Mending Defects

by Lynn Galli

  “God, Glory, that feels good.”

  “Your breasts are so sexy.” I managed before her mouth came in for more.

  My fingers rolled her nipples then traced the undersides of her breasts. She groaned into my mouth. I smiled and nipped her bottom lip. She was going to be so fun to make love with. My hands skated down her sides, taking her panties off. Her legs kicked them free. I wrenched my mouth away to look down the length of her. Lean with identifiable tone, her love of outdoor activities showed in every movement on her legs and abdomen. Dark, trimmed curls covered her core and summoned my touch.

  She drew her tongue up my neck, kissing me quickly before sitting up to straddle me. Her hands smoothed over my cami down past my hips, reaching all the way to my knees. It was like she had to touch every part of me before it would be real.

  “You’re so beautiful, Glory.”

  “So are you, Lena.”

  I reached up and pulled on her hips. She dragged across my pubic bone, both of us moaning at the sensation. She lifted up onto her knees. My hands reached out to bring her back. She laughed and swatted them away as she busied herself with pulling off my underwear.

  “You just get better and better,” she whispered.

  Her hips straddled me, taking her time to settle onto me. When we connected, I seized up, fighting off the urge to climax. That had never happened so fast before. Just one touch from her and I’m nearly coming.

  She leaned down and kissed my mouth once, trailing down my neck as her hands went to the hem of my cami. It was halfway up my chest before I realized what was happening. My hands shot out to stop hers, redirecting them to where I wanted them most. She resisted until her fingers landed on my wetness. She let out a low curse at how excited I was.

  My hands returned to her breasts, fingers sliding alongside each nipple before pulling slightly then pinching. She moaned with every tug, hinting at how sensitive she was.

  The hand cupping me came back to reach under my camisole. To distract her, I flipped her over onto her back. My mouth went on the attack, trailing down her neck and chest before sucking a nipple in. My tongue lashed out, flicking up over and over. Her back arched toward me, hands gripping my head.

  “Glory, please,” she moaned, her hands coming back to the only remaining barrier.

  I pulled her hands away and pinned them beside her head. My mouth didn’t let up on her sensitive nipple. Her hands pushed against mine, but my position kept them in place.

  “I want to see you,” Lena said.

  “You are,” I responded, moving toward the other breast.

  Her wrists broke my grasp. They slid down my sides, coming back to the hem of my undershirt.

  “No,” I told her, trying desperately to distract her with my mouth.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “This is good like this.” I leaned down and covered her completely, settling a leg between hers and barely moving to show her how good tonight would get.

  “Glory,” she said in a remarkably lust-free voice.

  I looked up from where I’d placed my thigh and saw that her eyes had lost their sexual craze. “Let me touch you.”

  “Take your clothes off.”

  “They’re off.” I slid against her thigh and groaned.

  Her eyes rolled back, but the distraction didn’t last long. “Your shirt, Glory. I won’t be the only vulnerable one here.”

  “You’re not.”

  “I don’t do one-sided.”

  I lifted up to straddle her. “Nothing about this will be one-sided.”

  “Then take off your shirt. I want to see you, touch you. Kiss you everywhere.” Her voice held tender hope and it almost convinced me.

  “We’re doing just fine like this.” My hands dragged down her chest, fingers splayed to touch as much of her as possible.

  “We’re not. Either we do this all the way or we don’t do this.”

  “Oh, we’ll be going all the way, sexy.” My fingers brushed over her mound.

  She pulled my hand away. “Your shirt.”

  “Come on, Lena. You’re not really going to stop this now. Not when I’ve barely started with you. Not when we’re both so close to coming, a breeze might do us in.” I leaned down to kiss her, pouring everything I promised into one kiss.

  “Don’t hide from me, please.” She looked both determined and vulnerable. “I’ve seen scars before.”

  I wasn’t conscious of moving, but my legs swung off of her. I pulled upright and fought not to turn away. I’d been in this position before. Twice, and both times, my partner had stopped when he or she saw my chest. They’d had to be coaxed into finishing what we’d started. Yes, one had been an asshole teenage boy, but the other had been an experienced college woman who assured me that she’d be fine. She hadn’t been. She’d turned off the light and avoided touching my chest. I made a decision that night. It would be the last time. I wouldn’t go through that hurt again. None of my casual sex liaisons cared if I kept a shirt on.

  “You’ve seen scars? No, you haven’t. You’ve seen pretty little lines cut by a scalpel and sewn back together to barely mar the skin. You haven’t seen a scar on top of another scar, on top of another scar, on top of yet another, and again, and oh, one final one on top of that. You haven’t seen skin knitted together as a baby that then stretches to the size of a woman being opened and reopened six times. It doesn’t look like the doctor used a scalpel with me. It looks like he cut me open with a chainsaw. That isn’t something we need to see tonight.”

  She swallowed, blinking away moisture from her eyes. “It is.”

  “Lena.” I let a disbelieving laugh escape. “You’re not really going to walk out of here when we’re both worked up right now. Let me finish, please.”

  She stopped my hand from touching her. “I’m sorry. It’s all or nothing. We’re equals here or we’re not doing this.”

  I deflated. I couldn’t believe she’d stop this right now. Not when she’d kissed me like she needed my kiss to live. Not when she’d responded to my hands on her breasts like she might climax just from that.

  When I didn’t move, she sat up and reached for her shirt. In seconds she had it on and was sliding off the bed to step into her underwear and slip on her pants. I’d never seen anyone dress that quickly before.

  “You’re really going to walk out in the middle of this?”

  She raked her hot gaze over me, regret in her eyes. “I don’t want to, but I won’t have another relationship ruined by power plays.” She moved to the doorway. “You know what I want. It’s up to you where we go from here.”

  With that she walked out of my bedroom, leaving me more than just hot and bothered.

  Chapter 25

  Irritation flared all afternoon. For the past two days if I were being honest. Brooke and Hazel had already commented on my much shorter than normal fuse. I knew what it was, but I wasn’t about to say it out loud.

  How could she have left like that?

  Hazel buzzed me from reception. My least favorite clients were in reception without an appointment. Just what I needed, something more irritating than my thoughts.

  “Hi, Wendy, Keith, what brings you by?”

  “Oh, we didn’t think you’d…we were here to…” Wendy hedged.

  “We’d like our file. We’re switching accountants.” Keith was talking to Hazel.

  That shocked me out of irritation. As annoying a client as Keith was, he’d been one of the first businesses I’d landed when I put out my CPA sign. “Are you unhappy with my service?”

  Wendy scoffed then looked surprised by the sound. “We’re going in another direction.”

  Accounting didn’t have many other directions unless they meant an illegal one. I gestured toward my office, but they stayed rooted to the ground. “Another direction?”

  “We’re not staying with you. Not now.” Keith had flared up at client meetings before, but this didn’t seem like a flare up.

  “I can’t force you to stay,
but you’re valued clients.” If valued meant pains in the ass, that is. But I wouldn’t be rude or pass up their billables just because Keith was a lot to handle.

  “We’re going to use Ted.”

  The financial advisor? They ran four very different businesses. Their tax structure was confusing to me, and I focused on taxes. Ted made commissions on stock trades. His client meetings consisted of trying to convince his clients to invest more so he’d get higher commissions.

  “He’s not a CPA or a tax attorney. He’s not qualified to do your taxes.”

  “Of course he is.”

  I’d suffered many headaches courtesy of Keith, but I couldn’t just hand them off to someone who wasn’t qualified without sufficient warning. “He can assess your financial situation and recommend investments, but he is not a tax specialist, certainly not a business tax specialist.”

  “We’re not staying with you!” Keith rippled with anger.

  I stepped back. “I’ve been looking out for your business finances for six years, Keith. Do you want to tell me where this anger is coming from?”

  “You want a reason?” he taunted.

  “Keith!” Wendy raised her voice.

  “Forget it. She asked for it,” he barked at his wife. “You’ve been lying to us for years.”

  I took another step back. “I have never once misrepresented anything on your accounts or tax filings.”

  “We’re not talking about our businesses,” Wendy said.

  “Then how have I lied to you?”

  “You’re a lesbian and you never told us. Do you know how much that goes against everything we believe? How humiliating it was to learn that you’d tricked us?” Keith said.

  Wasn’t this old news yet? Since Andy started talking, I’d noticed a few whispers and stares. Some clients had asked, but most just approached Brooke, Hazel, or Mei. I still couldn’t figure out what my sexuality had to do with anyone in town. I wasn’t dating them. Why did I all of a sudden go from being their accountant or friend or acquaintance to being a lesbian? It made no sense that my sexuality, which had never been front and center with me, was now the first and seemingly only label they affixed.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. If you’ll settle your account with Hazel, I’ll have your file copied and delivered to your office. For the record, I’ve never once lied to you.” I turned to head back to my office.

  “You’re lying now.”

  I swiveled back, letting the irritation I’d been feeling have an outlet. “Did I ever tell you I wasn’t a lesbian?”

  “You’ve been dating the mayor for years. You dated the sheriff’s son. You’ve been lying to everyone.”

  “Spencer and I have always been upfront about the fact that we’re just friends. I’ve never lied to you about anything, especially not about something that is none of your business.” I could feel my face grow hot and remembered why I tried not to let things bother me. Anger never did anyone any good. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some quarterly tax filings to finish. You might want to remind Ted that he’s got three days to finish yours or you’ll owe a hefty fine. And when he admits that he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, good luck finding another tax specialist closer than Denver.”

  Their breathing came in quick pants as they glared at me. Hazel saved their sure retort by waving their bill and demanding payment. They wouldn’t dawdle with this bill like usual. Now that they knew a deadline was looming, they’d want their file.

  Idiots. I crossed my fingers that they were the only clients who felt this way. I had plenty, but I didn’t like losing any for something so trivial.

  I gave Hazel enough time to get their check and stamp their invoice paid. The door closed with a loud bang, and I resurfaced with my briefcase. “Think I’ll leave early.”

  Hazel studied me. “Don’t let them get you down, Glorious One.”

  “They’re not. I’m just feeling tired and worn down. I might go home and plan a little vacation.”

  She sat up straighter, energized by my pronouncement. “That sounds like fun.”

  “It does, doesn’t it? Right off the top of my head.”

  “I like when you go with your gut. You head on home.” She waved me out the door.

  Ten minutes later, I was shoving a load of laundry into the machine. I’d clean my bathroom next and think about planning a vacation. It was too hot to be sitting outside, and truthfully, I was avoiding my porch. I shouldn’t be. I wasn’t the one who’d walked out at a compromising moment.

  By evening, I couldn’t help myself. Television didn’t appeal when I had a good book and the lovely outdoors. I headed out to the porch with some ice tea and the banana bread I’d made last night when I was avoiding the porch. Spencer’s mower sounded in the distance, and I thought I could smell a barbeque from Nancy’s direction. In front of me, I watched three squirrels leap from limb to limb in their version of squirrel tag. Definitely better than television.

  “Hey,” Lena called out from the street. She was struggling with the little used leashes in both hands. Kitty was trying desperately to drag her toward me.

  “Hi.” I waved, trying to play it cool. The last time I’d seen her, she was naked beneath me. That was a hard vision to dismiss at the moment. “Hi, doggies.” They both jumped at my greeting.

  Lena laughed and let go of their leashes. They bounded toward me and she lagged behind. I rubbed them, waiting to see what she’d do. It took longer than normal, but she made it onto the porch and lowered herself into her usual chair.

  I turned my surprised expression back to the squirrels. “Having a good day?”

  “I started putting in a few hours at school while the rest of the staff is off for July. It’s nice and quiet, but sometimes spooky.”

  “Redrum?” I guessed, quoting the king of all spooky movies.

  She laughed, which made her relax against the chair. “I think my head was playing with me today. It’s amazing the creaks and clicks that happen in a large unoccupied building.”

  “Shouldn’t you be taking your vacation time like everyone else?”

  “They’ve been at their jobs for years. I’m still trying to make my way here.”

  I respected that. It wouldn’t make me go in to work when I had a sanctioned and paid month off, but I respected her viewpoint.

  She took my offer of ice tea and banana bread. We sat without speaking for a while. Her dogs both chomped on extra bread. After fifteen minutes with no mention of what happened between us, I began to wonder if I’d imagined the other night. Perhaps we hadn’t been about to make love. Maybe she hadn’t ever kissed me. By the look of us now, those things couldn’t have happened. Surely one of us would bring it up.

  But she’d definitely kissed me. I knew that much. I’d never been kissed that well before. I’d never been convinced that a kiss was anything more than two mouths touching. It hadn’t been anything other than a pleasant addition to making love. But Lena’s kiss had been like wind to a kite. Everything about it cranked me up. I’d wanted more. I still did.

  Funny how pride can screw things up. I wouldn’t acquiesce because I was certain I’d endure the same kind of hurt, possibly worse since I already cared very much for Lena. Yet I was still vexed that she’d been able to walk out when she didn’t get what she wanted. We’d been naked and ready. The awkward, sometimes clumsy part of sex already taken care of. Only the good stuff was left to do. And she’d walked away. Made a demand, and walked right out the door. Damned if I did and damned when I didn’t. My pride got roughed up that night for sure.

  “Anything new at work for you?” she asked, tossing water on the flames my memory was sparking.

  “My two worst clients are probably going to get audited and fined for not meeting a pretty important tax deadline. All because they didn’t want to work with a lesbian.”

  She shifted in her chair to look at me. “I was going to ask if you’d decided to tell everyone recently. I’ve overhead a few conversations around
town these last few weeks.”

  “You’re out, too, you know.”

  She seemed startled by this. “Terry?”

  “Yep.”

  “Is that why I can’t seem to get Jennifer on the phone anymore?”

  I shrugged and hoped not. Jennifer was a nice lady. I’d hate to think she was a bigot.

  “Who’d you finally tell that can’t keep her mouth shut?” She flicked her sleek ponytail over her shoulder, expending some of her snark.

  “No one ever asked. They all assumed I was straight because I dated Rick in high school and hang out with Spencer now. Everyone who should know does.”

  “Why has it become a recent news item?”

  “This town has nothing better to gossip about, I guess.”

  She continued with her questioning glance. She could be persistent like that.

  “Andy. He’s known since I moved back. Don’t know why he’s sharing now.”

  She scoffed again. “People do strange things when they’re hurt.”

  I nodded and leaned down for another dog rub. She could have been speaking about the other night, but she probably meant it as is. It would explain Andy’s odd behavior since his separation. I couldn’t care less about his diarrhea of the mouth, but he didn’t seem to be acting in a healthy manner these days. At least he wasn’t holding up the divorce. It would be finalized in a week.

  “We better get going.” She stood and patted her leg to get the dogs up. “It’s my brother’s birthday. I’ve got to put in a call and convince him to come for a visit.”

  “If he’s a skier, he won’t be able to resist our winters.”

  She smiled, looking off at nothing. “I bet that’s what he’s been waiting for. I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks.”

  “Any time.”

  She waved and headed home. I was left with a little more comfort about our friendship than I’d had over the past two days. It wasn’t enough to stop the gnawing sensation from eating at my stomach. I never liked unfinished business. A move, one way or the other, had to be made.