“Here, they aren’t soft but they’re absorbent.”
“Thanks, Cade, I’m sorry, I’m not usually weepy like this.”
“I know that, Manny, you’ve had a lot thrust on you the past few days. Come sit down and talk to me. Let someone else be strong for a while.”
“Thanks,” Amanda sniffed as she sat down on the hay bale next to him. “I can’t decide which is worse, the silence of the past few days or the fighting they started tonight,” she related her thoughts.
“If they aren’t speaking at all they aren’t dealing with it, Manny,” Cade shared his perspective.
“I guess,” she acknowledged as she pulled her knees up under her chin. “I realized tonight how little real tragedy I’ve had to deal with, Cade. I don’t remember losing Mom. There’s a hole I guess, but no sad memories. Until recently Dad and Trent seldom had more than an occasional squabble; it’s almost as though they decided to make up for lost time all at once.”
“Your dad and brother will eventually be okay. Your brother leaving for college may actually give them the space and time they need to sort it all out.”
“I hope so, Cade; I can’t stand seeing them like this.”
“With all that happened the last few days I haven’t gotten a chance to share my good news with you,” Cade announced as he plucked a piece of hay from the bale he was sitting on and began picking it apart.
“What good news?” Amanda sat up and turned to face him.
“I’m leaving for college next week when Trent does.”
“What?” Amanda’s eyes widened at the news.
“Your father came to me the day before the accident and offered me an opportunity to go to college. I never thought it would really be an option for me.”
“That’s wonderful, Cade,” Amanda offered him a smile even as tears stung her eyes.
“If it’s so great why are you crying again?” his smile was bewildered.
“I’m sorry, it’s just, Trent’s leaving, you’re leaving…Angie’s gone and I’m stuck here,” she shared.
“Things will level off, school will start back and before you know it things will be looking up.”
“Maybe,” she offered a weak smile. “I am glad you’re getting to go to college, Cade.”
“Thanks, Manny. Well, I am going to go grab some dinner before the herd of men in the bunk house demolish it all,” Cade joked as he stood.
“Thanks for listening, Cade. I’ll get the lights and the door,” Amanda offered. Cade disappeared through the doors and Amanda stood; she pulled the doors to before turning the lights off and continuing to the loft. Once there, she lay down in the open door, the light of the moon spilling over her as she gazed up at the stars. Her whole world was changing, coming apart at the seams; at least it felt that way. Her thoughts strayed to Angela and Amanda felt hot tears sting her eyes. She had come to love her brother’s girlfriend. There was a part of her that wished the pair had succeeded in eloping. Having an older sister would have been nice.
Seven
Amanda, her mind not really on the pastor’s sermon, sat between her father and brother in their usual pew the following Sunday. Instead she found herself day dreaming about the coming school year. Her father and brother would have time apart to sort things out and she would finally outgrow the awkwardness that had plagued her from the onset of puberty and maybe finally have a boyfriend. One her age since Cade was clearly off limits; too bad about that. It was probably just as well, guys like Cade broke hearts; she didn’t need a lot experience with men to figure that out.
Maybe Chris Atkins would finally notice her; and maybe pigs would fly. Amanda almost snorted at the thought before she remembered where she was. Beside her, her father shot her a look of warning, almost as though he had been reading her thoughts. Feeling slightly guilty for letting her thoughts wander, Amanda shifted in her seat. A moment later, however, she found herself contemplating the shopping trip her father had planned for after church. He would drop Amanda and her Aunt Naomi at the mall in the neighboring town of Haddon while he went to a large chain farm supply store. It was a trip Amanda usually dreaded; this year she was looking forward to it. She had been browsing through a few magazines and emboldened by her brief tutoring from Angela, was ready to wade boldly into the world of teenage fashion…maybe. Angela had made it all look so easy; Amanda wasn’t sure she would be certain of what went well together and what didn’t. Amanda startled when her father and brother stood on either side of her and realized she had completely missed the entire sermon. Hoping her father had not noted her distraction, she quickly stood.
“You going to eat with us?” Sterling asked of his son.
“No, I’m headed on home,” Trent turned without offering further comment and moved toward the back of the church. Amanda frowned after him, though she had to admit to feeling a measure of relief that her father and brother wouldn’t have an opportunity to argue over lunch.
“Let’s go,” Sterling, his voice tight ordered.
Amanda followed her father and aunt through the church and to the truck. It was several minutes and many miles later before her father spoke.
“Figured we’d eat somewhere different since Trent didn’t want to come,” Sterling explained his passing straight through town.
“That would be nice,” Naomi agreed and offered Sterling a smile that seemed filled with understanding.
“Maybe we should let Mandy choose if she can keep her mind in the present,” Sterling suggested.
Knowing that it was her father’s way of reprimanding her for distraction during service, Amanda squirmed.
“We haven’t been to Holston’s Beef House in a while,” Amanda offered.
“We haven’t have we?” her father offered her a smile.
Amanda returned his smile and leaned back in her seat. Maybe things were going to be okay after all.
_____________________________________________
Amanda sat on her bed painting her toenails with her new nail polish and admired the way her toe nails seemed to shine. She had completely shocked her aunt when she had embraced shopping, even asking to visit the cosmetic counter and salon. Her father had blinked in surprise when she had exited the mall with her hair clipped to her shoulder blades and her make-up done by a sales clerk who had helped her select the products she needed. He didn’t even seem too upset that she had gone about forty dollars over budget.
“You look nice,” he had stated before he opened the door for her and her aunt to climb into the truck. Amanda had grinned, kissed his cheek, and thanked him.
After letting her toe nails dry, Amanda stepped into a pair of flip flops and meandered her way outside and toward the barn where she had last seen her brother. She had seen little of him since the previous Sunday and apparently he was making himself scarce today as well.
“Hey, Benjamin, Greg; Jason,” Amanda nodded at the trio where they were working with a horse in the corral. The three men waved and returned her greeting as she entered the barn.
“Hey, Cade, have you seen Trent?” Amanda queried of him where he was cleaning out one of the horse stalls.
“Not in about an hour. You cut your hair,” he had stopped and planted his gloved hands on top of his shovel handle.
“What do you think?” she grinned. She didn’t bother to tell him it had been this way all week.
“Looks nice, Manny.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m glad you came out here. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay,” Amanda watched him quizzically as he set aside his shovel, removed his gloves, and moved her way.
“I’m worried about Trent; he nearly snapped my head off when I asked him to go to town with me. He needs to get out of here for a while.”
“What can I do about it?” Amanda frowned at him.
“He’d do just about anything for you, Manny. Tell him you want to go to town with him one last time before he leaves. Anything to get him out.”
Amanda
considered Cade for a moment. She could see the worry etched into his furrowed brows and features. He was right. Her brother kept himself shut off to himself when he wasn’t working or fighting with their father.
“Okay. Do you know where he was going?”
“I think he was going to check on the well in the west pasture,” Cade offered.
Amanda nodded.
“Want me to saddle Dandelion for you?”
“Sure, if you wouldn’t mind. I’ll have to change shoes,” Amanda glanced down at her flip flops.
“Nail polish; I’m impressed,” Cade teased.
“Aunt Naomi almost had a heart attack,” Amanda confided before turning to leave. She wasted no time in trading her flip flops for her boots and making her way back to the barn.
“Thanks, Cade,” she took Dandelion’s reigns and swung into the saddle with the ease of experience. Moments later she nudged Dandelion to a canter and matched her rhythm to the horse’s. Her brother was in the west field, his horse hobbled nearby, but his attention didn’t appear to be on the well. He looked to be doing nothing more than staring into space.
“Hey, Trent,” Amanda called as she brought her mount near.
“Hey, pest,” Trent offered what was supposed to pass for a smile. “What are you doing out here?”
“Looking for you.”
“How’d you find me?” Trent was looking up at her now.
Amanda dropped to the ground beside him before answering.
“Cade said he thought you were out here.”
“Oh,” her brother was staring over the land again. “Did you want something?”
“Yes, I want to get out tonight, one last time before you leave and I have to start back to school,” she watched him for a moment. “Please?”
“I don’t know, Mandy. I’m not the best company right now.”
Amanda sighed and plucked a flowered weed from the ground. “Okay, I guess I’ll see if Cade can give me a ride into town; I’m sure I can find a ride home,” she kept her expression carefully neutral. She was waiting for her brother’s response; she wasn’t disappointed.
“The hell you will,” he turned to glare at her. “Not only do you have no business taking off out of here with Cade, but you are not about to run around town without a pre-appointed ride home with a trusted friend.”
“I can if Daddy says I can,” she countered.
“You think he’s going to let his only daughter run around with just anybody in town?”
“Sure, I’m smart enough to call him if I can’t find a safe ride home.”
“Number one, he wouldn’t let you leave here alone with Cade, two, he will immediately ask who’s bringing you home and where you’re going to be.”
“I guess I’ll go find out,” Amanda said as she stood and brushed off the seat of her shorts. She wasted no time in mounting and setting a good clip for home.
Cade met her at the barn doors and held Dandelion still while she swung down.
“What did he say?”
“He said no, but he’ll be along in a minute hot under the collar and ready to go,” Amanda predicted confidently.
“What did you do, Manny?” Cade was surveying her, a grin already pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“I told him I was going to get you to give me a ride into town and that I was certain I could find a ride home,” Amanda shared as she started loosening the straps on Dandelion’s saddle.
“That should do it,” Cade nodded and stepped in to grab the saddle before she could.
“That’s what I’m counting on,” Amanda grinned up at him. “Here he comes. If he asks, you’ve agreed to give me a ride. Thanks, Cade,” Amanda rose onto her toes and kissed his cheek before turning to leave.
“You know how to push his buttons don’t you?” Cade called after her.
“Be ready at six,” Amanda threw over her shoulder with a grin. “Hi, Steve,” she nodded to a hand who was entering the barn before she sprinted toward the house.
Eight
Amanda leaned close to her mirror and applied lip gloss before leaning back to survey her appearance. She had dressed in a pair of dark jean shorts, a fitted, capped sleeved black t-shirt, a wide western belt, and her boots before straightening her hair and applying her make-up. After giving her hair one final brush through, she grabbed her purse, the first she had ever owned, and flipped off her radio before stepping into the hall. She found her brother dressed and waiting.
“Hey, Trent, what are you doing?” Amanda stopped and frowned at him as though she were truly clueless.
“I’m going to town with you.”
“Oh, I’m glad you changed your mind,” she offered him a sweet smile.
“Let’s go,” he muttered. He stopped and frowned at her a moment. “Are you wearing make-up?”
“I am,” slightly amused at his obvious dismay, she nodded.
“You cut your hair!”
She had wondered if he was ever going to notice. Men were funny that way.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing! I like it this way; it’s much easier to care for. Now are we ready?”
Not waiting for an answer, Amanda started down the stairs.
“Hey, Daddy, I’m going to town with Trent and Cade,” Amanda entered the living room and dropped a kiss on her father’s cheek.
“Be safe and be back at a decent hour,” he ordered.
“We will,” she promised. “Love you.”
“Love you too, Pumpkin; have fun,” her father called after her.
Amanda exited the house and skipped down the front porch steps to where Cade was waiting.
“Hey, Trent, you decide to come along?” Cade queried as he opened the truck door for Amanda.
“Didn’t have much choice,” Trent was glowering at them both.
“Come on, Grumpy,” Amanda shot at her brother.
Trent climbed in beside his sister while Cade went around to the driver’s side. Trent didn’t say a word all the way into town.
“I’m not sure I can handle a big crowd,” Trent finally spoke when they pulled into the bowling alley parking lot.
“Come on, Trent, you can find a stool and glower at everyone; I for one want to have a little fun before summer is completely gone,” Amanda informed her brother as she scooted out after Cade. She rounded the truck and opened the passenger door, her expression softening at the pain in her brother’s eyes.
“I miss her too, Trent, but we’re still here and pretending we aren’t won’t bring her back,” Amanda laid her hand on her brother’s arm. He nodded and climbed from the truck, his expression; however, still said he would rather be elsewhere. Amanda led the way, Cade’s words to her brother floating to her on the air.
“Come on, let’s go keep your sister out of trouble; she seems determined to find some tonight.”
Her brother’s mirthless chuckle made Amanda smile. Inside, music blared from a juke box against one wall and competed with the crack and rumble of bowling balls hitting the lanes and then the pins. Conversations and laughter added to the Friday night cacophony. Amanda waved at several friends from school and made her way to the juke box to put on a few of her favorite songs.
“Well, we got him out of the house,” Cade offered as he leaned one arm on the side of the juke box.
“Now what?” she asked as she glanced to where Trent had stopped and stood staring at the crowd with disinterest.
“Don’t know.” Cade turned to lean against the juke box, his arms crossed over his chest. “He’s a moving statue.”
“Statues don’t move,” Amanda corrected.
“You know what I mean.”
Amanda moved to her brother and looped her arm through his. “Want to play pool with me and Cade?” she invited.
“I’ll watch,” Trent offered.
Amanda shot Cade and impatient shrug and continued to the tables. “You’ll have to help me, Trent; I’m still not very good at this,” Amanda reminded him. He had only taught her to
play rather recently.
“You’ll do fine,” Trent climbed onto a nearby stool, his attention on the bowling lanes, his gaze however, seemed fixed on someone in particular. As Cade set up the game, Amanda peered through the crowd before spotting Jenny Brown, Angela’s little sister, on a nearby lane. Jenny was a year older than Amanda and a year younger than Angela had been. Angela and Jenny were similar in looks, though Jenny’s hair was a deeper auburn and her eyes more hazel than green. In personality they differed. Angela hadn’t been shy but much more reserved and cautious than lively Jenny.
“You break,” Cade invited.
Trying not to let sadness over whelm her, Amanda pulled her gaze away from Jenny and lined up her shot. It didn’t take more than a few minutes to figure out that Cade was the better player.
“You’re not very good at this,” Cade accused.
“I know,” she grimaced. “I was counting on my brother to give me some pointers but…” Amanda raised her shoulder and let it drop in a helpless shrug. It was clear her brother was determined not to have a good time.
“Hey, Mandy,” Lacey greeted and glanced between her and Cade curiously as she passed with her boyfriend.
“Hi, Lacey; how’s Sam; I haven’t talked to her in a few days,” Amanda returned.
“She’s fine. See you around.”
“You too,” Amanda waved.
“Hey, Mandy,” Jenny called as she approached. Amanda turned and smiled. “I’m glad to see you here. How have you guys been doing?”
“Alright I guess. How about you guys?”
“It’s hard but Mom keeps reminding me that Angie would be the first to remind us all to keep on living. She’s right, Angie was that way,” Jenny’s smile was genuine; so were the tears she blinked back.
“Hey, Jenny,” Trent came to stand beside his sister. “How are you?”
“I’m okay, considering all, I really am, Trent. I hope you are too.”
“Not so well. Listen, I’m sorry…”
Jenny raised a hand. “You’ve said that already. Rehashing and rehashing it won’t do either of us any good.”
Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) Page 6