by C. R. Jane
"That vampire who attacked me at camp...Connor was the one who killed him," I whisper as the clues finally start to make sense. I remember thinking at the time that Connor knew more than he seemed about the death, but like I was prone to do, I had pushed what was right in front of me out of my mind.
"He was also the one who killed Dixon," said Alexander darkly. "It was right in front of my fucking face, and I somehow missed it."
Connor's revelation put us all even more on edge than we already were.
"What was that word he said? A dhampir?" I ask after I get in and put on my seat belt.
"It's basically the elite class of vampire hunters. There's many that consider themselves hunters, but they're nothing but jokes. A dhampir is the child of a human and a vampire. There aren't many of them, but when they're born they are usually taken away from the parents and trained from infants to become hunters. A dhampir has more control over their urges while still having the supernatural qualities, so they make perfect hunters," explained Braxton.
My eyes widen as I listen, and my heart softens towards Connor at the thought that he might have been taken from his parents as a baby and trained to be a hunter. It doesn’t make up for him lying, but it explains a lot. At our old school, Connor had always been fascinated by my ordinary suburban life. I never understood why my blue-collar family was so interesting to him. But I guess if you never got to meet your family, such a situation would be intriguing.
"Are they as strong as vampires?" I ask, wanting to know everything there is to know about Connor now that I have the chance. It is still crazy that I am actually living a life where supernatural creatures are a topic of conversation...where I am a supernatural creature.
"Almost. Connor certainly is. And he's been trained well," said Dante begrudgingly.
"Now do you understand why you can't trust him?" asks Alexander, turning around in the front passenger seat to look at me.
I hesitate, and he growls in frustration. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, Adeline. You just found out he's been lying to you. That he's been using you to hunt us down. We mean so little to you that you would literally still have feelings for someone who wants to kill us? Would anyone be interchangeable?" He's yelling by the end. The look on the other guys' faces tell me they are all thinking the same thing.
I don't answer right away, not sure how to put into words my conflicted feelings. Connor does have a lot to explain. Like why he was at my first school, and if he came to Raven Academy knowing I would be there, or just to go after the guys. And then obviously, if he had just gotten close to me at first because of my relationship with the others.
But thinking about it and everything I did know about Connor...I knew that I couldn't say that he was just trying to use me now. I could feel it in every kiss, see it in every longing gaze he gave me. He loved me. He really did.
Plus, none of the guys had ended up dead in their beds in the middle of the night.
That right there tells me he wasn't planning on killing them, hadn't been for a while. He'd had ample opportunity to do so, even at the beach house, since they hadn't known what he was.
I feel a pang of loss thinking about the beach house. For a moment, we'd had a small taste of paradise and peace...and now it was gone again.
"Unbelievable!" Alexander spits out, turning around to face the front again and slumping against his seat. I realize that my pause to think went a little bit longer than appropriate.
"It's not like that at all. If you could see my heart, you would never doubt my love for you, Alexander. None of you would ever doubt it again. But just like I know that you love me, I know that he loves me. And I'm not sure what that means yet. Or how I feel about that yet. But whatever he started his journey for, it's changed. He's no longer after you. He doesn't want to hurt me."
"She's right," comes Connor's groggy voice from the trunk area. "It's been a while since I even thought about hurting you assholes. Because I didn't want to hurt her. It goes against everything I've been raised to believe. But hurting her like that by killing one of you, the thought is sickening. I care too much about her."
Alexander scoffs in the front, and Braxton has a small frown on his face, but Finn, Dante, and Nyx seem to be thinking over what Connor just said. They look confused.
I lean back against my seat warily. "Let's table this discussion for now. You saw what Connor did in there. He killed Clarissa. Let's just figure out where we're going and what we need to do and address everyone's issues with Connor later," I suggest with a sigh, looking out my window and feeling exhausted all of a sudden.
"As you guys know, I've had an obsession with angels as of late. Much of what I've found appears to be myth, but there's a professor I've found at Vanderbilt that studies the occult. He's published quite a bit on vampires and other supernaturals that is scarily accurate. And much of those publications have talked about the relationship between vampires and angels over the centuries. I think we should talk to him and see if he knows anything," says Braxton.
"You think a human can help with this?" scoffs Dante arrogantly.
I give him a look.
"Sorry, angel, but you're not a human. You can't get offended on their behalf anymore," he tells me with a sexy wink.
I huff and cross my arms. "We don't have any other bright ideas, so we might as well try," I tell everyone.
"What about a plan where we just hide you away so you don't get murdered by a horde of angry vampires?" calls out Connor. "And if this is going to be a long ride, can someone untie me for a bit? My arms and legs are going numb."
"How long is the drive?" I ask Braxton, ignoring Connor’s other statement.
"Fourteen hours, give or take," he responds.
"Okay, I'm untying him," I say as I unbuckle my seatbelt and turn to crawl over the backseat.
"I'll do it," Nyx grumbles. "But you're going to be rethinking this when he tries to stab us all."
"The word ‘tries’ is a bit insulting," Connor responds smugly.
I groan. "You're not helping," I bark.
Connor smartly remains quiet while Nyx unties him. I'm watching them closely to make sure a fight doesn't break out. Connor and Nyx climb over the seat from the trunk space and settle into seats. Nyx and Dante both make sure to scoot as far away from Connor as possible, shooting him suspicious looks every couple of seconds like they think he's going to suddenly attack them. Apparently, they've forgotten all the times they've been sleeping near Connor and he's failed to stake them.
I look over and notice that Finn is looking out the window pensively. I reach over and grab his hand, making him look at me. "Everything okay?" I ask softly, although there's really no way to hide conversations when you're in a car with a bunch of beings with supernatural hearing.
"Fine," he responds glumly, clearly signaling that he is not fine.
His eyes glance over my back, and I realize that my wings are still out in all their glory. You can tell how distracted we've all been with Connor's revelation that no one has said anything. Although it doesn't really matter if anyone saw me at this point. They would just think that I was a weirdo who was wearing an angel costume or something, since the truth defied actual comprehension.
It’s still hard for me to believe that I am an angel.
"Those aren't going to be comfortable to have out for a long drive," Finn comments, a hint of lust rising up in his eyes as he traces their form with his gaze. Excited shivers creep down my skin. I've got it bad, even with everything going on, I want him. I want all of them...even Connor.
“I still have no idea how to get them back in without…” I trail off.
“Without what?” says Dante from behind me with an evil smirk.
I roll my eyes. “Without you know what…”
“Oh come on, angel, you’ve fucked two of us so far. Surely ‘make out’ can’t be hard for you to say,” Alexander drawls.
“Ugh. I hate all of you,” I announce. My wings flap behind me, as if they’re ag
reeing with me.
Dante hops into the seat next to me. “I can help you with that,” he says smugly, his gold eyes gleaming mischievously.
The temperature seems to rise in the vehicle. I can tangibly feel everyone’s interest in how I’m going to react to Dante’s taunt.
So I decided to taunt them right back.
I pull Dante towards me by his collar and slam my lips against his. A slight gasp comes out of his mouth as I do it, and I hear Nyx curse faintly as he watches.
The kiss is hot and wet. His groans meld with my sighs. I had meant the kiss to be short, but it stretches on as Dante devours my mouth.
He finally pulls away, his groan pained as if it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. The SUV was dead silent. Everyone is looking at me as if they wanted to pick up where Dante left off.
I give them all a smug smirk and leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes and blocking them all out.
My wings have retracted so I would call what just happened a success.
We’re all grumpy and tired when we pulled up to the Nashville hotel where we’ll be staying. The guys had taken turns driving so we didn’t have to stop anywhere but at Target to get some clothes and toiletries, since we had nothing. I think longingly of the clothes I’d left at the academy. It hadn’t been much, but it had been mine. I still haven’t gotten used to this life on the run thing where all you have is the clothes on your back.
"Why don't you spend the night with Finn tonight?" Braxton says, looking over at where Finn is leaning against a pillar in the lobby of the hotel, lost in thought. "I got us a suite with a few rooms so we'll still be together for safety reasons, but I think he could benefit with some time alone with you."
"Do you know what's wrong with him?"
Braxton smiles at me sadly. "You'll have to ask him," he said softly, brushing a kiss against my lips. "We all have pasts. Some of us just hide our scars better."
My heart clenches at the mournfulness in his tone. There's pain there. And he's right, they all show it in different ways. Finn usually keeps his hidden, but my kill today seems to have cut something open in him, and the pain is pouring out.
Everyone looks exhausted as we pile into the elevators. It's a relief when the doors close and we don't have to keep watch for anything suspicious in the enormous lobby. I had tried to convince them to stay in a rundown motel, thinking that would be the last place that anyone would look for us since the vampires seem to be adverse to anything less than luxury.
Like in Florida, I was quickly shut down.
Hence why the suite we walk into looks like somewhere a popstar would stay. The floors are white marble, the walls are painted black with gold fixtures. Everything looks too expensive to touch, and I slip off my shoes as I walk in, afraid to wear them inside.
The pamphlet they gave Braxton details that there are four bedrooms in the suite, and it can sleep at least twelve. I can see hallways going off the living room we've just stepped in that's at least three times bigger than my parent's living room back home. There's a large black leather sectional couch set up in the middle in front of an eighty-inch flat screen. Connor immediately gets relegated to the couch, a luxury really since Alexander was trying to vote that he should get the floor. I want to explore the rest of the place since it's two stories, but Finn looks like he's about to fall asleep on his feet. Braxton looks at the pamphlet and tells us our room is to the left.
Finn doesn't look surprised that I'll be sleeping with him, he almost looks resigned actually, and it makes me dread even more the conversation we need to have. What secrets are Finn going to tell me tonight? Will he tell me any at all?
We walk down the hallway into what looks like the master bedroom, based on the room's size and the gigantic king bed with black silk sheets it's sporting. The room is a little foreboding actually with its black tile floor, stark black rugs, and enormous black bed. Even the bathroom is all black with gold fixtures. It makes me long for the soothing light tones of the beach house. I sigh when I think about the bloody mess we left in it. I wonder if I will ever have a safe place again.
I decide to shower before talking to Finn. We had to stop and change into the clothes we’d gotten from Target before walking into the hotel. We can’t really walk into the hotel covered in blood. But I still feel disgusted. The wipes that we used to clean off hadn't quite done the job, so I strip off the clothes and step into the black marble shower, sighing as the water streamed down my body. I was a little sore after the fight-actually, really sore. Fighting for your life wasn’t for the weak, that was for sure.
I leaned against the shower wall as I think once again, for what seems like the millionth time today, of the fact that I had taken a life. I allow myself a few minutes to let my emotions wash over me before I turn off the water and get toweled off, slipping into the one extra set of clothes we bought today.
Taking a deep breath, I open the door to talk to Finn.
He’s staring out the window, lost in thought when I walk out. I don’t say anything. I just walk over next to him and slip my arm around his waist. I lay my head on his shoulder and stare out at the Nashville skyline.
We’re both quiet for a few long moments before the silence becomes too much, and I know I can’t wait any longer.
"Tell me what you've been thinking about. Ever since that comment in the car, you've been quiet," I ask him softly.
"You still don't know us very well," he warns as he refuses to look at me.
"I know," I whisper.
“I’m afraid that the more you know, the more you’ll pull away from us,” he says haltingly. “The cards are kind of stacked against us enough already with the whole fact that we’re vampires whose race has almost entirely wiped out yours.”
“You’re just making excuses,” I tell him. “You know how I feel for you.” There’s an ache in my voice as I say it.
He finally turns towards me. The fading light from outside caresses his face, casting him with a gold glow. He's beautiful, and I want to keep him forever.
He stares at me for a long moment before taking my hand and leading me to the bed. He lays us both down, arranging us so that I'm wrapped up against his body and we're looking into each other's eyes.
"I killed my father when I was fourteen," he says. He keeps his gaze on mine, almost as if he's daring me to react and run away.
"I didn't expect that," I say calmly, even though my heart is racing. I know he can hear it's rapid beat, and his gaze hardens.
"My dad was a monster. He used to beat me and my mother senseless. He'd start on her, and I would come after him. Since I was just a little kid, I'd end up knocked out almost immediately, and my mother would be left alone to try and ward him off. This went on for years. I tried to get help for us, but my father was on the council and they always left each other to their own devices," he says bitterly. "When I was fourteen, he went too far with my mother to where her supernatural healing powers couldn't even do anything for her. I was at school, and I came home to find an ambulance leaving our estate. I raced to the hospital and waited alone in that waiting room for sixteen hours, until someone finally took pity on me and gave me the news that she was stabilized. The doctor had the nerve to tell me that my mother was very lucky that my father found her after she'd slipped and hit her head." Finn gives a bitter laugh as he thinks about it, and I pull him closer to me as if I might lose him to the past if I don't hold on.
"I went home that night from the hospital in a rage. It was the last straw. I was determined to confront my father, no matter the cost. Well, I happened to walk in on him raping one of the maids on the living room floor, and I lost it. I took a glass sculpture, shattered it, and then stabbed him in the heart with one of the long shards."
My pulse is racing even faster after Finn finishes his story. It's almost incomprehensible that my gentle Finn would even be capable of doing something like that. Or that he would even have such a horrifying backstory as that.
"Are you happy I to
ld you?" he asks in a sneering, ugly voice that makes me flinch. "Do you still want to love a murderer like me?"
"Finn," I say softly, reaching a hand up to stroke his face, even as my other hand holds onto his shirt tightly.
He moves his face away from me, as if he can't bear my touch. "Look at me," I whisper. He squeezes his eyes shut, and I watch as a tear trickles down his face. "Look at me," I say again, this time in a stronger voice.
He finally opens his eyes, and I stare at those bewitching green eyes that I love so much. "I love you," I tell him fiercely. And his gaze widens in shock. "I love you, and that's never going to change no matter what you say. You were just a boy. And your father was a terrible person, who didn't deserve to live. I love you," I say again as I reach out to try and touch his face again. This time, he lets me touch him, leaning into my face as if he's desperate for it. The tears come faster now, and I'm crying with him. “The fact that despite all of that, you grew up to be the gentle, beautiful man you are—it's a miracle,” I whisper. And one that I won't soon forget.
I pull him towards me and press a soft kiss against his lips. A rough sob comes out of his mouth at my touch.
We break apart and we're both still, just breathing each other in. And then his hands are cupping the back of my neck, and he's pressing his lips against mine desperately. A throaty growl tears past his lips as his tongue dips past mine. Bursts of soft, sweet sensations fill my mouth. The taste of him, the feel, it makes me delirious. I close my eyes, letting the heavy drugging feeling of his lips pull me under. My hand leaves his face and presses against his chest, his heart thundering beneath my fingertips. My lips slide across his, our tongues slipping and dancing slowly, mimicking how I want him to move inside my body. He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me in closer. He breaks off the kiss with labored breathing and murmurs, "I want you." He says it like a question though, and I answer him with another kiss.
"Please," I beg, my voice sounding raspy and breathless as it leaves me. An explosion of flames erupts low in my stomach. "Please touch me."