Carina wanted to say she wasn’t. She’d come close a few times, but doubt and uncertainty had held her back. It wasn’t like she didn’t know what happened. She’d studied the diagrams and with the many books she read, she should be a pro by now.
She nodded mutely, uneasy with her admission.
He smiled, seemingly pleased, running his fingers through her hair. “What you have is precious. Don’t give it to just anyone.”
Total fail. A sex god had offered her use of his body and she didn’t have the nerve to touch him where it counted. How could she ever be the self-confident twenty-first century woman who worked hard and played harder? The top-gun aces venture capitalist firms hired, the ones who made billion dollar deals without breaking a sweat?
“Can I stay with you tonight?” She made one last try.
“What exactly do you want?” Dylan stared at her as if trying to see in to her soul.
I want to be desired, completely relaxed, at ease with my body, and know what it’s like to make love.
She hoped her expression could convey what lurked in her heart. Dylan would be gentle, careful, and considerate. He wouldn’t hurt her and he’d be the perfect teacher.
“You don’t know, do you?” He studied her, his eyes dilated. “I need you to be sure you’re ready. No regrets.”
What should she say? She’d already been bold, made her move. Mutely she blinked, wishing to prolong this moment, but at the same time cringing at the awkwardness.
Dylan swallowed and cleared his throat. “It’s completely up to you whether we have sex or not. I won’t lie to you, though. I’m not the type of guy a nice girl like you should be mixed up with. I like you a lot, but I’m not ready for a relationship.”
In other words, one-night stand, take it or leave it. She felt her smile freeze on her face. Relegated to nice girl status. Great job, Ms. Potential Banker. Except bankers needed thick skin and quick repartee, so she forged on.
“I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend. I’ll look at this as a learning experience.” She hoped she didn’t sound as desperate to him as she did to herself. “I know you’ll be patient.”
“Sure, as long as you’ve no expectations. I don’t want you to get hurt. Although …” He caressed her cheek tenderly. “… you should probably sleep on your decision.”
“Nope.” She looped her arms around his neck. “I want to get it over with. I mean, if you don’t like it, we don’t ever have to do it again. I just want to know what it’s like.”
He cupped her face and leaned his forehead against hers. “Oh, I think it’ll take a lot more than one night to show you everything. No regrets, okay?”
“I won’t regret it, but I think you’re chicken.” Carina tugged Dylan’s hand. “Let’s go to my room.”
~ ~ ~
Dylan made himself comfortable on Carina’s bed while she went to the bathroom to freshen up. He stared at the ceiling, his muscles tense. Why would she throw her virginity away tonight? If she’d kept herself pure through three years of college, it meant she was saving herself for someone special.
Carina returned after brushing her teeth. Grinning, she tossed a couple of condom packets on the bed.
He’d better tread carefully. She could have expectations, or feelings would creep in once he got between her legs. Then what would he do?
She untucked her blouse. “I took off my pantyhose already, but I thought you’d like to undress me.”
“Sure, I’d love to.” His voice broke like a teenager. When was the last time that had happened?
She crossed her legs and sat primly on the edge of the bed.
Could she be making this any more awkward? He positioned himself behind her, so that his legs were on either side of her hips.
“Unbutton yourself,” he commanded. He had to gauge how far she really wanted to go.
She unbuttoned her blouse, looking for all practical purposes like she was visiting a doctor’s office.
His breathing quickened as he slid the blouse off her silky shoulders. Her breasts looked so squeezable, although partially hidden under a white lace bra.
Would she really be okay if he touched her? Or would he be taking advantage of a newbie?
He kissed the side of her neck while his hands moved down her upper arms, lightly brushing her breasts.
Her breath hitched and her body tensed. Dang. She was frightened. Maybe he should kiss her first, melt her resistance.
Slowly, he tipped her head around and kissed one cheek, and then the other, brushing the corners of her lips.
“Uh, Dylan, remember the no-kissing rule?”
He froze, a sense of unreality fought with an urge to laugh hysterically. “You want me to seduce you without kissing?”
She nodded. “You don’t want a relationship, so we can’t kiss.”
“Wait. I can touch your boobs, stick my wiener in your bun, but I can’t kiss you?” His voice cracked above his natural baritone.
She seemed to consider his request. “I hadn’t thought about this complication. If I kiss you, I might get emotional. It’s a very intimate connection.”
Dylan was beginning to see why his little Carina was still a virgin. She had some odd notions about sex and relationships. A distraction was definitely called for.
“Why don’t you lie on your stomach and let me give you a backrub. It’s called foreplay.”
“Okay. You’re the expert.” She unzipped her skirt and wiggled herself out of it.
Dylan guided her into a prone position and unhooked her bra. Her back was smooth and creamy under the dim moonlight. How easy it would be to remove her panties and glide into her, take her from the back, so he wouldn’t have to look into her eyes. Like the way he took the other women who offered themselves, a cheap, anonymous thrill protected by a sheath of latex.
But Carina wasn’t a random woman. She was trusting, as if she counted on him to treat her with tender, exquisite care.
She deserved a man who would take the time to make her first time perfect. Candlelight, dancing, a spa bath, smooth jazz, and an emotional connection. Someone who adored her.
He rubbed the muscles over her shoulders and kneaded her upper back. Slowly, he worked his way down her spine, loosening the tension from her.
Her body relaxed and she sighed as he stroked her. She was so pretty, her eyes closed, her cheeks rosy. Now that her muscles had softened, he lightened his touch, tracing large circles across her back.
Her mouth slackened and her breathing came in small, steady puffs. She’d fallen asleep. Careful not to wake her, he drew a sheet over her and eased himself off her bed.
“Dylan, hold me,” she mumbled.
A fuzzy, twisting feeling tugged at his heart. Having sex was one thing, a satisfaction of the genitals, but sleeping together, cuddled up all night was so much more. Maybe she needed this to feel comfortable with him.
Reaching over to the nightstand, he flicked off her lamp and climbed into her bed. He pulled her to his side and tucked her into his arms, spooning her. She was a perfect fit. How could he ever let this exquisite creature go?
~ ~ ~
Carina woke with a pounding headache. She fumbled with her alarm clock and glanced at the time. Eight-twenty. Not too late for a Saturday morning. She was naked except for her panties, and she’d been dreaming about sex—always so close, never quite there.
Fragments of the previous night flashed through her cloudy mind. Had she asked Dylan to sleep with her? Had he?
She could almost feel his arms around her waist, his breath tickling the back of her neck and the rising and falling of his chest. She hadn’t dreamt it, had she?
Rolling in her sheets she found the spot where he’d lain. She rubbed herself as a coil of desire spiraled in her nether regions.
In her mind, her fingers retraced his abdomen, and she imagined herself stretching his waistband to uncover his thick cock, dark pink and engorged. She’d wrap her hands around it, stretching the skin up and down. Mayb
e she’d even get to lick the tip and taste him. Hadn’t she read enough romance novels to know how? Then what? Would he enjoy her touch or secretly think she wasn’t doing it right?
She encircled her lips with her tongue and moved her hands up and down her body, lingering on the places she wanted him to explore. She slipped her fingers in a v-shape between her folds, imagining Dylan holding her around her waist and rubbing his shaft between her legs. But how would it feel if he’d enter her, fill her, stretch her out?
Fact was she didn’t know and couldn’t even conjure the senses. She was moist and horny, but her fingers were no longer fulfilling, and she buried her face into her pillow, pounding the bed with unspent need.
Her cell phone buzzed on the night stand. Carina threw the pillow on the floor and answered the call. It was Rob, her boss, and he wanted her in the office.
~ ~ ~
While Carina was in the shower, Dylan prepared her daily latte. He’d woken up ahead of her to avoid the awkward “morning after.” Holding her in his arms all night was dangerous. He’d felt proud, possessive, and his heart wanted to burst from his chest. At first, he couldn’t sleep. It was such a strange, new feeling. He kept running his hands over her body.
Her breasts were perfect, and she moaned lightly when he fondled her. But he’d been afraid she’d wake and scream, so he stopped himself after a few light caresses. It was hard to calm down, but eventually, he must have drifted off, only to wake in the morning with a raging hard-on.
That was when he raced into the shower and finished himself off. How freaking embarrassing. But how could anyone blame him? He hadn’t had sex since a week before she moved in.
Carina appeared from the bathroom dressed in her business clothes. She avoided his gaze. “I have to go to work.”
“On a Saturday?” He poured her latte into a thermos. “Think you’ll be there all day?”
“Maybe. Thanks.”
He picked up her tote and handed it to her. “I have some time today. How about I ride into the City with you and take you to lunch?”
She smiled but didn’t raise her eyes to his. “You’re being very kind to me. I know I embarrassed myself last night.”
He grabbed his wallet and keys from the table. “If you forget about my weightlifting incident, I’ll forget everything else.”
“Oh, that! Forgotten. Ready?” Her smile was so cute, the kind that made a man want to wake to it every morning for the rest of his life.
Dylan picked up his guitar case and opened the door. “Think I’ll busk in front of the Ferry Building. Saturday’s always full of tourists and there’s a farmers’ market in the plaza.”
“Bust? I’ve never heard of that term.”
“Busk. B. U. S. K. It means playing and singing with an open guitar case. Some folks throw money in, but mostly you get a lot of smiles and hellos.”
“Oh …” Her mouth rounded and he got the distinct feeling she wasn’t impressed.
“When you get a lunch break, text me, and I’ll let you know what corner I’m working. Maybe I’ll pick up enough change to treat.”
That remark earned him a quick eye roll and a hair flip. “I’ll pay. After all, you’re always sharing your food and drink with me.”
They walked down the stairs of the apartment and passed the fitness center and pool.
“How come you don’t work out here instead?” Carina asked.
“I prefer free weights. Gives me greater range of motion.” He held the lobby door for her. “But we could come down here for a swim sometime.”
“Maybe.” She quickened her pace. “I really need to get there as fast as I can.”
Her mood seemed to change on a dime. Dylan touched her elbow. “Hey, if you don’t want me to hang around, just say so.”
“I can’t forget what almost happened last night.” Her voice was so small he barely heard her.
Dylan walked alongside her in silence. He’d been right not to give into temptation. They arrived at the BART station.
“You okay? Want me to come with you?” He moved aside to let her slip her ticket into the turnstile gate while he stepped through the adjacent one.
“Yes, we need to talk.”
“I agree.” He motioned her to an escalator and they descended to the platform where the trains were.
“It’s awkward.”
“Only if we keep dancing around it.”
“Around what?” She came to a stop on the platform just behind the yellow warning strip.
He brushed the side of her arm as he set his guitar case down and whispered, “We’re attracted to each other.”
She froze, staring down the tunnel where the train would come. A few moments later, the rolling sound of an approaching train rattled through the station.
They stepped on board, and Dylan wasn’t sure if he should sit next to her or stand aside, letting her go alone to her job. But when the door closed, she glanced over her shoulder at him and waved him to an empty row of seats. He placed his guitar in the space near the bulkhead and sat close to her, his arm touching hers and his leg resting against her knee.
She let out a short breath. “So what are we going to do?”
“Either we avoid each other, which isn’t going to be easy with us rooming together, or …”
“Or we get it over with?” Her knee was jittering, and she twisted her hands together.
He wished she would stop referring to it as an experience to get over, on par with wisdom teeth extraction.
Leaning over, he grabbed her hands to steady them. “Think it’ll be more fun to be natural and see what happens. How about no expectations and no fear?”
“Meaning?”
“We’re not going to ‘get it over with’ as you put it, because we’re going to take it slow and see where this leads.”
“Hmmm …. I like the sound of this.” She squeezed his hands and turned her shoulders toward him. “I feel safer knowing you’re going to hold back.”
He was right. She would have regretted it had he done what she’d asked the night before. “Glad you’re not disappointed. I was afraid I hurt your feelings.”
She slipped one hand around his waist and put her face on his shoulder. “You slept with me last night. Were you comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“So was I. But we need some rules or guidelines.”
He almost chuckled under his breath. Why was he not surprised? Carina was all about negotiation. Everything a business deal.
“How would that be natural? I say no more rules.”
“Strike the no-kissing rule?”
“Exactly.” He tilted her chin toward his face. “You have small, sweet, rosebud lips. I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the day we met.”
“But if you kiss me, would we be in a relationship?”
Smart girl. She’d have him trapped and twisted around her finger if he wasn’t careful.
“We’re already roommates and friends,” he said. “That’s a relationship, isn’t it?”
Her eyes were downcast. “I get it. Nothing permanent or committed. How about any one of us can back out of this at any time, sort of like at-will employment?”
“Sounds fair.”
“And the relationship ends at the end of the summer or when I move out, whichever comes first.” She tapped his knuckles with the tip of her middle finger.
“Uh hmm, makes sense.” He was in a fog of hormones, anticipating the kiss so much he’d agree to sign away his firstborn if she’d get on with it.
“And there’s no emotional commitment, meaning we’re not boyfriend-girlfriend and not dating or in love or anything.” The way she said “in love” made it seem as if she disdained such feelings.
“Anything else?” he asked.
“Nonexclusive. We can date other people.”
“Sure.” It was sensible and logical, but a part of him was disappointed. He’d thought women would value exclusivity more than guys.
“It goes without sa
ying,” she continued. “Either one of us can stop the other if it gets uncomfortable.”
“Like in the middle of penetration?” Dylan poked her side with his index finger.
“You nasty boy, of course I expect you to stay in control at all times. Let me write all this down.”
She ripped a piece of paper from her organizer and wrote ‘Bed Buddy Contract’ across the top, then listed the rules she’d gone over.
“Sign.” She handed him a pen.
Dylan scrawled his signature to humor her. She was such a stickler for rules she missed out on fun and spontaneity. But since she had struck the no-kissing rule …
As the train droned underneath the San Francisco Bay, Dylan swept Carina into his lap.
“Now that we got that over with, I want to concentrate on how beautiful you are.” Staring intently into her shiny black eyes, he moved her silky hair back over her ear. “I’ve never seen such flawless skin, so smooth.”
“You’re a flatterer.” Her eyes partially closed, she leaned toward his hand. “You know we’re in a public place?”
“Under the Bay in the tunnel in an almost empty car.” He gently moved his finger down her cheek while tickling the corner of her rosy lips with his thumb.
Her shallow breathing quickened and she got that dewy-eyed look, as if her heartbeat raced and she expected him to make a move.
He tipped her chin to the side and kissed her cheek, noting how she tried to angle her mouth toward his. Lingering slightly on the kiss, he touched the side of his nose to hers and barely brushed his lips over hers to kiss her other cheek.
Carina sighed, her breath fluttering over his face, as the train droned through the tunnel. He kissed her again, this time closer to the corner of her lips, and when she moved toward him, he grazed her soft lips. She hummed into his mouth and kissed him back, shockingly sweet and soft.
Excitement built in his chest and lower regions, but he resisted the urge to take it too fast. Alternately nibbling and pecking, he trailed kisses from her lips to her cheek and around the shell of her delicate ear, while his hand lightly brushed the side of her breast. His fingers lingered below her breast and stroked her slender waist before he moved his lips back to hers.
She gasped and opened her mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue in. Not wanting to plunge, he made tiny lapping movements, tickling the tip of her tongue the way he’d someday tickle the pleasure nub between her lips lower down. He’d be the first one there too. In fact, he’d mark her with first times at every point of her body.
Whole Latte Love (The Jewells) Page 14