by Brenda Mott
After Doc Baker’s initial examination two days ago, things had seemed a little shaky. The four-year-old horse wasn’t in bad health, other than needing a good worming and an update on vaccinations, but he’d been abused to the point where he was jumpy around any sudden movement. Macy was allowed to handle him only under Wade’s careful supervision. But she didn’t seem to mind.
Now, as Wade saw Macy’s excitement when as she ran toward Tess, his doubts began to fade. Maybe Diego would be as good for her as she already appeared to be for him.
Tess parked, got out of the truck and walked toward the round pen, her arm draped across Macy’s shoulders. The two of them made a picture that left a fluttery feeling in the pit of Wade’s stomach—something he hadn’t felt in so long it seemed foreign. He tried not to think about the way he’d nearly given in to the impulse to kiss Tess two days ago. He still fantasized about that imagined kiss, and could practically taste it at times when he lay in bed at night alone.
Wade licked his lips and forced himself not to dwell on things better left unexplored.
Tess lifted her free hand in greeting as she and Macy drew closer.
“Hi, Tess.” Jason grinned at her like a lovesick calf.
“Hi there, Jason. Wade.” She ducked through the fence rails, then nodded toward Diego. “So, how’s he doing?”
“Not bad overall. I think he just needs a lot of time and patience.”
“He’s already starting to like Macy,” Jason offered, earning a frown from his sister for spoiling her surprise.
“Watch, Tess,” she said. Slowly, so as not to startle Diego, she retrieved a bucket of sweet feed from where she’d left it near the fence and approached the gelding. “Hey, baby, baby,” she crooned. “It’s okay. You want a treat? Huh? Do you?”
Seconds before, Diego had stood warily on the end of the lead rope, muscles tense; clearly, he was ready to bolt at the slightest indication that Wade posed a threat. But for some reason, the horse trusted Macy. With a soft whicker, he took a cautious step her way, then another, ears still flicking, eyes focused on the bucket of grain.
He stretched his neck toward her, and Macy crooned some more. “Attaboy. Come on. There you go.” Shedding the last of his resistance, Diego stepped closer and thrust his nose into the bucket to snatch a greedy bite of sweet feed.
Tess laughed. “I see it didn’t take long for you to charm him.”
“Told you,” Jason said. He shook his head. “She’s gonna have him as spoiled as Amber.”
Ignoring him, Macy grinned at Tess. “I think we’ve bonded.” She reached out and entwined her fingers in the gelding’s cream-colored forelock, stroking the flaxen strands.
Tess’s smile widened. “I’d say so.” She moved up quietly beside the horse but made no immediate effort to touch him. Not until she’d spoken to him in a soothing voice that had the fine hairs on Wade’s arms standing straight up.
“Sweet boy,” she soothed. “Can I pet you? Uh-huh?”
Wade cleared his throat. “He—uh—he might let you.” And so would I, if you asked nice. Shaking off the ridiculous thought, he offered her the lead rope. “He tolerates me some, though not the way he does Macy.”
Tess took hold of the rope and passed it to Macy. “Then she ought to be the one to hold him, don’t you agree?”
The gooey, lustful thoughts Wade had entertained immediately shifted to familiar irritation. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I trust him with her yet. He got quite a beating from Clem, and I doubt it was the first time. I don’t want to take a chance on her getting hurt.”
“And neither do I.” Tess stared back at him, her eyes full of mischief. “We’re right here.”
Wade sighed inwardly, looking from her to Macy. “Fine.” He pointed a cautionary finger. “But be careful.”
“I will.” Macy gripped the rope with confidence and crooned to the chestnut. “You won’t hurt me, will you, boy?” The lead in one hand, she kept hold of the bucket with the other, balancing it on one knee while Diego continued to munch. The chestnut closed his eyes in bliss, easing Wade’s concern somewhat.
“Guess I’ll go do some chores,” Jason said, as though he’d had enough of Tess and Macy’s girly horse talk.
Wade knew he ought to do the same but felt compelled to stick around, instead. And if he was totally honest with himself, he’d have to admit his motives weren’t entirely driven by his concern for Macy’s safety. Dang it, ever since the other night, he’d found himself thinking about Tess more than he ought to. He needed to stop it. He knew better. He had his reasons for staying single and he had to stick to them.
As Jason clambered through the fence rails and headed for the barn, Wade groped for a change of subject. “So, how’s everything at the feed store? Is your dad ready for some more bridles?” It had been almost a month since Lloyd Vega had taken some of Wade’s leatherwork on consignment.
Tess nodded. “As a matter of fact, that’s one of the reason’s I came over. Dad said he could use another half dozen if you’ve got them. They’re selling really well.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out a check. “He sent this over for you.”
Satisfaction filled Wade as he glanced at the amount of the check before putting it in his wallet, as he grinned. “Thanks, Tess. I wasn’t sure how they’d do.”
“Well, worry no more. I’d say Cowboy Up is off and running.” She eyed him in a way that made his pulse pick up speed once more. “I checked out your Web site yesterday. It looks good.”
Warmth spread through him, though he felt like a fool. Her words shouldn’t please him so much, but they did. “Thanks,” he said again.
“I’d say you’ve got reason to celebrate,” Tess added. “Are you and the kids up for a little party?”
“Maybe. You got one planned?”
“My family does.” She gave a little shrug. “Tuesday’s my birthday. Dad’s throwing a shindig tonight at the ranch. I thought you and the kids might want to come. We can toast your leather business while we’re at it, and you can bring some more bridles for the store if they’re ready. Some belts, too.”
He nodded. “I’ve got some.”
A birthday party. Wade could hardly keep himself from asking which one. He still thought Tess looked young. Then he recalled the expression he’d seen in her eyes when she’d told him the other day about her mother’s illness. Mom developed a rare form of the disease when I was a teenager. Her words suggested she’d experienced things beyond her years. Coping with Raelene’s condition must have been hard on the entire family. Sad.
But then, life was full of sad and unfair things. Like two kids losing their mother.
The thought was enough to continue to remind him that he’d vowed to focus on raising his children alone. Deidra had been a good mother; his partner in life. They hadn’t shared the kind of red-hot, passionate love depicted in the chick flicks she always managed to talk him into watching, but they had had a tender, caring partnership. He’d been happy with her, and it had taken him a long time to pick up the pieces of his shattered life and find a way to carry on alone. And now that Deidra was gone, he couldn’t see anyone taking her place. Plus, he’d managed so far to plug along on his own. He didn’t need anyone’s help now, and he certainly shouldn’t be letting Tess put his hormones in an uproar. He’d be better off keeping his distance.
But before he could come up with an excuse to give her the bridles and belts now and decline her invitation, Macy spoke.
“A party with cake and everything?”
“You bet,” Tess said, giving one of Macy’s braids a tug. “Think you can handle helping me whip up a batch of homemade ice cream? Since we didn’t get to go for those banana splits the other night.”
“You better know it.” Macy turned eagerly toward him, still holding on to her beloved gelding. “Dad? Can we?”
“We’d love to have you,” Tess said. “My dad is quite a cook, believe it or not. That’s one thing he did help me out with after…” She hes
itated as though she’d said more than she’d intended, then finished her thought. “After Mom got sick.”
“What’s wrong with your mom?” Macy asked.
Tess folded her arms and ran her palms up and down them. “I’ll tell you another time, honey. Tonight let’s focus on happy things, shall we?”
Macy nodded. “Okay.” She looked at him once more. “Dad?”
Wade sighed. He could hardly turn down the invitation now. Telling himself he wasn’t making up excuses to spend more time with Tess, he nodded. “Why not. When do you want us?”
“Seven o’clock. Dad’s barbecuing.”
“Is that right? What are you having—roasted zucchini?”
“How’d you guess?” She shot him a wink over her shoulder as she turned to face Macy. “Let me show you a little grooming trick Diego will love. You’ll have him following you around in no time, just begging for attention.” Again she glanced back at Wade. And gave him a wicked smile.
His heart thumped.
He wouldn’t mind doing a little begging of his own. No matter what his better judgment dictated.
“I think I’ll go help Jason with his chores,” he said gruffly. He stalked away, ignoring the sound of Tess’s laughter, which seemed to float behind him on the spring breeze.
Laughter that had him second-guessing his decision to avoid having a woman in his life.
“HEY, CINDERELLA, you look good.”
Tess glanced up at the sound of her father’s voice. He’d come through the back door and now stood in the kitchen, a stainless-steel bucket of milk in hand. In addition to the herd of four hundred–odd head of Suffolk sheep he raised, he kept a half-dozen Guernsey and Jersey cows, which he milked by hand.
Tess smiled at him. At fifty-four, her father still seemed as handsome as he did in the wedding photo she held in her hand. After setting the framed picture on the armoire that rested against the dining-area wall, Tess moved toward the kitchen. “I thought I’d better clean up a little bit, since you’re throwing me a party and everything.” She slipped her arms around his middle and gave him a hug. Lloyd towered over her, a big bear of a man who had always made her feel safe.
He placed the bucket of milk on the counter. “Careful there, hon, you’ll get all dirty. I need to shower off this barn grit and get ready myself.” He removed his cowboy hat, exposing a head of hair that remained thick, though more gray now than red, and hung the hat on a peg near the door. Then he reached for the bar of grainy soap on the sink and scrubbed his hands.
Wistfully, Tess watched him, remembering all the times she’d done so as a child. Something about the olive-green soap gave her a warm, comforting feeling. She’d forever associate its clean, no-nonsense scent with her father and his hardworking hands. And with times when her mother was still well.
“Something bothering you, sweet pea?” Lloyd asked, snapping Tess from her daydreams.
Tess sighed. “I was remembering the days before Mom got sick.” She chewed her bottom lip, knowing she was ruining her lipstick, not caring. “I miss her so much, Dad. I just wish she could be here tonight, that’s all.”
Lloyd rinsed his hands and reached for the dish towel. “I know, honey. I wish she could, too.” Then he frowned. “Did you realize Zach hasn’t been going to see her much lately?”
Tess’s frown deepened. “No, I didn’t. Since when?” She and her brothers rarely got the chance to visit Raelene together; still, she’d thought they always made time for their mom on whatever days of the week they had free.
“Since around the anniversary date of your mom’s hospitalization.”
Her dad always called it that. Hospitalization. The big, strong man with the cream-puff heart couldn’t bear to acknowledge the place his beloved wife resided in as a nursing home or even a care facility.
Tess didn’t have to think twice to recall the date they’d been forced to turn Raelene’s care over to the nurses. March 20, the first day of spring, and she remembered well how sad it had been to put her mom in such a place when spring was breaking open the cold fist of winter and daffodils were poking up through the last of the snow to greet tender shoots of grass. New beginnings for the world…an end of a way of life for her mother.
“Nearly two months?” Tess spoke the words in shock. “Why?”
Lloyd lifted a shoulder, his expression worn. “I’m not sure. I guess he’s just tired of seeing her in the shape she’s in. And getting married probably has a lot to do with it.”
Zachary had recently eloped with a woman he’d met at a horse sale three months ago. Donna had a daughter, Becky, who was ten, and Zach had seemed to adjust well to his ready-made family. So what was the problem?
“What do you mean?” Anger filled Tess. “Are you saying Donna is keeping him from Mom?”
“No, no.” Lloyd waved the thought away. “Donna’s a better person than that. All I’m saying is, having his own family now has made your brother see some real good in life. I think he’s doing the ostrich routine. If he doesn’t notice any sadness, then it isn’t there.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Tess frowned. “Not to mention totally unfair. Are you sure that’s the reason?” But deep down, she knew her dad was likely right. Of the three of them—Tess and her two brothers— Zach had been the one who’d had the hardest time accepting Rae’s illness early on. Still, he’d always gone to visit her.
“No, honey, I’m not positive. I’m just guessing. I know folks handle things in different ways, but I’ve got to tell you, I’m deeply disappointed in your brother, and I mean to have a long heart-to-heart with him when we’re alone. But today’s not the day to talk about that.” He gave her a one-armed hug and a smile. “We’ve got some celebrating to do. My baby girl’s turning twenty-seven. Practically over the hill.” He let out a boisterous laugh and Tess poked him in the ribs.
“Over the hill! Speak for yourself, you geezer.” She laughed. “You’d better get dressed. We’ve got plenty of company coming, and you’re in charge of the grill.”
Lloyd flapped his arms comically, as though preparing to bolt. “Ooo-ee, doggies, I’d better get right on it then. I’ve got some special veggie shish kebabs marinating in the fridge for my birthday girl. All your favorites on ’em, kid. They’re about four feet long.” He held out his hands to demonstrate.
Tess laughed. “Go on, then. I’ll watch out for the guests.”
Lloyd hurried up the stairs that led to the enormous bedroom he’d once shared with Raelene, and Tess walked over to the armoire once more and looked down at the framed photographs covering its surface. Next to her parents’ wedding photo was one of her dad as a young man, and another of Raelene, holding hands with Tess and her brothers. Tess stood to her right, with Seth beside Tess. And on Rae’s left was Zachary, grinning a missing-tooth smile at the camera. His red hair stood up on end, damp with the lake water where he’d been wading. Her dad had taken the photo on the first camping trip they’d gone on as a family, the summer Tess was six.
Happy, carefree times.
She longed for them still.
Both furious with her brother and disappointed in him, Tess made her way to the living room. She hoped he came to the house soon.
She had a thing or two to say to him, party or not.
CHAPTER SIX
“DAD.” Macy poked her head around the corner of the open bedroom door.
Wade still stood in front of the closet, where he’d been for the past five minutes, trying to decide which shirt to wear—something he normally never thought much about. What in thunder had gotten into him? He reached for one, slipped it from the hanger and slid his arms into the sleeves. Black was always good.
“Yeah, honey, whatcha need?”
She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, which struck him as odd. “I don’t want Jason to hear,” she explained, apparently noting the perplexed look on his face. “I have to talk to you about something. Something…well…kind of womanly.”
A lead Fri
sbee landed in his stomach, then flew to his throat. Surely not…surely she was too young to start. He groped for total recall of the pamphlet he’d quietly snagged from the doctor’s office one day not too long ago. On the subject of telling his little girl all about the process of becoming a woman and the bodily changes she’d face. What age had the pamphlet stated? Was eleven too young? Macy’s birthday was next month.
Wade closed his mouth. “Uh. Okay.” Swallowing, he cleared a space on the bed among the shirts he’d tossed there minutes ago.
Macy sat down and looked at him with her big blue eyes. Oh, God. Deidra, what do I do? He shot a quick prayer heavenward that he might not botch this. Not too badly, anyway.
“Daddy, some of the other girls at school, well, they’re starting to—”
Oh, Lord, he couldn’t do this! Calling himself a coward, a rotten dad and a dirty rat fink to boot, Wade hastily interrupted his daughter. “Honey, hang on a second.” He chewed the inside of his cheek. “I know what you’re about to tell me.”
“You do?” Macy frowned.
“Yes. And, um…well, I’m thinking maybe it would be better if…well, if I’m not the one you ask about this.”
Macy looked confused. “Why not, Dad? You’ve always said Jason and me can talk to you about anything.”
“Jason and I,” he corrected, grasping, stalling. “And I know, honey, but…” What in thunder was he doing? This was his little girl, for crying out loud. He couldn’t let her down. He was all she had. She had no mother, no woman in her life to…
Tess. Her name came to mind so naturally, it scared him. Maybe he ought to have Macy talk to Bailey, instead. But then, she was busy with the twins. Oh, Lordy.