by Mel LeBrun
“Why's that? CIA doesn't let you have friends?”
“No. We can have friends. They encourage us to, at least to a certain extent. Helps cement our cover. Makes us look like average people.”
“So is it a trust issue then?” Michael asked.
“I guess you could say that.” Kristen's phone rang as she finished speaking. She answered it, listened for a few seconds and then hung up. “Your ID is ready,” she informed him. “I have to go pick it up.”
“Can I come?” Michael asked, knowing already the answer was no.
She gave him a look. “I'll be back in an hour.”
As soon as Kristen left, Michael felt lonely again. He missed Jessica and Tatiana. He missed holding Jessica. He missed her laughter, the mischievous giggle she would make when she was feeling playful and that almost always led to them fooling around. He missed tucking Tatiana into bed and hearing her tiny voice say “I love you, Daddy.”
The minutes slowly ticked by as Michael awaited Kristen's return. An hour and twenty minutes passed and Michael became concerned. Another fifteen minutes went by and Michael was getting ready to call Gatti when Kristen finally came through the door.
“What happened?” Michael asked clearly worried.
“My contact was late. Nothing serious. He was just being extra careful.” She held an envelope out to him. “Your ID and tickets.”
Michael took it from her and opened it. He looked at the passport and the plane tickets. “Guess I'm leaving tomorrow evening.”
Kristen gave him a smile. She seemed to want to say something but held back.
“Everything OK?” Michael asked.
She nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Everything's fine.”
Michael couldn't shake the feeling that there was something she was holding in. “You sure?”
“Yes,” she smiled. “Thank you for having dinner with me. It was nice to have someone to talk to.”
“Well, thanks for buying it.”
The two stood in strained awkward silence for a minute before Michael spoke again.
“Well, it's late,” he said. “I think I should probably get to bed.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “I should probably do that too.”
Michael went to his room and closed the door wondering what that was all about. He removed his shirt and pants and got into bed. He lay there thinking about Jessica. He imagined holding her again, kissing her. He thought about the baby and what it would be like. As he drifted off to sleep, his thoughts of Jessica carried over into a vivid dream of them locked in a passionate embrace. His arms were around her, holding her body tightly against his. He kissed her lips, her neck, her shoulder. But something in his dream didn't feel right. Something kept telling him to stop.
He awoke to someone in the bed with him. On top of him, to be more precise. As the fog lifted he realized it was a woman. He quickly shoved her off of him and leaped from the bed. He flicked on the light and saw it was Kristen, barely clothed.
“What the hell?!” he angrily shouted at her.
She appeared altogether shocked and humiliated. She sat stunned for a few seconds with her mouth gaping open before running from the room.
Michael was in complete shock. He just stood there trying to figure out if that really just happened. What was she thinking? Had she lost her mind? What could have possibly made her think that was OK?
Michael was now wide awake and as much as he wanted answers, he was afraid to have anymore interaction with Kristen. He feared she was mentally unstable and worried about what else she was capable of. He thought about calling Gatti and asking to get him out of there. He would be gone in less than twenty-four hours anyway, so Michael decided to just ride it out.
He barricaded the door with a rocking chair and tried to go back to sleep, which proved challenging as he obsessed over Kristen's bizarre behavior. Eventually he did succeed in falling back to sleep. When he woke again, he could see daylight. He removed the barricade and exited the room, relieved to find the apartment empty.
Michael felt less motivated as he bided his time until he could leave. Around one in the afternoon while watching TV, the front door opened and Kristen stepped in. Uneasy tension filled the room as she quickly shed her coat and shoes and the hurried into her bedroom without a word. Michael didn't even look at her.
An hour passed before Kristen came out and stood next to the couch where he was sitting. He avoided looking at her, trying not to engage her.
“Can I please talk to you?” she asked, a noticeable tremble in her voice.
At first, Michael didn't respond. He continued watching the TV as if she wasn't even there.
“Please,” she said again.
A few more seconds passed before he shut off the TV and finally looked at her. She looked tired and weary. Her eyes were red and puffy. Clearly she was upset.
“I am truly sorry for the way I acted last night,” she said strongly. “I was completely out of line.”
She waited for him to speak but he said nothing, which was the absolute worst thing he could have said. It meant she didn't even matter enough to hear how he felt, good or bad.
“Please say something,” she pleaded.
Michael sighed heavily and looked away. Kristen had just about lost all hope of getting a response when he finally looked back at her.
“What in the world made you think that would be OK?” he asked.
She struggled to form a reply and then finally just said, “I don't know.”
“Yeah, you do.” Michael wasn't letting her off easy. “You wanted to have this conversation, so let's have it.” He crossed his arms and waited.
She shrugged. “You're a guy.”
“You're kidding right?” Michael's scornful tone made his feelings quite clear. “You're an intelligent, educated woman who works for the CIA and who believes that every man on earth wants to have a one-night stand with a woman they hardly know? I'm supposed to believe that?”
She didn't respond at all. She merely stared down at the floor not wanting to admit he was right.
“Why did you even bring this up if you weren't going to talk?” Michael asked angrily.
There was still no response, and Michael was losing patience.
“For crying out loud if all you want is sex, I'm sure you could find twenty guys at the local bar who would be willing!”
“I don't want to have sex with some stranger in a bar!” she shouted back with such emotion it caught Michael off guard. She quickly took a deep breath and regained control of herself. Gritting her teeth, she looked away from him as she spoke again. “I'm sorry for how I acted. It won't happen again. I would appreciate it if you didn't report it but if you do, so be it.”
She returned to her bedroom and shut the door. Her reaction left Michael thinking the situation was a little more complex than he originally thought. He heard his phone ringing in his room and ran to get it. It was Gatti.
“Did you get your travel documents?”
“Yeah. When were you going to tell me?”
“Now.”
Michael grunted his disapproval.
“I can't risk you falling into Mossad's hands, Michael.”
“You're assuming I'll get caught.”
Gatti just laughed. “Right. How's your hostess treating you?”
“Fine,” Michael replied thinking maybe he should find out what was really going on before he ruined her career. “I have my own room for a change.”
“Don't get used to it.”
“Make any headway on Grekov's partner?”
“Nothing yet. Voice recognition came up with nothing. We're analyzing background noise to see if there are any clues.”
“This feels like such a waste.”
“I've been here before. We'll catch a break. Everyone makes a mistake at some point.”
“How long is that going to take?”
Gatti sighed. “That's the question.”
“Have you heard from Jessica?”
“I talked with Corvo. They're doing good. I'm arranging for them to get back into the country.”
“They're not back already?”
“Well. We sort of hit a snag.”
“What exactly does that mean, Tim?”
“Their run =-in with law enforcement got a whole lot more complicated once everyone figured out it was Dmitri and his friends.”
“Still not explaining much, Tim,” Michael said quickly losing patience. “Want to quit with the cryptic talk and tell me what's going on?”
“They couldn't cross over the mainland border like they had planned. But the good news is, I can get Jessica and Ana on a plane in Ottawa. They'll be in Boston by tomorrow.”
“What about the guys who wanted to kidnap them? And that mercenary team that went after Jinx? How are you going to protect my family in Boston?”
“The mercenaries are all dead. Dmitri and his friends took care of them. We've identified everyone who was with Renier's team and confirmed that they died at Jeffrey Bowen's. As far as the Russian agents, we put them on notice that we are aware of the planned kidnapping. I don't think they would dare try it now. But still, I will have a protective detail watching over her.”
“Where is she going to stay?” Michael asked.
“I called Kevin. He's on his way back home with the girls. With everything that Jess and Ana have been through I thought they might need some familiar faces. And Kevin could help with Ana.”
“How good is your protective detail?” Michael asked, still feeling uneasy since he wasn't there to look after her himself.
“Good, Michael. They'll be safe. Don't worry. I've been doing this a long time. Besides, it's you I'm worried about.”
“You really that worried about Mossad?”
“To be honest, yes.”
“Have they said anything?”
“No. And they won't. If I asked, they would deny it.”
Michael couldn't help feel a little worried for himself as well. “I'm sure I'll be fine. I just have to make it to the airport. That shouldn't be too hard.”
“Be careful, Michael. And don't underestimate them.”
“I'll keep a lookout.”
“OK. I'll call you before take-off.”
“Talk to you later.”
Michael came out of his room and noticed Kristen in the kitchen fixing up something to eat. He sat back down on the couch to continue watching TV without paying any attention to her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye move to the doorway of the kitchen.
“I was making lunch if you're hungry,” she said timidly, unsure what kind of response she would get.
He looked at her as if trying to decide if he should stay angry. Finally he shook his head and looked away. “I'll get it myself.”
She looked down at her hands and fiddled with her nails. “I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
“You don't,” he replied flatly. “Let it go.”
She remained in the doorway despite his words. “I need to explain,” she admitted.
Michael shut the TV off and looked at her again, not entirely sure he could trust her but her emotions seemed real.
“It's hard for me to feel close to people,” she began. “Because of what I do I have to hide a huge part of my life. My whole life here is an act. It's difficult to feel close to people when they don't know who you really are. It is for me anyway.” She looked into her hands as if her next words were written on them. “You're the first person I've talked to in years where I didn't have to hide who I was and what I did. It felt nice. I guess I just let it go too far. I'm sorry.”
“It sounds like you're lonely,” Michael said.
She nodded her head as she quickly dispatched a lone tear that dared to fall.
“I didn't report it and I'm not going to, so you can rest easy.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Let's just forget it happened.”
Chapter 34
By the time they reached Ottawa, neither Tatiana nor Jessica were coping well with being in the car. Jessica felt so sick she just wanted to die. Tatiana was so tired and traumatized by the whole experience she was on the verge of a meltdown. Everyone's nerves were frayed and since Jessica's flight didn't leave for another five hours, they decided to find a motel for a break.
A few phone calls later, Corvo rented a room for the night and they transferred from the truck to the motel. As Dmitri and Timur helped Ivan get settled in one of the beds, Jessica turned on the TV for Tatiana and gave her something to eat. Corvo stood by the window looking out at the parking lot through a small slit between the curtains. Jessica stepped over to him.
“Have you heard anything about my father?” she asked.
“Your father?” Corvo repeated.
Dmitri's head whipped over to Corvo. He quickly moved in, readying to intervene in the conversation if necessary. Corvo glanced at Dmitri behind Jessica and then back at her.
“What do you mean?” Corvo asked.
“He had been shot. We had to leave him behind. Do you know if he's OK?”
Dmitri shook his head no hoping Corvo would take the hint and not tell her anything.
“No,” Corvo answered. “I don't know anything about that. I can ask Tim next time I talk to him.”
“Could you? I really want to know if he's OK.”
“Yeah, sure.” Corvo smiled. “No problem.”
“Thanks.” She smiled back.
Jessica walked back to the bed and sat with Tatiana.
“I take it you know,” Corvo said under his breath to Dmitri.
Dmitri nodded.
“Who told you?” Corvo asked.
“Michael.”
“What else do you know?”
“Jinx,” Dmitri answered.
“You trying to keep it from her?”
“I think it's best, don't you?” Dmitri looked him in the eye.
“For Jessica, maybe,” Corvo replied. “Jinx has been begging Josh to kill her for days. She can't forgive herself for what she did.”
“It's not her fault.”
“That doesn't mean anything coming from us.”
Dmitri knew what Corvo was saying. Jinx wouldn't forgive herself, couldn't forgive herself until she heard it from Jessica herself. And even then it would still be a struggle. But until she received forgiveness from Jessica, it would be impossible to forgive herself. Though Dmitri didn't want to make Jessica upset, he also didn't want Jinx to continue suffering as she was.
Seeing Dmitri and Corvo huddled and talking softly, Jessica became curious. She left the bed again and walked over to them.
“What's going on?” she asked.
The men turned to her, but neither could bring themselves to speak.
“What are you keeping from me now?” she asked, feeling resentful at so frequently being kept in the dark.
Corvo looked at Dmitri and sighed. “We'll tell you in the bathroom.” He knew how emotional Jessica could get and how emotional she would likely get after hearing what happened to Jinx and was hoping to shield Tatiana from it as much as possible.
Jessica's curiosity and anxiety spiked. What could they possibly have to tell her that would require them to be in the bathroom?
“OK,” she agreed.
The three of them then walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Though she had no fear of Corvo and Dmitri, Jessica couldn't help feel a little outnumbered in the tiny bathroom with two men nearly twice her size. Dmitri made sure to keep himself between her and Corvo.
“What is it?” she asked again.
“Please sit,” Dmitri said.
“Just tell me what is going on? You're scaring me.”
“There's no easy way to say this, Jess, so I'm just going to come out with it,” Corvo said. “Jinx was kidnapped and tortured. She was forced to give up Dmitri's location not realizing you were there as well. That's how the mercenaries found you.”
“Wait, what?” Jessica couldn't believe it. �
�How do you know this?”
“Because we found her, Jess. Two days ago. They left her to die.”
“Two days ago!” She looked at Dmitri. “You said they were still looking into it.” Jessica desperately wanted to believe what Dmitri had told her was true and that Corvo must be mistaken somehow.
“I'm sorry, Jess,” Dmitri apologized.
Her jaw dropped. “You knew?” The look of betrayal that came over her actually made Dmitri feel pained at heart.
“Michael thought it would be best not to upset you.” Dmitri wasn't proud of it, but in that moment of weakness he totally threw Michael under the bus.
As reality hit her, she began to react as expected. At first a few tears.
“Where is she? Is she OK?” Jessica grabbed a few tissues to dry her eyes, trying to hold it together.
“She's in the hospital. Physically, she will recover,” Corvo answered.
“Emotionally?” she asked.
Anticipating her reaction, Corvo didn't readily answer. Dmitri hoped he wouldn't.
“She's suicidal,” Corvo finally said. “She feels horrible for what she did.”
Jessica finally broke down. She felt so bad for Jinx and wished she could just hug her and tell her how much she loved her and assure her that she didn't hold it against her. All was forgiven, let it go.
She slumped on the toilet and sobbed.
Dmitri knelt down next to her and put his arm around her. “She is alive, Jess. And she will recover.”
“I need to talk to her,” Jessica pleaded. “I need her to know I'm not angry.”
Dmitri looked up at Corvo, who was already dialing.
JINX HAD been transferred to the psych wing at the hospital. Everyone considered her a threat to herself, including Josh, who was terrified that she would kill herself if he brought her home. Though she had tried a few times to act as though she no longer desired to die, eventually her true feelings were made manifest again and it was clear she would try if given the opportunity. Hearing that Jessica and Tatiana were alive and well did little to absolve the guilt she felt for what she had done.
Josh kept constant vigil at her side. He spent his days holding her hand, stroking her hair and making sure she had everything she needed. He was laying with her in bed holding her when his phone rang.