The Vargas Cartel Trilogy: Books 1 - 3

by Lisa Cardiff

  He groaned under his breath. “Then why are you going?”

  “Because I want to see her.”

  “That’s a dumb reason.”

  “You asked a dumb question.”

  Chapter Four

  Hattie

  “Hattie,” my mom said the minute Evan and I walked into Senator Deveron’s home for our engagement party.

  She air-kissed my cheek, a frozen smile on her face. She looked as perfect and as icy as I remembered. Every strand of her blonde hair was immaculately groomedinto an elegant twist, highlighting her sharp cheekbones and the curve of her jaw. She wore an ivory tailored suit with subtle fringed trim, buttoned flap pockets, large jeweled buttons, and princess seams. She looked like the perfect politician’s wife. She was the perfect politician’s wife. Unfortunately, she was far from the perfect mother, or at least my idea of the perfect mother.

  Some small portion of me had believed my mom would behave like a normal parent after I returned from Mexico. Less than fifteen minutes into our first conversation, I realized nothing had changed. She truly subscribed to the notion that you shouldn’t let a crisis go to waste. She scolded me for going to Mexico, for breaking up with Evan, and for being abducted.

  “Mom. It’s nice to see you,” I said, taking a few anemic steps away from her.

  As my eyes drifted over the smiling faces of our family, friends, and business associates, I felt nothing. Not happiness. Not sadness. Just a complete lack of interest in everyone and everything around me.

  “Where’s Dad?”

  “He and Senator Deveron had a few things to discuss before the party gets into full swing. He should join us any minute.”

  I nodded absently as Evan slid his arm around my hips. As irrational as it sounded, I wished he’d stop touching me. Instead of saying anything, I leaned into him, pretending for the moment he meant something to me and I still loved him.

  I scanned the white flower arrangements advantageously placed all over the Deverons’ home. I hated white. If my mom or Evan’s mom had consulted me, I would’ve never picked white anything. After spending too many days staring at the white walls and floors at the Vargas Cartel compound, I hated the absence of color.

  If I had my choice, I would’ve selected red roses. Red seemed more appropriate given the circumstances of our engagement. Red was the color of blood, the color of anger, the color of sacrifice—and tonight marked the moment when I’d sacrifice everything.

  The future I wanted.

  My heart.

  My soul.

  My dreams.

  My dignity.

  All of it would evaporate into a pile of used up pixy dust the minute Evan announced our engagement, and I couldn’t even be mad at Evan. He wasn’t the one keeping secrets and living a lie. I fell in love with another man, but he didn’t want me enough to fight for me, for us. I may have looked fine on the outside, but on the inside I was bleeding and broken.

  Smiling, Evan handed me a glass of champagne from a small round table draped in white fabric. “Here they come now. My dad’s going to give a toast.”

  Senator Deveron lifted his glass into the air, and the low murmurs stopped as all eyes focused on him. His trademarked veneered grin slid into place, and he cleared his throat. “When Evan first brought Hattie to our house, my wife and I fell in love with her. She’s smart, beautiful, and kind. We knew she was the right woman for our son. So when Evan told us that Hattie agreed to marry him, we were thrilled. Evan, we are so proud of the adult you have become. With the love of your life at your side, nothing will be impossible. To Evan and Hattie.”

  Clapping, cheering, and congratulations floated through the air, and I felt disconnected from the moment. It didn’t seem real. Nobody acknowledged my abduction. Nobody cared about my mental withdrawal. My life kept moving day after day.

  My engagement party was planned.

  Evan selected my ring.

  Invitations were sent.

  A therapist was hired.

  My parents moved all my belongings into Evan’s house.

  Even my dress—an ivorysilk crepe dress with a blouson silhouette—was ordered and delivered to Evan’s townhome by my mom. It didn’t look like something I’d pick, but then again, neither was my life. Not anymore. I’d lost control of everything.

  “It’s bad luck not to take a drink,” Evan whispered next to my ear.

  Not making eye contact with him, I lifted the glass to my lips as my eyes scanned the room, but I didn’t take a sip. I didn’t know why. It was childish, but I considered it my final symbolic rebellion before I entered a loveless marriage. One I didn’t want. One I wouldn’t want no matter how many days passed.

  Suddenly, time froze. My muscles tensed the minute I saw him, Ryker Vargas. Just whispering his name inside the relative safety of my mind caused my heart to knock savagely against my breastbone. For a fraction of a second, I thought I was hallucinating, that my brain was playing vindictive tricks on me. My vision tunneled until all I could see was him, standing across the room—a wicked smile dancing at the corners of his lips, an island all to himself, sucking the energy out of the room. Our eyes locked and nobody existed except the two of us.

  I swayed on my feet, and I realized I hadn’t taken a breath in over thirty seconds. The shock of seeing him had sucked every last molecule of air from my lungs. Numb, the champagne glass slipped from my hand, and the bubbly liquid splashed on my legs and the top of my nude-colored heels.

  “Are you okay?” Evan whispered next to my ear as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. His mouth swept across the corner of my lips and my stomach churned with acid.

  I tugged at the suddenly too tight collar of my dress. “I don’t feel good. I need to sit down for a minute,” I said absently, my eyes anchored to Ryker’s in a silent battle. He looked exactly as I remembered, only better.

  A black suit hugged his muscular body, barely containing his broad shoulders. Rough stubble shadowed the rugged angles of his golden skin, and my fingers itched to trace the strong line of his jaw. His gray eyes were hooded, a knowing smirk on his face. With his legs crossed at his ankles, he relaxed against the wall in a way most people would mistake for languid elegance. I knew better. He was a predator ready to attack. Conquer. Take what he wanted.

  With his hand on my lower back, Evan guided me out of the room. I followed his cues for a few steps, then I froze mid-stride. “No. You stay here and talk with everyone. Both of us can’t leave the party. I’ll slip to your dad’s study and sit down for a few minutes.”

  “No. I’m not leaving you.” He squeezed my arm. His fingers were like daggers digging into my skin. On some level, he probably thought I’d disappear if he didn’t keep me close. Maybe I would.

  I twisted out of his grasp, and my legs moved rapidly, eating up the distance between the study and me. I didn’t know if I was running to or from Ryker, but I needed space. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Maybe less. Nobody will notice.”

  “Hattie, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  My stomach somersaulted. He was right. Being alone wasn’t a good idea, but neither was having a full-blown panic attack in the middle of our engagement party. I painted an overly bright smile on my face, and the corners of my lips protested their disuse. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled. Really smiled from joy or anything that made me happy.

  I pushed open one of the heavy double doors to his dad’s study. The hinge creaked. “I’ll be fine. If I’m not back in twenty minutes, you can come and get me.” I waved my hand in the direction of the camel-colored loveseat near the bay window. “I’ll be right there.”

  He scrubbed his hand down the side of his face, and then kissed my forehead. “Okay.”

  He turned around, and I watched until he disappeared around the corner. Then, I closed the door. When I heard the slow click of the door latch, my body sagged. Too many conflicting thoughts stumbled through my mind.

  Why was Ryker here?

&n
bsp; Did anyone know who he was?

  Did he come back for me? My heart rate spiked at the thought.

  Less than five minutes later, the door cracked open.

  “Evan, it hasn’t been twenty minutes,” I said without turning around.

  “Hattie?”

  My lungs contracted, and I rotated on my heel.

  “Ryker,” I said, my voice barely a whisper as I backpedaled. “What are you doing here?”

  His gray eyes glittered in the dim light as he stalked to me. Blood thundered through my veins, echoing in my ears. Every inch of my skin tingled with awareness. My nipples pebbled in anticipation of his touch.

  Oh shit. This was not good. I shook my head from side to side. My lips wobbled. I couldn’t let him touch me. If he did, I’d crumble like Humpty Dumpty. My razor-thin hold on sanity would vanish, and nothing could put me back together again.

  “I wanted to see you.” His velvet voice rolled over me like a caress.

  “No.” I folded my arms across my body like a shield, burrowing my fingernails into the flesh of my arms, striving to ground myself in reality. “You have to go. We agreed. You shouldn’t be here.”

  “We didn’t agree on anything.” With a faint smile on his face, he reached out his hand casually. Too casually. My heart pleaded with me to grab his hand, launch myself at him, and never let go. But I didn’t. Nothing good would come of this. We couldn’t be together.

  Like a broken record stuck on repeat, I continued shaking my head back and forth. “You told me to give Evan a second chance. That’s what I’m doing. If you haven’t noticed, that’s what tonight is about. This is my engagement party.” My voice trembled on the last word, showing a chink in my armor.

  He planted his hands on the wall beside my head, imprisoning me. “I noticed, but I changed my mind about us…about being with you.”

  His body slanted against mine until his lips were inches from my ear. I closed my eyes as his warm breath billowed along my neck, ruffling my hair. A shiver shot down my spine and goosebumps erupted on my arms. This was bad. Really bad.

  Confused and on the verge of crying, I inhaled, desperately trying to track down every last ounce of my wilting willpower, but I regretted it instantly. His spicy, sea-salt scent filled my lungs, intoxicating me, weakening my defenses. I wanted him.

  I opened my eyes, and he was close. Too close. I could see every individual eyelash and the charcoal rim around his irises. “You think it’s that easy? That you can just declare you changed your mind, and I’ll run back into your open arms?”

  His eyes raked over my body like a predator inspecting his prey. “I know it is. I can see it on your face. You still want me.” His lips playfully ran along the side of my neck, sucking on my pulse point, and I moaned. My brain took a leave of absence and my body went on autopilot. I unfolded my arms and looped them around his waist.

  I condemned the familiarity of his touch and the sensation of his body against mine to hell. Every slide of his lips against my neck was a pleasurable form of torture. I shouldn’t crave something so toxic to my sanity, but couldn’t resist him. I never could. Time hadn’t changed my reaction to him; it only made him more potent.

  The air around us crackled and buzzed with unrestrained lust. My body felt like it would go up in flames any second, even as my ego still wept from his dismissal almost four weeks ago. I was standing on the edge of the cliff waiting for him to tell me to jump.

  His hands bit into my hips, drawing me against him. Hip to hip. Chest to chest. Our lips only inches apart, my breathing quickened as I waited for him to make the next move. If he kissed me, claimed me, all bets were off. Everything would change. I didn’t think I could give him up again. I’d fight for him.

  “I missed you,” I whispered more to myself than him.

  Then, his lips crashed against mine, and I jumped into the rabbit hole of my destruction, surrendering to my inexhaustible weakness for him. I moaned as his tongue slipped through my parted lips. His hands tunneled into my hair, tilting my head back, demanding more, and I willingly gave him everything.

  His forbidden, familiar taste made me lightheaded. I wished—not for the first time—that I could take a vaccine and make myself immune to him.

  To his charm.

  To his smile.

  To his smell.

  Fuck…I missed his smell. Nobody smelled like him. It was even headier than I remembered. My senses whirled every time I inhaled. I felt as if I had tumbled head first into his bed.

  He groaned, and the sound ignited a frenzy inside of both of us. Static hummed in my ears. I didn’t care that we were in my fiancé’s childhood home celebrating my engagement to another man. We could’ve been in a room full of people for all I cared. My driving need for him made me delirious and impulsive. I buried my betrayal of Evan and our engagement deep in the convoluted chambers of my mind.

  I needed him. I needed this more than anything else. It had been too long. We staggered even closer to each other, and he braced his hand on the wall behind me to stop us from falling. I wanted to climb inside him and lay claim to his heart and soul, melding us together like two atoms in a nuclear fusion.

  Chapter Five

  Ryker

  Everything I led myself to believe over the last few weeks disintegrated into dust the moment I came face to face with Hattie Covington again. How could I keep my bearings around her when my feelings for her crippled my judgment?

  I planned to slip into the party and leave before she saw me. But the minute my eyes landed on her standing in front of the room, smiling prettily at Evan, their hands intertwined the slow burn of something resembling jealousy churned in my gut. At that instant, I knew I couldn’t walk away without talking to her, touching her, kissing her, claiming her. I wanted to beat my chest and scream she was mine, not Evan’s. That she’d never belong to him the way she belonged to me.

  I wasn’t accustomed to these messy emotions. The turmoil of a human psyche didn’t have a place in my life. In the short time I’d known her, Hattie had succeeded in messing with my head until right and wrong had flipped on its axis. She made me feel something I had no right to feel.

  “Hattie,” I groaned when her hands slipped beneath my suit jacket, roaming impatiently over the starched fabric of my shirt. Fucking hell. We didn’t have enough time to do everything I needed to do. The memory of the feel of her beneath me haunted me since I released her. I wanted to sling her over my shoulder and carry her out the front door. I had to be inside of her again. I needed to kiss, taste, and stroke every inch of her skin. The engagement party and the deal I made with Senator Deveron be damned.

  For some reason, I got it in my head that if I put enough time and distance between us, my need for her would disappear. It didn’t work. Far from it. Now that I held her in my arms again, I didn’t want to let her go.

  My hand traced the outline of her body until I reached the hem of her dress. Slowly, inch-by-inch, I slid the ivory, silky dress up her long legs. What I wouldn’t give to have her legs wrapped around me again.

  “Wait.” She jerked back, dropping her hands to her sides. “This is crazy.”

  “I know. We should stop.” Even as the words tumbled from my mouth, I slid my hand inside her panties barely an inch. There was something about claiming her right here and thumbing my nose in Senator Deveron’s face that made me want to ignore common sense. Ignore reality. Ignore consequences.

  She clamped her hand around my wrist. “No. I can’t do this. Not here. Evan will come back any second. You need to leave. I don’t know how I would explain this…you.” Her voice trailed off and her face paled, as if the reality of the moment just clicked into place.

  I snatched my hand away from her and inhaled a shuddering breath. My chest heaving, I spun around and shoved my hands into my pockets. She was right. This wasn’t the time or the place for this, but I hated Evan believing he had a claim on her. I facilitated that claim, but it didn’t make things any easier to stomach.


  “Are you okay?” Hattie rested her head against my back. “Are you mad?” Her small fingers toyed with the back of my hair.

  One simple touch and pleasure whistled down my spine. I wanted to be near her. I wanted her to care about me. I wanted her to love me even though I participated in the destruction of her life. I temporarily stole her freedom. I couldn’t delude myself. Hattie should hate me. I abducted her. I tricked her. I was still lying to her. She could never know the real reason she was selected as a pawn in the deadly game between Senator Deveron and the Vargas Cartel.

  As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, nothing had changed. Hattie and I could never be together. We were a house of cards. One soft breeze and we’d fall apart.

  “I’m fine,” I said, purposely not answering the second question because I was mad, but not at her. I was mad at myself for coming here, for participating in her abduction, for sending her home to Evan.

  “Do you love him?” I asked, even though I had no right to an answer.

  She sighed. “I don’t know how to answer that. It’s complicated.”

  I turned to face her and held my hand over her heart. “I want the real truth, not the truth you think I want to hear.”

  “I don’t—”

  Evan opened the door, pausing at the threshold. “Hattie?”

  I brushed my knuckles against hers, back and forth. Evan’s eyes locked on the transitory contact, and Hattie wrapped her arms around her torso, snatching her hand out of my reach.

  “Do you know Ry Fallon?” Evan asked, his brows scrunched together. Most likely, he couldn’t make sense of the current situation.

  As far as he and Senator Deveron knew, I was an acquaintance who had expressed interest in bundling campaign funds for the Senator. A bundler pooled contributions from several donors with the same goals to fund a campaign. This loophole in the campaign finance reform laws gave corporations and lobbyists the ability to buy political influence.

  Offering to bundle funds for the Senator was the perfect way to infiltrate his inner circle as Ry Fallon while doing my less than honest work as Ryker Vargas. My separate identities remained intact.