by Sarah Morgan
Logan’s house was attached to the surgery and opened onto a huge garden crowded with mature apple trees.
Fresh from the shower after a busy clinic, Kyla pushed open the back gate and walked straight into the kitchen without knocking.
‘Oh!’ Evanna was standing in front of the range, stirring something in a pot. Her dark hair was caught up in a ponytail, her cheeks were pink from the heat and she was wearing a loose white dress that was summery and pretty. ‘You’re early. Can you pass me the coriander, please?’
‘Coriander?’ Kyla glanced along the work surface in confusion. ‘Is that this green, weedy-looking stuff?’ She picked it up, sniffed and handed it to Evanna. ‘If we’re early, you can blame Ethan’s car. You should see it. All black and very growly. Very high testosterone rating.’ She peered over Evanna’s shoulder into the pot. ‘Is that our dinner? It looks nice, but nothing like barbecued seafood. Did you lose the recipe?’
‘It’s chicken soup, and it’s for Kirsty who hasn’t woken up yet from her nap. Logan is hopeless with routine. He keeps waking her up for a cuddle.’ Evanna swiftly chopped the coriander, sprinkled it on the soup and glanced at her friend, a curious look in her eyes. ‘So I notice you’re calling the new doctor Ethan now? Getting friendly, are you?’
Kyla grinned. ‘No. Not yet. But I could probably be persuaded. You should have seen him running along the beach earlier. I thought my heart was going to stop. What a body! Not that you notice things like that.’
‘I’m not blind, Kyla,’ Evanna said mildly as she stirred the soup slowly. ‘I do know a handsome man when I see one, and Ethan is certainly very good looking.’
‘But?’ Kyla leaned forward and dipped a spoon in the soup, tasting it cautiously. ‘There’s a definite “but” coming. This soup is good. Can I take some for lunch tomorrow?’
‘There’s more to a man than looks, Kyla.’ Evanna gently slapped the back of her hand. ‘Leave the soup alone. It’s for Kirsty.’
‘I’m the royal taster. And there’s plenty more to Ethan than looks.’
Evanna frowned. ‘That’s what worries me. There are dark corners there. And mystery.’
‘Dark corners? Mystery?’ Kyla dropped the spoon in the sink, laughing to hide the effect that Evanna’s words had had on her. ‘You’ve been reading too many Celtic legends. Your imagination is in sprint mode. Spotted any fire-breathing dragons on your rounds?’
Evanna didn’t smile. ‘You can laugh, but I’m right. That man has secrets, Kyla.’
Kyla felt cold fingers of unease stroke her nerve endings. ‘What sort of secrets?’
‘If I knew that, they wouldn’t be secrets, would they? But I don’t think they’re good ones.’ Evanna stopped stirring and her pretty face was serious. ‘There’s something about him,’ she said softly, glancing over her shoulder to check that they were on their own. ‘Can’t you feel it? A hardness. He’s tough—a bit intimidating. I don’t know…’ She gave a shrug, obviously wishing she’d never said anything. ‘Something’s happened in his life, I’m sure of it. Something that he’s living with every day of his life. He has issues.’
‘Well, things have happened in our lives, too,’ Kyla reminded her, trying to shake off the black, threatening cloud that hovered over her happiness, ‘and we’re living with them. We all have issues, Evanna.’
‘That’s true. Just be careful, that’s all. I don’t want to see you hurt by a man.’
‘Wouldn’t be the first time.’
Her friend looked at her and her expression softened. ‘You haven’t fallen for anyone since that rat, Mike Robinson, hoisted his sails and left for the mainland. It’s time you found someone. I’m just not sure it should be Ethan. Is there something going on there or is it just wishful imagining on your part?’
‘I’m not imagining the chemistry. I keep thinking we’re going to burn the cottage down every time we look at each other.’ Kyla chewed her lip thoughtfully. ‘I just have a feeling he isn’t very pleased about it. He’s fighting it.’
‘Probably because he knows he’s only here for the summer,’ Evanna said briskly. ‘Thank goodness one of you is sensible.’
‘Well, it isn’t me,’ Kyla said lightly. ‘You know I always pick the unsuitable. And what about you? Talking of issues, you’re wearing a white dress to feed my niece chicken soup. A strange choice from where I’m standing, knowing what I do about Kirsty’s aim. You’re going to have serious stain issues.’
Evanna’s colour deepened. ‘I happen to like this dress.’
‘So you should. It suits you. It’s nice to see you in something other than jeans.’ Kyla opened the drawer, fished out a spoon and dipped it into the soup. ‘My brother will probably like it, too. Which, I’m guessing, was the intention.’
Evanna gave a wry smile. ‘Your brother wouldn’t notice me if I stripped naked in front of him and danced a tango.’
Kyla tasted the soup again. ‘I’ve come to the sad conclusion that my brother is obviously thick. One day I’m going to tease him about it. But not before I’ve eaten his seafood. My stomach always comes before sibling conflict.’
‘You mustn’t mention it.’ Evanna gave a faint frown. ‘And to call him thick is just ridiculous when you know just how clever he is. It’s just that he can only think of Catherine. And that’s normal, of course,’ she added hastily, emptying the soup into a blender and securing the lid. ‘She was his wife. He loved her.’
Kyla waited for the noise of the blender to cease before she spoke. ‘Yes, I think he did. But that doesn’t mean he can’t love again.’
Evanna’s eyes met hers. ‘It isn’t going to happen, Kyla. Please stop talking about it.’
Kyla leaned forward and gave her friend a hug. ‘Give him time. Be patient.’ She glanced up as Ethan strolled into the room and suddenly found herself unable to breathe.
‘Logan has the barbecue going.’ His voice was a smooth, cultured drawl. ‘He wants to know what the pair of you are doing in here.’
‘We’re hugging. As friends should. Our Dr Walker isn’t much of a hugger,’ Kyla drawled, releasing Evanna and trying not to stare at Ethan. But it was hard to look away.
On the short car journey from their cottages, she hadn’t had a chance to look at him, but she saw now that he’d showered and shaved and changed into a pair of black jeans and a casual shirt that clung to the muscles of his shoulders. Kyla felt her stomach flip and suddenly discovered that her fingers were shaking. She turned, dropped the spoon into the sink to hide her burning cheeks and gave herself a sharp talking-to. Evanna was right. She knew perfectly well that Ethan was complicated. But he was the only man who had ever made her want to sit down in case her legs gave way. It was pretty hard to ignore that degree of chemistry.
‘We’ll just get the prawns out of the fridge,’ she mumbled, crossing the kitchen and tugging open the door. Maybe cold air would help. Plates of fresh seafood confronted her and she lifted them out and handed them to Ethan. ‘Take these out. We’ll follow with the salad.’
‘You go out, Kyla.’ Evanna poured some of the liquid soup into a bowl. ‘I’ll fetch Kirsty and join you in the garden.’
Logan and Ethan immediately started talking about what had happened with Aisla, and Kyla stared at the pile of uncooked food with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.
‘Logan, could you cook and then talk? If someone doesn’t feed me soon, my blood sugar will do something dramatic,’ she said in a conversational tone, and her brother lifted an eyebrow in mockery.
‘Is there something wrong with your arms? What’s stopping you putting food on the barbecue?’
‘Possibly the memory of the stomachache I gave everyone last time I cooked.’
‘Good point.’ Logan grinned and she gave him a gentle push.
‘Start cooking or none of us will be eating before midnight. Aisla is fine. And she’s Ethan’s patient now.’
‘She’s coming to see me at the surgery so that I can check her properly and we can talk. I’ll
cook.’ Ethan stepped forward and picked up the plate. Soon he was placing food on the barbecue with swift efficiency and Kyla watched in admiration.
‘You cook?’
He sent her an easy smile that had her heart racing. ‘When I have time, I cook.’
Evanna was wrong, Kyla thought to herself, relaxing slightly. He didn’t have demons. He was just naturally reserved. And here, in their garden, she could see him unwind.
Her theory lasted for as long as it took Kirsty to lift the baby out of her crib and bring her downstairs.
‘You have to stop letting her sleep so late, Logan,’ Evanna scolded gently as she cuddled the wriggling toddler against her body. ‘She needs a routine.’
‘So do I,’ Logan said dryly, snapping the top off a bottle of beer. ‘Would someone mind telling our patients? I need a regular bedtime and regular meals. I can’t function like this. It gives me indigestion.’
‘I’m serious, Logan,’ Evanna said. ‘She’s really hard to settle in the evenings because she doesn’t know whether she’s supposed to be awake or asleep.’
Logan sighed and reached out his arms for his daughter. ‘Routine is overrated,’ he said roughly, as he buried his face in the little girl’s blonde curls. ‘If she goes to bed early then there are some nights when I don’t see her, and I don’t want that. I need cuddles.’
Kyla’s heart shifted as she saw the two of them together and suddenly she found she had a lump in her throat. He’s a good father, she thought to herself, and she knew from the soft expression in her friend’s eyes that Evanna was thinking the same thing.
Then she looked at Ethan and something in his eyes caught her attention.
She saw shock, pain and desolation so huge that it almost hurt to watch.
And he was staring at the baby.
‘I offered her some of my home-made soup,’ Evanna was saying as she pulled faces at the little girl, drawing smiles of delight, ‘but she wasn’t interested.’
Had no one else noticed? Kyla wondered as she moved instinctively towards Ethan. Had no one else noticed the grim set of his mouth or the fact that his entire body was unnaturally still? It was as if he were afraid to move.
Did he hate babies? Had he lost a baby? What could possibly have happened in his life to trigger that sort of reaction?
Her mind sifted through options and came up with nothing concrete.
Perhaps she was just being dramatic. He was single after all. It was perfectly possible that he just didn’t like babies.
‘She doesn’t need soup, she needs attention. Give your daddy a cuddle,’ Logan drawled in a soft voice, and the little girl gurgled with delight and lifted her hand to pull his hair.
‘Ow—you have got to stop doing that, sweet pea, or Daddy is going to be bald and that is not a “good look”, as your Aunty Kyla would say.’ Logan wrapped his daughter’s tiny fist in his hand and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek. ‘Pull someone else’s hair. Kyla has plenty.’
‘Ethan?’ Kyla moved over to Ethan’s side and touched his arm. ‘Are you all right?’
It was a moment before he even noticed she was there. ‘Of course.’ His voice was flat. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘I don’t know. You just seem—’
‘Tired,’ he supplied, his gaze cool as he turned to look at her. ‘It’s been a long day and it was a long night before that. I probably should have made my excuses and had an early night instead of accepting the invitation.’
Was that what was wrong? He was tired?
Kyla glanced towards her niece and then back at him, searching for clues. She wanted to ask a question but she had no idea which words would lead her to the right answer. Why would the sight of a strange baby affect him so badly? It didn’t make sense. ‘She’s sweet, isn’t she?’
There was a long silence and Ethan’s knuckles were white as he gripped the bottle of beer. ‘I don’t know much about babies,’ he said hoarsely, lifting the bottle to his lips and drinking deeply, ‘but I’m sure she’s very sweet.’
He was a loner, Kyla reminded herself. A man who clearly had no experience of family. It was perfectly natural that he wouldn’t be comfortable with babies. But somehow none of her reasoning made her feel better and Evanna’s words of warning rang in her head.
‘I had a call from the Infirmary on the mainland,’ Logan said, strolling across to them. ‘Doug’s doing well. They’re going to keep him in for a few more days, review his drugs and then send him back.’
‘We’re going to have to add him to our cardiac rehab list,’ Kyla said, her eyes still on Ethan. ‘We need to try and get him to take some exercise. Evanna runs a class at the community centre once a week. When he’s recovered, I’ll talk to him about it.’
‘It’s Leslie who is going to need the support.’ Logan winced as Kirsty grabbed another hunk of hair. ‘She rang me from the hospital with loads of questions.’
‘Don’t they answer questions in hospital?’
Logan gave a laugh. ‘She doesn’t trust them. She wanted to hear it from me.’
Kyla rolled her eyes. ‘What’s it like to enjoy such godlike status?’
‘Exhausting. Leslie is coming back over tomorrow to check on Andrea. She’s staying with a schoolfriend but obviously she was pretty upset about the whole thing and worried about her dad. Those prawns are done, Ethan. There’s a plate there and some of Evanna’s lemon mayonnaise on the side. Help yourself.’
‘Bit of a handful, our Andrea, by all accounts.’ Kyla reached for a plate and held it while Ethan removed the prawns from the barbecue.
The tension in his body had lessened and Kyla watched as he shelled prawns and drank beer, chatting to Logan and occasionally tending the barbecue.
Had it been her imagination?
Maybe. Certainly he seemed fine now and he even handed Kirsty some bread to chew.
‘I had Sonia Davies from the library in my antenatal clinic today,’ Evanna said, speaking directly to Logan. ‘She really wants a home birth.’
The smile faded from Logan’s face. ‘I won’t do home births,’ he said gruffly, ‘you know that. Don’t even bother asking me.’
Evanna bit her lip. ‘It’s her second baby and she’s—’
‘I won’t do home births.’
‘Logan, she isn’t—’
‘She can go to the community maternity unit on the mainland. It has all the advantages of home births, with none of the risks. This is an island, Evanna. I know you’ll tell me that if something happens she can be transferred, but will it be fast enough? We do wonders here, but we have to be realistic. I can’t provide neonatal intensive care and neither can I perform uterine surgery on a woman with an uncontrollable haemorrhage.’ His tone harsh, Logan turned away and helped himself to another beer. Evanna glanced helplessly at Kyla, who gave a brief shake of her head to indicate that she should drop the subject.
They both knew what was behind Logan’s intransigence. Catherine.
Feeling awful for him, Kyla strolled over to her brother and put a hand on his arm. ‘Mum rang last night.’ She kept her tone neutral. Steady. ‘She’s thinking of coming back over for Dad’s birthday and spending a few days with her grandchild. They’re missing her terribly. They loved the last set of photos you sent, especially the one of her sitting in the laundry basket.’
He was silent for a moment and then he breathed out heavily and she saw his shoulders relax. ‘It would be good if they came. Kirsty loves to see them.’
‘Mum’s worried she’s missing all the best bits.’ Kyla gave his arm a gentle squeeze and then let go and helped herself to a baby tomato. ‘I just hope she’s here when Kirsty takes her first steps or we’ll never hear the last of it.’
Logan’s eyes settled on hers and she smiled gently, watching as some of the strain left his face. ‘I’m all right,’ he said roughly in Gaelic, and she gave a brief nod and replied in the same language.
‘I know you’re all right.’
And then she turned an
d caught Ethan looking at them, a curious expression on his handsome face.
He was a complex character, she thought as she strolled back over to Evanna. Deep. A real thinker. But that didn’t mean anything was wrong.
She thought back to the way he’d looked when he’d first seen Kirsty.
It had just been her imagination working overtime, Kyla decided, her face brightening as one of her aunts arrived along with two of her cousins. She’d spent too long listening to Evanna’s gloomy observations.
Ethan was a serious person, there was little doubt about that.
Some people were.
That didn’t mean he had demons.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE next two weeks passed so quickly that it seemed to Kyla that they hardly had time to breathe between patients.
Doug McDonald came home from hospital, very subdued and worried about doing anything, and Kyla called in every day to check on his progress and reassure him. She knew that Ethan had called several times, too, and was pleased that he’d bothered.
Two weeks had been enough to prove to her that he was an excellent doctor. He’d settled into the routine and seemed to have no problem handling even the trickiest of cases. Remembering how some previous locums had panicked at being confronted by such complex cases with no local hospital support, Kyla was impressed.
But she still didn’t feel she was any closer to knowing or understanding him.
He ran on the beach every morning as the sun rose, pounding hard across the sand and up onto the cliffs, pushing himself to the limit. Then he’d return to the cottage, shower and drive up to the village in time for morning surgery.
He was serious and committed but revealed absolutely nothing about himself to anyone.
Occasionally he joined her and Logan for supper and sometimes she saw him on his own in the garden, sitting on his own, staring out to sea.
Perhaps that was what came of living in a big anonymous city where you were one of millions, Kyla thought. You forgot how to relate to your fellow man.
She was clearing up after an immunisation clinic when Janet buzzed through and asked if she’d see an extra patient.