As I recall all of this the sad part is I believe I went back to Tristan yet again after the Ian incident. I think for the last time, then the inevitable happened and he and I were finally finished.
I suppose Ian had every right to hate me for what I did, the way I was, he and I were good friends and I tossed him out like yesterday’s newspaper, I just completely discarded him and his feelings, So now that Ian is back we put all that behind us, he has not mentioned Tristan to me since we have been together, as a matter a fact the night Ian came to dinner at my house I told him I was still a virgin he was floored, he kissed me and hugged me like he was so relieved.
Now things are great, we never got to this point until a month ago. When we saw one another at The West Side Market he was home because it’s their 100th anniversary, I guess he was visiting his family they still live here of course.
We just started talking and it’s been good, I know I have not dated for a long time or even wanted to be with anyone but when Ian came back I was in a good place in my life to try and have a healthy relationship with Ian, I mean I can do this with him, I can be with him, we can grow together as a couple I think we have a wonderful history together and that is something to build on, and besides I trust him, he is honest and above board and one day we will have a family together.
I know Ian and I have always been friends since we were kids, we have based our relationship on friendship and mutual respect. I did question there are no throes of passion between us, he was no thief of my virtue as I offered myself to him body and soul, it was not what I imagined it to be and he says we need to work up to all of that, and who am I to question him I just had sex for the first time two weeks ago and it was ok I guess, I have nothing to compare it to so for me I guess it was ok, but after being kissed by Tristan tonight I feel more from his kiss than I felt after having sex with Ian I guess that is why I am drowning my sorrows.
I look back at Ian and my relationship he wanted to make it more years ago but I wasn't ready to let go of Tristan, I wanted Tristan, I wanted to be Mrs. Tristan Bach, I wanted nothing else but Tristan, and Ian tried to make me see how foolish I was behaving over this kid who is eight years younger than me!
I remember the dark times when Ian was forceful trying to bed me seducing me every chance he got and I shot him down over and over because I was fighting off Tristan and his over bearing advances that had me on my back, had my back against the wall and had his hands always inching up my skirt and reaching for my panties. I just couldn’t falter to him, it meant to much to me to give it to a man who didn’t hold me in highest regards, I couldn’t live with giving him my precious gift and him treating it like nothing. His less than honorable approach was not going to give him my pleasure so Tristan and I never even has sex, I just fell in love with Tristan instantly it was so fast and so hard and trust me Tristan tried to get me any way he could, the looks the glared the emails, the drinking the sexual innuendo it had become his hobby keeping me wet and wanton but I couldn’t succumb to his demands sleeping with Tristan there would be a price to pay for my actions and I couldn’t afford the purse, I couldn’t afford to lose a part of me and I have to say it was Ian’s words that stopped me from going down that dark road with Tristan it was also Erika and Christopher who pulled me from the clutches of Tristan and now that they are not here I am to face this all alone and I don’t know if I have the strength to fight him off myself. I’ve never slayed a dragon before and Tristan has always been dragon me in way too deep.
As I recall all of my friends have all tired at one point to get me to see the error of my ways, they all tried to get me to forget about the loathsome Bach but he was never far from my thoughts. Ian and I did spend a lot of time together and I was never aroused or excited or wet for him, it is still like that today sad to say. That is my secret.
What I have realized is Tristan is not for me, he never was for me, it took me a very long time to see that I was never a priority in his life, the way I am in Ian’s. I really don’t even know what Tristan saw in me? I never got the attraction I was not his type at all, he was always hooked on the tall, leggy blonds, I am short, dark hair, dark eyes and not his type at all. I’m happy and secure just knowing that Ian likes me as I am.
I gotta tell ya it’s scary to leave a bride alone with her memories, two men. Two different life styles, it’s heart wrenching, But my solace is Ian, he has wanted me for as long as I can remember, and that is love, unconditional, uncomplicated, and all deserving, come on Aria get yourself together. Just because you saw Tristan it doesn’t mean anything it doesn’t change anything. After a drink with myself I calm and look around my beautiful store and I decide to go through the display cases and keep busy putting the displays together, they say idle hands are the devils workshop, so I push to my feet and get busy on occupying myself as I feel blessed with work.
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I grab the mannequins, I pick a few of my top end dinner suit or tuxedos from our Tristan Collection, quiet not a word out of any of you, I grab some trouser suits with coordinating shirts, I pull something that I really love which are dinner jackets, they are elegant make a statement you can make them quite formal and quite leisure for a destination wedding or wardrobe show stopper. I get busy in creating a scene I have a table that is set with a wedding cake on it and china and the bride in the gown, It’s quite easy to lose yourself in all of this and that is what I am counting on.
What I always try to do is of course the obvious wedding attire but also the graduation to bat mitzvah, new job, new position, I like when I can get my customers to think outside of the box a few more throws of confetti and I call this window done.
I finished cleaning up the store, I even cleaned the light fixtures and dusted the shelves, I just want to be busy, wow its only after nine pm, I was getting a bit tipsy too, I had three vodka’s and I decided to put my dress away if I try and work on it the way I am I’ll wind up ruining it.
I can’t even see to thread a needle. I put the dress back into my office and I locked up for the night, the window display came out great I give it one last look and I am taking my tired ass home.
Hopefully I will get my mind back on my wedding and off of Tristan Back, to think kissing a fool and I am engaged to someone else, never thought that was going to happen today.
Chapter 5
I REMEMBER YOU
I head towards the Ritz Carlton hotel, the casino crowd was out and about for a Friday night, it is wonderful to see so many people enjoying downtown again. I realize that I am in no shape to drive home, jeez look at me, it’s like all those years ago, every time Tristan and I got together the drinks just kept flowing and here I am too drunk to drive home. I decide I will take a taxi home, I have to, I can’t drive like this. I will tell Lawrence the valet to take care of my car for the evening. Yeah that is the best thing to do. I always park on the side of The Ritz Carlton Hotel.
I make my way through the vestibule of the hotel to get to the street entrance when I glanced over at the lounge, they had a good crowd, the live music usually brings in the drinkers, a trio is playing as I look over but what catches my eye is him, oh no! there he is, the hair on the back of my neck is standing up, my pulse is racing, Tristan is sitting at a table in the bar, he left my store a little over two hours ago and he came here to what drink away his worries or ponder what he has done to me the look on his face says it all he is smoldering and laced with guilt.
I keep walking towards the exit he didn’t see me he must be smashed beyond recognition by now for sure. I make my way past the bar entrance to the valet desk where Lawrence is attending to guest. I wait for a moment and he brings me back to the reason I am here.
“Miss Macy, how are you this evening? I see your Cadillac is waiting for you as usual”
“Um Lawrence I‘m going to need a taxi and can you valet my car please?”
“Absolutely Miss. Macy right this way!” he leads me out the gold and glass doors that are held open by a whi
te gloved Ritz Carlton doorman.
“Thank you James”
“My pleasure Miss Macy” James has been a door man at almost every Ritz all over the world he comes to us from Scotland I believe. I stand under the royal blue and white awning as the wind blows my brunette curly tendrils off my face.
Lawrence whistles for a taxi and one pulls up straight away, he opens the door for me with his white gloved service, I move to give him my keys but pull them back quickly, I don’t know what’s coming over me but I am not going home like a good fiancée.
“You know what I forgot something” I utter nervously as I check my watch which I can’t see anyway, due to the fact that I have been drinking for the better part of the evening.
Lawrence shuts the taxi door and I walk around pass the crowd on the street and go into the side entrance of Tower Centre, where there is no doorman, I walk through the revolving door and see Tristan through the window, he definitely got his monies worth, that sharp suit has got me intrigued, his tie is loose and the top button is open at his neck, he takes a hit from his cigarette and the smoke surrounds him, he looks like the painting Blvd. of broken dreams, he is just missing Elvis, Marilyn and Bogart because he has always been the James Dean in my life, young and troubled.
I stand to the side of the window so he can’t see me as I just take him all in, God he looks good, a portrait of my old heart’s desire.
After closer observation he is a trifle bit thinner, he has always had the greatest shoulders squared and bold, and of course in that tailored jacket wow he is quite impressive actually, who knew he would clean up so good. I am a glutton for punishment I gotta know why.
I Lick my lips and open the next button on my silk and lace blouse and I’m a girl on a fact finding mission as I make my way pass the vestibule of the Ritz Carlton I walk into the bar pass the hostess
“I see my party thank you” I walk pass the sushi station as I cross the dance floor his back is to me and I take a deep breath as I pull out the box of charm and smack it on my face. I stride with determination and grace as I stand in front of his table arms crossed there is a candle burning as it glows and shines against his face I know this is going to be challenging.
“Well if it isn’t mad bad and dangerous to know” The look on his face is priceless; it’s nice to know that I can still shock the hell out of the arrogant son-of-a-bitch. His eyes are daunting and mysterious but familiar just the same.
“It’s nice to see you drink in better venues now!” he stands up and I get a tiny hint of his cologne and it does things to me even today
“Please Aria join me for a drink”
“So a drink with the narcissistic egotistical maniac?”
“Live a little Aria you know you want to?” he must be drunk by now, he walks behind me with caution or is it chivalry, I’m not sure yet he reaches for my elbow.
“You know I think I will Mr. Bach” I look at him and ok I am here on a mission and drinks could help my endeavor.
“You aren’t here for round two are you? As he caresses the cheek that I slapped.
I smile and everyone knows that sarcasm is my middle name.
“I didn’t hear a bell, did you?” He smiles back at me shaking his head from side to side my sarcasm has always made Tristan smile, it was my harsh words that made him run and it will be something else tonight that is for sure.
The wait staffs at The Ritz Carlton are impeccable; you will never go thirsty here, or apparently sober up by the looks of Tristan.
“What can I get for you miss?”
“I’ll have what he’s having”
“Club soda with lime?” I laugh out loud at the absurdity
“Club Soda? Are you kidding me” I grabbed his glass and take a sip. Then I realize I am the one who is consumed with drink not dear old Mr. Bach! I sink down into my seat as I realize this is a whole new ballgame.
“Do you still want a club soda?”
I looked at Tristan “Stoli’s Ohranj” we both said it at the same time. Tristan orders two Stoli’s Ohranj on the rocks with a lime…he remembered.
“So Mr. Bach what are you doing here?” I sit down across from him and put my Chanel bag on the chair to my left.
“I should be asking you the same question Aria” his voice is low and sultry as he questions me; I reach for his lit cigarette that is smoldering in the ashtray between us and take a hit off of it. I blow the smoke over our heads as it hovers above us and dissipates.
The taste and familiarity is something that I have not experienced probably since the last time that Tristan and I had been together. I catch a glimpse of his sexy smile, or smirk, touch his lips; oh the things he does with those glares and looks. If I am seeing correctly I can tell he is pondering something already the self-righteous bastard that he is ...hmm
“You didn’t answer my question Aria?” he looks me in the eyes as I pass him his cigarette.
“Oh I can’t have a drink after work?” I act as nonchalant as possible
“I’m not complaining I have to say drinking with you has always been my favorite pastime and a lovely way to spend an evening” he takes a long drag off his cigarette and blows the smoke out in rings over our heads as I smile and poke my fingers into them before they disappear, he is playful tonight but I’m a lady on a mission and I begin with my sarcastic quote to gauge his reaction and feel him out.
“You sure as hell think you are a blessing instead of a lesson” I quote my favorite Frank Ocean his smile fades as I believe I just irked him
“Where’s your fiancé?” that deep voice almost spits this question at me, my sarcasm comes with a smile.
“You are as sanctimonious as ever, if you must know Ian is in Chicago” Tristan takes the last hit off the cigarette and puts it out, he looks almost nervous interesting he doesn’t seem the same despondent fiend from yester year but the night is still young.
“So are you two going to remain in Cleveland after you marry?”
“Yes, Ian is a college Professor at CWU; he has transferred here from Chicago”
Tristan loosens his tie even more, is he doing this on purpose to entice me? Wow he is quite handsome be still my beating heart. His piercing hazel eyes that raven black tousled hair it’s a pretty potent cocktail sitting across from me.
“I thought you were in New York, the last I heard, you were going to work in the New York Office to head up the mergers and acquisitions dept. I know you never were the country girl to stick it out here and settle”
“I never said I hated the country, I just said if I was going to live in the country it had better be to raise a family and settle down!”
Tristan tries to suppress a laugh because he knows I have been drinking already, and he is still sober, talk about the tables turning, impious beast of burden that he is.
“Good evening you two” Our drinks arrive on a silver tray, along with a silver bowl of assorted warm nuts. I reach for my drink and Tristan gives me that look.
“Ok Aria what are we drinking to?”
I looked at those hazel eyes of his and smile just as sullen as he does.
“To burying the past Mr. Bach.”
Tristan holds up his drink as he glares at me shaking his head from side to side ever so slightly, we clink our glasses and our eyes never leave one another, the way he looks at me, it’s as if he looks through me, he makes me nervous so I go for the obvious, question and answer format for this evening’s festivities.
“I have to ask you something, since you are still here after leaving my store quite some time ago, what is the real reason you came to see me, and be HONEST?” as I point my well- manicured index finger at him.
I glance at my watch, when I am nervous, I can’t tell you what time it is, shit I can’t see a thing when I’m drinking.
“Do you really want to know?” he reaches for another cigarette and lights it up I cross my arms,
“Yes I believe that is the question that is on the table so let’s go, out with it Bach
” what is he hiding he has me intrigued as we glower at one another.
He blows the smoke out of his nose almost as a sigh.
“I have been trying to find you for the past six months Aria,”
“Why have you been looking for me?”
“Well after we broke up I tried to forget about you, but your words haunted me, all those talks about the future, about what I wanted out of life, all those whispered conversations we had, you changed the way I looked at myself, you changed the way I was living my life, Aria you made me see that I could be whatever I wanted if I worked hard, if I applied myself. I took your words serious, everything I wanted, I went out there and I got it. I bought the restaurant, I just remember what we’ve talked about how I needed to find my place in this world, but what really got me was when I realized that the one person I wanted to share all this with was gone. It just made me want to see you, find you, and make all the wrong right again” he is looking at me with sincerity as he spills his guts and worse he opens his heart to me.
Well that was not what I was expecting to hear; I mean adult words coming out of his mouth, I know better, this smug self-centered bastard is still Tristan Bach, and it leaves me wondering what is he angle? Ok I’ll bite.
“Excuse me Tristan but this all sounds so two years ago, you know the same broken record, what has changed besides you dress much better now, nice suit by the way” he flashes me his killer good looking smile. He knows his is hot, he knows he is handsome modesty and humble have never been his characteristics at all. I have never seen, in a way that tells me
“Thank you, Aria the most important thing that has changed is I have not kissed another women in two years until you today” I am in chartered waters now as chill runs through me
“So you became a monk?” he laughs at my comment and pushes his hair back
A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) Page 6