Barf finished loading the two treasure landing sacks onto a long rug he had pulled from the floor. He knew if he were to transport the treasure out of the tower then he would need to drag it for it was too awkward to carry and wield a sword at the same time, and so he could drag them down the stairs wrapped inside the large rug. He returned to the room.
“... And the great cataclysm fell away beneath your heels and we saw Hyperbolea rise and the ascent of the land known as Zingo. Here was one....”
Barf looked around the room. He knew that the creature could not see him, and so he began a search for Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart. He looked inside the urns by the fireplace, searched in a small cabinet by the side of the couch and found nothing. He crossed the room to try the other side.
“...My kind are not immortal, though our lives compared to yours may seem so. Even so, one by one we died until only I remained, ensconced in a temple in the Vale of Wump, training acolytes there in the slightest of arts. Then came one day a priest named Yobo…”
Barf’s ears pricked up. What was that about the priest of the tower? As far as Barf was concerned, it was Yobo who was the real face of the Majics of the tower. Perhaps it was he that held Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart. If so where was he? Looking inside a large earthen vase he continued his search, the man-duck continuing to drone on beside him.
“...First, this Yobo sat at my feet and learned wisdom. Yet my teachings did not satisfy him, for what I taught him was white magic and he wanted to learn more. The ability to destroy or conquer, to dominate. It was the black arts that he sought, and I was determined that he would not get them from me. Yet Yobo was more devious than I knew, for with knowledge stolen from the dust strewn cold tombs of Old Blop he tricked me into revealing a secret that I did not intend to divulge, and so he turned my own power upon me, and in doing so he enslaved me. Now I was a slave to a devil in human form…”
Barf looked on a small ledge, accidentally knocking what looked like a strangely crafted jewelled egg to the floor where it smashed into pieces. He moved the broken shell around with his foot, but it was just an egg.
“...He bound me to this tower which he forced me to build for him in but one night and imprisoned me here. By fire, rack, and pain he mastered me, and also by strange unearthly tortures which your mind could not even begin to comprehend. In agony, I would have long ago taken my own life, but he kept me alive, though mangled, blinded, and broken, to do his foul bidding. So, for three hundred years I have been a slave to his will and done his bidding…”
“Perhaps it is under the rug?” thought Barf, pulling the rug up and nearly sending the couch upon which the duck man was lying hurling across the room.
“...Aye, three hundred years from this couch, blackening my soul with his evil deeds and staining my wisdom with his crimes because I had no other choice. Yet not all of my secrets has he wrested from me, for he does not know of the sorcery of the blood and the jewel. Now I feel the end of my time draws near. You are the hand of fate to me barbarian, and I…” The creature stopped as Barf placed the table back down on the floor. Of Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart there was no sign.
“What on Earth are you looking for?” asked the man-duck irritably. “And if it’s all the same to you do you mind putting things back in the right place?”
“I am searching for the Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart.” said Barf, ignoring the second question. “By your own words, The duck’s heart. I am beginning to think I shall have to pry your ribs apart to secure it, creature.” he added.
“Catch.” said the duck creature, pulling a large clear crystal jewel from its pocket and throwing it to him. “You only had to ask. No need to make a mess. If things aren’t in the right place I can bump into them, you know.”
“Sorry.” said Barf, catching the jewel easily and holding it up to his eye. It was enormous, it’s worth incalculable. He knew that this was the heart of the duck. The gem of legend.
“Now you have the jewel I shall cast a great magic, and have an end to my long torment by this Zingonian priest. Blood magic they call it. By my lifeblood do I conjure it forth, blood borne on the back of the great space slug Yeg, dreaming far across the cosmos in the great blue vastness of space, and so my end will come.”
“Are you really sure about the giant space slug bit?” asked Barf.
“Quite.” sniffed the duck-man. “Take your sword and cut out my heart with it, then squeeze it hard and feed the crystal, Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart with my blood. Once done descend to the next chamber down in the tower where you will find the evil priest of the dark arts, the priest Yobo. He will no doubt be sleeping at this time, lotus dreams of evil, no doubt. Lay the gem before him and as you do so, say these words. “Here Yobo is Anas Platyrhynchos’s last gift and enchantment to you.”
“What then?” said Barf, his eyes never leaving the gem.
“Run as fast as you can.” said the creature. “You must not tarry nor delay. There is a garrison of guards below Yobo’s room. Race through it if you can. There will be little time. Once in the gardens fly like the wind!”
“Of this you are sure?” said Barf, pulling Humdinger from its scabbard.
“Yum, Duck.” said the sword. Let’s carve.” The sword, however, fell silent as it noticed Barf scowling at it.
Uncertainty Barf drew closer, and as if sensing this the creature indicated where he should strike. Barf set his teeth and drove the blade deep. Blood ran over the sword and his hand and the creature convulsed, falling back to the couch, but Barf continued his task, now sure that life had left the creature for all time, so still was it. Completing his grisly task Barf withdrew from the creature's body it's now still heart. Holding the severed organ over the Anas Platyrhynchos’s gem he squeezed it tightly, the blood cascading down over the jewel, the rain of blood falling over the stone. To Barf’s surprise, the blood did not run off the gem but soaked into it as if it was being absorbed by a sponge.
“Yuk.” said Humdinger. “Can’t help but feel Yobo is not going to be terribly impressed that we seem to have done in his favourite duck. Foie Gras is definitely off the menu tonight.”
“Foie what?” grunted Barf and Humdinger sighed.
“Never mind.” said the sword.
Barf moved from the room, his greed getting the better of him on the way out as he plucked a small ruby from the treasure chest and placing it in a pouch on his belt.
“Let’s go and sort this Yobo out then.” he said, and he left the room and checked that the two sacks of jewels were still sitting on the rug on the stairway. They were still both untouched and in place, leaning against the tower wall and gleaming brightly in the light from the walls. Barf descended the stairs and after two more twists in the staircase another ivory door came into sight, this time studded with blood gems. Turning the red jewel handle Barf pushed the door open and entered the room.
This chamber was sparsely decorated, the furnishings all of black. Beside the door lay an ornate tray of perfumed oils, unguents, and the like, but it appeared to be the only other piece of furniture in the room other than a jet black marble couch in the centre of the chamber on which lay the sleeping priest, Yobo. Barf had never even for a moment considered not obeying the duck’s last request, and so he approached the man lying on the couch. He was about to wake him when the man’s eyes shot open, a flicker of anger appearing on his face he rose, towering above the barbarian almost like a cobra, yet his eyes were vulture yellow, his mouth as sharp as a blade.
“Dog!” he shouted, “What purpose brings you here?”
Barf smiled and raised Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart before him, then placed it on a small table that lay between them.
“He who sent this gem bade me say, “Here Yobo is Anas Platyrhynchos’s last gift and enchantment to you.”
To Barf’s surprise, Yobo recoiled, fear appearing on his face. Now the jewel was changing colour, strange pulses and clouds throbbing and cascading inside then gem. As if hypnotised to drawn to the gem
, Yobo leaned over it and gripping it in both hands, raised it to eye level, examining it carefully as if only he could see something in there. As Barf looked he thought his eyes must be playing him tricks, for when the priest had first stood he had towered over him, yet now his full height only came to Barf’s shoulders. He blinked, puzzled, then realised with a shock that as he watched the priest was shrinking in stature. He was becoming smaller before his very eyes.
As if a man watching a play he stood as a bystander almost, Yobo now no taller than a small child and growing smaller by the second. Still, he dwindled and as Barf watched the gem dropped to the table top once again and he saw the tiny form of Yobo almost the size of an insect, waving his arms and screaming in what was a tiny cricket like voice, and then he began to sink into the gem itself, being absorbed into the Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart as the duck’s blood had been absorbed also.
Barf leaned forward and lifted the gem to his eyes and he saw inside it Yobo running away into the centre of the gem and then there came into the heart of the gem the shape of a creature half duck and half man. No longer was this creature blind or crippled. Yobo threw up his tiny arms and fled as a madman flees, and on his heels came the avenger. Then, like the bursting of a bubble the great jewel vanished in the shimmer of a rainbow of iridescent gleams and Barf’s hands were empty.
“Great.” said Barf, looking around the floor and nearby just in case, but he looked in vain he knew, for the Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart was gone.
Barf stood shaking his head in the room. He walked to the remaining treasure in the chest and considered the room full of guards and the two already full sacks outside the room and up the staircase. As he did so the tower suddenly shook, the floor bouncing before his eyes, ornaments, and vases smashing to the floor all about him. Holding his sword before him he raced through the door and up the stairs to where the rug lay, the two pillow cases loaded with gems and jewels of every kind flowing over the tops of them.
“How you going to get them out?” asked Humdinger as the floor shook again, the tower itself seeming to rock as dust and small pieces of mortar began to fall from above.
“I was going to pull them.” said Barf and he pulled the back of the rug to the front, wrapping the two sacks of treasure inside the carpet. He gave it a slow tug and slowly and with great effort he began to pull it down the stairs. As he did so an even stronger tremor shook the tower, and Barf lost his footing, stumbling to the ground, his sword falling to the ground before him.
“Don’t be leaving me in this place!” shouted Humdinger in a panic.
“I shouldn’t be so lucky.” growled Barf and picked the sword back up and placed it back in its scabbard just as the tower shook once again. He grabbed the end of the rug to steady himself and as dust fell all around him, cracks appearing in the tower walls, he tugged and slowly reached the room where Yobo had just met his grisly demise.
Another quake threw him to the ground, and a long, low sound like that of stone being ground against stone sounded through the tower. Barf glanced over to the room and saw the table of oils and unguents had fallen to the floor now, oil staining the entrance to the room.
“Oil!” exclaimed Barf, and he leapt into the room, searching for as many bottles of the perfumed oil as he could find.
As he found each one he threw it out of the door onto the rug. Searching through the piles of smashed glass and useless powders he satisfied himself that there were no more bottles of oil he rushed back to the staircase just as the most powerful tremor shook the tower, and he heard some cracking above and the sound of rock falling to the ground. Long, thin cracks appeared in the walls of the tower.
Not pausing he smashed each bottle onto the upturned rug, soaking it in oil at the front until all of the bottles had been used and the rug was soaked with oil.
“Surely you’re not thinking of…” began Humdinger but Barf growled at him to cease and he sat himself on the rug and holding the two sacks between his knees he pulled the front of the rug back and pushed the carpet as hard as he could with his back and legs. Slowly the jewel and barbarian laden carpet began to slide down the spiral staircase.
It quickly gained momentum, and now he was descending further down into the tower than he had been before. He knew that he would reach the guards halfway down the tower next, their garrison being almost exactly halfway up the tower, or perhaps a little bit lower. It was difficult to tell.
Another tremor shook the tower as his speed increased, the rug sliding down over the stone steps of the staircase on the oil. The walls flashed past as Barf leaned continually into the bending stairs, guiding the rug down and down into the tower. His speed was gaining all the time and he was having a great deal of trouble just keeping the carpet from colliding with the walls.
“This is quite good fun.” said Humdinger As they thundered down the tower, “Some people would pay good money for this.”
Barf said nothing, for the staircase in front of them suddenly disappeared as they flew into the guard room. Masonry had fallen in greater quantities here, and as they flashed past Barf noted several corpses about the otherwise deserted room and then they were out of the room and onto the staircase again. This time however he could hear scared shouts and screams from ahead and then suddenly soldiers were all around him, fleeing from the crumbling tower as fast as they could.
They had not seen Barf coming however, and they hardly had a chance. The rug collided with the soldiers and Barf gave a loud cry as bodies flew through the air about him, the snapping of bones and the violent collisions giving him no doubt to the men's fate. The carpet continued its descent then, only one more soldier being crushed by the carpet as they rounded another bend, though this time luck was not on Barf’s side as the collision coincided with another tremor and so as he hit the man, shattering his spine by the look of it, Barf noted as the body flew away from him, the tremor threw him through the air and he went one way and the rug went the other, carrying the jewels with it.
As he stumbled and rolled to his feet the tower collapsed. He had barely a second to register the rug and sacks being crushed by the falling tower below where he now lay, and then a huge crack appeared in the wall and the staircase lurched, tipping him out into the fresh air through the hole.
Barf tumbled through the fresh clean air and he spun like a cat just as he collided with one of the trees in the inner garden, which bent and catapulted him through the air and out into the outer garden.
“Run!” shouted Humdinger, and as Barf looked over his shoulder he could see why the sword was so keen for him to move as fast as he could for the whole tower was falling towards him, a huge behemoth of stone falling through the air, heading for exactly where he was stood.
Barf leapt to his feet and ran through the bushes, their thick branches and light thorns clawing at him, slowing him down. He reached the outer wall and leapt for it, scaling it quickly, adrenalin sending him over it almost without effort. He glanced over his shoulder and heard the dull thump of stone impacting the ground behind him, and he saw that he was still not clear of the falling tower. Leaping from the wall he ran onto the grass beyond, crossed the small dirt track where he had observed the small cart arriving in what seemed like another lifetime ago, and ran as fast as he could, rock and masonry falling like a giant hand behind him, reaching out, the masonry and dust rising all around as he ran.
His lungs were bursting, his ears filled with the crash of rocks and stone, the cloud of dust threatening to engulf and crush him as the tower with its last strength reached out with long, thick fingers of stone that seemed to almost be screaming for his blood as the stone fell and crashed to the ground and then fell silent.
He continued to run, though all he could hear now was the sound of his heart beating fast, and he dared to look behind him. With a gasp he threw himself to the ground and rolled onto his back, trying to steady his breathing and the beating of his heart. The tower of Anas Platyrhynchos had fallen.
“You want to claim
ownership of that ride.” said Humdinger from it lay where Barf had dropped it on the grass. “It’s a money maker. Take my word for it.”
“Well, money is one thing we seem to be out of luck with.” said Barf, rising wearily to his feet. Not only did Anas Platyrhynchos’s heart disappear, we lost the sacks of loot too.”
“You still have a small ruby in your belt pocket.” said the sword brightly as Barf picked it up. Barf patted the pocket and pulled the ruby from it. He held it up to dawn’s first light and then reached down and kissed it, before placing it back in the pouch and securing it there tightly.
“That we have.” smiled Barf. “Should get us through a month or two I expect.” he said as he walked slowly back to where the start of the pile of the rubble began.
As the dawn wind blew upon him with the heady fragrance of luxuriant growths floating on the breeze he started like a man waking from a dream. He stared at the wreckage of the tower and as he did so it began to slowly crumble, fade and disappear into thin air, the first light of the day dispelling the fallen rubble altogether. Barf watched until it was all gone, and all that was left was a large wide circle which had once been the base of where the tower had stood. Even the garden walls had vanished, leaving just the circle of thin stone that rose no more than an inch above the ground.
Suddenly he laughed, and once he started he found that he could not stop. Was he bewitched or enchanted he wondered? Had he dreamed all that had passed? He knew not and as he approached the last part of the tower that remained the last vestiges of masonry faded to nothing, and from where the rubble had once been a small round red object rolled towards him and stopped at his feet.
Barf leaned over and picked it up, examining it as he did so. Once again he started to laugh as he looked at the object in his hand; the final remains of the tower of Anas Platyrhynchos. Swearing loudly, he checked the small red object and pulling the band over his head he put on the false red nose of Bobo the clown.
Barf the Barbarian in The Tower of the Anas Platyrhynchos (The Chronicles of Barf the Barbarian Book 1) Page 5