by Ray Gleason
THE HELVETIAN AFFAIR
Also by Ray Gleason:
The Gaius Marius Chronicle
De Re Gabiniana: The Gabinian Affair
A Grunt Speaks: A Devil’s Dictionary of Vietnam Infantry Terms
The Violent Season
THE GAIUS MARIUS CHRONICLE
BOOK II
THE
HELVETIAN
AFFAIR
De Re Helvetian
Ray Gleason
THE GAIUS MARIUS CHRONICLE BOOK II
THE HELVETIAN AFFAIR
De Re Helvetian
© 2016 RAY GLEASON.
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To BJ Rahn
Teacher, Mentor, Friend
“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.”
—John Milton
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Gaius Marius Insubrecus Tertius, our hero, known variously as follows:
Arth Bek: “Little Bear,” by his grandpa
Pagane: “The Hick,” by his Roman army mates
Gai: by his family, close friends, and his few girlfriends
Insubrecus: by his army colleagues and casual associates
Blatta / Vermiculus / Bestiola: “Cockroach / Maggot / Insect,” by Strabo, his training officer
Prime: “Top,” but that’s much later in his military career
The Basic Training Squad:
Cossus Lollius Strabo, “Squinty,” an Eighth Legion optio, the training officer, later promoted to centurion in the Tenth Legion
The Veterani, “Old Men”:
Lucius Bantus, acting decanus, squad leader
Tullius Norbanus, “Tulli,” assistant squad leader
The Tirones, “Rookies”:
Mollis, “Softy”
Rufus, “Red”
Pustula, “Zits”
Minutus, “Tiny”
Loquax, “Gabby”
Lentulus, “Slow Poke”
Felix, “Lucky”
Gaius Iulius Caesar, Imperator and commander of the Roman legions in Gaul; proconsul of Cisalpine Gaul, Transalpine Gaul, and Illyricum; ex-consul of the Roman Repubulic and Triumvir with Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus and Marcus Licinius Crassus; Patronus of our hero, Gaius Marius Insubrecus
Caesar’s Legates in Gaul:
Titus Labienus, a professional soldier and Caesar’s right-hand man; second in command of the army; saves Caesar’s bacon at Bibracte
Caius Claudius Pulcher, “Pretty Boy,” a self-conscious Patrician and no fan of Caesar; he would probably have been involved in the plot against Caesar—had he the brains or the energy
Publius Licinius Crassus, one of the two sons of Caesar’s colleague and fellow triumvir, Marcus Licinius Crassus; appointed to Caesar’s staff as a favor to his father and sent to Gaul by his father to keep an eye on his partner, Caesar
Quintus Pedius, Caesar’s nephew—need I say more?
Servius Sulpicius Rufus, a lawyer in armor; every army has a few of these, unfortunately
Publius Vatinius, served Caesar in Rome as his pet tribune of the Plebs, a political appointment
Lucius Aurunculeius Cotta, serving in Gaul seems to have been his only claim to fame
Caesar’s Military Tribunes:
Lucius Vipsanius Agrippa, an Italian from Asisium; an equestrian; a social and political nobody, but a good officer; his kid brother, Marcus, will eventually make it big
Tertius Nigidius Caecina, an angusticlavus, a junior tribune; a Roman and the nephew of Senator Publius Nigidius Figulus, on whose support Caesar depends
Publius Considius, been around in the army since Romulus was a corporal; in bad need of a pair of specs, but they haven’t been invented yet
Fabius, a laticlavus, a broad-striper; a senior tribune assigned to the Eleventh Legion
The Centurions:
Decius Minatius Gemellus, praefectus castrorum, the prefect of camps of Caesar’s army
Tertius Piscius Malleus, “The Hammer,” centurio primus pilus of the Tenth Legion
Mamercus Tertinius Gelasius, centurio prior pilus, commander of the Tenth Cohort of the Tenth Legion and officer in charge of recruit training
Nerva, primus pilus of the Twelfth Legion
Sanga, centurio prior pilus, commander of the Third Cohort of the Twelfth Legion
Mettius Atius Lupinus, “Lotium,” commander of the Third Century, Second Cohort, Tenth Legion; no one dares call him Lotium to his face
Spurius Hosidius Quiricus, “The Oak,” centurio primus pilus of the Ninth Legion
Marcus Sestius, “Iudaeus,” centurio primus pilus of the Eleventh Legion; his nickname has nothing to do with his religious affiliation, but rather a wound he received in a rather awkward spot
Other Roman Officers:
Decimus Lampronius Valgus, “Bowlegs,” decurio in command of the cavalry of Caesar’s Praetorian Guard
Rubigo, “Rusty,” decurio in the legionary cavalry of the Tenth Legion
Flavus, “Whitey,” a Roman soldier from Cisalpine Gaul serving in the Twelfth Legion and briefly assigned to the Sequani Cavalry under Agrippa
TABLE OF CONTENTS
De Hospe Subito Praefatio
Preface: An Unexpected Visitor
I. De Spatio in Tartaro
Time in Hell
II. Hostes apud Amicos
Enemies among Friends
III. Ego Miles Romanus
I Become a Soldier of Rome
IV. De Itinere inter Alpes
We March across the Alps
V. Sub Patrocinio Caesaris
Under Caesar’s Patronage
VI. De Consequente Helvetiorum
Pursuit of the Helvetians
VII. De Clementia Caesaris et Offensione Antiqua
Caesar’s Clemency and an Ancient Provocation
VIII. De Calamitate Prima
The First Debacle
IX. Lente Festinamus
We Hurry Slowly
X. Scaena Caesaris
Caesar’s Drama
XI. Calamitas Itera
Another Disaster
XII. Bibracte
Post Scriptum
Military Latin
GAH’ELA, THE GAULS
The Aedui, the Aineduai, the “Dark Moon” People:
Duuhruhda mab Clethguuhno, uucharix, tribal king of the Aedui, and pobl’rix, clan leader of the Wuhr Blath, the Wolf Clan of the Aineduai; known to the Romans as Diviciacus
Deluuhnu mab Clethguuhno, brother of Duuhruhda, dunorix of the Aedui, commander of the garrison of Bibracte; known to the Romans as Dumnorix
Cuhnetha mab Cluhweluhno, buch’rix, “cattle king” of a small settlement east of Bibracte; pobl’rix, clan leader of the Wuhr Tuurch, the Boar Clan of the Aedui; pretender to the throne
Rhonwen, niece of Cuhnetha, a sassy redhead who catches Insubrecus’ eye
The Sequani, the Soucanai, People of the River Goddess Soucana:
Madog mab Guuhn, pobl’rix, rex gentium, clan leader of the Wuhr Wuhn, the White Clan of the Soucanai, and commander of the Auxiliary Sequani Cavalry; known as Madocus Dux to the Romans
Athauhnu mab Hergest, pencefhul, “leader of a hundred,” ala commander in the Auxiliary Sequani Cavalry commanded by Madog mab Guuhn; known as Adonus Decurio to the Romans
Emlun, Athauhnu’s nephew
Guithiru, one of Athauhnu’s veteran warriors
Alaw, one of the scouts
Rhodri, Alaw’s companion
Ci, “The Hound,” a veteran warrior and troop commander in Madog’s cavalry
Idwal, a friend of Emlun; a rider in Athauhnu’s troop
Dramatis Personae Aliae, the Other Players:
Aulus Gabinius, a senatorial mid-bencher who does well and is elected consul
Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, a triumvir, a partner of Caesar and an eminence grise in this tale
Marcus Licinius Crassus, a triumvir, a political partner of Caesar; too intent on going off and conquering Parthia to pay much attention to what Caesar’s doing in Gaul
Ebrius, “Drunk,” Caesar’s head military clerk and self-appointed taster of Caesar’s wine and posca collection
Clamriu, a horse
Gennadios the Trader, a Greek merchant from Massalia who introduces our hero to retsina
Evra, Gennadios’ woman from a mysterious island west of Britannia—not a redhead, but formidable nonetheless
De Bello Contra Helvetios Tabula
Map of the Helvetian Campaign
De Hospe Subito Praefatio
PREFACE: AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR
I broke my narrative to welcome a surprise visitor up from Italia, my former commander and comrade in the Gallic campaigns, Lucius Vipsanius Agrippa.
He is certainly grayer and a bit heavier than I remember him from our soldiering days, which is one of the reasons I have always refused ever to bring one of those speculum mirrors from the East into my home. If I do not have to see the physical evidence of my aging, I can still pretend that I am the same man I was when I was marching with the legions.
That is, until I have to move too quickly and my heart jumps up into my throat, or I try to leap a watery ditch and miss my stride by almost half a pes. My mind has not yet accepted the reality of my actual physical state.
Besides the physical changes, Agrippa was still the same good comrade I remember from our youth, just packaged in a somewhat rounder form. He even managed to charm Rhonwen, my darlin’ wife—or Flavia, as she is now called since becoming a Roman and moving down to this side of the Alps.
Charming Rhonwen! When Agrippa showed up on her doorstep unexpectedly with an entourage that included two bodyguards, a half-dozen slaves with livestock, and baggage, gaining her favor was no easy task. But, Rhonwen is still in many ways a Gah’el and understands her duties to the gods to offer hearth, bread, and salt to guests. Besides, Agrippa managed to say to her, in his halting Gah’el, “Festres uh bendit’ian uh duwiau uh bawb in uh ti hoon”—“The blessings of the gods to all in this house, Missus.” He said this as he tousled our son’s hair, announcing that he looked exactly as I did at that age—except better looking—and thus, he had Rhonwen eating right out of his hand.
The fact that Agrippa put his entire comitatus up at an inn just off the forum at his own expense certainly enhanced Rhonwen’s opinion of him.
Agrippa rarely leaves his family estate in Asisium these days. He broke with Caesar during the first civil war against the senatorial Optimates. Agrippa couldn’t stomach Pompey, but Agrippa’s Rome was the idealized republic of Cicero and Cato. After the war, Caesar pardoned him along with most of the junior officers who fought against him. Agrippa then retired to his farm, whether to avoid being placed on a proscription list or to shut himself off from what his Rome had become is anyone’s guess.
Agrippa didn’t leave his cloistered life—even after his younger brother, Marcus, went off to fight with Caesar’s adopted son and heir, Octavius, first against the “Liberators” at Phillipi, then against Pompey’s brat, Sextus, and finally against Antonius. Many believe that Octavius’ victory at Actium was achieved by Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, but stating such publically is at best risky when the Roman state is ruled by one who styles himself the princeps civitatis, the savior of the nation, the second Romulus, Augustus, the “exalted one.”
In my military career, I have served with all four men: Caesar, Lucius, Marcus, and Octavius.
Marcus was by far the best general; Lucius the best soldier and comrade.
Octavius was no soldier at all.
Octavius was always a politician, a negotiator, a maker of deals. Despite my assessment of him as a soldier, and even as a human being, my pietas to the state demands I recognize him as the only man who can control those self-serving idiots down in Rome and prevent Roman armies from slaughtering each other as they did so many times during my lifetime.
So, if Octavius wishes to be called Gaius Iulius Caesar Octavianus, filius Iuli divi, Augustus, Pater Patriae, the Second Founder of Rome, or whatever titles those senatorial boot-licks down in Rome come up with, it’s a small price to pay for lasting peace.
None of them are worth the mule shit that spattered Caesar’s cloak when he marched the legions north of the Rhodanus in pursuit of the Helvetii, into Belgica against the Nervii, across the Rhenus into the forests of Germania, across Oceanus into the land of the Britanni, across the Rubico, the river of blood, to set things right in Rome.
Had he lived, peace with Parthia would have been bought with steel, not gold.
Had he lived, had only I insisted on accompanying him to the Senate meeting at Pompey’s theater that day!
I’m not sure that Caesar’s lemur is at peace, despite the apparent success of his “son” and “heir” down in Roma. Or, it may just be my sense of guilt at not having been there when Caesar, patronus me’, needed my strong arm protecting his latus apertum, his unprotected side.
Obviously, Agrippa’s sudden appearance stirred up many things for me.
Agrippa said that he had come to me with a request from Octavius, which was passed to him through his brother, Marcus. Octavius is now my patronus, so a request from him is not quite a request. The fact that he used my old comrade from Gaul, Agrippa, as his messenger, is a sign that Octavius expects my concurrence in this matter.
But, more about that later.
Agrippa’s appearance reminded me of when we first met during Caesar’s campaign against the Helvetii. For both of us, it was our first military campaign. We were virgines, “cherries” as we say in the legions. He had just been assigned to the Tenth Legion as an angusticlavus, a narrow-striper, a junior tribune, and I had just finished my basic military training in Aquileia. As soldiers, we were green as grass; we still smelled of the farm. Real pagani.
Reviewing my notes, I see that I had broken my narrative just after I had run off to the legions in order to escape being arrested by Consul Aulus Gabinius on the charge of sacrilegium against a Roman magistrate and for an insult to his family’s auctoritas—charges which I was unlikely to survive. This, of course, was all a smoke screen
to obscure the fact that I had severely injured his son, Aulus Iunior, in a fight to protect myself from his bungled attempt to murder me. Iunior thought I had been the lover of his sister, Gabi, a pleasure which I had missed, despite my best bumbling efforts. So, he had decided to decorate the rostra in the forum Romanum with my coleones to recoup his family’s dignitas.
I joined a little band of returning veterans and legionary recruits and trudged through the winter landscape of the Padus Valley. We arrived at the legionary camps around Aquileia on the day before the Ides of Februarius, during the consulship of Lucius Calpurnius Piso Caesoninus and Aulus Gabinius, the winter of my sixteenth year.
Cossus Lollius Strabo, our officer, an optio returning from leave to the Eighth Legion, brought us to the castrum of the Tenth Legion, to which we were assigned. After some confusion over the daily password and Strabo’s authority as an officer, which the soldiers of the Tenth Legion seemed somewhat reluctant to grant to an optio of the Eighth Legion, we were escorted to the principia the military headquarters of Gaius Iulius Caesar, the army commander and proconsul of the province.
I.
De Spatio in Tartaro
TIME IN HELL
He were ushered into the principia tent, where a soldier in a brickred tunic was sitting behind a small field desk working with a pile of tabulae, wax slates. He looked up and told Strabo, “You may pass through, Optio.”
We passed into a large compartment behind the clerk. There were a couple of braziers warming the area and lamps illuminating maps hanging from the walls. A soldier with short, graying hair was briefing two younger soldiers while gesturing at one of the hanging maps. A fourth soldier seemed to be taking notes with a stylus in a hinged, diptych tabula. The older soldier looked over when we entered and snapped, “I will be with you presently, Optio. Laxa! Stand at ease!”
Strabo bunched us into a dark corner, out of the way. “The praefectus castrorum,” Tulli, one of the veterani who had reenlisted, hissed into my ear.