Inked Chaos

by Grace, M. J.

  Drunkenly peering at my watch, I frown and squint as I try to read the dial, before following her and catching her by the arm.

  “Jen, it’s late, we have to be up in five hours to make our flight.”

  She stands unsteadily in front of me with a frown on her face, trying in her drunken way to give me the evil eye, thinking it will make me change my mind, but I’m not shifting. It’s time to make a move. The other girls join us and agree with me, so Jen finally concedes defeat and we stagger towards the exit.

  It has to be said, that the walk back to our rooms is hysterically funny. Not one of us can walk in a straight line, and we are very loud, as we laugh uncontrollably.

  It takes me several attempts to coerce Jen into bed, due to her protesting that she isn’t in the least bit tired. Until finally, after threatening to hit the mini bar, she slumps onto her bed and collapses backwards. By the time I have taken her shoes off, she is out for the count. I don’t even bother trying to undress her. I just pull the covers over her, strip off and slump into my own bed, make-up intact and all.

  *****

  The flight home isn’t a pleasant one, as we all have horrific hangovers. None of us had been able to face breakfast, so we also feel nauseous. It’s a relief when we finally land at LAX and know we were going to shortly be home.

  As the guys weren’t going to be back until the following evening, we have arranged that I will stay with Jen until tomorrow. So on arriving back at Jens, we both hit the kitchen searching for food and drinks. After fixing ourselves a sandwich, accompanied by a large glass of cool lemonade, we head into the snug and turn on the TV; deciding to spend the afternoon having a chick flick extravaganza. We plan to slob out and watch girlie films all afternoon, that’s if we manage to stay awake.

  The TV flicks into life and Jen starts to flick through the channels searching for a movie. As the pictures flick over one after the other, I am sure I see an item about AJ and Razor and ask Jen to flip back to it, laughing that we’ll discover what they had been up to while they were away.

  I soon wish I hadn’t. For the article isn’t about Razor, just AJ. Well, they mention Razor, saying that they are in New York for his stag party, but the focus is on AJ; and the focus on AJ is because there he is and standing next to him is Melody Forrester, and he has his arm around her shoulders. Oh, the reporter is very forthcoming, saying that even though it was a stag party weekend, AJ has still found time to date old flame Melody Forrester, and he wonders if new flame Jorgi Morgan knows about it.

  Well yeah, I do now. I feel my eyes fill up, and blink quickly trying to dispel the tears before Jen notices, as I watch the scenes unfold across the screen.

  Oh the pain, never have I felt such pain. My chest feels so tight, like an elastic band pulled to capacity about to twang and break. Then I notice that he’s wearing the T-shirt I gave him just before he left. The T-shirt he said he loved, and would remind him of me every time he wore it. Well, that didn’t last long did it?

  I didn’t think the pain could become worse; I was wrong. Standing quickly, the plate I had on my lap falls to the floor and shatters, and I stare at it wryly. Just like my heart, shattered and lying on the floor.

  “Boo, I’m sure there’s an explanation. Let me phone Razor and find out what’s happening.” Jen says quietly.

  “No!” I snap. The tears now freely flowing down my cheeks. “No Jen, I know you mean well, but look at them. God! I’m so stupid! What did I expect? That little old me, Jorgi Morgan, would be enough for him. God! I’m a lunatic.” I say sarcastically as I move towards the door, grabbing my bag as I go.

  “Where are you going? Boo please, stay here and let me try and discover what’s going on. I’m sure there will be a good reason Boo, I can’t believe he would see her romantically.”

  “You can’t eh? Open your eyes Jen. Look at that.” I cry, pointing to the television. Seeing her distressed expression, I take a deep breath and try to compose myself.

  “Jen, what you and Razor have is so special. That doesn’t mean that everyone’s relationship is the same. I stupidly believed that’s what AJ and I have, but I was obviously wrong. I’m sorry, but I want to go home; please, will you call me a taxi?

  Jen knows me too well to try to talk me out of it. Nodding her head, she grabs her phone.

  “Don’t bother with a taxi Boo, I’ll just ring through to security.”

  “No. Please Jen, just call a taxi. No security. No AJ connections.”

  Shaking her head, Jen does as I request, but I can tell by her expression that she doesn’t approve of my decision.

  “Please Jen, don’t ring Razor. Let me get my head around this, and work out what I’m going to do. I need time to think.”

  “Okay, but you only have until later tonight. Then I’m calling him.”

  “Deal.” I say and try to smile, but fail miserably.

  Leaving my suitcase at Jens, I hear the taxi arrive and take my leave. Jen gives me a hard hug, and once again makes me promise to call her, which I agree to do. Knowing that I will probably break that promise.

  The taxi pulls away and I give her a little wave, as we leave.

  “Where to miss.” The driver asks.

  I don’t know where to go. I didn’t think this through and acted on impulse. I can’t go back to the house, it would be too painful. So I ask him to take me to Griffith Park, with the intention of just finding myself a quiet spot to sit and think.

  It doesn’t take long to travel there, and I start to rifle through my bag for my purse to pay the fee, my hands stilling, as I come across my passport instead. I had forgotten I still had it; I sit there for a couple of minutes just staring at it.

  “Miss? Miss are you okay?” the driver asks worriedly.

  “Yes, change of plan.” I state taking a deep breath. “Will you take me to the airport please?” I ask. On the spur of the moment deciding to fly to New York.

  I know which hotel AJ is staying at, I even know his suite number. I can’t hang around until he comes home. I need to speak to him face to face as soon as possible, and find out about that report. Yes, there may be a reasonable explanation, or there may not be. Either way, I need to find out.

  Arriving at the airport, I learn there is just over a two hour wait before the next flight to New York, which means with the flight time it will be very late when I arrive. Oh well, it’s still better than waiting over twenty-four hours until he would have arrived home. So I take a seat and wait for my flight.

  Checking my phone, I see a missed call from Jen, but I also see one from AJ. Ignoring his, I call Jen, and put her mind at ease. I lie and inform her that I am in the park just sitting, thinking things through. I hate to lie to her, but if she knew what I was about to do, she would only try to persuade me to change my mind.

  She says AJ has called her looking for me, but she has told him I had gone home for a nap and that I had probably turned my phone off. I hate her lying for me, but I am also grateful, because it’s giving me more time to think things through before speaking to him.

  I say goodbye and tell her I will call her later, and I will. It will just be later than she thinks.

  Eventually, I hear my flight being called, so I turn off my phone and head towards the departure gate. This is going to be one hell of a long flight in more ways than one.

  *****

  I can see the bright lights of New York as we descend. I have tried to sleep during the flight, but failed miserably, resulting in me feeling irritable, tired and downright fed up.

  I’ve had time to contemplate the situation, and I have become calmer. My mind has flipped between going to see him, or just booking into a hotel and flying back to LA in the morning. One moment I feel it was a mistake to come, the next I’m telling myself I did the right thing. I’m so confused, and tired; I just feel that I can’t think rationally anymore. However, after much soul searching, I know I won’t be content until I have seen and spoken to him.

  After making my way throu
gh security, I leave the airport terminal and hail one of the distinctive yellow taxis. Giving the driver the name of the hotel, I sit back and watch as New York flies past the windows. The closer we travel to the hotel, the faster my heart races, and I’m starting to get the jitters. I’ve never been a confrontational person. In the past, I would have just slunk away to hide in my hole and keep myself safe from hurt, but I just can’t do that anymore.

  The taxi pulls up in front of the hotel, and as I pay the driver, I peer through the window, carefully checking, to see if I can see any press. The last thing I want, is my arrival plastered all over the tabloids.

  As the coast seems to be clear, I jump out and all but run into the lobby of the hotel. Locating the lifts, I head straight towards them and impatiently press the call button several times. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to arrive, and I enter and press the button for the required floor.

  When the doors open, I’m shocked to discover the corridor is empty. Most unusual. Where’s Tiny or one of the other security crew? There’s usually someone in attendance at all times.

  After wandering along the corridor, it doesn’t take me long to establish which is the door to AJs suite. Taking a deep breath, tentatively I knock a couple of times, and wait patiently.

  After a few moments, I look at my watch and see that it’s after two a.m. He could be asleep or maybe they are out partying, and that’s why there’s no security detail standing guard in the corridor. Knocking once more with two raps on the door, I decide that if I receive no answer this time, I will head down to reception and request a room for the night.

  Just as I decide to give up, and start to turn away from the door, it opens and I come face to face with my nemesis. Yep, there’s Melody Forrester, wearing one of AJ’s T-shirts, a sly smile and by the looks of it not much else. Her hair is all tousled, and it’s obvious that I have just woken her up.

  It takes a couple of moments to calm myself, before pushing past her, I enter the suite.

  “Come in why don’t you.” She mutters sarcastically.

  I don’t want to speak to her. What I want to do is rip her head off, and throw it up the wall. Because of this I daren’t touch her. If I do I will probably end up in jail for assault.

  Noticing the bedroom door is ajar, I walk over to it and gently push it open. Taking a step inside, through the shadows I can see AJ lying in the bed. Looking around me, I locate the light switch, and reaching over my hand, flip it on illuminating the room.

  “What the fuck?” AJ exclaims, as he sits up in bed squinting his eyes. Quickly taking in the scene before him, his eyes swing to me.

  “Baby, it’s not what you think.” He entreats as he scrambles out of bed in his underwear.

  “Really? So tell me AJ, why is she in your room, and bed at this time of night? Oh, let me guess, you’re having a slumber party.” I snap sarcastically.

  “Jorgi.” Melody calls, and I turn to find her standing right behind me.

  “Don’t.” I hiss. “Don’t you even say my fucking name?” I snap, pointing my finger up close to her nose.

  Turning back to face AJ, I raise an eyebrow questioningly, whilst wrapping my arms protectively around myself.

  Glancing around the room, I can see that as usual, AJ has left his clothes where they landed.

  “Birdie, let me explain.” He begs advancing towards me, forcing my gaze back to his. “Please it’s truly not what you think.”

  “Really, so tell me AJ what am I thinking?”

  “Please baby, I had to see her.”

  “You had to see her?” I whisper. His words like a sharp knife slicing into me. Flinching, the pain almost a physical blow, I stumble a step backwards towards the door.

  Why am I putting myself through this? I should have just walked away.

  Seeing the expression on my face and my reaction AJ quickly reaches out a hand to me.

  “God, Birdie, please, I didn’t mean it like that. Please come and sit down and I will explain everything.”

  I stand and stare at him, the pain of his betrayal is too much. I gave him everything I had that was me. I trusted him so much. He has determinedly chipped away until he demolished my defensive wall, only to subsequently betray me. All the times he has requested that I tell him the truth, and be honest with him, but he didn’t have the decency to offer me the same courtesy. The feeling of betrayal is all consuming, taking my breath from me, leaving me gasping for air. My eyes swim with tears, and I no longer try to control them, but let them flow down my cheeks unheeded.

  Raising a shaking hand, I brush my hair off my face, and make the decision to leave. I can’t do this, it hurts too much. I raise my hands in surrender, and look at him.

  “I’m done AJ. I’m done.” And I turn to walk out of the room.

  “NO!” He shouts. “Please Birdie. Please don’t do this, give me a chance to defend myself.” He pleads.

  His eyes are bright with tears, and it breaks my heart that even now, he can lie about his emotions so convincingly.

  “I can’t.” I cry, shaking my head. “You don’t know what you’ve done AJ. You just don’t know what you’ve done.” And I walk to the door, stopping when I’m level with the woman, who has brought about this whole sorry and sad affair. I look at her as she stares back at me, unflinching with no sign of emotion. Before I know what I’m doing, I slap her hard across her face, with enough force to send her head sideways. She cups her hand to her face and stares at me. I wait, but she doesn’t speak or retaliate, and with a final look between them, I rush out and leave them to it.

  By the time I reach the door out to the corridor, my tears are out of control, and a sob escapes. I hear AJ calling me and swearing when I don’t respond, but I ignore him and run towards the lift. It takes just a few steps, before I notice Tiny is standing sentry. As I press the button, he takes one look at me and starts to walk towards me, concern written all over his face.

  “Don’t.” I sob holding up a defensive hand.

  He stops and looks over my shoulder, and as I turn to see what caught his eye, I see AJ running towards me, hastily doing up his jeans as he runs.

  “Come on!” I whisper as I press the call button, over and over again in frustration.

  Hearing the ping of its arrival, I glance over my shoulder again and see AJ is almost upon me; I quickly step inside and turn to face Tiny, waiting for the doors to close.

  “Jorgi?” Tiny calls.

  I just shake my head at him, and try to smile, to put him at ease. As the doors start to close, I hear AJ call my name and shout to Tiny, ordering him to stop me.

  Too late, I think to myself, much too late.

  On reaching the lobby of the hotel, I ask the doorman to hail me a taxi. I keep looking behind me, expecting either AJ or Tiny or both to appear any minute. However, it seems luck is on my side and a taxi pulls up. Climbing in, I have no idea where I’m going. I can’t face another flight tonight, so I ask the driver to take me to a hotel. He gapes at me like I’m a mad woman, for haven’t I just left one, but does as I ask anyway.

  *****

  Checking into a hotel by Times Square, I enter my room and collapse onto the bed. My mind runs over the last hour or so, and I finally let myself give in to the tears that I held at bay whist in the taxi. Great uncontrollable sobs escape me. I am inconsolable, my body shaking with the overpowering agony I am feeling. Wrapping my arms around myself in a protective hug, I cry until my eyes finally run dry. The last thing I remember before falling into an exhausted sleep, is the expression on AJs face as I walked away.

  CHAPTER 19

  It’s been a tough couple of weeks. The morning after I confronted AJ, I had phoned Jen and told her what had happened. She had been more than mad with me for flying to New York, and even madder with AJ when I had told her what I had discovered at the hotel.

  I arranged for a flight back to LA. Worried that AJ would discover which flight I was on, I’d journeyed back to LA in a state of nervous tension.


  Whilst I was transit, Jen went to AJ’s and packed up all my belongings, and took them back to her house. I refused to stay with her, as she had enough to do with organising the wedding, without me moping around the place. I also didn’t want AJ to know where I was. So I booked into a hotel, and when Jen met me from the airport with my things, I checked in, and stayed there until the wedding day arrived. Jen wasn’t happy, but she knew I wasn’t going to relent, and so gave up trying to persuade me to change my mind.

  Jen and I have communicated mainly via telephone over the last two weeks. I didn’t want to run into AJ at her house, so we decided it was the safest option.

  According to Jen, AJ had been frantic when he had arrived home and discovered me gone. What did he think I was going to do? Wait around? I don’t think so.

  There was also a tricky moment, when on one occasion, Jen had been on the phone to me, when AJ and Razor had walked into the room. AJ had realised I was on the phone, and demanded to speak to me. Unwilling to cause a scene, Jen had passed him the phone.

  “Birdie, baby please come home, let me explain.” AJ pleaded.

  I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t, my eyes were full of tears and my heart in my throat.

  “Birdie. Please talk to me. If you won’t come home, let me come to you. It wasn’t what you think.”

  Again, I didn’t reply. I could hear the angst in his voice, but I couldn’t speak. If I’d tried I’d have been a sobbing wreck.

  “You’re not going to speak to me are you? Oh God, please at least let me know you’re safe. Are you safe Birdie?” He asks, desperation in his voice.

  “Yes, I’m safe.” I’d whispered. I couldn’t have spoken any louder if I’d tried. I’d then hung up, unable to listen to his voice a moment longer, before bursting into tears.

  The next time I had spoken to Jen, she informed me that as soon as I had hung up, AJ had thrown the phone against the wall smashing it into pieces, before sitting down, with his head in his hands. She had left the room, giving him and Razor, some privacy.