by Beverly Rae
Aunt Matilda let out a heavy sigh, resignation covering her features. “I want to, but I don’t know. If I failed, I’d never forgive myself. And I doubt your sisters will agree to this.”
“Please, Auntie. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Allie swallowed the fear threatening to clog her throat and straightened her back just like she steeled her resolve. “I’m going to do this, with or without my sisters.”
“Like hell you will.” Hilly burst into the room, followed by Meg. “Now you listen to me, Allison Tristan, and do as I tell you.”
Allie stood, hands on her hips, ready to do battle. “No! You listen to me for once. This is my decision to make and not yours. Hilly, Meg, I love you more than I can ever say, but now’s the time for me to stand on my own two feet.”
“You don’t know what you’re getting into, Allie.”
Stepping between her two sisters, Meg pleaded with them. “Now hold up and take a breath, everyone. In fact, let’s all take a moment to calm down.”
“Calming down won’t change my mind. I’m doing the transformation whether you like it or not.”
“You don’t know that it’ll even work, Allie.” Hilly’s anger was gone, replaced by the fear marring her features. “Aunt Matilda, tell her you won’t do it.”
“She doesn’t have to. Allie, I won’t let you do this.” Tom sat in the chair and tugged Allie into the chair in front of him. She tried to argue but he placed his fingers over her mouth. “Please hear me out. When we first talked about this, I had no idea it would be so risky.”
She pushed his hand away. “But I have to do this. If I don’t, then what kind of life can we have together? Don’t you still want me?”
He grew more serious than she’d ever seen him. “I want you more than I could ever have believed I’d want anyone. That’s why I won’t put you in harm’s way.” Taking her face in his hands, he placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever known, but you’re more than that. In the short time we’ve had together, I’ve grown to love you. Allie, as much as I want your body, I want your spirit and your heart more.”
Allie forgot the women standing around them. All she dreamed of was right before her. “And I want you in the same ways. But I also want to give you a real life together, one that includes making love. I have to do this, Tom, as much for myself as for you.”
“But I don’t care if we never have sex. Having you in my life is enough and I don’t want to chance losing you. Give us the time we need, Allie. Don’t risk it all before we’ve even begun.”
He’d give up a normal sex life for her? Did he love her that much? “You’d stay with me even if we could never make love?”
“Of course I would. Sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship. Love is.”
Yet Allie knew what she had to do. If he could give her all his love, then she could give him the same. She squeezed his hand, then let it go and stroked his hair. “Tom, I love you. But if you refuse to let me do this, if you refuse to stick by me no matter what happens, then we’re over.”
“What? What are you saying?” His face drained of color. “You can’t mean that.”
She’d stunned him, torn at him, but this hurt was less than the hurt he’d suffer in a life void of physical contact. “I’m saying that either we have a full, rich life together, including sex, or we have no life together at all.” She stood, pulling away from his hold, and turned to Aunt Matilda. “Can we do the transformation right now?”
“Allie, no.”
Meg wrapped her arms around Hilly, holding her upright, as though her sister had suddenly lost the strength to stand. “I guess that means it’s up to you, Auntie.”
The older woman regarded Allie, not giving any clues to her decision. If her aunt wouldn’t help her, who could she turn to? How would she find another witch as powerful and as wise as her aunt?
Aunt Matilda heaved a great sigh. “When your mother came to me and asked me to help her change, I told her no. But she kept coming back, bringing your father with her and, at last, she made me see the love that was between them. Your relationship is new and just getting started, but, God help me, I think she’d want me to give you the same chance that she had.”
Allie’s heart pounded in her chest, taking a little of her breath away with each beat. “Does that mean you’ll change me?”
The great witch tightened the ribbon around her ponytail. “I will. But it won’t be easy, sweetie. The pain is unimaginable.”
Allie’s determination grew stronger. “Living without Tom is unimaginable.”
“Very well then. We have a transformation to do.” Aunt Matilda turned to her sister. “Meg, how are you at transformation spells?”
“I’m not good, Aunt Matilda, but I do okay.” Meg settled Hilly onto the edge of the bed. “What do you need me to do?”
“No, Aunt Matilda. No,” moaned Hilly.
Tom came to Allie, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and sensed The Hunger rising like a dreaded enemy to the surface. No. No more. I will not feed again.
“Well, I do have my spell book with me. I mean, what witch worth her cauldron doesn’t carry her book with her? But I don’t have one of the other two ingredients I’ll need for the transformation.”
“Tell me what you need in detail and I’ll get it for you.” Allie grabbed a pad and pencil from the nightstand. “Okay, shoot.”
“Oh, there’s no need for a list, sweetie. First I need some seeds.”
“Seeds?” asked Meg and Allie in unison.
“Yes. Seeds. Which, as luck would have it, are my favorite snack.” Aunt Matilda rummaged through the top drawer of the dresser and pulled out a large sack. “I can’t live without my daily snack of sunflower seeds.”
“Great. Then what’s the second ingredient?” If her aunt told her she needed an elephant, Allie would steal one from the zoo. Whatever it took, she’d do it. Yet, as determined as she was, she couldn’t ignore the inkling of fear working its way into her.
“The second thing isn’t really an ingredient. It’s a candle. A very large white candle.”
“Whew. I think we can find a large white candle fairly easily, don’t you, Meg?”
“Now hold on a sec. Not any ordinary candle will do. The candle—” Aunt Matilda paused until everyone’s attention locked onto her, “—has to have a golden triskele engraved on it.”
“What’s a triskele?” Tom’s warm breath fluttered Allie’s hair, renewing her desire for him.
Taking the pad and pencil from Allie, the older woman drew the symbol, then held it up for everyone to see. “A triskele is the Celtic symbol of life and rebirth.”
Could she find a candle with that symbol? Allie frowned, unwilling to let doubt cloud her optimism. “It might take a little time, but I’ll find it.”
“Maybe you won’t have to.” Meg sat next to Hilly and took her hands. “Hilly, could you become the candle?”
“No!” Hilly jerked her hands away. “I can’t help her destroy herself. Maybe I can’t stop her, but I won’t help her, either.”
“Look, sis, I don’t want her to do this any more than you do, but she’s determined, and you know how she is when she’s made up her mind.” Meg grinned, taking her sister’s chin to make Hilly look at her. “She kind of takes after her you that way.”
Hilly’s worried gaze met Allie’s.
“Please, Hilly. Do this for me.”
“No, I can’t. I won’t.”
Allie couldn’t blame her sister. Not when she knew how upset she was. But she wouldn’t let her sister’s unwillingness to help stop her, either. “Auntie, can the spell be performed without the candle? Or with an ordinary one with the symbol drawn on it?”
“It could, but I’d hate to do the spell without the proper candle. The transformation would be even more dangerous.”
“I don’t care. I saw candles in the gift shop we passed. I’ll get one and draw a triskele on it with a magic marker
.” Allie glanced at each person, daring them to challenge her. “One way or another, I’m going to do this and do it now. Everyone, stay put while I buy a candle.”
She’d taken only a few steps before Hilly stopped her. “No. Wait. I’ll change into the candle.” Her weak smile drifted over to Aunt Matilda. “Just make sure you don’t burn too much of the wick. I like my hair the way it is.”
The last doubt left Allie, confident now that both her sisters were on her side. “Thank you, Hilly.”
“Okay, then. Let’s get this show on the road. Everyone, follow me.” Scooping up the bag of sunflower seeds, a small bottle and a rectangular electronic device, Aunt Matilda led the way out of the room.
“But, Auntie, where’s your spell book?”
Aunt Matilda waved the device at Meg. “Right here. Don’t you have your spell book on an eBook reader yet? No one uses the old print books anymore.”
Meg shrugged. “I guess I’m old-fashioned that way.”
Allie took Tom’s hand and followed her aunt and sisters to the park across the street.
“Allie, I know I told you I’d help, but I have to ask one last time. Won’t you please change your mind?”
Allie squinted at Hilly as the sun’s setting rays formed a soft glow around her sister. She sighed. She was more than ready to go ahead with the transformation. If her mother could survive the spell, then so could she.
“I’m sorry, but I have to. How can you ask me to give up love now that I’ve found it? Please, Hilly, don’t ask me to.”
“I can ask because I don’t want to lose you.”
Allie wiped the tear from her sister’s cheek. “I know. But I have to believe that this is what’s meant to happen. This is what I want and I’m asking you to support me. With everyone’s support—” she waved at Meg, who was listening intently to Aunt Matilda’s instructions, “—I know nothing bad can happen.”
Aunt Matilda took a deep breath, placed her hands palm to palm, closed her eyes and murmured words too softly for Allie to hear. A minute later, she opened her eyes and nodded in a satisfied way. “Okay, everyone. We’re in luck. This is the best time of day for a transformation. Sweetie, come and stand beside me.”
Tom pulled her into his arms for a kiss that was filled with hope, worry and trust. “I love you, Allie.”
“I love you, too.” She laughed and wiped her lipstick from his mouth. “I’m so glad we found each other.”
“Yeah.” He shot a rueful look at Hilly, who had the decency to cast her gaze to the ground, then centered his attention on Allie. “We found each other and wouldn’t let go.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then stood beside her aunt. She took in a couple of deep breaths and prepared herself. “Okay, I’m ready. Tell me what to do.”
“All you have to do is stand still.” Aunt Matilda ripped open the sack of seeds and scattered them in a circle around her. Finished, she handed the sack to Meg, then zeroed her intense gaze at her. “The transformation spell doesn’t look like anything to those of us on the outside of the circle. But on the inside, where the real change happens, it’ll feel as though the devil himself is ripping you apart. The pain will be unlike anything you’ve ever imagined. The heat, the burn, will make you think your flesh is dissolving, falling off your skin in shreds. But remember, Allie. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, do not leave the circle. If you try, you’ll be lost.”
The apprehension she’d fought to keep at bay rushed into her, almost breaking her determination. She’d never dealt with pain very well. Could she handle this? Yet when Tom’s gaze met hers, she knew she could handle any kind of agony to stay with him.
“I won’t, Auntie.” Clasping her hands in front of her, she sought out her oldest sister. Hilly stood next to her aunt, her body slumped, worry etched in the lines of her face. “Hilly, I need you. I need both your talent and your strength.”
Hilly gave a slight nod. “Should I change now?”
Aunt Matilda took a step away from Hilly. “Yes, go ahead and change. But make certain that you don’t change back until I tell you to. If you do, then at best the spell won’t work.”
Allie swallowed, the knot in her throat going down hard. “And the worst-case scenario?”
“At the worst, the transformation will set your spirit free from this earth.”
“You mean she’ll die. No, Allie, I can’t do this. I can’t face losing you. It’s too big a risk.”
Tom started toward Allie, but she raised her hand, halting him. She couldn’t stop now. “Please, Tom, stay strong. For me and for us.”
He started to argue, then changed his mind and closed his mouth. “Remember. No matter what, I love you.”
Allie smiled. How could she fail when she had so much to gain? “Go on, Hilly.”
Hilly lifted her chin, regaining the strength Allie knew was always inside her sister. “Here I go.”
Seconds later, a large white candle with a golden triskele rested beside Aunt Matilda.
“Holy shit,” exclaimed Tom. “Allie told me what her sisters were, what they can do, but I guess I didn’t believe. Not until now, that is.”
“Believe.” Following Aunt Matilda’s instructions, Meg snapped her fingers, lighting the wick.
Aunt Matilda paced around the circle and Allie, and began chanting. A wall shot up from the seeds, forming a gauzy substance that ebbed and flowed around her. She tried to reach out and touch the barrier, but she couldn’t move her arms. She was paralyzed, unable to move or speak.
Fear gripped her, for the first time making her reconsider her decision. Yet when she saw how Tom watched her, waited for her, she knew she had to hold on. He’d had the faith and love to give her this chance, and she wouldn’t fail him. He was worth whatever the spell did to her. Determined to live her life with him, fully and completely, she gritted her teeth and forced the fear away.
Her aunt’s chanting grew louder, yet Allie didn’t recognize the language. Immediately, heat rose inside her, flaming brighter than her succubus need had ever burned. Flames leapt from her feet, coiling around her like a snake of fire. The scorching of her skin sent a scream to fill her throat, but it could move no farther. Would she burn to death before the change took place?
A ringing in her ears threatened to burst her eardrums, and along with the sound came the internal pain. Agony seared through her, moving outward from the middle of her torso to send sharp daggers to every part of her body. A heat, alive in its intensity, scorched her internally, threatening to liquefy her alive. The Hunger inside roared in anger.
She moaned soundlessly as tiny fissures opened up inside her, splitting her apart from the inside out. Her stomach roiled and bile rushed to her mouth, but she couldn’t open wide to let it spill forth. Instead she endured, a captive of her own body.
Unable to close her eyes, Allie stared straight ahead and watched the world around her disappear in a fog of pain. The last thing she saw was Tom watching her as Aunt Matilda and Meg paced around the circle. His mouth moved, but she couldn’t understand the words. Would she ever hear his voice again?
Tom. I’m still here. Oh, Tom, it hurts so much.
Why didn’t they seem upset? Couldn’t they see the torture she was in? Or was the gauzy wall hiding their view?
The fire spiraling around her slid over her face, burning her lips, her eyes, her skin. Acrid smoke filled her lungs, permeating the entire length of her. She was melting, her body disintegrating into a pool of ash. Was this what dying felt like?
Chapter Eleven
“Allie, are you all right? Please, baby, talk to me.”
“Sweetie, tell them you’re all right. You made it through.”
“Wake up, Allie. Stop scaring Hilly and me.”
Allie fought to open her eyes. She breathed in, delighting in the flow of fresh air into her lungs. Someone cradled her head while others took her hands and rubbed her feet.
“I thought you said
she was fine. I thought you said this was over.”
Tom. His voice was harsher, more strained than she’d ever heard it. She had to open her eyes, if only to make sure he wasn’t in trouble.
“Allison Tristan, you’re freaking me out.”
I’m freaking Meg out. Allie grinned and yet she knew the smile didn’t reach her lips.
“Back away, everyone, and give the potion time to work. Give her some air.”
Aunt Matilda. Still in charge. Allie sensed that all but one of them moved away. The one holding her head stayed, stroking her hair, murmuring soft words of love.
“Please, Allie, wake up. Do it for me.”
She’d do anything for him. Had, in fact, done the hardest thing of all for him. And for her. What was one little thing like opening her eyes compared to that? And yet, her eyelids refuse to obey her command.
“Please, tell me she’ll be all right.”
Tom again. But why does he sound so afraid?
“She’s breathing now.” Matilda’s voice was strained, yet hopeful. “I think we got the potion to her in time. She’ll be as good as new in a few minutes.”
In time? Allie wanted to speak to them, to tell them she was all right. I’m tired. Just very tired. She tried again, sensing she had to do more, and forced her body to respond.
“Wait. I think I saw her eyelashes move.”
Tom again. My Tom. Allie opened her eyes to find his face gazing down at her. She blinked, making her eyes stay open even as the weight of them tried to drag them down, especially when the fear in his face eased and was replaced by a tentative smile.
“Hey, baby. You had us worried.”
Hilly knelt beside her and took her hand. Her features looked haggard as though she’d suffered a great strain. “Oh, Allie, we almost lost you.”
But how would they have lost her? Her mind, still fuzzy, cleared a bit more. She croaked out an answer, then took the sip of water he offered.
“Don’t talk. Just rest.”
Suddenly, the memory of what she’d experienced rushed back to her and she gasped, reaching to feel her body. Her clothes weren’t scorched and her skin was intact. In fact, nothing had changed. It was as though she’d never gone through the transformation.