by C. R. Jane
"Adi?" Alexander calls as he, Finn, and Nyx walk in. I quickly yank away from Connor, trying to ignore the look of hurt on his face at my blatant attempt to hide what just happened from the others. Alexander looks at us suspiciously, his gaze targeting on my lips, which I can feel are swollen from what just happened.
"Good movie?" he asks, going for nonchalant, but I can hear the jealousy threaded throughout his voice.
"You know I'm a sucker for Wedding Crashers," I respond. I'm trying to go for a steady voice but it comes out a bit breathless nevertheless.
I all of a sudden start to feel guilty. Did I just cheat on the others? We haven't really talked about the boundaries of this relationship, and here I am kissing Connor. I mean, I wouldn't even think of kissing another man, but Connor and I have had this unfinished business that's only been building since he arrived at the school. What just happened with Connor has felt inevitable.
I can't stand being in the room with any of them right now. The guilt is too much.
"I'm tired," I announce, unable to look anyone in the eye as I rush out of the room. I hear the guys exchange some angry words as I'm leaving, but I don't stay to find out what they're saying.
I've almost made it back to my room when someone grabs me by the waist, spinning me around and pushing me against the wall.
It's Alexander of course.
"Did you kiss him?" he asks, his voice loaded with so much emotion that it hurts me to examine them closely.
He crashes his lips against mine suddenly, like he's desperate to wipe away Connor's touch. But he's too late. Connor has somehow found his way into my soul, just like Alexander. Just like the rest. Alexander's kiss speaks of a desperate desire to own me. And he does. There's a piece of me that only belongs to him. Just like there's a piece that only belongs to the others.
But I don't want to think about that right now.
Grasping his neck and his head, I hang on to Alexander, returning his fevered kisses, lashing my tongue against his. Tension coils tightly in my body, a mass of heat that sears me from the inside out, a scalding ache that begs to be eased. An ache that's been building ever since my kiss with Connor.
He pulls back from my lips, fire in his eyes as he stares down at me. "He'll only break your heart, Adi," he whispers.
"They once said that about you," I respond in a rough voice.
He sighs and pulls me into my bedroom, where he lowers me onto the bed and then crawls in after me, ripping off his shirt as he does so.
Alexander wraps me in his arms, and we lay there in the dark, the silence suffocating after the intense moment in the hallway.
"Are you mad?" I finally whisper.
He doesn't answer for a long time, and it's almost maddening. "No. I've known there was something with him from the moment I saw the two of you together. I know firsthand how impossible it is to ignore your heart." He takes a deep breath. "But I don't trust him. And you're not going to change my mind about that," he tells me fervently.
There's another long silence.
"But no one else, Adi. I won't share you with another fucking person."
"I know it's not fair," I whisper. I find it's easier to be truthful when he can't see me, so the words slip out. "I would hate it if the roles were reversed. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing you with anyone else."
"It's not easy," he agrees. "But I would take any love you would deign to give me. Even if it was just a crumb." There's a sad lilt to his voice, and I can imagine him as a young boy, desperate for affection from a conniving mother and a stepfather that was nice to him just to use him.
"It's not just a crumb," I tell him, wanting to cry. "I love you with my whole heart. I just love them like that too." A hiccuped sob bursts out of me. It's full of guilt and wondering how this situation even happened. "And I don't know what it is with Connor. It's confusing...maddening really. But it doesn't affect how I feel about you at all."
"It's okay, Adeline," he whispers, pulling me closer.
But it doesn't feel okay.
Nothing feels okay.
Would it ever again?
Chapter 3
I remember how scared I was on my first day at Raven Academy. How Clarissa bullied me. How quickly I fell for Alexander and the others. How Braxton captivated my heart from the first time I laid eyes on him. How I’d tried to put Connor out of my thoughts. How I never forgot him. And never would.
Thinking back, it feels like everything's meant to have happened just as it has. Fate...that was the word for it. Did I believe fate would bring me to a school filled with vampires...most wanting nothing more than to feed on my soul until there was nothing left of me?
I think I did.
I sit at a gorgeous long kitchen table with five men who have turned my world upside down. They are part of me. We are one, and I can’t lose them for anything.
I reach forward and grab two slices of toast from the pile in the middle of the table. Nyx slides the tub of butter across the table toward me, while Dante places the jar of honey next to my plate. There are scrambled eggs, bowls of fresh fruit, and a glass jug with orange juice.
Braxton went on a food run to the closest store this morning, mostly to ensure I ate enough during training.
I bite into my breakfast and check out the enormous kitchen. Everything is sleek and a brilliant white. Oversized windows with no curtains reveal a glorious blue sky. Somehow, it feels wrong for the day to look so spectacular. We are on the run, yet the weather betrays the severity of the danger we are facing.
The guys are eating and drinking coffee, while I glance back at the mountain of toasted bread, wondering why they made so much. I butter my two slices and drizzle honey over them, needing something to fill my stomach and to distract myself from worrying.
Water lapping at the shore draws my attention back outside through the open French doors that lead to a fenced in deck. In the distance, the pale blue water glints beneath the fierce sun, and a cool breeze rushes inside, bringing with it a salty smell.
Alexander smiles at me, his eyes gleaming. “You okay?” he asks, when it should be me asking the question. Since I’ve woken up, hardly anyone has spoken. The tension is like a brewing storm, hovering above us, the air thick and crackling with energy.
“I’m worried. We can’t run forever,” I say, and take a bite of the sweet toast.
“You aren’t going to get caught by the council,” Alexander says, adamantly. He carries enough confidence for both of us.
“No one can hide forever,” I murmur.
“Adi,” Braxton adds, his voice calm. “We can’t think like that. There is no way they can get you, because then…” He swallows loudly. “The only way that would happen was if none of us were alive. We won’t let them touch you.” His gorgeous lips turn upward at the corners into the perfect smile. Except his words are what worry me. They will sacrifice themselves for me, and my heart clenches at the thought.
The way Braxton looks at me leaves me breathless with need. I melt under his gaze, and I know I’ve fallen hard for them. So hard that it scares me.
I picture myself crawling across the table to reach Braxton and kiss his full lips. He offers me the most devious grin, like he can see into my mind. I feel everyone’s eyes on me, and I know that without a doubt, if I did go to him, we’d end up in a daylong sex marathon. Except, distracting myself with my gorgeous men is really only putting off the inevitable...
The tension is high because we are all thinking the same thing. We feel trapped and haven’t worked a way out.
Connor marches into the kitchen, his chin lifted, nose scrunched up. He’s wearing jeans hanging low on his hips and a wrinkled white tee that looks molded to his chest.
“It’s like a goddamn funeral in here. Why are you all moping around?” He reaches forward, pushing himself between Finn and Dante to grab three slices of toast and the tub of butter.
All I can think about when I look over to him is our kiss. He catches me looking and winks. Blus
h hits my cheeks, and I frown at him. This thing with Connor has been going on forever. It’s still hard for me to believe that he turned up at Raven Academy, and my emotions for him are all over the place. He’s hiding a secret, I know this, yet when we kissed, I reverted to the girl I was at my old school, who dreamed of him every day. The memory of our kiss has me tingling and wanting to do it again...and again.
Connor is a surprise I never expected.
“Stop bitching,” Nyx snaps back at Connor, tearing me out of my thoughts. “We’re brainstorming.”
Connor bursts into a laugh. “Right.” He makes his way to the counter and scrapes butter over his toast with a knife. He then presses his ass against the kitchen counter to face us, crosses one leg over the other at the ankle, and begins eating his toast. “So, spill then. What’s the big plan?”
“Don’t be such a dick,” Alexander warns.
Connor’s mouth twists into a crooked grin.
“Our plan is to stay here a few days,” Alexander adds. “Adi needs help to control her wings. And we need to work out where to go next.”
“As well as anticipate the council’s next steps,” Finn says as he pushes up from the table. “Anyone need a coffee top up?”
“Me,” Dante responds.
They may be vampires, but they’ve fallen prey to many human cravings, including caffeine. “Me too,” I add.
I press my back against my chair and eat my breakfast as Finn fills up my cup. Honestly, any other situation, and this may be heaven. Me and my men away at a mansion right on the beach. Away from the craziness of the world. It would sound like perfection, if we weren’t literally being hunted.
I sense Connor watching me, and the last thing I want to do is cause drama, but how did he end up in our little gang again?
“Make yourself useful,” Alexander addresses Connor. “Familiarize yourself with the roads around here and make a quick escape plan in case we need to leave urgently.”
Connor’s eyes are hooded, his mouth thinning at Alexander’s command, but he bites into his toast, holding Alexander’s stare. If I thought tension rippled in the kitchen before, now it hummed with electricity, ready to implode. With a nod, Connor heads outside onto the deck, leaving us all behind.
I take my filled cup and sip the heavenly coffee, exchanging glances with Nyx, who half grins at me. He’s so cute, his pale blue eyes glinting. In my heart, all I want is to disappear with my guys and just escape everything. To be together where we only laugh, talk, and have endless sex. Sounds like a fairy tale to me.
Alexander is on his feet abruptly. “Come to the beach when you’re ready for training, gorgeous,” he says, looking at me, the hardness from his voice dissolving.
Hopefully, today’s training will go better than yesterday. At least there’s been no sign of my wings jutting out and knocking anyone out this morning.
That’s a step in the right direction.
Alexander saunters out of the room, Finn on his heels. Dante finishes his coffee in a few quick gulps, then together with Nyx, they both blow me kisses and stroll out of the kitchen.
“Then there were two,” I say to Braxton who’s still in his seat across the table from me. “We’re in a real mess, aren’t we?”
Braxton gets up and moves to sit next to me. His hand slides across my lower back and drags me closer with my chair. My whole body tingles at being so close to him, like it’s our first time being this close. It’s always this way with the guys and I.
“If anyone discovered that you were an angel much earlier, things might have turned out a lot worse.”
“I know.” I sigh, not wanting to think about what could have been. “We barely escaped from the school, and I can’t stop looking over my shoulder at every sound.”
He cups my face and tilts my head back so I’m staring deep into his emerald eyes. My heart stutters. “I knew the first time I saw you at Raven Academy that you were special, Adi. I wanted to claim you as mine the very moment I arrived to welcome you to the campus. Just like I know now that I will fight to the end to keep you safe. You need to trust us and focus on honing your powers.”
“My wings, you mean?”
The corners of his mouth quirk as he presses his brow to mine. “I suspect you are much more—.” He suddenly stops, as if catching himself saying something he shouldn’t.
More what? Parting my lips, a response edges on the tip of my tongue when his mouth grazes mine, and I completely lose myself. I loop my hands around his neck and draw myself closer to him, kissing him back with a raw and hungry need. There is something almost beautiful about the way he kisses me as though he struggles to hold himself together. This powerful vampire, who would terrify most people just melts for me, and I adore that about him.
He pulls me tightly against his body, his arms wrapping around me. Our chests are pressed together, my breaths racing. Braxton kisses with confidence. He’s a man who knows what he wants and takes it. I get completely lost in him, his woodsy scent underlying with something primal I can’t explain. It leaves me wanting to wrap myself around him, because with him I feel secure and loved.
When he breaks our kiss, I’m breathless and he’s staring at my lips, which feel full and bruised from his kiss.
“We better stop before…” His words dissolve, and he stares at me with an expression that is intoxicating. I know exactly what he meant to say because my body betrays me too, and I just want to crawl back into his arms and let myself escape.
“Adi, you make me crazy with how much I want you,” he says roughly. Despite his words, he climbs to his feet and runs his hands through his short brown chestnut hair, as if trying to find his composure. “But there’ll be lots of time. We can’t lose our heads.”
He’s always the logical one, while I fight the urge to get up on my chair and wrap my body around his. I want to beg him to take me here and now.
I nod instead and slump back in my seat before reaching for my coffee. It’s lukewarm now, but I drink it down anyway.
“Come outside when you’re ready,” he murmurs, and offers me a breathtaking smile that reminds me why I fell head over heels for him so quickly. Those strong cheekbones, the perfect lips, that devilish grin. Be still my heart.
I study him walking away and down the hallway before vanishing around a corner.
“Can you be any more desperate?” Connor mocks me all the way from the deck.
I cringe on the inside as I forgot he was out there.
I swing around and hop up and onto my feet. “You sound jealous.” My gaze snaps to Connor, who has his back to me. His hands grip the wooden railing, and he stares out toward the stunning beach.
It still amazes me how strong and large Connor looks compared to back at school. How much he has changed in such a short time.
A light breeze flutters through his short, black hair.
He clears his throat. “I’m still getting used to seeing something that is mine being shared by others.”
His words raise my hackles, and I narrow my gaze. “You think I’m yours because you kissed me?” I step out onto the deck to join him.
He turns around to face me, standing tall, his shoulders broad, and there’s a shattered look on his face. My mind goes straight to high school, to all those times we spent together as he consoled me over my dad’s illness. I fell for Connor so hard, and he couldn’t have been that blind to not know how I felt. And now the expression of hurt on his face reminds me of how I felt when he didn’t stick up for me as Alexia bullied and beat me up after school.
I hate that those thoughts affect me, even now after all this time. Hate that my heart skips at seeing the pain wash over his face. I shouldn’t care…but I know deep down inside, I do. He’s my first real hard crush and I can never forget him.
“Adi, you never should have gone to Raven Academy,” he whispers.
“Not this again. You know why I had to attend. And those guys outside are everything to me. You need to accept that.”
&nb
sp; He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just stares at me. He’s used to getting his way, never backing down. He was the king of our old school, after all. Maybe that had been part of the allure as to why I fell for him. To have someone like him pay me any attention was exhilarating, and I craved him so much. Now looking back, I hate how desperate I had been.
“Do I mean anything to you?” he asks.
“Shit, Connor.” My throat chokes up, and I glance out to the beach where my five men are by the water, practicing fight moves. They are my everything, so why does my chest ache for Connor?
“It’s a pretty simple answer,” he pushes the point.
I press my lips together and feel like my insides are turning upside down. For so long, I fantasized about having Connor kiss me and look at me as he does now. But what is his real reason for suddenly being interested in me? Is it pure male dominance, where he wants what others have? Then when he gets me, what will he do? Toss me aside again?
“I know you’re struggling with what an ass I was back at school.”
My answer came from a place of truth, because honesty is the way I knew. “It scares me that I feel things for you. When I look at you, I can’t decide if I want to run away or scream.”
“And yet, you kissed me,” he reminds me.
He’s right. I have little control. I’ve tried to push him away, but instead, my emotions are roiling inside me at the unrelenting desire I have for him. At the ache I felt for him long ago…it still thumps through me as strong as ever.
“Why did you kiss me, after all this time? After everything?” I ask.
He steps closer, and I instinctively retreat. “I’ve always been interested in you, Adeline. But I won’t lose you. I won’t make that mistake again.”
My insides clench at his words.
He reaches over and smooths back a strand of my hair that flutters over the side of my face, a tender gesture. His smile is captivating, and all I can think about is how tender his mouth felt against mine.
“I don’t get a choice in the way I feel about you,” he says. “Just as you can’t control what you feel for those vampires out there.” There is scorn in his voice when he says vampires.