by Tina Beckett
“Did they say what caused his death?” she asked, hoping Thorne could give her a more tangible answer.
“No, but there will be a postmortem, and maybe then we can get an answer. I’m thinking that the drugs, the shock of the attack and surgery was just too much of a strain on him. It’s rare, but it does happen.”
Erica nodded. “Well, why don’t you join me and drink to Corporal Ryder’s memory.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” he asked.
She nodded. “Oh, yeah.”
“Then I’d love to join you, but you made it clear we can’t be friends.”
Erica winced. “I overreacted. I’m sorry. We can be friends.”
“Okay.” He motioned to Scooby who brought him a stubby-looking bottle.
“What’s that?” she asked, because she couldn’t read the Japanese on the label.
“It’s beer. I don’t know what kind, but it’s damn good.”
“I didn’t know the Japanese brewed beer.”
“You should’ve done your research before you took a posting in Okinawa prefect, then.”
Erica snorted. “I did my research, I just somehow missed that.”
“Okay, what do you know?”
She looked at him strangely. “Are you testing me?”
Thorne shrugged. “Why not? You said you studied.”
Erica shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. “What part of ‘pain in my butt’ didn’t you get?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of a pub quiz before?”
“Really?”
Thorne chuckled. “Okay, fine. Although the prize would’ve been totally worth it.”
“Prize?” Erica asked. “Now I’m intrigued. What would be my prize?”
He grinned. “Play and find out.”
Just walk away.
The prize was probably something not worth it. Or something totally inappropriate—not that she would mind being inappropriate with Thorne, if he hadn’t been her commanding officer; if they didn’t have a history as surgeon and patient. Yet here she was, falling into this sweet trap again.
He’s not Seaton. They’re not all Seaton.
Which was true, but after a couple of drinks she was willing to let her guard down. It’s the booze.
And maybe it was completely innocuous. Perhaps he was just being kind and just trying to get her mind off the fact that they’d lost someone today. Someone who shouldn’t have died.
Since when has Captain Wilder ever been nice to you?
That was the truth. He hadn’t been overly friendly or warm since she’d arrived at the base. Even when he’d been her patient he’d called her names and told her not to take his leg.
He didn’t have the sunniest disposition.
“Like an angel.”
That blasted moment again, sneaking into her mind, making her thoughts all jumbled and confused. She should just walk away, but she was too intrigued not to find out what the prize was. Besides, when was the last time she’d backed away from a challenge? If it was something inappropriate she could tell him where to go; they were off duty.
Still, she wasn’t here because of a lark.
“I don’t think it’s appropriate.”
“Because of Corporal Ryder?” Thorne asked.
“Yeah. Maybe I should just call it a night.” She got up to leave, but he reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving.
“Don’t go,” he said.
Erica sat down. “Okay, but I have to say I’m not in much of a jovial mood. Prize or not.”
Thorne chuckled. “Tell you what, you’ll still get your prize.”
“And what would that be?”
“A tour around Ginowan and the countryside. You could test your knowledge.”
Erica couldn’t help but smile. When Thorne wanted to be, he was charming. “I don’t think that’s wise.”
“Why?”
She didn’t know how to answer that truthfully.
Because I don’t want to be alone with you. Because my career is more important.
Because I’m weak.
“I don’t think that’s wise. You’re my commanding officer.”
Thorne’s face remained expressionless. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”
Even though he didn’t show any sign of anger, there was tension in his voice and possibly a sense of rejection. She knew that tone well enough from other guys she’d turned down, because there just wasn’t time for romance.
And because you’re frightened.
Erica stood. “I should go. Good night, Captain Wilder.”
Thorne nodded but didn’t look at her. “I’ll see you in the morning, Commander Griffin.”
* * *
Thorne watched her leave the bar; even though he shouldn’t, he did. It was good that she’d turned him down. He didn’t know what had come over him.
Probably the beer.
“You’re looking for trouble with that one,” Scooby said.
Thorne snorted. “I’m not looking for trouble.”
“Good, because that one is strong willed. Why did you tell her I can’t speak English?”
Thorne chuckled. “I was playing with her.”
“Ay-ay-ay. Perhaps I should warn her off of you, Captain Wilder. Perhaps you’re nothing but trouble.” Scooby smiled and set another bottle of beer down on the counter. “I’m sorry to hear about the corporal. He was a good man.”
“He was.”
“I would like to send something to his family.” Scooby reached behind the bar and pulled out a picture. “This was from last month. Corporal Ryder led our bowling team to victory.”
Thorne smiled at the picture of Scooby, Corporal Ryder and some other officers in horrific bright-orange bowling shirts holding up matching color marble balls.
“I’m sure they’d like that.”
Scooby nodded and walked away. Thorne carefully placed the framed picture down and then set the shark tooth on top of it.
Damn you, Ryder.
“You hold on, Liam. Do you hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“It’s not as bad as you think. You can live.”
Liam shook his head. “No, little brother.”
“Stop calling me little. I’m three minutes younger than you.”
Liam chuckled, his pupils dilating, his breathing shallow. “You’ll always be my little brother, Thorne. Remember that.”
Thorne cursed under his breath and finished off his beer. He didn’t want to think about Liam right now.
When do you ever?
It was true. Since Liam had died in his arms, he didn’t like to think about him.
But then, who would want to think about a loved one they couldn’t save?
One who could’ve been saved.
One that would still have been alive if he hadn’t made such a foolish mistake.
CHAPTER SIX
DAMN AND DOUBLE DAMN.
Erica turned on her heel and tried to walk away as fast as she could, even though the little voice inside her head told her that she couldn’t avoid Captain Wilder for the rest of her life. She was his second in command.
Needless to say, she was damn well going to try.
“Commander Griffin—a word, if you will.”
Erica grimaced and cursed under her breath.
Damn.
She turned around slowly as Thorne walked toward her. He wasn’t wearing his usual scrubs; he was in uniform. Not the full dress and not the fatigues—the service khaki and it didn’t look half bad on him.
The khaki brought out the brilliant blue color in his eyes.
Damn.
“Of course, Captain Wilder. How can I help you?”
He shook his head. “Not here. Let’s go to my office.”
Erica’s stomach knotted. Oh, great. What was going to happen to her now? Last time she’d been involved with a commanding officer she’d been sent packing. That was why she didn’t mix work and relationships.
>
They walked in silence to his office. He opened the door for her.
“Please have a seat.”
“I prefer to stand, if you don’t mind, Captain.”
Thorne frowned. “Why are you standing at attention, Commander?”
“Aren’t I being called up on the rug?”
“It’s called ‘out on the carpet’. I think that’s what you mean.”
Erica sighed. “Right.”
“No, Commander. You’re not being scolded. At ease.”
She relaxed, but not completely. This time she wasn’t going to be caught unawares. This time she’d be ready for whatever Captain Wilder had for her. Erica planned to keep this commission. She wasn’t going to be run out of another one. Not this time. Since her Rhode Island posting, when her reputation had been left in tatters, she’d worked damned hard to get it back. It was her prize intangible possession. Her reputation was at stake and that was all she had left.
“You can sit, Commander.”
“I still prefer to stand, Captain.”
“I’d prefer it if you’d sit.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I never sit in the presence of a lady who remains standing. It’s how I was raised. So if you would sit, then I could sit—and I’d really like to sit because my leg has been bothering me something fierce today.”
Erica could see the discomfort etched in his face, the barely controlled pain. His knuckles were white as he was gripping the back of his chair and there was a fine sheen of sweat across his brow. It wasn’t about nicety; he was suffering.
“I’m sorry, Captain.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, please just have a seat.”
She nodded and sat down on the other side of his desk. Even though he told her she wasn’t being reprimanded, she was still ill at ease. She had no idea why Thorne wanted to see her.
Performance review?
One could only hope. She’d been at the job for a month now.
“Commander, I called you up here because I want to apologize.”
What? “I’m sorry…what, Captain?”
“Apologize, Commander. It’s not an easy thing for me to say, but that’s why I called you up here.”
“I’m not sure I quite understand.”
“For making you feel uncomfortable at the bar two weeks ago and on the beach. I know the corporal’s death affected you and it looked like you needed a friend. I’m sorry if my actions were out of line.”
“Thank you, Captain.” Erica was stunned. She’d never had a superior apologize to her before. It surprised her. There were many things she’d been expecting him to say, but an apology had not been one of them. “I’m sorry too.”
Thorne cocked an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For avoiding you.”
A smile broke out on his face, his eyes twinkling. “I knew you were.”
“You did.”
“You’re not that aloof, Erica. May I call you Erica now?”
She nodded. “Yes. I think we’ve established that when we’re alone that’s acceptable.”
“So, why have you been avoiding me?”
“I thought it was for the best. I’m here to prove myself. I’m not here to make friends.”
“Everyone needs a friend.”
“Not me.” And she meant it.
“Really? I’m intrigued—you have no friends?”
Erica rolled her eyes. “I have friends, just not here. At home and not in the service.” Well, except for Regina, but he didn’t need to know that.
“I’m talking about friends here. You need a friend.”
“And what about you?”
Thorne leaned back in his chair, tenting his fingers. “What about me?”
“Who are your friends, if you don’t mind me asking? You work just as much as I do, if not more. I’ve been to Scooby’s bar a couple of times and two weeks ago was the first time I saw you there.”
“Scooby knows English, by the way.”
“What?” she asked.
“I was pulling your leg, but he warned me that I should tell you the truth.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why I fell for that. I knew he knew English. He’s been living around the base his whole life.”
Thorne shrugged. “It’s a bit of an initiation.”
“I thought my crazy shifts at the beginning were that.”
“Partly.” He grinned. “It’s true, I don’t have many friends here, being the commanding officer of the trauma department and being involved in Special Ops training. Well, as much as I can be with my prosthetic. I can’t do much in the way of water training.”
“We can be friends.” Erica was stunned when the words slipped out of her mouth and she could tell Thorne was just as surprised.
“Really? After that whole rigmarole you just gave me about being here to prove yourself and not make friends?”
She smiled. “Perhaps you’re wearing me down. Perhaps I do need a friend.”
Their gazes locked and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks; hear her pulse thunder in her ears.
You’re weak. So weak.
“I’m glad,” he said, finally breaking the tension which crackled between them. “Very glad. So I can assume my apology is accepted.”
“Yes.”
“Good. So were you really avoiding me because you didn’t want to be friends or was it something else? You know, I used to interrogate people in the Special Ops. I know when someone is lying to me.” He got up and moved toward her, sitting on the edge of his desk in front of her. Their bodies were so close, but not quite touching.
Get a grip on yourself.
“Fine. I was avoiding you because I thought perhaps you might’ve been coming on to me.”
“And if I was?”
Flames licked through her body.
“Then it would be inappropriate,” she said, meeting his gaze. “It would be unwelcome.”
No. It wouldn’t.
Thorne nodded and moved away. “Good, because I wasn’t—and I wanted to make sure you weren’t avoiding me because you thought I was being inappropriate with you, Commander.”
She should be glad, but she wasn’t. If Thorne wasn’t her captain or her former patient…if she hadn’t seen him at his most vulnerable… Well, there was no point in dwelling on the past. The past couldn’t be changed and there was no possible hope or future with Thorne. None. He was off-limits.
“I’m glad to hear that.” She stood. “May I get back to my duties? I was about to start rounds.”
“Of course. But, look, my offer still stands about taking you around Ginowan. As friends. I think it would do you good to get off the base and see some sights. I know you’re used to working on a ship where there weren’t many escape options.”
“Thank you. I would like that.”
He nodded. “It’ll do you good to get out there. We’ll meet tomorrow at zero nine hundred hours. You’re dismissed, Commander.”
Erica saluted and left his office posthaste. Not because she was late for rounds, but because once again she found she had to put some distance between her and Thorne. Why did he have to be her commanding officer? Why was she even thinking about him in that way? She’d lost her prestigious posting in Rhode Island because she’d dated a commanding officer and when it had gone south she’d been thrown under the bus.
“Lieutenant Griffin is mentally unfit to become a commander. Look what happened to her father.”
Men couldn’t be trusted.
She didn’t need this, yet he was right. Erica was lonely and, even though she tried to tell herself otherwise, she wanted the companionship Thorne was offering.
She wanted the friendship and maybe something more.
And that thought scared her.
* * *
Thorne pulled up in front of Erica’s quarters in his tiny Japanese-made turbo. She had to suppress a giggle when she saw him because the car was so small and he was so tall.
He rolled down the window. “I’d open the door for you, but once I get behind the wheel it’s a bit of a pain to get out and back in with my leg.”
“No worries.” She checked to make sure her door was locked and then headed for the car. She climbed into the passenger seat. She was five-ten and it was a squeeze for her too. So she could only imagine that Thorne might’ve needed a shoehorn to get his big Nordic frame into this little hatchback.
“I thought you would’ve driven an SUV or something,” she said.
“Not in Okinawa. Some of the roads are narrow. I do have a nice, big gas-guzzling truck on my mom’s farm back in Minnesota.”
“Minnesota. That doesn’t surprise me, given your Viking name.”
He grinned. “Yes, my family is from Norway. Your name, though: it’s hard to figure where you’re from.”
“I was a Navy brat, but my mamère—my grandmother—lived in the bayous of Louisiana and I was born there.”
“A Southern girl.”
“Yes, sir. Though don’t ask me to do a Creole accent or drawl or whatever. I don’t have one. I was born in New Orleans, but I didn’t live there very long. I was raised on the East and West Coasts. Except for a three-year stint in Arizona.”
“Yet you blurt out some Cajun every once in a while.”
“A bit. I spent a lot of summers with Mamère.”
“You’ve been all over.”
“Yes and working on a medical ship helped with that.”
“I bet.” He put the car into drive. “You haven’t seen Okinawa yet.”
“No. I haven’t.”
“You’re in for a real treat, then.”
He signaled and pulled away, down the road to the base’s entrance. They signed out with the Master of Arms on duty. Once the gate lifted they were off down the road toward the city of Ginowan. The wind blew in her hair and she could smell the sea. She took a deep breath and relaxed. It was the first time in a long time she’d actually sat back and relaxed.
“Where are we headed?” she asked, not that she really cared where they were going. She was just happy to be off the base and seeing the sights.
“There’s a temple in Ginowan that’s pretty. Thought we’d stop there first. Maybe we can spot some Shisa dogs.”
“What are Shisa dogs?”
“They guard the island. There are stone carvings of lion dogs hidden everywhere.”