‘Torture?’ Flannery quavered. ‘But she’s a woman. Isn’t it more normal for men to torture women? Not the other way around?’
‘Speak for yourself!’ said Mrs Flannery.
‘The women are worse than the men,’ Soulos whispered. ‘I’ve seen Forbes use electrodes in ways I wouldn’t want to describe in front of an innocent young lad.’
‘That’s okay,’ said Cyril, ‘I’m not so innocent, I tortured a dog once.’
‘Shut up, Cyril!’ Mrs Flannery said. ‘This gentleman’s from the government, he doesn’t want to know what happened to Old Dusty.’
Cyril was not to be shut up. ‘If you torture Dad can I watch?’
‘I said shut up!’ Mrs Flannery turned to Soulos with a kind of oily smile. ‘Whatever this is, it’s Harrison’s fault.’ She looked at Mr Flannery, who seemed to be getting pinker. ‘If Harrison’s black-mailing you into anything that this gentleman and the lady want to investigate, you tell them about it!’
‘That’s good advice, Mr Flannery,’ Soulos said. ‘The quicker you make a full confession the better.’
‘My wife’s right. Whatever it is, it’s Harrison’s fault,’ said Flannery. ‘What is it you want me to confess?’
‘I’d say that’s for you to judge,’ said Soulos, easing his shoulder holster into a more comfortable position.
‘Are you allowed to shoot Dad with that?’ said Cyril.
‘Well, yes I am, son,’ Soulos said. ‘Great kid you’ve got here,’ he added to Mrs Flannery with a wink.
Mrs Flannery seemed to enjoy being winked at, because she batted her eyelids in response.
‘How big an exit wound would a bullet like that make?’ Cyril inquired.
‘Oh, pretty big,’ Soulos said, using both hands to indicate a hole about the size of a dinner plate.
‘Wow! That big!’ Cyril’s eyes were wide with awe.
‘We’re allowed to use hollow point ammunition,’ Soulos told him with quiet pride. ‘Real man-stoppers.’
‘I’ll confess anything you want me to,’ said Flannery numbly. ‘You write it, I’ll sign it.’
‘That wouldn’t be fair, Mr Flannery,’ said Soulos. ‘You have to write it.’
Flannery seemed to be about to burst into tears, but at this point Forbes re-entered the room. She had not been taking a breath of fresh air, she had been searching the rest of the house.
In her hand she had a poster depicting a scaled, fanged, taloned monster from outer space dribbling steaming green slime as it devoured a voluptuous half-naked Earth maiden. ‘I found this piece of alien propaganda in the boy’s room,’ she said with disgust. ‘This place is a hotbed of subversion!’
chapter thirty-six
While the Mr Flannery was having the worst day of his life, Sally had been explaining to her parents and Aunt Kate just what was going on out there in the rest of the galaxy, and just how she, Sally, fitted into the picture, and just who Mrs Webster was.
Jim did not believe a word of it. Maria, to her growing horror, did believe it. Kate, being a lawyer, was reserving judgement.
Sally had finished her tale and was sitting on the settee with her mother, trying to comfort her. ‘Mum? You’ll always be my Mum. I’d be leaving in six years or so anyway.’ She paused, holding her weeping mother. ‘Jenny had to go to her dad when they changed the custody provisions. Barbie went to boarding school when her dad got the job in Hong Kong. This is just … a bit further away, uh?’
Jim sat on his heels in front of them. ‘Sally, you had a pretty bad accident yesterday. You probably got a knock on the head. You may have concussion.’
‘Dad, this is really happening.’
‘The thing I’m saying, Sally, is that when we’re kids, we can believe things and, well, sometimes those things aren’t true.’
Maria looked at him. ‘She means it, Jim. I think she’s telling the truth.’
‘Maria, I know she’s not lying. I know she believes what she’s saying, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. I admit it’s very convincing, but some things just don’t happen, right?’
It was at this moment that they heard a crashing sound. The Harrisons would discover later that it was the sound of an Ursoid smashing down their back door in order to get out of their house—Ursoids having a rather direct method of dealing with things like doors.
Then there was another smashing noise. This, they would discover later, was the Ursoids walking through the fence between the Harrison backyard and Mrs Webster’s—Ursoids not being ones to bother much with gates.
Then there was a mad beeping from the dish-washer. Mrs Webster picked up her walking cane and moved to the kitchen saying, ‘They’re in the backyard.’ The others followed her.
There, looking in through the kitchen window, slightly distorted by the shimmer of the force field surrounding Mrs Webster’s house, were the two little old ladies in black.
Jim looked at them and laughed. ‘Those are your Ursoids? These are the alien invaders, right?’
Mrs Webster handed them all goggles. ‘Get ’em on! Quick!’
Jim chuckled and put his on. ‘Sure, Mrs Webster,’ he said, humouring her. ‘Let’s all get our goggles on, kids, before the old ladies from outer space get us!’ His laughter died on his lips, because scarcely had he donned the goggles when in the ensuing darkness he saw fiery shapes emerge, two figures of bear-like warriors dressed in spiked armour and wielding swords of flame.
They must have been three metres tall, wide as phone booths, spiked, fanged, and savage. They moved forward in a lumbering gait, and then hacked with their energy swords at the force field surrounding the house.
‘On second thoughts,’ Jim said, ‘some things do happen. Sally? My humblest apologies. Mrs Webster? What do we do?’
For a moment, Mrs Webster did not reply. She was watching the Ursoid warriors at their work. At each blow of the energy swords, the house rocked, like a submarine being attacked with depth charges. Mrs Webster was riding the movement like an expert sailor, but the Harrisons and Kate had to hold each other so as not to fall over.
Mrs Webster made her decision. ‘I’ve got to go out and stop them. The force field’ll take this battering, but the house could come down like a stack of cards inside the field itself.’
‘But how can you go through the force field?’ asked Sally. ‘If it keeps them out, it must keep us in.’
‘Never stops asking question,’ Mrs Webster said with a grim smile. ‘I’m going to open a temporary window.’ She was already moving to the stove. Sally, her curiosity aroused, turned her back to the kitchen windows, and lifted her goggles so she could see what Mrs Webster was doing.
She was at the stove adjusting the timer. When she turned back, she saw that Sally had been watching, and yelled, ‘Put your goggles back on!’
Sally obeyed and Mrs Webster went to the back door. The stove timer rang and for one split second the force field disappeared in the area of the door. Mrs Webster went through, and then the witnesses gasped as Mrs Webster resumed her true form as Marine Master Sergeant of the Galactic Fleet.
She became a shimmering figure, a creature composed of raw energy, three metres tall and a metre broad, armoured, helmeted, the walking cane transformed into an energy sword. With a terrible shout she fell upon the two Ursoids, hewing at them with her sword, driving them back away from the house!
The uneven battle raged back and forth across Mrs Webster’s backyard. The combatants spun and whirled, their energy swords crashed against each other, the Ursoids lumbered in pursuit of Mrs Webster who danced away, light on her fiery feet, sometimes seeming to toy with her two massive opponents, sometimes retreating, sometimes attacking.
Despite Mrs Webster’s clear superiority in skill and speed, it was two to one. The odds were against her. She could delay the Ursoids, but not defeat them. Sooner or later, numbers were going to decide the uneven battle.
Inside the kitchen, they all knew it. Bobby, watching the battle, turned in the dire
ction he thought Sally was. ‘She’s gone out there to die for us, Sall! We’ve got to save her! Can’t you think of something?’
Sally was staring out the back window with her goggles on, watching as Mrs Webster was driven back toward the house in a renewed onslaught by the Ursoids. The three fiery figures slashed and hewed, and then Sally said, ‘Energy! They’re made of pure energy!’
‘Like electricity?’ said Bobby.
Sally was excited. She was onto an idea. ‘Before they came up the path to our house, remember? They burned the hose to stop the sprinkler working. They were so careful to walk around the puddles on the wet path. And Mrs Webster! She’s always so careful with water! They’re made of something like electricity. They’re afraid water will short-circuit them!’
‘Got it!’ yelled Bobby. ‘How do we get out there?’
‘Mrs Webster did it with the oven timer. She just moved it a fraction.’ She turned her back on the windows, lifted her goggles and moved to the stove. She prepared to set the oven timer the way she had seen Mrs Webster do it. Her hand was on the timer. ‘Okay, everyone, we’re relying on your speed. Here’s what we have to do.’
Outside, as if she somehow knew that help was on the way, Mrs Webster suddenly renewed her attack, driving the Ursoids back from the house as, for a split second, a window opened in the force field, and five goggled figures ran from the house. The force field closed behind them. They split up, scurrying for positions around the yard.
The Ursoids saw them, and paused in their attack, looking for Sally.
There she was! Standing by the back wall of the house, laughing at them, jeering, making hand gestures that are rude in any part of the galaxy. The Ursoids fixed their terrible fiery faces on Sally, and then rushed Mrs Webster, trying to get past her to destroy the Galactic Princess who had been hidden from their fury for twelve Earth years.
The force of their attack drove Mrs Webster to her knees, and she yelled in her deep warrior’s voice, ‘Sally, get out of here! Don’t make me die for nothing!’
Then as the Ursoids moved toward her, Sally stepped aside to reveal Bobby holding a garden hose. Sally grabbed for the tap and turned it on!
The stream of water, full pressure, hit the Ursoids. It struck like a lightning bolt. They sizzled, they leapt in pain, their screams were like the bellows of angry bulls.
Suddenly they were hit by another stream of water, this one coming from another corner of the yard. Maria and Jim, standing together, holding a hose, sprayed the Ursoids, herding them away from Mrs Webster.
Then another hose, this time in Kate’s hands!
Strange swirling twisted patterns had appeared in the fiery shapes of the Ursoids. It was as if the energy discharges caused by the water were literally tying their insides into knots.
Then suddenly, it was defeat for them, victory for Mrs Webster and the Harrisons. The Ursoids had had enough. Swiftly they resumed their human disguises, and ran howling up the driveway into Middle Street.
The Galactic Marine Master Sergeant who was Mrs Webster got to her feet and stood leaning on her sword, exhausted by the fight. Sally and Maria and Kate turned off their hoses. Through their goggles they saw the fiery form of the Marine Sergeant disappear, and then heard Mrs Webster’s voice say, ‘You can take off the goggles.’ When they took them off, there was an old lady in a floral dress leaning on her walking cane. The old lady winked at Sally. ‘The Princess sure kicked alien butt today.’ Then, to everyone, ‘Thank you.’
chapter thirty-seven
A little while later in the Harrison house, Jim was seated on the settee comforting Maria, looking as though he could do with a lot of comforting himself. Kate sat apart, her expression a mixture of shock and incredulity. Things like this were not supposed to happen in a lawyer’s tidy existence.
Bobby and Mrs Webster sat by as Sally talked to her parents. ‘Now you know it’s all true. We’ve scared this pair into running away. But they were just the forward scouts. More’ll be on the way, and next time we probably won’t be able to stop them. While I’m still here, they’ll be back. With others.’
Jim and Maria just looked at her, broken-hearted.
‘Mum, Dad, all the stories Mrs Webster told us. She’s been getting me ready for when I grow up.’
‘You’re not grown up!’ Maria protested. ‘You’re my baby girl!’
Bobby was outraged. If Sally was a baby girl, that made him a baby boy, and there were some things he could not live with. ‘Come off it, Mum, it’s not like she’s ten or something, she’s twelve years old!’ The phone rang. Bobby was nearest so he picked up the receiver. ‘Harrison residence, Robert Harrison speaking,’ he said in his best phone voice, proving he was not a baby.
It was Mr Flannery, sitting in his living room, surrounded by reporters to whom Mrs Flannery was serving coffee and cake while she batted her eyelashes at them, or, at least, the males among them. The female reporters were lucky to get a cup of coffee. ‘Oh really?’ said Flannery. ‘Well you tell that father of yours, Robert Harrison, that the Feds or the Secret Service or whoever they are have just finished wrecking my life and he’s fired! You hear me? Fired!’
Bobby was not taking that from anyone. ‘You can’t fire my dad, Mr Flannery! He quits. He just fought two bullies twice your size. He doesn’t have to work for a bully like you!’
Jim had moved in as soon as he heard the name ‘Flannery’. He took the phone. ‘And that goes double for me, Flannery!’ And then he slammed down the receiver, and smiled. Then he looked at his daughter and lost his smile.
Sally moved to him and held him. ‘It won’t be forever, Dad,’ she said. ‘I’ll visit. If I’m going to be Princess of the Galaxy or something, I’ll make them let me visit.’ She looked at her parents and brother and aunt, and felt stricken for herself and for them, but she knew what she had to do. ‘If I don’t leave, they’ll destroy this planet. And all of you. My mother, my father, my brother, you’ll go with it. And all the other things, the dogs and cats and whales and horses and … and everything. Everything will die. No human being’ll ever … I don’t know, look at the sky, or wish on a star or … clean their teeth, or smell a rose again. You teach us about endangered species … about a moth or a bird or an animal dying out, but this is a whole planet! You have to let me go. Please don’t make me responsible for a whole planet dying!’
There was a long silence, and then Maria did what Maria always did. She pulled herself together and got on with the important things of life. ‘Seems to me, young lady, that you’ve somehow missed out on your birthday party.’
Sally beamed. ‘Oh can we?’ She knew this was the last of childhood. She looked at Mrs Webster. ‘Do we have time? Before the starship comes?’
‘It’ll have to be at my place. The force field.’
‘No,’ said Sally resolutely. ‘Here. In my home. If the main party of Ursoids gets here first, the force field’s not going to save us. Right?’
Mrs Webster nodded. If the main party of Ursoids got there first then nothing would save them.
‘Okay then,’ Sally said.
And so happened the strangest birthday party Sally had ever had (though she would have many others in future years much stranger). It was just her and Bobby, Maria, Jim and Kate and of course Mrs Webster.
They had garden hoses snaking in through the windows in case they had to make a last stand against the Ursoids here in the house.
The birthday cake with the twelve candles stood on the dining table. Maria and Jim, as always, lit the candles together. Sally and Bobby, as always, bent in together and, on the count of three, blew them out.
‘Make your wish,’ said Jim.
Bobby and Sally closed their eyes. Sally found herself wishing that she did not have to leave her family behind. Bobby found himself wishing that he could ride on a starship and one day become the captain of one.
Then Bobby and Sally picked up the big carving knife, one hand each on the hilt, and cut the cake.
M
aria then cut the cake into slices, they each took a piece and waited, then ate together, all at the same time. It was suddenly a very real, very special ritual meal.
There was sharing, and caring, and quiet laughter, and memories, and silence.
At one point Jim looked at Mrs Webster and said, ‘I should’ve known when you arrived. The sky was weird that day too. The whole thing was weird.’
‘I’m not your enemy,’ said Mrs Webster. ‘I was always here to guard.’ Suddenly there was a beeping sound from her hearing aid. She looked at Sally. ‘The starship. It’s getting very close.’
From outside, there was a distant rumbling. Maria was weeping, and holding Sally. ‘I can’t let you go! I can’t!’
‘Mum, I’ve got to. I can’t stay. Mum, don’t make it hard for me. I don’t have a choice.’
‘We don’t want to lose you.’ Jim’s words were simple—from the heart.
Sally looked at them and she knew she did not want to lose them either. ‘You don’t have to. You lost Mr Flannery. Now if you will just lose all this. The house, the car, the mortgage …’
They were looking at her, trying to understand.
‘Just because I have to go, doesn’t mean you have to stay,’ she said.
But it was clear to Sally from their expressions that this idea was too big to handle.
Night had fallen. There was a thrumming in the air, a growing, reverberating roar. The darkness was being dissipated by light from above. Mrs Webster led Sally, Bobby, Jim, Maria and Kate out of the house. Bobby, Jim, Maria and Kate had their steel goggles hanging around their necks.
‘I’ll visit!’ Sally said.
‘Oh, my darling!’ Maria said through her tears, and held tight to Jim’s hand.
‘We’ll miss you!’ Jim said.
‘Give those Ursoids hell, Sally!’ Bobby held out his precious Swiss Army knife to her. ‘Take this. You might need a spare. They’ll be hard to get where you’re going.’
Sally took it, and kissed him, and for once he did not object. Then for a moment, Sally and Bobby and Jim and Maria were wrapped in an embrace. As they separated the backyard was bathed with light which focused into a central spot. The sound was incredible.
The Distant Home Page 14