone from the USNV Hope to San Diego and within forty-eight hours she’d been posted to Okinawa.
If she kept busy she didn’t notice it so much, but now that she had some free time it irked her.
She’d rather be busy than not. Relaxation was all well and good, but she had a job to do. She stared at her bright-blue sneakers with the neon yellow laces. Although she loved running, it was not what she wanted to be doing today.
Erica would rather be in the hospital removing a gall bladder. She’d even take paperwork.
This was a new posting and she had a lot to prove.
Not only to herself, but to her comrades.
Damn Captain Wilder.
Questioning her mental health like that. How dared he?
Are you surprised?
He was probably just like Captain Seaton—threatened by her. She cursed Captain Seaton for being a major puenez, or “stinkbug”, as her mamère often said about men who were scared of strong women. She was also mad at herself for being duped by Captain Seaton and letting him affect her career.
And then she chuckled to herself for condemning her superior who had given her the day off. Most people wouldn’t be complaining about that and she found it humorous that she was condemning the man again.
Hadn’t she done enough damage when she’d had to take his leg after it had got infected?
The guilt about ending his career as a SEAL ate at her, but not her decision to take his leg. There was no help for that. He would’ve died.
Perhaps he would’ve preferred death?
“Your father wanted to die and the Navy gave him the means to do so.”
Erica shuddered, thinking about her mother’s vitriol, because it made her think of that last moment she’d seen her father—the haunted look in his eyes as he’d shipped out.
“Be good, Erica. You’re my girl.”
He’d held her tight, but it hadn’t been the same embrace she’d been used to. Three days later, he’d gone AWOL. Two weeks later, after a dishonorable discharge, he’d ended his life.
You did right by Thorne. Just like the surgeons saved your father’s life the first time he was injured. You saved Thorne’s life.
It was her job to save lives, not end them. His desire to die was not her concern any more. She’d saved his life and they’d taken him away. Captain Thorne Wilder was no longer her concern.
She’d done her duty by him and that was how she slept at night.
Erica sat down on her couch and slipped on her running shoes, lacing them up. There wasn’t much she could do. She wasn’t on duty today, unless there was an emergency, so she might as well make the best of it. Besides, running along a beach might be more challenging than running laps on a deck.
She stretched and headed out to a small tract of beach near her quarters. Though the sky was a bit dark, the sea wasn’t rough, and the waves washing up on shore would make her feel like she was out on the open sea. Back on the Hope.
As she jogged out toward the beach she got to see more of the base. It was pretty active for being on such a small island far off the mainland of Japan.
The hospital was certainly more active than being on the Hope. Unless they were responding to a disaster, there were stretches at sea where they weren’t utilizing their medical skills. Those stretches were filled with rigorous drills and simulations.
As she headed out onto the beach, she followed what appeared to be a well-worn path along the edge so she wouldn’t have to run in the sand.
Erica opted to go off the path and headed out onto the sand. It slowed her down, but she didn’t care. It would work her muscles more.
Besides, even though it was a bit overcast, it was still a beautiful day on the beach. The palm trees were swaying and the waves lapping against the shore made her smile.
As she rounded
the bend to a small cove, she realized she wasn’t the only one who was on the beach at this moment and it made her stop in her tracks.
Thorne.
He was about fifteen feet away from her, in casual clothes, his arms crossed and his gaze locked on the water. She followed where he was looking and could see swimmers not too far out in the protected cove.
I have to get out of here.
She turned to leave but, as if sensing someone was watching him, his gaze turned to her. Even from a distance she could feel his stare piercing through her protective walls. A stare which would make any lesser man or woman cringe from its hard edge, but not her.
Of course, now she couldn’t turn and leave. He’d seen her, there was no denying that. He walked toward her fluidly as if there was no prosthesis there. So different from yesterday when he’d moved stiffly, his chiseled face awash with pain.
His face was expressionless, controlled and devoid of emotion.
So unlike the first time she’d met him, when he’d begged her not to take his leg and made her heart melt for him just a little bit.
“Commander, what a surprise to find you here,” he said pleasantly, but she could detect the undertone of mistrust. He was questioning why and she had the distinct feeling her appearance was an unwelcome one.
“It’s my day off and I thought a run along the beach would be nice.”
It was nice until I ran into you.
“Never heard someone mention a run as nice.” He raised an eyebrow.
Erica gritted her teeth. “I haven’t seen much of the base since I first arrived. I’m usually sleeping when the sun is out.”
Ha ha! Take that.
He nodded, but those blue eyes still held her, keeping her grounded to the spot as he assessed her. No wonder he’d been a Navy SEAL; apparently he could read people, make them uneasy and do it all with a cold, calculating calm. Even though it annoyed Erica greatly that it was directed at her at this moment, she couldn’t help but admire that quality.
It was why it made the SEALs the best of the best.
Only, she wasn’t some insurgent being interrogated or some new recruit. There was a reason she’d been one of the top students in her class at Annapolis.