“You sound chipper,” I snark.
“Always good to hear from you, Cooper,” he drones sarcastically.
“We finished movin’ in to my brothers’ place. I figure it’s a good idea to get a secure line in here,” I say.
“I’ll send Erica Graves,” he replies. “She’s the Midwest station chief.”
Two years ago the DCA branched out a bit. We have small stations in every region of the country now. Having one in Kansas City has made my dad’s life with the agency a lot easier. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they did it for him. Kansas City was the first station opened under the new program after my family relocated there following our op in Connecticut. Coincidence? I think not.
“Wasn’t she in Chicago with Reed?”
I remember meeting a female agent in the aftermath of the blast. I wasn’t really paying attention though. I was too focused on Riley and getting her the hell out of there.
“Yeah.”
“What’s wrong, Roman?” I ask in a huff. He’s not usually this distracted.
“Nothing,” he lies.
“Just tell me. Do you need us?”
“I’ve got it covered. This shit with Cash is a fuckin’ problem though. I haven’t gotten to the bottom of it, but from what I can figure out, he’s dirtier than an eighty-year-old hooker’s pussy.”
“That’s quite the visual,” I say through a gag.
“Tell me about it,” he replies with a snort.
“He’s still on the human trafficking team, right?”
“Yeah. That’s my problem. I can’t dig too deep without raising flags.”
“Go to Shane,” I dictate.
“I’ve already run this shit by him. He’s workin’ what he can. We’ve gotta have some solid evidence before we pull Cash in. The problem is, he’s been undercover and dark for a year now. Pretty fuckin’ convenient.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah. I’ll find him and get this shit settled. I promise you that, Cooper.”
“Are you sweet on me now, Roman?” I tease him.
“You’re a pain in the fuckin’ ass, Cooper,” he responds through a chuckle. “How’s Riley doin’?”
“She’s okay. Not great. Not horrible,” I answer honestly. “I need to get her in therapy. Can Erica set that up?”
“She’ll do whatever you need,” he says before exhaling. “Ivan’s begging me to talk to your girl. Once you get your brothers’ place secure, let’s set that up.”
“He really likes Riley, huh?”
“I’ve never seen him like this. He’s pretty quiet and stays to himself. Even in school, he doesn’t really bond with the other kids,” Roman says with a hint of regret.
“He’s only six. Give him some time to come into his own. Riley’s been askin’ about him too. How about we talk this weekend?”
“That’s good for us. Email me with a time.”
“Will do. Thanks for havin’ my back and givin’ me the time off to get settled. I should go ahead and tell you, I’m stayin’ here permanently. I’ll need my family to take care of Riley while we’re on ops from now on. I’ll have to take fewer assignments and no more overseas work, but I’m not quittin’.”
“What’s Mitchell’s plan?”
“He’s with me.”
“I’ll talk to Shane about this. How many jobs a year are you thinkin’?” he asks cautiously.
“I’m not sure,” I respond honestly.
It feels like I’m going from all to nothing right now. This is the longest I’ve been a “civilian” since I was a civilian. The idea of being able to count jobs in a year is crazy. I know how many kills I have up to this point.
897.
That’s not counting what I did before I became Jake Cooper. I don’t count the kills before then. They weren’t mine. I was simply the weapon.
“We’ll get it figured out,” Roman assures me.
“Let me know when you get somethin’ on Cash.”
“Will do. Get in touch with Erica.”
“On it.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up.
I smash yet another burner before firing up another one where I have a brief conversation with Erica. She’ll be here tomorrow.
I love the efficiency of the DCA.
“All good?” Mitch asks, peeking his head into my room.
My brothers weren’t lying about having extra rooms. They aren’t massive, but the three of us will be comfortable here. Cara’s with Riley in her room as they figure out where they’re going to put all the massive decal we bought to decorate her room.
“Erica’s comin’ tomorrow to set up a secure line,” I inform him and that cocky, lopsided grin streaks across his face.
“That is a very positive development,” he responds with an eyebrow wiggle.
“Don’t shit where you eat,” I order.
“She’s not in the field,” he argues, flopping on the edge of my bed.
It’s a craftsman-style walnut bed covered in a deep green and gold duvet. My mom put all the rooms together. There’s no way my brothers did this. I guess it could have been Cara. I’ll have to ask. Once she decides to speak to me. She’s in full-on avoidance mode. I understand it, but it’s starting to piss me off all the same.
“She’s the station chief in Kansas City.”
“Hot and powerful. You’re gettin’ my dick hard,” he groans.
“Go take a cold shower.” I smack the back of his head after I stand up from the small desk where I’ve been working.
“I’m goin’ out with Dane tonight,” he says, shaking off my hit. “Cole said he might come too. Sawyer’s stayin’ in Kansas City.”
“Call Roman instead of me when you get arrested,” I respond through a snort. My brothers out for a night with my spotter spells trouble. Sawyer’s with his girl. I still don’t have that story. I guess I need to go buy a case of beer and get it out of him.
Mitch grabs his chest as though I’ve wounded him and then flips me off as he leaves my room.
We’ve been here for two days now, settling in has been easy enough. It’s like six years passed in the blink of an eye. There’s nothing uncomfortable with my brothers. They wanted me home and now that I am, they aren’t holding shit against me.
Cara on the other hand is holding shit against me. She’s civil with me, but her guard is up at all times. She makes sure we’re never in a room alone, and she’s been gone a lot. Avoidance is the name of her game. Well, I’m the king of avoidance, and I know how to break that shit down. It’s time to get stuff out in the open with her. I’ve missed six years, and I’m done missing time.
I walk out of my room and across the small landing into Riley’s room.
Cara’s placing the first pieces of the art on the wall.
“Did we get it figured out?” I ask.
“We’re just gonna wing it,” Cara answers, positioning another fairy on the wall.
We bought a massive tree that’s covered in purple and yellow flowers that change into fairies as they fall away from the branches.
It’ll cover at least two walls when we’re finished.
“Let’s put the tree up,” I suggest with my hand going to Cara’s back as she bends to gather another fairy off the bed.
“Okay,” she says, stepping out of my reach.
Cara and I go about sticking shit on the wall together while Riley directs from the plush yellow rug I bought her. She’s all dimples and wonder as the image comes to life.
Cara doesn’t speak to me while we work, but she talks to Riley a lot. They laugh and smile at each other. I stay quiet, soaking the two of them in. They’re two sides of a fucked up coin. Cara’s escaped the blackness she was forced into, and Riley’s healing from a blackness we’re unclear on. They understand each other, much like Shannon and I do.
“Done,” I sigh, dropping onto the rug next to Riley.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispers, taking in the walls.
Cara takes a spot o
n the floor next to Riley as we all admire our work. It’s just right for my girl, pretty and light. The happiness she deserves.
“I need a hug,” Mitch announces from the doorway.
Riley scurries over to him, wrapping tightly around his body as he cradles her close.
“We’re leavin’,” he says as he puts Riley down. “Don’t wait up.”
“We won’t,” I snort, waving him off.
“Where’s he goin’?” Riley asks, walking around the room, running her fingers over the stickers she can reach.
“I’m not sure.”
“I’m glad I don’t have to wear a vest when people leave,” she murmurs at the wall.
Cara’s eyes snap to mine, guilt lacing the emerald.
“That will never happen again, Riley,” I assure her, holding Cara’s eyes as I speak.
“He said I was important,” Riley explains turning to face us. “He was mean to the other girls. But he wasn’t mean to me. He was just scary.”
“Did he scare you with words?” Cara asks tentatively.
Riley nods, folding her arms around her waist.
I crawl over to her and snag her body. If she’s going to talk about this shit, she’s not doing it across the room from me.
Once I have Riley in my lap, facing Cara, she speaks again.
“He said I was his something special,” she whispers.
I furrow my brow at Cara and she shrugs. What the fuck was Smith up to? I hate this shit so much. I’ve asked her a few times if Smith talked to her while he had her. She’s avoided the question every time. I talked to the head of DCA psych yesterday and he suggested I not push her. So I’m not. But I’ll sure as shit listen right now and every other time she wants to share. I’ve been waiting for her to tell me, but fuck me, it’s killing me. I want all of this out of her. I don’t want her carrying that sick fuck inside her.
“He was a sick man, Riley. I don’t know why, but he was a very sick person,” I try to explain shit that has no logical explanation.
“He can’t get me now,” she replies, burrowing further into my embrace.
“Never,” I growl, squeezing her tightly.
After sitting in silence for a long while, Cara suggests, “Let’s have a movie night.” Bringing a much needed reprieve to the heaviness in the room.
“With popcorn,” I add in.
“And candy,” Cara says through a grin.
“And pizza,” Riley mumbles into my chest.
I climb to my feet, cradling Riley against me and hold my hand out to Cara. She looks at it warily before placing her palm in mine. Once I have her standing, I tag the back of her head and press a kiss to her forehead.
“Thanks for helpin’ with the room,” I mutter against her skin.
She nods and pulls away from me, leaving the room swiftly. I watch her legging-covered ass until I can’t see it anymore.
“Daddy,” Riley says, popping her head up to look at me.
“Yeah?”
“The scary man was gonna trade me.”
“Trade you?” I ask, completely taken aback.
“I heard him talking about it to someone else,” she admits sheepishly.
“My brave girl,” I compliment her, brushing the backs of my rough fingers over her cheek. “Do you wanna tell me anything else?”
She thinks about it before shaking her head. My girl’s still holding back. I can’t push her. If I’ve learned anything, pushing leads to problems. Riley’s opening up. That’s what’s important. I’ll get to the bottom of her story even if she can’t give it to me.
“You can always talk to me, Riley. I promise to listen. Okay? I love you so much. And I’m proud of how brave you’ve been.”
“That’s all he said. I don’t like thinkin’ about it,” she mumbles.
“Well let’s not think about it anymore right now.”
“Okay. Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you too. Let’s go order some pizza.”
“No onions this time,” she directs as I walk out of her fairy room.
“No onions for my princess,” I agree.
When we get downstairs, Cara’s in the kitchen popping popcorn. She looks tense, her shoulders rigid. I set Riley down and she goes over to her toy box in the corner, pulling out cars. That’s my girl.
I stride to Cara, wanting to ease her tension, knowing I’m the problem. I need to be her solution. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind, pulling her soft ass against my dick. I force the thing to stay limp. I deserve an award for that shit.
She releases a deep breath but doesn’t push me off her.
“How can I fix this?” I whisper in her ear. “We don’t have to stay here, sweetheart. I’ll pack us up and move out if this is too much for you. I don’t wanna be the cause of your pain anymore.”
“I don’t want you to go,” she says quietly. “But I don’t know how to be around you either.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
I’m done talking to her ear. I need her eyes so I know what she’s thinking. I spin her around and keep both arms enveloping her waist, staring into her sad eyes.
“Why don’t you want me to go? Why don’t you know how to be around me?” I clarify.
She rolls her lips, darting her eyes away from me.
“Eyes up here, sweetheart.”
She snaps her gaze to mine and she grumbles, “That. That’s why.”
“Huh?”
“Nobody talks to me like that. I don’t obey men, Jake. But you call me sweetheart and all of a sudden I’m seventeen again, hanging on your every word. I hate that shit almost as much as I love it.”
“So I shouldn’t call you sweetheart?” I question with confusion.
She shrugs.
“Cara,” I growl. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want to go back in time,” she whispers, snaking her arms around my neck. “I want to force you to stay with me six years ago. I want everything I missed with you. I don’t want to hurt so much when I look at you. I want to trust you.”
“I can’t take us back in time. And if I did, I’d still leave. I couldn’t be what you needed back then. I would’ve hurt you worse than anything you’re goin’ through now. And because I left, I got Riley and I can’t regret that. But I’m here now. I’m not goin’ anywhere. The trust will come, but you have to give me a chance, sweetheart. I can’t break down your walls while you’re avoiding me like the plague.”
“I’ll try,” she agrees.
I brush my lips across hers, barely connecting with her plump mouth.
“That’s all I need,” I reply, setting her away from me.
She turns a puzzled look at me when I take a few steps back.
“I’m not gonna maul you again,” I explain, running a hand over my buzzed head.
“So we’re gonna be friends?” she questions with a smirk on her mouth.
“Sweetheart, you’ve always been my friend. Don’t push me though. I’m tryin’ to be good.”
She shrugs and turns away from me like she couldn’t care less. That irritates me, but I get her play. I’m just not going to stand for it.
“I have a date tomorrow night,” she says over her shoulder.
“No, you don’t,” I snarl, closing in on her again.
I squeeze one arm around her ribs and tilt her head back with a hand around her neck. Her pulse is racing as she rests against my shoulder.
“Don’t play games with me, sweetheart. You’re better than that. My temper can only be pushed so far,” I warn, nipping the skin below her ear. “You’re mine, Cara. Don’t forget it and don’t make me remind you.”
“Jake.” Her voice quivers as my hand leaves her neck and skims over her tit before tweaking her hard nipple. “I don’t want distance. I can’t avoid you anymore.”
“Okay,” I agree, suckling her neck as my fingers continue to play with her nipple.
She hisses through her teeth as my other hand snakes below her sweater,
caressing her smooth stomach.
“I’m hungry, Daddy!” Riley shouts.
Cara goes still at the sound of my girl’s voice. I continue to touch Cara, my mouth never leaving her skin. She’s in a frenzy of want and also needing space. I have to keep her here in this moment with me. My tongue runs along the curve of her neck as my fingers trace the edge of her bra, my other hand continuing to palm her tit.
“Jake,” she complains.
I tug her earlobe with my teeth and finally let her go.
“No more distance,” I remind Cara.
She nods, smoothing her sweater as my hand leaves it.
“You burnt the popcorn,” I tease her.
“You made me,” she grumbles.
I thrust my hard dick against her ass, holding her hips firmly.
“Can’t help myself around you,” I murmur into her hair.
She slaps my hands and I chuckle.
She gave me the opening I need. I won’t fuck up this time. I can’t.
I need her.
I’ve lost.
When Riley came to me this afternoon and asked me to do the tree again, I couldn’t say no. I was hurting her and confusing her with my shit. I couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t deserve my distance.
But taking that step with Riley meant I was taking a step with Jake too.
I want him. I want him so badly that I feel like an insane person. I stood in the shower today after he got out just to absorb his smell. How pathetic is that?
Well, I’m done being pathetic. I’m a grown woman, constantly trying to get my family to respect that. Now I need to act like it.
It’s okay to be scared. I know it’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re still alive and able to fight. I’m terrified my heart won’t stand the loss of Jake again, but I refuse to live a life filled with unnecessary fear where fighting is my only choice. I’ve spent my life fighting real monsters. Jake’s not that and I’m done fighting this thing between us.
I’m strong. I’ll survive anything I endure because that’s what I do.
I don’t want to survive Jake though.
He reaches across the table and swipes a bit of sauce off my mouth before licking his finger clean with a molten look in his soft brown eyes.
It makes me quiver.
The woman who’s afraid of sex quivers.
Escaping the Blackness (A Cooper Brothers Novel Book 1) Page 18