by Valia Lind
Having Superman's vision would so helpful right about now.
I creep over to the back side of the yard, keeping close to the fence. Taking my compact out, I scan the house from my vantage point, the feeling of uneasiness growing stronger by the second. It looks too calm, too perfect for my eyes. The cameras are very carefully camouflaged. Without my heightened powers of perception, I don't know if I'd be able to notice them. The people who live around this house definitely cannot tell, considering they're all flying high. I wish I could see the other side of the house, but my time is up. I have to get back now.
I race back over the wall, then make my way to the bathroom window. Pulling myself inside, I'm just in time. Katie was either told to check up on me, or genetically wired to not leave anyone for longer than three minutes because as soon as I'm inside, she knocks on the door.
"Just a minute." I call, keeping my breath even.
"You ready to head back?" Katie's cheerful voice comes through the door. "Joy is looking for us."
Ah, that explains it. Quickly, I grab the bug I left behind and the one in my ear, sliding both back into their slot on the compact. Then, I flush the toilet and wash my hands, all the while knowing Katie is right on the other side of the door. While the water runs, I shut the window and latch it, leaving it exactly how I found it. Yay for perfect memory.
When I open the door, Katie is there.
"I'm ready." I give her a wide smile as she leads me out of her house.
Suspicions confirmed, I feel better about taking the risks with this mission. If Calen can pull anything from the images I've gathered, I would feel even better. There's not much else I can do right now.
Except get out alive.
9.
When we get back to the main hub of the party, it seems to have collected even more people. It's closer to sundown now, and people are more drunk than sober. As soon as Katie pulls me back into the throng of people, I know I have to leave. However, I also know I need to make sure it’s not questionable.
If I leave this soon after going to Katie's house, it'll be suspicious. They will check up on what I did in that house and I'm sure they'll find something that will stop me from leaving this place intact. No matter how much I cover my tracks, I can't be too hasty.
"Did you enjoy your tour?" Joy asks as soon as we're within hearing distance. Katie brought us straight back to her. I look around the place, noticing Paul and his buddies strategically placed around the perimeter of the crowd, as if standing guard.
"Actually," I turn my full attention to Joy. "I didn't see as much as I would've liked. Mostly, I really needed to use the bathroom."
I lower my voice, hopefully sounding sheepish. Even though I don't know if Joy or Paul know my face from Foster, I'm still playing a role. It's what will keep me safe. But my words must've had the desired effect on Joy because I notice the slight change in her posture, the tension slipping out just a tad. She's reassured. At least for now.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Paul and his men take a relaxing breath. They're taking their cues off of Joy and once again I wonder just how much of a role she plays in this community and in Kallos. I've been careful not to touch or eat anything offered, but I'm thinking it's time to play up the whole bathroom comment I made.
"I would be more than happy to show you around, Sugar. Our house is right over there." Joy says, pointing in the direction Katie and I came from. Everything in me wants to take her up on her offer, but my time is up. If I don't get out now, I may never get out.
"I would love that, Joy." I plaster a smile on my face. "Could we possibly reschedule? I think the lunch I had earlier today is really making waves inside. I should leave before I ruin your party." I make a gesture toward my stomach before scrunching my facial expression into one of disgust. Understanding dawns on Joy and Katie's faces as they reach for me.
"Oh, poor you!" Katie exclaims, looping her arm through the crook of my own. I notice Joy glance over her shoulder, while I give Katie a sad smile.
"You all have been so nice and sweet! I am so very sorry I have to leave!" I swear the peppiness in my voice is actually making me sick. I'm hoping and praying that I can keep it up just a little while longer.
"Don't you worry, Sugar." Joy says, walking up beside us as we make our way to my car. "We can reschedule and give you an all out tour."
I don't read any hint of bad intentions from her and I'm curious. Why not? I'm a stranger and yet, she's acting like I'm part of the family of freaks already.
When we reach my car, Katie gives me an overenthusiastic hug. It saddens me how innocent she is, but I know I can't be taken in by the outward appearance. I'll have Calen do a thorough background search on her to determine just how innocent she is. Joy reaches over to give me a hug next and I can tell this one is just for show. She's not as genuine as Katie, but she knows how to sell it.
"Here's my card, Sugar. You give me a call and we'll set up a time for tea, what to do you say?" I'm pretty sure if I don't agree with a smile, Joy will pull out a gun and shoot me in the face. So I agree and smile.
The waves of emotion I've been trying to hold back all day are right on the edges. I have to get out before I lose it completely, so I grab my stomach as if it's in pain and bid them a quick goodbye. Once I'm in my car, I pull out quickly, with a quick backward glance. Joy is watching me with a calculated look and I know I've just added another name to my ever growing list of Kallos henchmen.
The guard waves me through without a question, no calculations in his eyes towards me. Paul and Joy are definitely involved. As well as Lucas. Katie...I don't know. She seems too happy to be involved. She was probably that sweet even before the drugs entered her system. I try to concentrate on the faces I've seen, pushing the information I've collected to the top of my mind, but no dice. The emotional rollercoaster has taken off.
I pull into the first alley I see, parking my car immediately. My head falls on the steering wheel and I struggle to catch my breath. I'm so proud of myself for keeping it together for the three and half hours I was in that community, but now, it feels like it's pouring out of me and I can't catch up.
Images of children in need assault my senses.
My hand squeezing the trigger, my gun aimed at Logan.
Foster's laughing face.
I gasp, fighting for control. I don't know how long I sit there, but the buzzing on my phone finally breaks through the fog in my brain. Covered in sweat, I wipe at my face before the drops can run into my eyes. I reach for my phone, noticing that I've missed four calls from Calen. I'm half an hour late and he's worried. They both are. After collecting my breath for a few more moments, I push send and turn the car back on.
"Tasia, thank goodness. Where have you been?" Calen answers even before the first ring stops sounding. I look behind me, pulling back out into the main street before I reply.
"Chill, Calen. I'm only thirty minutes behind schedule."
"Thirty minutes?" Calen yells, and I pull the phone from my ear just a bit. "Tasia, you've been gone for over two hours past your time of check in."
"What?" As soon as the question falls from my lips I realize it's dark out. Not like the sun just set, but as if it's been down for a while. He continues to rant, saying I should've found a way to check in if I was staying that much later. He's been thinking the worst.
"Calen?" I whisper interrupting him, my voice shaking. "What time is it?"
"It's eight thirty-seven, Tasia." He stops his rant, concern now laced through his voice. When I don't say anything else, he speaks again. "T, what's going on?"
"I don't know." I'm not easily afraid, but right now I can't mask the fear rushing through me. "I have no idea where I've been for the last two hours, Calen. I don't know what's happening to me."
* * *
Calen rented a room at a hotel and after I drop the car off for Uncle Freddie to get rid off, I take public transit to where they're waiting for me. When I step inside the room, Uncle Freddie is on hi
s feet instantly.
"You had us worried, Hummingbird," he says, wrapping his arms around me. I feel his body shake beneath my arms and I shut my eyes against the pain. I know this has everything to do with losing Blake. Both him and Calen see the worst case scenario without even trying.
"I'm sorry, Uncle. I don't...I'm not..." I stop because there's not explanation to what happened. I don't know what's going on and it's scaring me probably more than it's scaring them. Uncle Freddie nods in understanding before patting my arm and stepping back. I turn my attention to Calen, who hasn't moved since I came in. He's sitting on the bed, watching me like a hawk.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here, but I go and sit down next to him, reaching for his hand. He lets me take it, not meeting my eyes.
"You okay?" he asks, looking down at where both of my hands are wrapped around his.
"I'm not sure," I reply honestly. There's one person I will never lie to and that's Calen. Putting on a brave face in front of him is pointless because he sees right through it. Smiling through the tears is stupid because the tears will still fall.
"Tell us what happened," Calen says, finally raising his eyes to meet mine. I read panic there and pain. I hate that I put those feelings there. Uncle Freddie takes a seat in the chair opposite us, so I shift my attention to explaining what happened.
"I got inside the community, no problem. There are a few people there that I fully believe are not under the influence of any drugs. They're on Kallos payroll.
After mingling for a while I was able to get to the model home and see for myself. They have cameras around the perimeter as well as grid alarms. I couldn't get close enough, but I ran a scan with your compact, so hopefully we'll have something to show for my visit."
I stop, because next comes the part they're really waiting to hear and I'm not exactly sure how to explain it without sounding crazy.
"I told them I had stomach problems and I had to go home. When I left the neighborhood, I felt—unstable, I guess. I felt pretty unstable all day, but after doing my mini recon mission, I knew I had to leave because I was feeling evenmore unstable than usual. When I felt myself losing control, I pulled into the closest alley. I fought, I guess, for control. Leaning against the steering wheel, I took deep breaths and then you called. That's when you told me I was two hours late."
It's quiet for a moment while Calen and Uncle Freddie digest my words. Then Calen turns to me.
"You lost two full hours on one of your episodes. That's not something that's happened before."
"No, it's not. Usually, it's like a quick wave. I get super angry or super sad and then boom, I'm back. But not this time."
"We have to do more tests." This is directed at Uncle Freddie and I watch as he nods, his mind far away. I know he's going through everything they've discovered so far, trying to see if this is something he knows about.
"Let me take a sample of your blood back to the lab," Uncle Freddie finally speaks up. "You two can go back to the cabin and stay there until the tests come back." It's not a question and I don't feel like arguing anyway.
Uncle Freddie goes to get his ever present lab kit, while I stay on the bed with Calen. There's so much I want to say to him, so much that I should say, but mostly I want to stop causing him pain. I want to stop causing pain to those I care about.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, because it's really the only thing I can say. Calen turns to me sharply, keeping his eyes steady on mine.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Tasia. They did this to you. Remember that. I just—" he doesn't continue, but he doesn't have to. I understand and I tell him as much.
"It's worth it, Calen. All of this, it's worth it. Once I get Blake back, you two will disappear. She has to be in that house, it's the most logical place for her to be. When—"
"What do you mean disappear?" He interrupts, before I can outline my plan.
"After I get her back, you're done. Both of you."
"You don't get to decide that for us."
"Yes, I do. I should never have let you talk me into letting you help. I don't care what you say, but it is my fault. It'smymission and when I brought you onboard,I put you in danger."
"I'm pretty sure you're forgetting about this little thing called free will. You know there's no way you could've kept us from following you."
"I'm sure I could've done a few things." I smile dangerously, but it has no effect on Calen. He places his hands on my shoulders, peering down into my eyes.
"Get Blake back and then we'll talk."
I give him a firm nod and he releases my shoulders as Uncle Freddie comes back in. A part of me knows Calen is right, but a bigger part of me knows that I'm still to blame. I could've kept my secrets more guarded, but the truth is, I'm weak.
I wanted someone on my side.
I needed people to stand by me.
I didn't want to be alone.
So now here we are, and I'm paying for that weakness.
As Uncle Freddie prepares my arm for blood draw, I try not to think of every mistake I've ever made. My perfect memory may be an asset, but it's also a curse. I can remember every detail of every stupid thing I have ever done. While Uncle Freddie plunges a needle into my vein, I try not to think of another time I showed weakness.
The day I should've killed Logan.
10.
By the time we get back to the cabin, I can barely keep my eyes open.
My mind and body are exhausted, but I'm not the only one. I don't think Calen has really slept in the last week or so and it's starting to show. We dropped Uncle Freddie off at the bus station, after he promised to go straight to his lab and run tests. I'm worried about him being on his own, but he's safer alone than with me. Plus, he's good at being alone, which makes him good at hiding.
Calen doesn't say anything as we enter the cabin. He gives me a slow once over, then nods and walks toward his room. I wish there was something I could say to make it all better, but I have no words, of comfort or anything else for that matter. Not that words would really help at this point. I've put him through a ringer today. I hear his door shut, before I walk into the main room, heading for the computers.
Sitting down at Calen's work station, I run my hand over his discarded papers, before it comes to rest on his notebook.
Calen is notorious for keeping notes. However, he never just writes stuff out, he has his ownshorthand masterpiece. That's what he calls it and I almost smile thinking of the first time I heard him say that. I was thirteen and I was just discovering what my mind could really do. Maybe my mind was in shock for a long time, because after what happened to my family, my memory would come and go. Until one day, it just clicked. I didn't trust many people, not that I do now, but I told Calen I could quote a book we read earlier in the day. And not just quote, but repeat it, word for word, the whole book. He, of course, didn't believe me.
Being the boy that he was, and still is, he grabbed the book, turned to a random page and let me quote it. Which I did perfectly. I remember watching his eyes grow big in wonder, and then we tried it again and again. Blake was gone for the day, so it was just the two of us and we practiced till it was bedtime. Even after Blake came home, we didn't say anything to her.
That night, I couldn't sleep. My newly discovered power was just too much to take in, so I got out of bed and headed for the library. The place was just like you'd imagine any oldtime English library would look, tall dusty bookshelves, a comfy chair in the corner surrounded by books, lit by a small table lamp.
When I stepped inside, Calen was already there, writing in his notebook. I guess he had the same idea. He's always been brilliant and when I came in, I asked what he was doing. He said he had to write it out so it would make sense to him. I panicked a little, knowing that having this information about myself written down was dangerous, but he just shrugged it off, saying it was written in his "shorthand masterpiece" and I didn't have anything to worry about. He showed me his pages, so I could read what he had writt
en. It didn't take long for my brain to figure out how his system worked. To this day, I don't think Calen knows I that can read anything he writes.
All of these thoughts rush through my mind as I stare at the little book resting under my hand. It takes all of the self-control I possess to not pick it up and read his thoughts, but I can't stoop that low. I can't invade his privacy, his life, even more than I already have. But I want to.
I want to know what goes on in his mind, how he's coping. Anything to helpmehelphim.
Frustrated, I jump to my feet and begin pacing the room. I've made so many mistakes, I've involved too many people, I've hurt those I'm trying to protect.
I know what Kallos is doing is much bigger than just me. But at the same time I can't help but wonder what kind of a person am I to put those I care about in the line of fire? This question has been plaguing me since the day Blake was taken and I’m not any closer to the answer now, than I was the day she was napped.
Stopping in the middle of the room, I run a hand over my face in frustration. There's nothing anyone can say that will make it all better, but just like that, I know what I need to do right this minute.
I grab a piece of paper, jotting down a quick note to Calen so he won't worry. I run to my room where I left my bag, the need to get out of these pretty clothes a big one. Stripping down without missing a beat, I pull off my weapons as well.
Next, I tug my dark turtleneck down over my head, slip on a pair of black pants, and reach for my sheath. Wrapping it tightly around my leg is like receiving a warm hug. As soon as my knives are at my fingertips, I can breathe once again. After I zip up my boots, I slide two more knives on the inside, and another one in my belt. I grab my jacket and turn toward the door.