“Milly, this is the strangest time and the strangest place—in my parents’ house, and my son’s bed for Christ’s sake—but I swear to God, I love you. I never thought this would happen, but every time I tried to deny it, all I could think of was how my life is so much better, has so much more meaning with you in it. Your face was the last thing I would see when I closed my eyes at night and the first thing I’d think of when I opened them in the morning. And then I see you with my son, how selfless you are, you’re the whipped cream on my sundae. You own my heart, Milly. You’re mine from beginning to end, like it or not.”
I didn’t know what else to do, so I put my hands on his cheeks and kissed him. It was supposed to be a quick, chaste kiss, but it ended up being much more. I tried to end it a few times, but he wouldn’t let me. I knew he wanted me. His erection pressed against my stomach and we were pretty much dry humping each other. If this didn’t stop, he would be banging me in his son’s bed. Nope—that wouldn’t do at all.
I jerked my head away, panting. “Hudson, I love you too.”
His frosty blue eyes were glazed over.
“Do you really mean that?”
“I would never say it if I didn’t.”
“This has been so unexpected,” he said. “But they say the best things happen when you’re not looking for them.”
“My Prince Charming finally arrived.”
“Prince Charming? You believe in fairy tales?” He brushed the back of his knuckles across my cheek.
“Never until you, but you changed all that.”
“I have to tell you something. Wiley told me you loved me.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. I asked him why he said that. And he said because you gave me all the best pizza pieces.”
“Aww, that’s so cute.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Give me all the best pizza pieces?”
“I may be guilty of that.”
“I knew you were a good woman.”
“Only a good woman?”
“Okay. A fantastic woman.”
“That’s much better.”
We both heard someone clearing their throat and looked over to see Paige standing there. “You two coming down? I mean, you don’t have to, but Wiley was just wondering.” Her smug grin had us both scrambling off the bed.
“Yeah, Mom. Coming.” We followed her downstairs.
Hudson whispered to me, “Oh, man, is she in heaven now.”
I wondered if she heard our declarations of love too. If so, she would be hounding him for wedding dates. I was glad she wasn’t my mom.
* * *
A couple of weeks later I was playing catch with Chester in the bedroom and the ball accidentally rolled under the bed. He whined and whined and would not crawl under there to get it. Maybe it was because of the dust ruffle, or maybe he thought the bed was too low. I got down on my hands and knees and at first, I couldn’t see it. Using the flashlight on my phone, I located it, along with several other items. Stretching my arm underneath, I scooped them out.
As soon as I did, I wished I hadn’t. Chester went off with the ball, but I sat on the floor, stunned. One of the items was a framed picture of Ells and me, and the other was my pack of birth control pills, the same one I hadn’t been taking since … my mind reeled as I tried to think, tried to grasp how long it had been.
THINK, MILLY, THINK, my brain screamed. My heart was palpitating. Blood pounded in my ears. I couldn’t breathe. I pinned my gaze onto the date on the pack. I held it up and stared at the last week I’d missed. And that wasn’t counting the placebo week. Then the puzzle pieces fell into place. The last pill I’d taken had to have been the day Dick was hit by that car. Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit. That was over six weeks ago. Right after the event. I was so fucking fucked. My hands went straight to my belly. When was my last period? I hadn’t paid attention, because … why hadn’t I paid attention? Oh, yeah. I was on the stupid pill that I hadn’t been taking. What the fuck was wrong with me? How could I have been so stupid? I kept the damn pack on my nightstand so I would remember because I was so absent-minded when it came to them. How could I have let this have happen?
Thinking back, I remembered how in my haste to help Hudson that night, I grabbed my phone, which had been charging on my nightstand and knocked everything over. Things went flying. I told myself I’d pick them up later, but evidently, they ended up under the bed, so I didn’t see them. And now … shit, shit, shit, shit. I had been so worried about Dick, I … my brain wasn’t functioning properly.
My phone rang, and I jerked. It was sitting on that fucking nightstand. I didn’t want to see who it was because I knew. I knew. And I couldn’t speak to him right now. I was getting ready to have a catastrophic breakdown. If I were pregnant, he’d accuse me of setting him up. This, I knew for a fact. He’d been down this road before and said he’d never do it again. We’d discussed it.
The room swam before my eyes and I realized I was hyperventilating. I crawled to the kitchen to find a paper bag, cupped it over my mouth, and inhaled. My ass hit the floor with a thud, and in minutes, things settled down. I needed to take a pregnancy test. I wasn’t sure if I had the nerve to do it.
There was only one person who I could talk to right now, so I found my phone and made the call.
“Mills, what’s up?”
“Ells.” I broke down and cried. The story came out in bits and pieces, with her urging me on. I even explained about Hudson, how the last time someone trapped him in marriage, and how he’d never allow it again.
“You have to take a test. You’re torturing yourself. And you can’t compare yourself to Hudson’s ex-wife. You’re not her.”
“I know. I’ll take a test if I don’t get a period.”
“You’re already late. Do it now. If you’re pregnant, you’ll keep it, won’t you?”
My hand flew to my chest as my heart nearly imploded at the thought. “Oh, God. How could you even ask such a thing?”
“I don’t know. You might not be thinking clearly at the moment. I don’t know what you’ll do. I’m worried about you, Mills. You’ve been through so much in the last three years. For a while there, I thought you’d bury yourself in a shell and never come out. When you did, I rejoiced. And this move—I can’t even tell you how I felt. I was so scared at first. I didn’t know it was going to turn out so great. Well, until Dick got hit, that is.”
I rubbed the ache under my ribs that never seemed to disappear. “I won’t deny that I didn’t think I’d survive the loss of little Simon. I just knew he would be the patch my marriage needed. I was wrong by a million miles. But when he died, a huge piece of me died too. Ells, I’ll never get that piece back. It’s hard to explain and unless you’ve experienced a loss like that, you can’t understand. Don’t get me wrong. You, John, Mom, Dad, you all have been so wonderful. But there was only so much you could do. But there’s one thing I’m positive about. If I’m pregnant, I’ll keep this baby. If I have to do this alone, then so be it.”
I knew she was only voicing her concerns. I would deal with this in my own way. The truth was, I was scared shitless. It wasn’t just being pregnant. What if the same thing happened again? What if I lost another baby? If that happened, I would seriously end up in a psych unit forever. And then there was Hudson. I had to tell him, but I was a big chicken, flapping her wings. He was going to shit even worse than me.
“Oh, crap.”
Ells asked, “What now?”
“Mom and Dad are going to know I had sex.”
“Really. You just now thought of that?”
“I’m not married. They’re going to slut shame me.”
“Who do you think our parents are?”
“Huh?”
“Use your brain, dummy.”
I wasn’t following.
“How old are Mom and Dad?”
“Sixty-five.”
“Exactly. They were hippies. They probably screwed the
ir way through college. They were smoking dope and eating marijuana brownies before you were born. Don’t you remember them talking about how Mom would dump all that weed into the brownie batter and they would taste like shit? Then they would be so stoned they couldn’t talk?”
“Mom did that?”
“Yes. I can’t believe you don’t remember. Oh, maybe it was because that dud you were married to would usher you out of the room and you missed all those hilarious conversations.”
My jaw mopped the floor. “I can’t believe Mom made weed brownies.”
“Made ‘em and ate ‘em. She did lots of stuff like take speed and pull all-nighters during exam week, then she and Dad would spend the next week in bed. That’s when I’d plug my ears because that was TMI for me. John would totally crack up when they’d talk about their college years. I think they smoked more weed than drank alcohol. The best story was when she told Gramps that she was heading to California to find herself. He wanted to know when she lost herself in the first place. They had a huge fight and he told her while she was hunting for herself in California, she could start hunting for some money too because she was going to need it to pay for her car, her gas, and everything else, like food. That’s when she found out the gravy train ended. Mom laughed and said she rediscovered herself that very minute.”
“And to think I was afraid they’d find my weed stash when I was home during summer breaks.”
Ells laughed. “As you should’ve been. They probably would’ve stolen it from you. They probably still smoke the stuff, which is why they go to Colorado so much. Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about regarding the sex stuff. Trust me.”
My belly still knotted up every time I thought about Hudson’s reaction.
“Milly, take a pregnancy test. My kids need a cousin.”
“Stop it. This will be a crisis if I’m pregnant.”
“It won’t be as bad as you think. Hudson’s mom already wants to plan a wedding. She practically has you two married off.”
“Married? I don’t want to get married.”
“What do you want?”
That was a good question. What did I want? I really hadn’t thought about it, other than for him to be accepting of this baby if I was indeed pregnant. I hadn’t gotten past that part, because I was too worried he’d hate me.
“I don’t know. How could I have let this happen?”
“You were focused on your dog. That’s how. But don’t worry. Everything will work out.”
Easy for her to say.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Hudson
First thing Monday morning, I called Pearson. He actually answered.
“You at work or home?” I asked.
“Headed to the office.”
“How are things.”
“Uh, they’re doing.”
“What the hell does that mean, Pearson?”
“I’m handling it. What’s up?”
“Lydia showed up at Mom and Dad’s on Saturday night.”
“Would you care to repeat that?”
“You heard me correctly. Can you get an order of protection on her?”
“Tell me what happened.”
I gave him all the dirty details.
“I’m going to need for you to come to the office today. I need an official statement. She broke the law by pushing her way into Mom and Dad’s house and then threatening you. We can take care of this, but you need to do this in front of a witness before I can present this to the police for the official order.”
“What time?”
“I’m in court until noon. Can you come this afternoon?”
“After five. Is that okay?” I asked.
“Yep. See you then.”
“Thanks, bro.”
Glad that would be handled, I called Milly, but she didn’t answer. Maybe she was in the shower. She finally called me back later but sounded off.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound it. You’re not sick, are you?”
“Nope. I’m fine. Just busy this week. Our next fundraiser is coming up so I’m swamped.”
“Okay. I have to run over to Pearson’s office this afternoon. He’s going to take my statement so we can get an order of protection.”
“That’s great. That will give you some comfort knowing she can’t get close.”
“Exactly. Will I see you tonight?”
“Er, yeah. Sure.”
Why did I detect hesitation there?
“Dinner?” I asked.
“You know what? Let’s play it by ear. I’m not sure how late I’ll have to work.”
“Fine. Why don’t you text me when you’re about to leave then?”
“It’s a plan.”
“Hey, gorgeous. I miss you.”
“I, uh, miss you too.”
Again, I felt her hesitation. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes, all is great. See you later.” And the line went dead. I had no reason to think anything was wrong. When we’d gotten back last night, we’d gone to our own apartments because of Wiley. We both thought it was best to stay on the up and up because of him. I also wanted him to have my undivided attention. Milly was totally cool with that. What had changed between then and now? Maybe I was feeling something that wasn’t there. I didn’t have time to dwell on it because we had a busy day at the clinic. The nanny arrived and off I went.
The new veterinarian, Jason, had started and things were running smoothly. It was great to have relief in the practice. Diane told me all the techs liked him. He had an easygoing manner and I was pleased so far.
“I have to leave a little early today,” I announced when I got in.
Jason asked, “Is everything okay?”
“I had an issue with my ex-wife, so I’m going to see my brother, who is my attorney, this afternoon.”
“Oh, man, I hate to hear that.”
“Yeah, but I want to get this taken care of so we’re getting on this right away.”
“I’ve never been through a divorce and hope I never do, but I hope it works out for you.”
“Thanks, man. I think things will be fine. On another note, how do you feel about your first week here?”
“Great. I love your clientele, and you have a great staff.”
“Happy to hear it. I figured you’d be a great fit.”
We talked a little longer when one of the techs came in to let us know a patient was ready. The day flew by and before I knew it, I was on the way to Pearson’s office. He was waiting for me when I arrived.
We man-hugged. He was looking pretty good, which was a relief. I didn’t bring anything up, because it wasn’t the time or place.
“I can’t believe she did that,” he said.
I ran a hand across my jaw. “It was a fucking mess. Milly, who you met at the fundraiser, was with me. The bell rang and she answered the door. Lydia shoved her aside and marched right into the kitchen making all kinds of demands. It was incredible. It took me a few seconds to recover from my shock.”
“I can imagine. Let me get my admin in here and one of the junior attorneys. We’ll record this and document it. Then get your signature witnessed to turn into the police. We still might need to get you down there to make your statement again. It depends on how they feel that day.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes. I just don’t want her showing up at his school one day, or when the nanny has him, and whisking him off to some unknown place where I’ll never see him again. The fear is real, Pearson.”
“I know, man. Don’t worry. We’ll get this handled ASAP.”
It took about an hour to get everything done and afterward, I asked Pearson, “Would you like to come over for dinner one night? Milly and I are together now, and I’d love for you to get to know her.”
“Yeah, er, I’d like that.”
“Hey, no pressure. I just thought maybe you’d also like to see Wiley before he’s twenty-one.”
“Smart ass.”
“When was the last time you saw Mom and Dad?”
“At the fundraiser. And I know. I need to do better. I promise to make an effort.”
“Okay.”
On the elevator ride down, I checked my phone, but there weren’t any messages from Milly. I texted her to let her know I was on the way home from my meeting with Pearson.
Me: Are you close to finishing up?
Milly: No, unfortunately.
Me: Ok, just text when you are. Miss you.
Milly: Miss you too.
Wiley flew at me when I got home. Then he dropped the bomb.
“Daddy, we saw the bad wady today.”
“The bad lady?”
“Yeah, the one that came to Gammie’s and Bebop’s.”
What the fuck was Lydia doing?
Carly looked at me and nodded.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“Yeah. I towd her to weave me awone.”
“Did she?” My heart was not going to handle much more of this.
“She tried to give me a present, but I towd her I didn’t want no presents from her.”
I glanced at Carly and she nodded again.
“Okay, dude. You did great.” I fist bumped him. “Can you run to your room a minute. I want to talk to Carly.”
He did, and Carly filled me in. Lydia was outside the building, waiting when they got home from school. She tried to coax Wiley over, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with her. Then she tried to give him a gift, but just like Wiley said, he told her he didn’t want it. I instructed Carly she was to keep Wiley away from her. I also relayed the information about the order of protection.
“Thank you for protecting my son, Carly.”
“I could tell there was something wrong with that whole scene.”
“I need to call my brother to fill him in.”
Pearson answered right away. When I informed him about what happened, he said, “We’ll push this through ASAP. Hudson, let the school know immediately who she is and that she is not allowed any access to him. There’s always an option of a bodyguard for Wiley when you’re not around him. I’m not suggesting she’ll actually do something, but you never know.”
From Ice to Flames Page 24