From Ice to Flames

by Hargrove, A. M.

“Really?”

  “Yeah. You could’ve torn something, maybe your rotator cuff. Or it could just be a sprain.”

  “Oh no. I thought maybe it would get better in a little while.”

  “It might, but with the way it bothered you when I moved it, I think you should get it checked.”

  This was not what I needed, with work being at its peak right now.

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  “Come on. I’ll take you,” he said.

  “Oh, I couldn’t. I can go by myself.”

  “I won’t let you. I can tell you’re in a lot of pain. Let’s go.”

  He called his son and they went home to get their jackets. They were back in minutes and he escorted me out to a cab. We went to the nearest urgent care center where they X-rayed my shoulder and confirmed it was only a sprain. The doctor wasn’t one hundred percent sure I didn’t tear anything but said if I wasn’t completely better in a couple of weeks, to call in and they would order an MRI. He prescribed some pain medication and gave me a sling to wear that attached to my waist where my arm was locked in and immobilized. I was to wear it until it was better.

  “And ice, ice, ice, for twenty-minute intervals,” he also suggested.

  “No heat?”

  “No heat. Only ice. It’ll help a lot.”

  Hudson and Wiley were waiting when I came out and we stopped off at a pharmacy to get my pain medicine.

  “You’re going to need a dog walker, you know,” he said. “I know of one who’s really great.”

  “I think I can handle it.”

  “Milly, you’ll be on pain meds.”

  “I’m going to try to go without, unless it affects my sleep. I can’t take these and go to work.”

  He stared me down for a minute and then shrugged. I got the feeling he wasn’t happy with this decision, but there was no way I could talk to potential donors while high on pain meds.

  We pulled up in front of the apartment building and he helped me out. When we got to our floor, he asked if I wanted to come over.

  “Oh, I think I need to rest.”

  “You’re probably right. Why don’t I come over and get you some dinner?”

  “Er, okay. That’s really nice of you. And thank you for taking me.” I tried to muster up a smile, but I didn’t have one in me.

  “Hey, that’s what friends are for.”

  We walked into the apartment and I settled in on the couch. He wanted to know if I needed any special pillows.

  “I have one on my bed, if you want to get that for me.” It was weird sending him into my bedroom. I wondered if he was checking the place out. Did I leave any dirty underwear laying around? Ugh, I hope not. That wouldn’t do at all.

  He came back with my favorite pillow and asked, “Where are your glasses so I can bring you some water?”

  I directed him to the proper kitchen cabinet and he returned with the water, along with the prescription bottle. “What would you like for dinner?”

  “You.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Had I said that out loud? What the hell, Mills.

  I waved a hand. “You know, I’m not picky so whatever you and Wiley want.”

  Wiley overheard us and yelled, “Pizza.”

  I chuckled. “Have I told you how adorable he is?”

  “No, but don’t let the wild man’s looks fool you. He’s a handful too. Do you mind pizza?”

  “I love pizza.” I’d love anything you handed me.

  “Any particular kind besides pepperoni?”

  “Love the pepperoni.” And a big sausage, if it was yours.

  He took out his phone and placed the order.

  “I have beer and wine in the refrigerator, and sodas too, if you’d like some.”

  “Thanks. Are you okay?”

  “Uh huh.”

  He gave me an odd look, but I wasn’t sure why.

  We watched Wiley play with the dog and Hudson said, “He’s around dogs all the time, but this fascination he has for Dick is just weird.”

  “It’s the size. Everyone is blown away by how big Dick is.” We looked at each other, then cracked up. “My ex and that stupid name.”

  “You have to admit, it’s an ice-breaker,” he said.

  “Not always. Some people get offended.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “No. They don’t like that name for some reason. And I don’t know why. Some people are no fun at all.”

  “Then they don’t have much of a sense of humor.”

  “That’s what Ellerie says.”

  “Who’s Ellerie?”

  “She’s my sister.”

  We chatted about mundane things while we waited for the pizza. The pain pill was in full swing and pornographic thoughts of my neighbor kept popping into my head.

  “There’s no way I should take these if I go to work. I’m feeling hor…unk.” What the hell did I almost say? I can’t tell him I’m horny. What the fuck!

  “You’re what?” He looked at me oddly. And why shouldn’t he? Horunk?

  “Drunk.”

  “Can you take a day off?” he asked.

  “Not right now. We’re super busy getting ready for an important event so I can’t afford to miss a day.”

  He started to say something but the buzzer went off. “That must be the pizza. Do you mind handling that?” I asked.

  “Not at all.” He took care of the delivery and asked where the plates and napkins were. Then he made us all drinks and we sat at my small table to eat.

  “Thank you for waiting on me. I feel terrible about this.” I rather enjoyed it to be honest. But I didn’t share that little tidbit with him.

  “Don’t think of it. I hope your shoulder feels better.”

  “I’m sure it will.”

  “Daddy, maybe we should babysit for Dick,” Wiley said.

  “Wild man, I think Milly would miss her friend, don’t you?”

  “But … but who’s gonna take him to poop? What if he poops on her fwoor and she steps in it wike you did when Fwimsy did that.” Then he giggled. I snorted because the look on Hudson’s face was priceless.

  “Oops. Kids,“ I said, smiling. “They like to share a lot. I wonder what else Flimsy did.”

  “She chewed up Daddy’s underwear.”

  “She did?” Sure wish I could’ve seen him without it.

  “Yeah, and he got mad at her and put her back in her crate.” Wiley’s eyes were a story themselves.

  “Wiley, I’m not sure Milly is interested in Flimsy’s chewing habits.”

  “Oh, but I am. Has she eaten anything else lately?”

  “She tried to eat Bebop’s gwasses, but Daddy saved them.”

  “Bebop?” I asked.

  “My dad,” Hudson said. “And it was a good thing I caught her because that would’ve been an expensive chewing episode.”

  “Sounds like Flimsy is full of mischief.”

  Wiley said, “I don’t know what that is, but she used to get in trouble all the time. Maybe Dick could wear a diaper so he wouldn’t poop in the house.”

  Hudson snapped his fingers. “I was supposed to call the dog walker I knew for you.”

  “That’s not necessary. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to walk him.”

  “How about using him for the next week or so and then seeing how you feel. He would be a big help.”

  “Okay, and then I’ll do it myself.”

  “I’ll call him now.” He reached in his pocket for his phone and made the call. When he was done, he said, “Chad will be here tomorrow morning at seven. He’ll come back at noon, six, and ten-thirty. Is that good?”

  “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

  “I’ll walk Dick tonight and then Chad will handle it for you. He said he could do it for as long as you needed him.”

  “Great. Thank you for doing all of this.” A huge yawn escaped me before I knew what hit.

  “And I think that’s our cue. I’ll be back around ten-thirty to walk th
e dog. Where is your phone?”

  I started to get up to grab it off the coffee table in front of me, but he saw it sitting there and stopped me. After I unlocked it, he held out his hand. When I passed him my phone, our hands touched, and I felt how warm his was. I wondered what it would’ve felt like for it to have brushed across my nipple. It must’ve been the painkillers because I had an urge to grab onto it and hold it. Thank God I didn’t. That would’ve been weird. As soon as he entered his number, he handed the phone back to me.

  “Thanks for your nipple.”

  “What?”

  “Your number,” I rushed to say, pointing to my phone.

  “Right. I’ll call you before I come. No surprises that way.”

  “I really don’t know what to say.” What I wanted to say was ‘why don’t you just spend the night so we can fuck our brains out?’ But that wouldn’t have been too cool with Wiley here.

  “Daddy says you’re always supposed to say thank you,” Wiley said.

  “Your daddy’s right. Thank you, Hudson. I really appreciate all your help.” My lips felt numb. Did I sound as loopy as I felt?

  It was awkward saying goodbye. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was the way his eyes kept staring at me. Maybe it was my imagination. It was probably those stupid pain pills. I wouldn’t take them after today. They made me feel and think things I shouldn’t, and Hudson was not someone I should be feeling anything for.

  Chapter Eight

  Hudson

  Leaving her was not a good thing. Her shoulder was in bad shape, even if it was only a sprain. I knew enough about those from my training to know how much pain they caused in the first few days. Animals handled pain better than humans did, so I was positive she was putting on a good front. Not to mention she was drunk as hell on those pills.

  I put Wiley to bed way past his usual time because of the urgent care visit. He had school in the morning, so I rushed through his bath and got him to bed an hour late. He was going to be a cranky ass in the morning.

  At ten-thirty, I texted her to let her know I was coming over, but she didn’t respond. I decided to call her in case she was asleep.

  “Hello,” a groggy voice answered.

  “Hey, it’s Hudson.”

  “Oh, hey.”

  “I texted, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Um, sorry. I fell asleep.”

  “You okay?”

  “Sure. Those pills knocked me out cold.”

  “They do that. Is it okay if I come over to walk Dick?”

  “Oh, my God. I forgot about that. I’m so sorry. And yes. I’ll open the door.”

  “Milly, take your time. You don’t want to fall or anything.”

  “Fall?”

  “Those pills make you dizzy.”

  “Right. Okay.”

  Wiley and I had a thing about when I walked the dogs. If he woke up while I was gone and needed me, he was to call me. I left his special phone next to his bed. He also could call downstairs to the doorman. We had great security here and I’d arranged with them that while I walked the dogs at night—and only at night—if they got a call from him, it would only be in the case of an emergency. I told him before he went to bed that I would be walking Dick tonight, and then our dogs. I double-checked to make sure the phone was there before I left.

  When I opened the door, Milly was already standing in her doorway. “Do you want me to stay with Wiley while you’re gone?”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Not at all. My goodness, you’re walking my dog.”

  “That would be great.”

  She came into the hall and I held my door open for her. “Don’t let the dogs jump on you. If they try, use your deepest voice and tell them to lay. They’re usually very obedient.”

  “I will. And thank you again for all you’re doing. Dick is pretty fast.”

  I took his leash and hit the elevator. As she said, he was quick. One trip around the block and all his business was handled. All Dick needed was a strong hand. His size made him more difficult to handle. But a good trainer could help with that. He was actually a very good dog.

  Milly was sitting with my three when I got back upstairs.

  “Thank you. I hope he wasn’t a problem.”

  “Not at all. He was quick, like you said. Chad will be here in the morning so you might want to set your alarm if you take those pain pills.”

  “Good idea. I can stay until you get back if you’d like.”

  “It’s fine. Wiley and I have a system with the phone and the doorman downstairs, in case something happens.”

  She smiled and I walked her to her door. For some odd reason, I felt like I’d been on a date. Should I kiss her cheek, shake her hand, or what? Thankfully, she handled it by waving goodnight.

  After I walked my own dogs, I got into bed and flipped off the lights with all intentions of falling right to sleep like I usually did. Nothing doing. All I did was think of Milly—how sad her eyes seemed to be. Had she gone through some traumatic experience or did she just look that way, sort of like Dick. I’d always thought dogs often resembled their owners and Dick had that melancholy demeanor to him. Maybe she was meant to own him because of that. But I didn’t think that was it because I sensed a deep sadness within her. She was comical at times, but there was something else there. I knew it because I had lived it—was still living it.

  There was something about being eviscerated that made you more perceptive. It made it easier to sense it in others. My breath caught and froze in my throat. It had been three and a half years and here I was, still locked in this fucking shit show my ex-wife had left behind. I asked myself—did I do too much, did I do too little? How had I not seen the signs? Was I so self-immersed that I’d let things go and she’d wandered away from me? But then I thought back to the way I’d treated her, and I remembered doing thoughtful things … things that had made her happy. I’d bought her costly gifts, took her on expensive trips, made sure she was satisfied in bed. I’d loved her, dammit. She’d never wanted for a single thing. Even after Wiley was born, I’d made sure she wasn’t stressed out. I’d hired a nanny and housekeeper for her and she hadn’t even worked. I’d constantly asked, to make sure it was what she’d wanted and she assured me it was.

  Then she said she was bored and wanted to work. I supported her in anything she asked for. She loved art and went to work in a gallery. Until one day, I came home to an empty house. No Lydia, no nanny, no Wiley, no furniture other than what was in the nursery. Besides that, everything had been cleaned out. She’d left a solitary note that told me where my son was. Wiley and the nanny waited for me in a hotel room with strict instructions not to call me. By the time I arrived, the nanny was so upset. She informed me that Lydia sent her there and said she was to remain there until I arrived. The nanny handed me an envelope. Inside was a letter.

  Hudson,

  I am leaving. You can have Wiley. I won’t contest a divorce or custody.

  Lydia.

  That was all it said. I called her, but the number had been disconnected. I immediately called my brother, Pearson.

  “She what?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Everything’s gone?”

  “Yes!”

  “Hudson, sit down.”

  “I can’t.” How in the hell could he ask me to do that? My wife just left me without any kind of an explanation.

  “You have to. Are you sitting?”

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “Have you checked your bank accounts, investment accounts, anywhere you have money?”

  “No. I just discovered this.”

  “Hudson, I’m not talking about today. I’m talking about over the last several months.”

  “You know I hate that kind of thing. It’s why I have a broker.”

  “Is she listed on your accounts?”

  I rubbed my face. My eyes burned like fire. “Yes. I added her when we got married. She was pregnant, so I wanted to be sure if anything happened
to me, well, you get the picture.”

  “You need to log into your accounts and check every single one.”

  “There’s a problem. I don’t even have a computer, except for the ones at work.”

  “Fuck. She’s really fucked you.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know. Look, I need to get off here and get Wiley home. The nanny is still here.”

  “Where are you?”

  “The hotel.”

  “Hotel?”

  “I’ll explain later.”

  “Right. Call me back as soon as you can.”

  As I came to find out, she had drained what she could access. And I never saw her again. Pearson handled everything. He sued for divorce and sole custody on the grounds of abandonment. It took a year, but we won. The question I asked myself all the time was did I really win? I was the father of a little boy who’d never know his mother and all because she wanted … what? I’d never know because she never had the decency to tell me. Who could do that to their own flesh and blood? And that little guy was the most precious thing alive. I could barely leave him in the morning to go to work, and yet she had willingly chosen to walk away from him for the rest of his life. Had I been that bad of a husband? All I know is she washed her hands of us and I didn’t hear from her for over two years—until she needed money. But that would never ever happen.

  Then I thought about Milly and her situation. What had she experienced to put that pain in her eyes? She talked about an ex. Did it have to do with him? Was he the source of it? Checking the clock, I noticed it was after one. Maybe I should’ve offered for her to stay here for the night. But that would’ve opened a door I’d rather remain closed and she might put more meaning into the gesture than just some neighborly concern. I punched my pillow, trying to get comfortable and rolled onto my side. But sleep would not visit.

  Then my phone buzzed. This was disturbing since it was so late. Milly’s name was on the screen, so I didn’t waste time in answering.

  “Hello.”

  Nothing.

  “Milly, are you okay?”

  No response. But I heard voices, a conversation in the background. She was talking to someone, another woman. She must’ve dialed me by accident.

  “Ellerlie, how could he do this to me?”