How are you two doing down here? Simon asked calmly, pouring four glasses of wine, and handing the first to Jeff, who looked as though he needed it very badly. He took it with a nod, and then sat down, far across the room from Allegra.
We're fine, she said between sobs, in answer to her father's question.
I'm not sure I believe you, he said, and Blaire went and sat next to her. She had the best suggestion anyone had made to them in months.
I think you two need to get away for the weekend. This may be your last chance before the wedding. She looked at Jeff. I think if they can spare you from the set for two days, you ought to try. He nodded, looking at her. Even he knew it was a wise suggestion.
I was sorry to hear about the show, he said sympathetically, and then glanced over at Allegra.
So am I, Mom, she said, and blew her nose again. No one had ever been as unfair to her as Jeff had just been. He said she was being rude about his mother, and she wasn't giving her father a chance, and it all seemed like the end of the world to Allegra. That and having to finish up everything on her desk, and get everything done before their wedding. It was almost inhuman.
Thank you, Blaire said quietly. She had done her share of crying that night too, but this was so much more real to her. She knew it wasn't serious, but it was their lives, not just a lot of pretend nonsense on television. Fortunately, she knew the difference.
I think your mom's right, Jeff said as he finished the wine. Maybe we need to get away for the weekend. Allegra wanted to tell him she wouldn't go anywhere with him, not after the things he'd said to her, but she didn't dare do that in front of her parents. Instead, she agreed to go away with him, to Santa Barbara, for just two days. At Simon's suggestion they were going to stay at San Ysidro.
It took another two hours, but they left finally, in separate cars, with their own thoughts and fears and regrets and terrors. Allegra thought about him all the way home, and how cold his mother had been to her. She thought of her own father too, and the anguish caused by him over the years, but she thought too of how different Simon had been, and how different Jeff was. None of it looked quite as monumental when she got back to Malibu and Jeff apologized for the things he'd said about her. He hadn't really meant to say most of those things, but he was so upset about what she'd said, and so wound up over the end of his movie. They said a thousand things to each other that night, but mostly they just lay in bed and talked, and laughed at how stupid they had been and apologized for the vicious things they'd said. When it was all said and done, they lay in each other's arms and slept, and in Bel Air, Simon and Blaire went to bed too, still awake and talking about them.
I'm not so sure I'd want to be that young again, Blaire whispered to Simon. They had talked about them for hours after they left, and how frantic both of them had been. It had been exhausting just watching and listening to them.
It might be fun to get that wound up and stomp around and scream. Allegra certainly got excited anyway. You never shouted at me like that. He looked amused and she laughed.
Is that a complaint? I could learn, I guess. I've got lots of time on my hands now. She still felt bad about that. She was going to miss her show so much, and she didn't know what to do now. She didn't want to just stay home and take care of her grandchild. She was fifty-five, and there was still plenty of life in her, but she no longer had a job, except for one last episode. She still couldn't believe it.
I had an idea tonight. I don't know what you'd think of it, he said pensively, as they lay side by side in the dark, comfortable again. The specter of Elizabeth Coleson had finally disappeared between them. He rolled over on his side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at her in the moonlight. I've been wanting to add a coproducer to my staff for a while. I'm tired of doing everything alone. I get all the glory, but it drives me crazy sometimes, and you're so much better on the creative details than I am. I'm better at the broad strokes. What do you say we try a collaboration on my next picture? Maybe Jeff's? What do you think of that? She thought about it and smiled at him.
What are we calling it? Family Business} She thought he was being charitable, or just kidding.
I'm serious. I've wanted to do something like that for years, but you never had the time. You're too good for television anyway. Why don't you at least try it? He loved the idea of working with her. They were a good team in many ways, and their professional skills were compatible. She was smiling at him, thinking about it.
We could try, I suppose. I don't have anything else to do. I'll be free in three weeks, right after Allegra's wedding. She actually liked the idea, and she kissed her husband to thank him.
Is the wedding still on, by the way? he teased. I didn't dare ask them before they left.
I hope so, Blaire said with a sigh, as she lay down again. She liked the idea of working with Simon.
So what do you think? He was prodding her for an answer.
I'll have to call my agent, she said coyly, and he laughed.
You Hollywood types, you're all the same. Go ahead, call your agent. I'm calling my attorney. He chuckled and kissed her on the neck, and she snuggled closer to him. For a day that had been disastrous for a while, it had taken a definite turn by the end of it. She was still sad to lose her show, but the idea of a partnership with Simon had a lot of appeal to her. She wanted to talk to Allegra about it in the morning. And when she turned to Simon again, he was sound asleep. It was very late, and they'd had a long night, and a lot of excitement. She smiled to herself, looking at him. He was such a good man, and after all the pain he'd caused her in the past year, she felt as though she'd found him again, and maybe some of the pain had been worth it.
Chapter 21
Allegra thought that her parents working together was a great idea, particularly on her husband's movie.
Talk about keeping it in the family, she said, and laughed. Can I have a starring role? she teased her mother.
She talked about it after she and Jeff got back from San Ysidro, and by then everything had calmed down with them again. Everything had returned to normal, as normal as it was going to be with her wedding in six days. As Delilah Williams said, the final countdown had started.
The dress had come, the hats had finally arrived, the veil had been made. And the landscape gardener swore that the garden would be finished by the weekend.
Both of Allegra's bridesmaids who were coming from out of town were arriving in two days, one from London, the other from New York. Jeff's mother was arriving the day after that, and staying at the Bel Air. And worse yet, her father was arriving on Friday.
Do you think we'll survive it, Mom? she asked her mother, looking terrified. She was trying to finish out the week at work, and Jeff was wrapping his movie on Wednesday. It was all very tightly scheduled, and poised like a house of cards. She had even sold her house, and the closing was in two days. And wherever she looked, there were a thousand details.
After her bridesmaids arrived on Tuesday night, they were having a last-minute fitting of the dresses on Wednesday morning and any necessary adjustments could be made. But Nancy and Jessica had willingly supplied their sizes, and there was no reason to think there would be a problem.
I'm so scared, Allegra whispered to Blaire as she visited her on Monday night. Jeff was working late, and she had come to see Sam and the baby.
Of what, sweetheart? Her mother was trying to calm her.
Of everything. What if it doesn't work, like you and ' you know ' Charles ' ? Her original father. She refused to call him Daddy.
It can happen, but those circumstances were very unusual and I was much younger than you are when we got married. You and Jeff are a lot smarter than we were and you're going to be just fine. I know it. They were intelligent and young, and they had entered into it with much thought. Dr. Green felt really good about the way Allegra was handling all her old fears and feelings. But there were still no guarantees, they could lose their jobs, their lives, their limbs, their children
could die, as her mother's had, their life's dreams could be shattered by a bolt of lightning at any moment. There are no guarantees in life. You just have to do your best, and be there for each other no matter what, Blaire said wisely, as she smiled at Allegra.
Yeah, and never run out of Haagen-Dazs or frozen pizza, Sam added her marital advice. Feeding Jimmy was like keeping the Green Bay Packers supplied, but she had never been as happy in her life, and they were loving the baby. He was asleep in her arms, and he nursed all the time. He was a month old and he weighed twelve pounds. And Sam looked as though she had been born for the life that she was leading. She loved being with Jimmy all the time, and he was wonderful at helping her with the baby. His little sisters came to visit them all the time, and they played in the Steinbergs' backyard. All of a sudden, Blaire felt as though she had a house full of children. It was like turning the clock back for her, except that in a nice way, it also wasn't. She and Simon had their own life, and they were free for the first time in years, except when they wanted to see Jimmy and Sam, or Allegra came by, or Scott came back from Stanford, which was rare now. They had time for each other; they were making plans for their new collaboration as soon as she did her last show. They were even talking about going to Europe for a while before his next movie. It was the most time they'd had for each other in years, and Simon really enjoyed it. He even came home for lunch now sometimes, and they seemed to spend more time in bed than they ever had when they were younger.
Maybe getting old isn't so bad, Blaire had teased him only that morning, as he pulled her out of the shower and dragged her back to bed to make love, complaining that she had gotten up too fast that morning. She had still been dripping wet, and her hair was piled on top of her head. He had left for the office afterward, half an hour late for an appointment.
But they were at the end, or getting closer to it. Allegra and Jeff were all the way at the beginning, like Jimmy and Sam, when love was still young, and there were mountains to be climbed, before children, before real life, before victories and defeats, and all the things that make you who you are. In some ways Blaire envied them; in other ways she didn't. She had already been there, and she liked the valleys now. The mountains had gotten just a little bit too rugged.
Just relax and try to get through this week, was the best advice Blaire could give her. This is probably the hardest part.
I'm glad I didn't have to do all this stuff. Sam laughed, putting Matthew back on her breast again, and gently touching his velvety cheek with her finger. But Blaire was still sorry that Sam had missed it. She had skipped right over the window dressing, and gone for the brass ring. But for the moment, it looked like she had a good hold on it. And poor Allegra was still riding the carousel, and her head was spinning.
Both of her bridesmaids called her when they got in on Tuesday night. They were both staying at the Bel Air, and Allegra had had Alice send flowers to their rooms, and magazines and chocolates. Their dresses were hanging in the closet, waiting for them, along with beige lace shoes in the sizes that Allegra had been given. Absolutely every last detail was in order.
Allegra was meeting them for lunch at the hotel on Wednesday with the fitter. She had booked an enormous suite and she was going to bring Sam. Carmen was meeting them there for her fitting too. And Allegra had to go to the title company before that to sign papers for the sale of her house. It was truly a whirlwind week. She was dizzy from all that she was trying to accomplish.
The best part of it was that she hadn't seen Nancy Towers in five years, when she moved to New York and then to London, or Jessica Farnsworth since law school. It had been a long time, but they had been dear friends, and it meant something to her to have them take part in her wedding.
When Allegra got to the hotel with Sam, she was helping her carry Matthew's bag, and a swing that would keep him happy while they tried on their dresses and had lunch. Allegra had reserved a big suite so they'd have privacy and could get everything done. The hairdresser wanted to meet them too, and he was bringing the makeup artist with him, and there were going to be a few informal pictures.
Blaire had decided not to come. She said she didn't want to intrude on the younger women. And no amount of arguing with her would persuade her, even though Delilah Williams said she really had to come. She wanted to meet all the girls, not just one or two of them, and see how divine they looked in their pretty dresses. Allegra had made such a good choice with the beige lace, and since they obviously all had such good figures, the fitting wasn't going to be a problem.
But, evidently, the gods had been drinking that day. When Sam and Allegra arrived, first the suite wasn't ready, and then it started to rain. They got soaked as they ran past the swans, trying to juggle all of Matthew's belongings and entertainment. Carmen was already there waiting for them. She was drinking Coke, nibbling on a box of chocolates, and talking to her agent on the phone. She was swinging one long leg over the other in a legendary pose, but as soon as she stood up, Allegra knew they were going to have a problem. She hadn't seen Carmen in a month, and she was only two and a half months' pregnant, but Allegra thought she must be having twins. She had doubled the size of her waist, and her hips were even bigger than that. She had to be wearing a size twelve dress. Allegra cringed, remembering the size of the dress they had ordered for her.
What happened to you? Allegra said in an undertone. They were good enough friends that she could be honest. How much weight have you gained?
Twenty pounds, Carmen said without a blink. Thank God, we finished the movie.
How could you gain so much so fast? Sam only gained twenty-five the whole time, Allegra scolded. There was no way they were going to get her into the dress. They'd have to leave it open and have her whole behind hanging out, and there certainly seemed to be a lot of that. She was going to be very sorry later. But she was so happy to be pregnant again, she was doing nothing but staying home and sleeping and eating.
Your sister is only ten years old, she hissed back. No wonder she weighs eighty pounds.
She has a little self-control, Allegra clucked, and then they all sat around and admired Matthew.
In the end, Sam tried her dress on first, and she had actually lost weight since before she got pregnant. She was five nine and weighed a hundred and twelve pounds, and the zipper started up at full speed, and then stopped halfway up her back, and it was easy to see why. Nobody had taken into account the fact that she was nursing.
What size bra are you wearing these days? Allegra asked, looking panicked.
Thirty-eight D, she said proudly.
Oh, my God, do they make them that size? her sister asked, and Carmen rolled her eyes.
I can hardly wait, Carmen said cheerfully.
Didn't it occur to you that maybe you should tell me? Allegra asked her sister. You went from a thirty-two A to a thirty-eight D and you didn't think it would make any difference?
I forgot. Sam apologized, but the fitter said she could take enough fabric from elsewhere to make up for it. Carmen's was another matter. They frantically called Valentino, and they said they had one more dress, in a size fourteen. Would that be too large?
I'm afraid not, Allegra said with a sigh of relief, ready to kill Carmen. Two down, and two to go, and with that, Nancy Towers arrived, all excited to see her again. Nancy had gotten married and divorced, was thinking of moving back to New York, was trying to start a magazine, had dyed her hair, and then dyed it back, and had been having an affair with a divine man in Munich. She had a very international life, and Allegra was exhausted by the time she'd heard it all, or most of it, and there always seemed to be more. But there was also more of her than there had once been. She had claimed to wear a four, and was more like a ten now. She had gotten a little bit roly-poly. But the dress Carmen had outgrown could be altered to fit her, and they were saved once again from the jaws of disaster.
I don't think my nerves are going to hold out, Allegra said as she sat down and looked at Sam.
Relax,
you're going to be fine, her suddenly mature sister said calmly as she held her baby.
You sound just like Mom. Allegra smiled, thinking she even looked like Blaire, and she leaned over and kissed her. You're a good kid. Did I ever tell you that? She'd felt closer to her ever since the birth of the baby.
Not lately, but I figured it out. You're a pretty terrific older sister. And then she lowered her voice. But your friends are getting a little fat. The two sisters laughed, and then Jessica arrived, but no one had warned Allegra of how much her life had changed in the past five or six years. She arrived wearing short hair, no makeup, and a beautiful Armani suit she had bought in Milan. She worked in publishing, but she had a lot of friends in fashion, and she had a spare, austere look that was very fashionable in Europe and on the East Coast, but there was more to it than that. There was a quality about Jessica that had never been there before, and Allegra couldn't help noticing that Jessica had glanced with particular interest at Carmen. And then, as she looked at her more carefully, Allegra realized what had changed since they last met. She was openly gay now, when for years she had been in the closet.
Jessica, now Jess, talked about her lover over lunch. She talked about her life, and the fact that she felt that the lesbian movement had gained momentum in the West, but not enough in the East. Carmen just stared at her and told her there were no lesbians in Portland.
Well, there sure are in London, Nancy said, laughing. She laughed at everything and everyone. She had a great time wherever she was, even if she did drink a little too much. But she was the life of the party.
Have you ever had a homosexual experience? Jess asked Nancy casually, and Nancy paused, thinking about it, while Carmen blushed, and Sam looked pointedly at her older sister, who was trying to remain calm. She was convinced now that she was never going to survive her wedding.
the Wedding (2000) Page 38