Stop thinking like that.
I shook my head and showed Evaleen into my office.
“Oh my God, you have so many books.” Her hand fluttered over the wall of books on the left side of the room.
“Yeah, sort of my library slash office. I like to read when I’m not working.”
Evaleen turned to me, her eyes trailing my body. I couldn’t tell if that was heat or confusion lighting up her features.
I moved toward her, taking her hand. Bracing for her withdrawal, I was surprised when she relaxed into my grip and let me guide her. Evaleen took my office chair while I leaned over my desk and opened my laptop.
“Here is the document I got from my investigator.”
As Evaleen inclined toward the desk, her hair brushed my cheek. That was another thing that helped awaken my dick, her hair. Normally Evaleen had her hair pinned back in a twist or bun, but she must have taken it down when she met up with her friends.
All I wanted to do was run my fingers through it, maybe tug a bit as she sucked on my cock.
Focus, Edgar.
I couldn’t focus. Not when her sweet spring scent invaded my nose. It made my mouth water.
“Oh, Edgar. This seems dangerous. Do you think the company is at risk?”
Her soft blue eyes grew wide as she turned to me. Only I couldn’t keep their gaze. Mine kept dropping to those lips. Those suckable, bitable, fuckable lips.
How was I going to spend a week in London with Evaleen without trying to give her an orgasm? I didn’t know if my cock would let me.
I tried to focus on anything other than her mouth, those red glistening lips inches from my own. You would think I would be embarrassed blatantly staring at her, but the heat burned up any logical thought or feeling I had.
Then it happened. It occurred so quickly I wasn’t sure who started it. It was probably me, but she hadn’t resisted.
I kissed Evaleen.
Not a light, sweet peck on the cheek or lips, but a full-on passionate kiss. My lips grazed and then seared to hers. My tongue pushed and plundered and I shuddered from what I sampled.
I thought I would feel relief but everything intensified. Memories of when I first saw her like an angel in the night flooded my brain. But the thoughts now were painted with the actual feel of her. Now I knew how she tasted, how sweet she smelled and as my fingers grazed her cheeks, how soft she felt.
When I finally got the strength to pull away and gaze at her, everything about Evaleen was flushed. She was dazed and everything I longed for.
“I don’t know what came over me, Evaleen.”
I knew. Totally, one hundred percent, knew. It just seemed the thing to say when you first kiss someone and you don’t know if it was okay that you did it.
She got up and turned to face me. I flinched with worry for what was to come.
Evaleen was about to let me have it. That I took advantage of her being in my home. And, yeah, I did do that. But, I would have kissed her if we were at the office too. Which didn’t make it any less terrible.
As she stood there without even an inch of air between us, Evaleen placed her hand on my shirt. Her fingers curled into the fabric. I swallowed as she pulled me down to face her. Those blue eyes molten as they traveled to my mouth. “It’s okay, Edgar. Really.”
Then she kissed me. This time it was her. It was also her hand, the one not curled into my shirt, tugging at my hair, forcing my mouth to open even more.
Everything she did caused my heart to thunder in my chest. How had I not known she wanted me to kiss her? Maybe it was the amped up emotions from what I just showed her, but I didn’t want to think about that. I didn’t want to believe that.
I wanted to believe Evaleen dug her fingers into my shirt because she needed this as much as me. That her mouth craved mine and I was giving her everything she had wanted for so long. That this infatuation was never one sided.
There was some trepidation, restraint in how she kissed so I plunged my tongue into her mouth. I helped her with everything I had because I didn’t want to pretend anymore. Evaleen had to know how badly I wanted to have her.
When her tongue came out it curled and captivated me.
I groaned and pushed her back up onto my desk, lifting her skirt in the process. She let out a squeak and stiffened, but as we kissed she melted back into my arms.
My hands slid up her body until they cupped her breasts. They were perfect, and every time I squeezed them she let out a groan. Those were some man-toy tits; I could play all day with them.
I dropped one of my hands to her thigh, inching up her soft skin, while the other remained on her chest. Her nipple was hard, I could feel it but I wanted her to squirm, to rub herself on me. So my fingers took that little bead and pinched.
Evaleen released from the kiss, her head fell back as she arched her back. She was so sensitive. I wondered if she was one of those women who could have an orgasm just from tit play.
“You are so fucking sexy, Evaleen. I want to do everything to you.”
And I meant it. I wanted tonight to be every fantasy I had ever had about her come true.
Her head lifted and something went up. A wall. Evaleen shook her head. “Define everything?”
The way she spoke was as if we were in a client meeting and not on my home office desk playing tongue tango.
“Whatever you want me to do. I don’t want you to feel like we have to have sex. This is nice. In fact, it’s more than nice.”
She let go of me and placed her hand over her eyes. “Fuck. Fuck, I hate this.”
A stream of tears rolled past her hand. Evaleen was crying again. What was it about my touch that made her cry?
I stepped back letting her go. The cool air adding to the sobriety of her words.
“You hate kissing me? Then why are you doing it?”
Was she using me for something? I couldn’t think what but even if she was, that’s pretty cold. I may have a reputation for sleeping around but I never used a woman. Every woman I had been with was because I wanted to be with them. Nothing more.
“No, Edgar, I didn’t mean that. Of course, I like kissing you it’s just . . .” She bit her lower lip.
“It’s just what, Evaleen? You say you hate this and start crying. The last time I tried to kiss you there were tears too. Are you forcing yourself to make out with me for some reason? Some weird dare?”
Her head fell forward causing her hair to hang like a curtain in front of her face. She brought her arms up and wrapped her head in them, like a helmet.
“No.”
“Something is going on.”
Her arms flew away, waving in the air as she lifted her head. “Fine. You might as well know so you can get the laughter over with. That seems to be me tonight, Evaleen the laughing stock.”
I shook my head. “Who is laughing at you? Is this because I told you Jacob was making you interview candidates with me? You know, Evaleen, you—”
“Edgar, I’m a virgin.”
TWENTY-TWO
Evaleen
I felt like I invented the ability to stop time.
Edgar seemed frozen. He stared at me with his hands on his hips unmoving. It was creepy.
Perhaps he had a heart attack and was deceased. I’ll be another Internet sensation: Woman Stops Man Dead with Virgin Confession.
I snapped my fingers in front of his face but he only blinked. At least I knew Edgar wasn’t dead.
“You can laugh if you want. I get it, being a thirty-something virgin is abnormal to say the least, but it is what it is.”
Edgar straightened.
“You’re right, it’s not something I come across every day,” Edgar said and then frowned.
I knew I wasn’t his type. It didn’t matter how beautiful the package, if it was broken or you couldn’t even get it opened, then there was no point to it. And I was both, broken and had never been opened.
Edgar was realizing at that moment there was no point to me. To kissing me or d
oing anything other than work with me.
Back to boring old Evaleen.
Did I really expect him to be happy about this confession? Like he found his pot at the end of the vagina rainbow.
Of course I knew better, I just hoped he wouldn’t freeze up on me.
I hopped off the desk and straightened my brown skirt. “Maybe it’s best that I go.”
“No, Evaleen; I’m sorry. It just surprised me. I mean, we hooked up four years ago. I know we didn’t have sex, but we did other stuff. Right?”
Four years ago. The happy hour I would never forget. I was surprised he remembered when the detectives asked him. So he avoided me after that because he was embarrassed, not because he couldn’t remember.
Now I felt even worse.
“All we did was kiss. Then we started tickling each other. You kept telling me to take your picture while I was tickling you. I thought it was odd but I did it. Then, after the fifth picture, you passed out. So I left.”
Edgar took a breath. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t remember much from it. Since you came home with me that night I thought you wanted sex. I don’t know, I just assumed since you are so in control, so self-confident that you had your pick of men. Is it a religious thing?”
He doesn’t know me at all.
“No, it’s not a religious thing.”
It felt weird looking at Edgar, so I stared at the floor while I pulled my blouse together. He thought I was self-assured. Little did he know I was unsure of just about everything.
He reached down and took my hand. As uncomfortable as I was right now, it felt good to have his touch. Edgar moved around the desk and pulled me along. We left his office with its wonderful walls filled with books and walked down the hall.
He guided me to his pale blue velvet couch in the center of his living room. I still couldn’t look at him as we sat so I stared across the room at the stone fireplace with an impressively large TV mounted over the mantle. Sparse family pictures in brushed silver frames dotted the mantle, and a similar brushed silver encased his otherwise glass coffee table. He turned, placing his knee on the couch to face me. Edgar still had my hand in his.
“I’m going to tell you something, Evaleen, and you probably won’t like it very much. But I’d rather be honest with you.”
Fuck.
That always happened. I dated a guy a few times and then finally I got the courage to tell him I was a virgin. That’s when the “It’s not you it’s me” speech came out. For some reason admitting to being a thirty-something virgin is about as much fun as an Ebola and Bubonic plague sandwich.
At least with those guys I had only known them for a few weeks. Edgar was different.
I had been lusting after him for five years. Not just that, but I still have to work in the same building as him after this.
Next week I’ll be in the same hotel in a different country with him. That was going to suck.
“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” I couldn’t help the bitterness in my words.
It was like an endless circle. I’m a virgin. A man likes me and wants to date me, but finds out I’m a virgin and runs. Then, I am still a virgin.
See where I am going with that? How am I supposed to not be a virgin if NO GUY WILL TOUCH ME!
“I like you, Evaleen.”
I nodded. Actually, my head flopped up and down in an exaggerated fashion. The way a teenager would respond to a parent in a lecture situation.
“Sorry, Edgar, but let me stop you right there.” I stood and put my hands in front of me giving him the universal stop sign in case my words weren’t enough.
I felt the need to end this.
“That’s real nice that you like me. I like you too. Did you know I liked you from the moment I met you?” I widened my eyes and gave a quick nod before continuing, “It’s true. I mean, I thought you were hot, but you knew that, didn’t you? I think you know that any woman who isn’t legally blind knows you are sexy. But let me get back on point.”
I took a deep breath. “Once I got to know you through work, I realized you were a nice guy too. Not stuck up. And you seemed like a friendly guy. But there was just one hiccup in this package.” I waved my hands around his body. He sat there with a confused expression on his face.
“You slept around. Now before you defend yourself, I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. Just because a person has sex doesn’t make them disgusting. I never thought less of you because of it. But that was where the hiccup came in; why would a guy who always sleeps with the women he dates want to take a chance on a virgin?”
I folded my arms. “So, I get it. I do. You want a woman who isn’t going to break down in tears if you take off her shirt. You don’t want a woman that has no idea how to have an orgasm. And you—”
“Stop.” Edgar stood up also giving me the universal stop sign. “You have never had an orgasm?”
He picked up on that? Crap.
“Define never?”
He reached out to me, and gently placed his hands on my arms. “Evaleen, even if you chose to be a virgin or if by terrible luck you never lost your virginity, you should have taken care of yourself. Find out what makes you happy. Try to give yourself an orgasm.”
The damn tears were coming again. My face warmed and I shut my eyes to stop them, but some pushed through.
Edgar stepped closer, I could feel his breath on my forehead. “Have you at least tried?”
“Yes.” My voice was a whisper but he heard. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. His fingers tangled into my hair, rubbing my head. It was soothing.
“That feels good,” I said. I didn’t mean to say that out loud, it just came out. But it was true.
“What else did I do that felt good?”
“What?” I pulled away but not completely, and gazed up at Edgar.
“Evaleen, what happened when you tried to have an orgasm?”
This time I stepped fully back. “You aren’t my therapist, Edgar. It’s a little weird discussing my masturbation technique with a guy I work with.”
He reached up to scratch his beard and turned his head. I knew what he was doing; Edgar was inventing some plan in his head. He always did that right before he thought up an idea.
Normally, I anticipated his ideas as they were smart but this time, I was afraid. My fingers fidgeted with one of my mother of pearl buttons on my blouse.
He turned back. “Now hear me out, Evaleen.”
Yup, the man had a plan.
“Do I have any choice, Edgar? I’m standing in your house so I have to hear what you say.”
He smirked. “What if I help you have an orgasm?”
I lifted my eyes to the vaulted ceiling and shook my head. “Really?” I chuckled a few times before I continued, “What a brilliant idea, Edgar. How has no man thought of that one before? Help a woman have an orgasm? Why, you’re a genius. I’d patent that idea before someone else does.”
“Ha ha, Evaleen. I get how that sounded. But that’s not what I meant. I don’t mean having sex with you. This would be all about you. I don’t even have to touch you if you don’t want. This would only be about guiding you to orgasm. Actually, I think they have classes for that nowadays.”
A class full of strangers getting off in front of people? No, thank you.
It’s weird enough what Edgar is suggesting without having some hippy trying to teach me to find my inner ecstasy.
“I’m sure I can teach myself, Edgar.”
That was a lie. I had been trying for fifteen years, and every time I felt close it just never happened. I even looked up YouTube how-to videos. They were surprisingly boring and creepy.
He cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure about that, Evaleen?”
He had me. I wasn’t sure. I can’t even pleasure myself, how can I ever hope to give a man pleasure. Maybe that’s why all those guys I dated ran. They knew I wouldn’t know what I was doing.
I bit my lower lip. “Okay, Edgar. Teach me your
orgasm ways, oh wise one.”
TWENTY-THREE
Edgar
I had no idea what I was doing.
For the first time—well, maybe the second time—in my life a woman was in my bedroom and I didn’t even know what to do with my hands. The first time I was a virgin, a teenager and didn’t even know how to talk to a girl, let alone how to make her come.
We had left my living room the moment Evaleen agreed to have me give her an orgasm. I practically yanked her up my stairs forcing her to grasp at my polished wood railing before guiding her to my bedroom.
Now Evaleen and I stood facing my bed. It looked better than my bed at sixteen. I no longer had a blanket with a wolf in the mountains staring at me. That blanket was terrible but I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Now, blue silk sheets with a dark gray comforter lay before us. I even had a nice mahogany headboard instead of white particle board.
“Should I sit? On the bed?” Evaleen said.
“Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, that was rude. Make yourself comfortable.”
Even my teenager-self asked the girl, her name was Daniella, to sit. I was losing it.
“Should I get undressed before or after I sit?” Evaleen looked at me with fear in her eyes. I was mucking up the whole thing.
“I think we should talk first, so sit or lay back if you feel more comfortable that way.”
Evaleen was right, I sounded like a therapist.
She sat on her hands on the edge of the bed, her head down, and I knew it was going to take a while to make her comfortable enough to do anything.
When she admitted to being a virgin, I was shocked. Sure, she was more reserved than other women I had known, but I figured that was her personality. It was one of the things I liked about her. She didn’t jump head first into things; she took her time and always asked a lot of questions. Not like me. I went wherever the breeze—or, in this case, my dick—took me.
I admired her ability to be strong, to be thoughtful, and to be responsible.
“This is weird. You can feel it, can’t you? It’s like I’m at the doctor’s office and about to be poked down there, only I have to act like I enjoy it.” She said.
The Attraction File (Cake Love Book 2) Page 11