From Ice to Flames

by Hargrove, A. M.

  “MarnieMom?” He explained where the name came from. “Shit.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

  “Exactly.”

  “Hudson, I’m really sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re just the nice lady who happened to move in next door. My son is everything to me and I can’t let him lose again.”

  I pressed a hand to my heart. “No, I totally get it. His tiny heart couldn’t take it.” I thought about my grown-up heart and knew it couldn’t take it, but a little boy. How would he survive that a second time? “What should we do?”

  “The logical part of me says to run, but my heart says to stay. I don’t think running is the answer either. Grey and Marin didn’t exactly have an easy time of it, but they pulled through and there were kids involved. Grey’s story was pretty ugly too. His wife was killed in a plane crash.”

  “Oh, God. That’s terrible.”

  “It was rough going for a while, but he managed.”

  After hearing that, my life wasn’t so bad after all. A plane crash? And he had two kids to deal with.

  “But there was a whole other issue that I won’t even go into. Marin was a godsend. She saved him.”

  My heart flipped under my ribs. “Aw, that makes me so happy for them.”

  “Yeah, it was a very good thing for them both, and the kids too.”

  The whole kid thing brought tears to my eyes and suddenly I was bawling my eyes out.

  “Hey, I thought it was a happy story.”

  Nodding, I squeaked, “It was.” I sniffed. “You don’t understand. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to become a faucet.” He got out of bed and came back with some tissues. “Thanks.”

  “Want to give me some idea what this is all about?”

  Was it time to open up my ugly bag of secrets?

  “Hudson, you don’t want to hear my sappy story.”

  He took my chin between his thumb and fingers. “You’ve heard mine, why wouldn’t I want to hear it?”

  Grabbing a handful of the sheet, I covered up my face. “I don’t know.”

  He pulled it back down. “What?”

  “I don’t know. It hurts my heart just to think about it. But talking about it is …” The salt of my tears already stung and it would only get worse. My throat clogged with the awful memory.

  “Tell me. Maybe I can help.”

  My stomach was raw again. “You can’t. No one can.” I swallowed the clotted mess. “Harry and I had problems and I thought maybe, just maybe if I got pregnant, you know, it might fix things. It was stupid, I know. But I’d always dreamed of having kids. Longed for them, really. Harry was the one who didn’t want any, but I figured maybe if he saw me pregnant, he’d change his mind. Another really dumb idea. So I stopped taking the pill. We barely had sex, so what were the odds anyway? As it turned out, they were in my favor. Imagine my shock. I didn’t even know until I was a few months along because I was still getting spotty periods. But then I started gaining weight to where my clothes didn’t fit. It was Ellerie who suggested I might be pregnant. Needless to say, Harry was pissed. Furious, actually. I didn’t get it, but now it makes sense. He wanted out because of that other woman. Having a baby meant being tied to me longer. As it turned out, he didn’t have to worry. I lost the little guy in my eighth month. I was sitting at my desk at work when it dawned on me I hadn’t felt the baby move in some time. He’d been so active, kicking the hell out of me. I called the doctor and they told me to come right in. They couldn’t detect a heartbeat.” The dam really broke this time and I completely lost it. Through my sobs, I said, “They had to induce labor, so I could give birth. The cord had wrapped around his neck. Harry ended up divorcing me after that.”

  Hudson didn’t say a word. What could he say? He just pulled me into his arms and held me as I sobbed for the son I’d lost … the one I would never know.

  “You see, Hudson, you don’t ever have to worry about me not understanding the importance of Wiley in your life.”

  “Jesus, Milly. I don’t know what to say.” His voice sounded broken, even to my ears.

  “There isn’t anything to say. You’re one of the few people I’ve told this to. I never bring it up. It’s a wound that will never heal.”

  He cupped my cheeks and kissed me gently on the lips. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine going through that. And for what it’s worth, your ex is a piece of shit.”

  “You’re right about that.”

  He didn’t say a word for a while. He just held me and rubbed circles on my back. It was nice him just being there and exactly what I needed. I didn’t want words of sympathy, because there were none to ease the suffering. I’d put my own Band-aid on it when it happened, and it was working for me. I didn’t want his pity either. I wasn’t that type of person. I only wanted his understanding and as a parent, I think he got it.

  After I was finally drained of tears, he asked, “How about baby steps?”

  “What?”

  “You and me. Why don’t we take baby steps? Wiley already loves you. He talks about you all the time. First it was your Dick, then it was you and your big butt.”

  That brought a chuckle out of me. “Did I mention your son has a thing for the girls?”

  “He takes after his old man.”

  “When we were talking the other night, he told me about every girl in his class, including the one with purple hair like mine.”

  Hudson picked up a piece of my hair and said, “Yeah, he thinks your hair is purple. I wonder if he got that from Marin when she had rainbow-colored hair.”

  “She had rainbow-colored hair?”

  “It was actually neon colored.”

  “I can’t imagine her with hair like that.”

  “Kinsley loved it. She wanted hair exactly like it.”

  “What girl wouldn’t?”

  “Hey, don’t get any ideas. Your hair is perfect the way it is.”

  “Damn, are you bossy.”

  “That’s right. I am where my woman is concerned.”

  “Your woman, huh?”

  “There’s no sense fighting it.”

  For some reason, that made me warm all over. But there was also a little boy at home I needed to consider. We had to be very careful about this relationship because of him. My heart was already in too deep and if we continued this course, it would only get worse.

  “Are you regretting tonight?” he asked, reading my mind.

  “Not at all.”

  “Then us?”

  How should I answer this?

  “Not us, either. But I can’t lie. I’m scared out of my mind.”

  “Baby steps, remember?”

  “Yeah, baby steps.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Hudson

  Two weeks later, Monday morning dawned with a brightness that put a smile on my face. The day promised to be bright and warm, as the sky was cloudless and a perfect azure that reminded me why this was my favorite time of year. The Critter Clinic took up a quarter of a city block. In Manhattan, that was ridiculous. I was lucky when I found this building, and with my dad’s help, along with some of my savvy investing, I’d been able to afford it. I’d outfitted it to what I’d thought would turn into a thriving veterinary practice. My crystal ball had hit the bullseye. When I walked up to the office door, someone had left a little present for me. It was in a box right in front of the clinic and it contained a blue-gray French bulldog puppy. It was whining like the devil, so I picked the little thing up to discover it was a male. He was shivering, no doubt cold and scared, and I wondered how long he’d been there. This was an expensive breed so I couldn’t imagine anyone abandoning him.

  After keying in the code, I went to give the little one some food and water. He lapped it up in a hurry, making me wonder if he’d been out there all night. The rest of the staff trickled in and we tried to hunt down the owner or breeder of the pup, or see if there were any reports of a missing Frenchie.

  My day
wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but by the end of it, no one could seem to find anything on the puppy.

  “Anyone want a dog?” I asked.

  As much as we all thought he was adorable, no one volunteered.

  Then Dottie suggested, “Do you think Milly would want him?”

  “I’m not sure she wants a puppy having Dick too.”

  “One look at this, and she’ll fall madly in love.”

  That was difficult to argue with, so I took the little guy home with me. When I walked in the door, Wiley went crazy.

  “Did you get us a new puppy?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure. I’m going to see if Milly wants him.”

  He was so excited, he wanted to take it to her immediately.

  “Before we do that, kiddo, I want to get her all the things he’ll need, like a collar, leash, some food, bowls, and a new puppy bed. Let’s walk the dogs, and then go to the pet store.”

  “Yeah.”

  We gathered the dogs, including the new pup, and took them out for a walk. Since he was so young, you had to be careful what he was exposed to and I wasn’t sure about his vaccinations either. He appeared to be about four or five months old.

  “Can we take him with us to the pet store?” Wiley asked.

  “I don’t see why not.”

  When we returned, Wiley wanted to put a bow on the little guy’s head and take him to Milly’s.

  “Slow down, buddy. Let’s pack all his stuff up and what if she doesn’t want him?”

  His crestfallen expression almost made me tear up. “You don’t think she’ww wike Widdle Dick?”

  “Little Dick? Is that what you want her to call him?”

  His head dipped up and down. “It’s the best name.”

  I doubted she’d want two dogs named Dick. I was sure she’d want to name him Chester, but I didn’t want to be the one to burst my little guy’s bubble.

  “Come on, Daddy, wet’s go.”

  We collected all the things we bought, and I let Wiley be in charge of the pup.

  “Ring the bell, dude.”

  The door opened, and Wiley said, “You’re not Miwwy.” A woman stood there who closely resembled Milly.

  She glanced between the two of us. “Indeed, I’m not. But you must be Wiley and I’m pretty sure that’s your dad.”

  “Yep. But I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. Are you a stranger?”

  “I suppose I am, aren’t I? My name is Ellerie and I’m Millie’s sister. Now maybe we’re not strangers.”

  “Okay, Ewwerie.”

  Oh boy. That was a tough one for him.

  “And this is Widdle Dick.”

  Ellerie stuck her tongue in her cheek. “It is?”

  “Yep. He’s cute, isn’t he?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer before he asked, “Is Miwwy home?”

  “She is, but is the puppy for her?”

  Ellerie glanced up at me and smiled. “I’m Hudson, Wiley’s dad, and the neighbor.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Hudson. Come in.”

  She waved us through and I said, “I didn’t know you were planning a visit.”

  “That’s because I wasn’t. It was a surprise.”

  Milly came out of her room and said, “Hello there.”

  “Miwwy, we brought you a Widdle Dick.”

  Her eyes bulged, and I noticed her trying to hold back a laugh.

  “I should explain,” I hastily said. “I found this little guy on the doorstep to the clinic this morning. So I figured he could use a good home. Maybe we can share him?”

  Wiley held him out, his tiny arms extended, waiting for her to take him. This wasn’t a good sign because she just stood there like her feet were growing roots into the floor.

  “Don’t you wike him, Miwwy?”

  “Um, yes, he’s adorable.” She took him in her hands and snuggled him under her neck. The little pup wagged his tail and licked her. “Who could leave something so cute?”

  “I don’t know. I checked everywhere for a missing puppy, and even had him scanned for a chip, but nothing. He’s yours if you want, but no pressure of course.”

  Ellerie came up to her and petted the little thing on the head. “Oh, Milly. This is perfect. I told you to get a puppy before Dick came here. And this one will only get … how big?”

  “Twenty pounds,” I said. “Frenchies usually get that size. Of course we don’t know how big his parents were, so it’s a guess, but that’s an average.”

  “Mills, that’s perfect for an apartment.”

  “I don’t know. Two dogs are a bit much.”

  “But that’s exactly why you need him,” Ellerie insisted. “He’ll keep Dick company.”

  Milly stuck her nose into his short fur and sniffed. “He needs a bath.”

  “We can hewp, can’t we Daddy? And we can hewp with the other stuff too.”

  I grinned at Wiley’s excitement. “Yes, we can.”

  “We can show you how, Miwwy.”

  “Okay, I’ll do it, but only if you promise to help. And Wiley, I really need to name him something other than Little Dick to keep it less confusing. Can we name him Chester?”

  Wiley shrugged and said, “I guess so.” Then he clapped his hands as I pulled out the puppy shampoo and prepared everything for a bath. We filled up the kitchen sink and quickly bathed the little thing. He wasn’t very happy and that warmed Milly up to him instantly, as he squealed his way through the process.

  “Ahh, it’s okay Chester. We’re just getting the cooties off of you,” Milly said.

  “What are cooties?” Wiley asked.

  “Germs,” Milly said. “Dirt and bad things.”

  “You mean fweas?”

  She whipped her head toward me and asked, “Does he have fleas?”

  “Nah, I already checked and just to be safe, started him on flea medicine too.”

  “Good, because the last thing I need in here are fleas.”

  After we were finished, she wrapped him in a towel to dry him.

  “Wook how cute he is.” Wiley reached to pet him.

  “Here, why don’t you take him and dry him for me.” Beaming, Wiley sat on the floor, the pup in his lap, and rubbed him dry. Then he let him go and laughed as Chester shook off the remaining water.

  “He’s adorable,” Ellerie said. “Look at him, Mills. He’s precious.”

  “He really is. I hope I’m capable of raising a puppy. I’ve never done this alone.”

  “You can do it. You’re great with Dick and this one will be easy,” I said. “Tonight and tomorrow may be a little rough because it’s his first night here, but after that, he should be fine.”

  “Ugh, I remember that now. He’s going to cry, isn’t he?”

  “Probably. But keep him in his crate, because that’s his safe place, and take him out before you go to bed and at three in the morning. If you want, I’ll go with you.”

  “You will?”

  “Yes, so you don’t have to walk him alone. You’ll only have to do this for a couple of weeks. Then he should be good from midnight to six. After another two weeks, you can stretch it from midnight to seven. No water after six at night.”

  After giving her instructions, we stayed a bit longer and then left. It was getting to be Wiley’s bedtime, so I told her if she needed anything to give me a call.

  “I’ll knock at three for his walk.”

  “Thank you, I think,” she said.

  “You two are going to be great friends.”

  Her sister gave me the high five behind her back, so I knew I’d done the right thing.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Milly

  Chester was precious. Slick blue-gray fur that was soft as silk with eyes that would melt a glacier. But what in the world was I going to do with a puppy?

  “I know that look. You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?” Ells asked.

  “Ugh. This is insane. Chester and Dick. What was I thinking?”

  “Mills, t
his is perfect timing. You needed a distraction today.”

  “Hey, thanks for not mentioning the real reason you’re here. I don’t want to sound all weepy and whiney.”

  “Are you serious? The world ended when you lost your son. Not to mention, Harry was about as helpful and compassionate as a rock. I’d still like to twist his balls until they popped.”

  “Too late for that unless you want to go to London.”

  “At least we know why he was so uncaring.”

  I raised a shoulder. It’s weird because I didn’t really give a damn about him anymore. “He’s not worth my time and energy.”

  Ells grinned. “That’s a new and refreshing attitude.”

  “But it doesn’t remove the burden of Chester.”

  “When this dog is full-grown, you’re going to wonder how you ever lived without him. These are great dogs.”

  “How would you know? Are you a dog expert now?”

  She shrugged. “Call it intuition. Besides, how can you resist those eyes?”

  I set him down, he looked up, then walked around in a circle, and promptly peed on my expensive rug.

  “See what I mean? I had no clue he wanted to pee.”

  “I don’t think he did either. He just liked that expensive rug.”

  I conjured up my best evil eye.

  “Come on, Mills. You have to admit. That tiny amount of puppy pee isn’t going to ruin a thing.” Ells was on her knees cleaning up the quarter sized mess Chester had gifted me. “Remember the gallon sized amounts Dick made?”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “You won’t have anything close to that. Baby Chester will be easy peasy.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise,” Ellerie said. And I felt like I was twelve again and she was holding a bottle of antiseptic over a scratch, telling me it wouldn’t burn. I knew she was lying, but she didn’t have the balls to tell me the truth because she knew I’d bolt. “You’re going to love this dog like nothing before.”

  “Chester will never replace Dick.”

  “He can’t. Dick is irreplaceable.”

  I clapped a hand over my mouth and gasped.