“Mommy, you are beautiful!” he laughed.
“I don’t feel very beautiful, buddy. I feel worn out and sad.”
Jacob leaned over my legs and set his head down on his mother’s. “Don’t be sad Mommy. Me and Daddy will take care of you.”
I felt upset, thinking about how I was going to walk away from them, in hopes of finding something else with a less complicated relationship. I was sick of coming home and worrying about what, if anything, she could be keeping from me. I needed someone I could trust and Heather wasn’t it.
After we were all up for a while, we headed out to the grocery store to buy everything that was needed for the wake that was going to be held at the church. Heather knew the congregation would bring dishes, but she insisted on making sure they had a nice spread. We had just walked into the store and got Jacob in a cart, when I heard Heather gasp. A guy, my height came walking toward her. Since she was from this town, I figured it was someone she knew from school. That was, until she said his name.
“Conner?”
Hmm, this was “the” Conner.
He smiled and stuck a box of cereal inside of a cart with a little girl sitting in it.
“Heather. I heard about your mother. It’s a damn shame. I didn’t know her long, but she was a kind lady. The kids liked it when she worked in the nursery durin’ service on Sundays.” His accent was annoying. I hated how girls got all giddy over that shit.
“Thanks. So, how is the family?” I could tell that she felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know how I felt about this guy.
It took Heather a long time to tell me about the events leading to when she got involved with my sperm donor father. The Conner part rubbed me the wrong way, not to mention that there was a whole lot of cheating going on. The way that it had been explained to me was that Conner used her to get information out of her for something she did to sabotage his sister’s marriage to that guy Tyler she’d been involved with. It all made my head spin really, but the idea of him using her pissed me off. No matter how rotten she may have been, I couldn’t see the logic in it.
Heather looked over at me and could sense my anger. “Conner, this is Jessie.”
He held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, man. So are you finally makin’ a honest girl out of her?”
I got ready to same something smart back to him, except Heather cut in. “We aren’t together. Jessie is just helping me take care of things.”
Conner creased his brow. “I better get this little one home. I forgot to bring a diaper and she weighs an extra five pounds.”
“It was good seeing you. Tell Amy I said hello.”
He was already walking away. “You should stop by the shop. My sister’s got the flu, so she won’t be there.” I watched him wink at her before he turned and walked down the next aisle.
Heather stayed quiet for the next few moments as she shopped. Jacob was busy playing with his handheld game, so he wasn’t noticing anything that was going on. “So, that was Conner?”
She nodded and grabbed a box of crackers off the shelf. “Yep. That was him.”
“He was weird. Didn’t you say he hated you?”
“He does. They all do, for obvious reasons. I told you all about it.” Heather wasn’t understanding me.
“He acted friendly. Isn’t he married to the woman that was married to my father? That is the same Conner, right?” I was thinking that I was confused.
“Yes, he’s married to Rick’s ex and yes, he’s the one that I… well you know the rest.”
I walked up close to her, so Jacob couldn’t hear. “He didn’t act like he hated you.”
“Trust me, they all do, especially his sister.”
I tried to think about the mangled mess of family that she’d explained to me. “His sister is Tyler’s wife, right?”
“Yes, and Amy’s best friend. Can we just finish shopping before I run into someone else? This whole town hates my guts. The sooner we take care of things the sooner we can get out of here.”
I dropped the subject and pushed the cart as she filled it. I could tell she was hurt by how the people in this town, especially the ones that were related to the Mitchell’s, felt about her. As sad as it was, I also wanted to know more about it. Once we loaded the groceries into the car, we stopped by the church and the funeral home to double check that everything was in order. Feeling satisfied, we set out for her mom’s house with our agenda planned out.
Heather was wired and determined to get through the day without a breakdown. I could see that she was keeping herself busy to avoid having time to sit down and think. Jacob was getting bored, so I decided to take him out and get a haircut. There was this place that I wanted to check out, without Heather being around.
It wasn’t hard to figure out where that girl Amy’s shop was, but I had no idea it was at her actual house.
When I pulled up out front, I recognized Conner right away. He was squirting a bunch of kids with a hose, while washing a John Deere mower. They were all running around screaming. Jacob took it as an invitation and jumped out of the car before I could say anything. Conner stopped squirting and looked right at him. “Hey, kiddo.”
“I’m Jacob.”
“That’s my name, except everybody calls me Jake!” A little boy, older than my Jacob, came walking over.
When I looked around, I saw he had a brother that was identical to him, a twin. Then it hit me. I finally understood why Heather didn’t want to use that name. Why she couldn’t tell me the truth, I had to know.
Conner approached me, breaking my stare on the kid. “You’re Jessie right?”
I reached out my hand and shook his. “Yeah, I uh, I came for a haircut, but I can see this is your house. We didn’t mean to intrude.”
He shook his head. “Amy’s shop is around the side. I had to take the sign down last week because my nephews shot it with pellets.” He looked over at the twins.
“Are they Tyler Mitchell’s boys?”
He laughed. “Can you see the resemblance?”
I shook my head. “No, I’ve never seen Tyler.”
“You ain’t missin’ much. My brother-in-law thinks he’s all that, but he doesn’t hold a candle to me.” I could tell he was joking, so I let out a laugh.
“You don’t mind me coming here, do you? Heather didn’t send me. Actually, I wanted to ask your wife some questions, if it’s alright with you?”
We started walking around the back. “I don’t complain when my wife gets new clients. I have to warn you though, if it’s about your father, she ain’t goin’ to want to go there. That part of her life is in the past and I’d appreciate it if we keep it that way. I get that you never knew him, but you have to understand he wasn’t a good man. My wife went through Hell and back.”
I put my hands up. “I’m not here about Rick. He’s never been my dad and I don’t need answers to prove that. You probably think I’m crazy, but Heather’s been through a lot, some of which she refuses to tell me about. I was hoping that your wife would be able to help me fill in the blanks.”
He cocked an eyebrow and scratched his head. “You want answers about Heather?”
“Yeah, I really do. I can’t keep living the way I am. I need closure and to know that moving on is the right thing to do. I want the damn truth for once.”
“I can do you one better.” He seemed to be intrigued that I was in the dark about some things.
“How so?”
“You go on in and get that haircut. Leave your number with me and I’ll call you tomorrow. If you really want the truth, I’ll let you hear all of it. My cousin is comin’ into town in a few hours, so I need to pick her up from the airport, but I will get back at you.” He looked over at Jacob. “He’s welcome to play out here until you’re finished. My niece will keep an eye on him.” He looked over at a girl playing with a phone, who was sitting on the porch. “Bells, can you make sure your brothers don’t give this kid any grief?”
The girl rolled her eyes but agr
eed.
“Ty’s daughter?” I asked.
“She’s his world, man. He would walk through fire for that kid, for all his kids, but she’s the princess.”
I shook his hand again and gave him my number. “Thanks again.” Honestly, from the way he acted, I could tell that I wasn’t going to like what they had to say, but if it helped me move on I was willing to hear them out.
Amy was sweeping some hair off of the floor when I walked in. I knew it had to be her, since she was the only one in the little salon. She looked up at me and smiled. “Can I help you?”
I ran my hands through my hair. “I was hoping to get a trim.”
“Sit down here and let me see what I can do.” She started playing with my hair, getting right to business. “Are you new in town?”
“Here for a funeral.” She spun my chair around and looked at me. “There’s only one funeral in town today.” When she noticed me crack a curious grin she explained. “It’s a small town and Conner reads the paper every morning with his coffee. He likes pretending he’s some old farmer, or something. Anyway, he told me and then someone from church called and let us know. So, were you related to Miss Kat?”
I sighed, knowing she was going to freak out. “I’m Je…”
“I know who you are. I was just hoping you weren’t.” She put down her scissors and looked right at me. “You’re Jessie. I can tell now, seeing the resemblance.”
I put up my hand. “I didn’t come here to talk about that man. He’s a stranger, and I can assure you, I have no interest in knowing anything about him.”
“So, you came here for a simple trim?” She didn’t seem like she believed that.
“I came here for answers and a trim. You see, I’m not with Heather. I mean, I’m here with her for support, but we are not together.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She picked up the scissors and started trimming my hair again.
“Why are you sorry? From what I know, you have a bunch of reasons to hate her.”
I could hear an air filled laugh. “Yeah, well I don’t feel the same way that my sister-in-law does. Granted, they went through a lot more than me. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for Heather saving my life. After that horrible day, I wiped the slate clean. That’s just my feelings though. My family has their own opinions about her.”
“She’s a good mother. I just feel like she’s a stranger to me. It’s like I don’t know the person that I had a relationship with.”
“Does she know you’re here?”
“No!”
She spun me around to face her again. “Look, I’ve had issues with Heather and some of her actions, but at the end of the day, I’ve watched a broken girl do drastic things out of desperation. Her biggest mistake was loving someone that didn’t love her back. She was so determined to change his mind that she did crazy things. She was also young and naïve. People can change.” She cut more of my hair while I remained silent. “I think you’re the person who made her want to be better.”
“That’s crazy. I was just a kid, being seduced by her lies.”
She sighed and stopped cutting again. “When Rick had me at gunpoint and was going to kill me, Heather saved me. We talked briefly, but she told me how she’d fallen in love with you. She wanted to be real with you. That’s the truth.”
“She had a terrible way of showing it then. Our relationship was built on lies, but thanks for telling me that.”
She finished cutting my hair and I stood up to grab my wallet. “No charge. It was good to finally meet you. I’ve wondered about you, but I never wanted to ask Krista about it.”
I smiled hearing my sister’s name. “She’s a pretty cool girl. I’m taking Jacob to visit her while I’m in town.”
“Jacob, huh? Do you know that…”
“Yeah, I just figured it out. Heather wouldn’t tell me why she didn’t want that name. I get it now.”
She just laughed. “I guess I’ll see you later today?”
Her question caught me off guard. Had she heard me talking to her husband? “Later?”
“Kat was a member of our church. I’m going to the funeral with my cousin. She’s a cancer survivor. She and her mother are flying in today for the service.”
Heather was going to shit a brick. I was taken back by how forgiving a family could be towards someone they once hated. It made me feel like a real asshole. “Amy, I better get going. Thanks for the haircut.”
We said our goodbyes and I pried my son away from the other kids. The whole time I was driving home, I reconsidered my feelings for Heather. Maybe she really had changed. Maybe it was time for me to learn to forgive her. If other people could forgive her, why couldn’t I?
Chapter 5
Heather
Jessie didn’t tell me where he’d taken Jacob, but I had too much to do to worry about the two of them. For all I knew he was visiting his sister. It wasn’t like he had to tell me his every move. We weren’t together anymore.
I’d finished getting all of the food prepared for the wake. My dress was ironed and hanging in the bedroom, along with my slip and underwear. I took my long hair out of the ponytail and walked into my bathroom. After getting the water just right, and removing my clothes, I stepped under the showerhead and closed my eyes. The spray of the warm water wet my body and I tried to stand there, relaxing the best I could.
I had plenty of time to just stand there and gather myself, so that’s what I did. I let the water wash away my falling tears. When I felt a hand touching my shoulder, I jumped and opened my eyes. Jessie was standing in the shower, he was naked and looking right into my eyes. “What are you doing?”
He wiped the water from my face. “Shh, don’t talk.” I felt his lips on mine and couldn’t argue with him. All I wanted was this. I wanted to feel his hands touching me, his mouth exploring my skin.
So I said nothing.
I let Jessie take total control. His kisses sent me back against the wall, while his hands held me close to his bare, wet chest. He was ravenous, taking his large hand and wrapping it around my neck, forcing me to look right into his eye. With his other hand, he reached between my legs, shoving a couple fingers inside of me. A low growl escaped his mouth while our tongues continued mingling.
I could feel his erection pressing against my stomach. It had been so long since we’d been like this. I needed him inside of me, filling me and making me feel like I meant something more than nothing to him. I wasn’t a fool, sex was sex, but in my mind, a moment with Jessie was different than any moment I spent with any other man.
Nobody ever looked at me the way he used to. They never touched me the way he did. They never said they loved me. He was the first. He was the only one.
I panted unable to fully conceive that this was really happening.
Tears fell down my face, but they weren’t from pain or suffering. For once, they were from joy. He removed his finger and lifted me up, pressing me back against the wall again. Jessie’s face was buried in my chest, where he suckled my nipples and bit them, making me cry out. He was being aggressive and I refused to fight him. Pain was pleasure, as far as I was concerned.
After adjusting he entered me. A smile formed on the corner of my mouth, just knowing he was inside of me again. His hands dug into my arms as he held me there, up in the air. I wrapped my legs around him, letting my feet sit just above his tight ass. My arms reached underneath his and I held on to the back of his shoulders with my fingernails dug deep into his skin.
His first thrust took my breath away, making me anxious for the next. Our skin slapped together from the water falling in between our close bodies. He pressed his mouth into mine, shoving my head back in the wall. I could feel the air leaving as he forced himself in and out of me, while holding the weight of my body. I used my legs to pump my hips. The way we were positioned was causing his hard cock to rub against my clit each time it moved in and out. The constant tingle created a fire between my legs, for
cing me to concentrate on keeping my legs wrapped around him. I was barely holding on, feeling the pressure of him infusing me with such force.
As his face pressed into mine, I licked his lips, pulling them with my teeth. A rush of elation overwhelmed me when my legs began to give from my own body losing control. I dug into his shoulders harder as I held onto the rapture that was upon me.
He tightened his body, forcing me still while closing his eyes and losing the ability to kiss me back. I could feel his cock throbbing as he released his load into me.
Jessie continued holding me, kissing me, as he caught his breath. As my feet came down, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my toes, kissing him slowly, leaving him with a thank you. I pressed my cheek against his as he held me there. “I love you.”
He didn’t answer back, but with his arms placed securely around my back, I was content enough. Being with Jessie again wasn’t just about sex for me. It was the emotional connection I got when he opened up to me that way.
He kissed me on the top of my head. “Jacob is going to be looking for us soon.”
My eyes got big and I jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and heading for the door. “Oh my God! Where is he?”
He started laughing as he tugged on the curtain, opening it for me to see him standing there, naked and half hard. “He’s fine. That show was on that he likes. I gave him a freezer pop and he didn’t even notice me walking away.”
I was relieved. “Shew!”
He climbed out and walked up to me again. “You’re beautiful.”
I could feel my skin getting red. Sure, there were times where I thought I was attractive, but when he said it, it meant so much more. “Are you going to tell me what brought this on?”
He pulled away. “Can we just not talk about us today?”
Losing Him (Mitchell Family Series Book 8) Page 3